never lend money to anyone, make this your principle.
Originally posted by Rooney_07:never lend money to anyone, make this your principle.
wrong... lend money can, but make sure you're a happy person even if the money is not recoverable... i usually give to my friends assuming it's really sincered but small amounts, a few thousands i dun have, a few hundred for good friends is ok i think. for my best friend, all he want to take also can lah. i even set half my will to give when i die.
Originally posted by starz119:Hi, my father only has one brother on his side. I have never met him before. I know from my mother he is estranged from my dad and he is not living in S’pore. Nobody knows where he is after 40 over years. On my mother’s side, my aunts are all old and some also passed on. One of my aunts as I mentioned before lent money to my older sis which she never repaid and somemore avoided aunt’s phone calls. The relatives on my mother side are all scared to have anything to do with us. I can understand that. Who want to be close to our dysfunctional family. If no one there wants to help, I have no authority to force them or ask them to do so. Such is life. Own family problems ownself settle.
A thriving family is one that respects and protect each other.
Your parents and older siblings are predators. It is easier to take advantage of family members because we usually don't guard against family as much as we guard against outsiders.
Some family members are simply not worth keeping. They can only take advantage of you once.. but never again.
You are a mother and wife now, it is your job to protect your children and husband from the rot of your past.
Originally posted by starz119:You would not be in my list of people I want to thank becos' all u really do is ranting. I have a hard time trying to read what u wrote and trying to make them coherent. My kids won't get to read this I will make sure cos' the things u wrote here are really hot air and firework. Talk abt standing up for yourself. I am standing up for myself now. How abt that? U r still a hypocrite to me. You persistent posting in my thread is not acts of forgiving more like pettiness, immaturity and narcissitic. You prefer to attack other people's family and I emphasize here: don't act smart and asked me why I never stand up for myself. Ok? If u were abused as a child, do u think u had the strength, means and courage to fend for yourself? If everybody can do like what u said, there there;ll be no more abuses in this world.
pay no attention to cassey aka galipoli.he as as much intergrity as a crop of potatos seven feet in the ground.no one in sgforum takes note of him anymore.
besides that he is a malaysian who has never even went through national service as from my past repeated questions to him regarding ns and enlistment which he couldnt answer all of them other than googling info n throw in other distracting questions .its an insult to your intelligence for listening or even to let him tell u what to do in life.he is only here to destroy the weak and mainly talking shit.
pay no attention to him.u make him sound like he is worth your time replying.
Originally posted by Hitman Factory 1:pay no attention to cassey aka galipoli.he as as much intergrity as a crop of potatos seven feet in the ground.no one in sgforum takes note of him anymore.
besides that he is a malaysian who has never even went through national service as from my past repeated questions to him regarding ns and enlistment which he couldnt answer all of them other than googling info n throw in other distracting questions .its an insult to your intelligence for listening or even to let him tell u what to do in life.he is only here to destroy the weak and mainly talking shit.
pay no attention to him.u make him sound like he is worth your time replying.
ya lah, can ignore cassey... alot of sound come out but nothing useful, lol...
Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:ya lah, can ignore cassey... alot of sound come out but nothing useful, lol...
Should ignore my uncle hitman instead,...cassey is at level 2 only, my uncle ward is at underground basement 2, which is for those more serious patient, the VVIP patient hor. You must know who you dealing with ya, not every gal is an Angel hor.
Originally posted by jojobeach:A thriving family is one that respects and protect each other.
Your parents and older siblings are predators. It is easier to take advantage of family members because we usually don't guard against family as much as we guard against outsiders.
Some family members are simply not worth keeping. They can only take advantage of you once.. but never again.
You are a mother and wife now, it is your job to protect your children and husband from the rot of your past.
But hor, sista, family very hard to open mouth leh, especially family business, sometime in private corporation, you can just scold or yell at subordinates or superior, then walk off or F off, but family cannot leh, end of the day, still need to dinner together, so it is kind of awkward within family members to really tell you the truth or what they think, some sibling keep problem inside so long until one day...BOOMMM! kill the father or shoot everyone down. Do not think family no need guards, it can be more dangerous then you thought ya. Some people dun like to go home one leh.
I believe each famlly also need to cultivate their own behavor and culture, it should be more toward a jovial and relax kind of culture, allow problem, allow mistake and alway be open and most importantly, happy and humorous like me.
Originally posted by angel7030:
Should ignore my uncle hitman instead,...cassey is at level 2 only, my uncle ward is at underground basement 2, which is for those more serious patient, the VVIP patient hor. You must know who you dealing with ya, not every gal is an Angel hor.
......basement 2???that used to be your playground!
Originally posted by jojobeach:A thriving family is one that respects and protect each other.
Your parents and older siblings are predators. It is easier to take advantage of family members because we usually don't guard against family as much as we guard against outsiders.
Some family members are simply not worth keeping. They can only take advantage of you once.. but never again.
You are a mother and wife now, it is your job to protect your children and husband from the rot of your past.
Hi jojo beach, thanks for ur post. Now I'll never let them take advantage of me again. My mother has stopped calling after knowing she can't get money from me. I am trying to keep a positive attitude. I will devote my energy, love and time to my hubby, my 2 kids and to my mother-in-law, she has been very understanding abt my situation.:)
Originally posted by starz119:
Is your older sis also the eldest sis?
Originally posted by winsomeea:Is your older sis also the eldest sis?
Originally posted by starz119:
yes, she is.
It is not in every family but in general eldest daughters are pets of mothers. Mothers dote on them regardless what behaviour and character they have.
In my family and others I know of most of them are nasty bitches. Create havoc in the family.
Stay away from her, if situation gets over the limit sever tie with her. Some instances whereby the eldest sisters are habitual troulemakers are breaking up the families, if nothing else help sever tie is the best to get rid of problem.
If I were you, I will tell her dun bother repaying me the 8k, just get the hell out of my life, as I dun want to ever see you again.
Originally posted by winsomeea:It is not in every family but in general eldest daughters are pets of mothers. Mothers dote on them regardless what behaviour and character they have.
In my family and others I know of most of them are nasty bitches. Create havoc in the family.
Stay away from her, if situation gets over the limit sever tie with her. Some instances whereby the eldest sisters are habitual troulemakers are breaking up the families, if nothing else help sever tie is the best to get rid of problem.
Originally posted by Rooney_07:If I were you, I will tell her dun bother repaying me the 8k, just get the hell out of my life, as I dun want to ever see you again.
Originally posted by starz119:
It's really scary to have a family like mine. Sometimes I wonder how they can sleep at night.
since you are married and dun live with them anymore, just dun go to their place no more lor. they will get the message de. get the hell out of my life pls
Originally posted by starz119:
Even my younger sis feels the same way, now my brother and mother's target is my younger sis liao. She just called me today to tell me.
There she goes, affecting family members' relationship. That is typical of eldest sisters way of manipulation. Sometimes they carry this over to friendship to affect friendship of others.
Best is cut off from her, she is not worth it, she is indulging in troublemaking.
hi starz... seems like there's a lot of arguement over here against cassey! lols... i've nth against anyone here but starz i jus feel that forgiveness is not necessaryily totally wrong. However, it does not work for you and will not work for you right now also.. Probably in future. Personally my mum have been a victim of verbal and some sort of mental abuse frm my grandpa and grandma back when she was young. Forgiveness came to her only when grandpa passed away and after we cut ties with my uncle. Forgiveness is always good to embrace, but not in all circumstance.
Whatever blabber cassey has said, is in little sense correct but in full sense not applicable to you at all. Do not get heated up at whatever he says because this aint gonna help you in your problem but getting heated up clouds your views actually.
I believe i asked about your husband. What is his stand on this issue? Since your issue is with ur parents side, how supportive is your husband in assisting you in dealing with them? I believe the last resort would be to cut off ties with them... if really nth else can be done to resolve the issue. If not, the anguish and anger you are feeling will jus snowball.
Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:hi starz... seems like there's a lot of arguement over here against cassey! lols... i've nth against anyone here but starz i jus feel that forgiveness is not necessaryily totally wrong. However, it does not work for you and will not work for you right now also.. Probably in future. Personally my mum have been a victim of verbal and some sort of mental abuse frm my grandpa and grandma back when she was young. Forgiveness came to her only when grandpa passed away and after we cut ties with my uncle. Forgiveness is always good to embrace, but not in all circumstance.
Whatever blabber cassey has said, is in little sense correct but in full sense not applicable to you at all. Do not get heated up at whatever he says because this aint gonna help you in your problem but getting heated up clouds your views actually.
I believe i asked about your husband. What is his stand on this issue? Since your issue is with ur parents side, how supportive is your husband in assisting you in dealing with them? I believe the last resort would be to cut off ties with them... if really nth else can be done to resolve the issue. If not, the anguish and anger you are feeling will jus snowball.
Originally posted by starz119:
Hi thanks for sharing. My husband totally supports my decisions. We have in the past tried to reconcile but it didn't work so we decide to cut off ties with those undesirable people (except my younger sis). We are both staying focused on our kids. When I came to this forum, I was confused but now I know what to do. No one way/solution works for everyone but it works in my case. I have come to understand life is too short to keep holding on to people who do not genuinely care about me. I want to say thank you all and take care everyone. :)
:) it is good that you felt you have found your solution to your problem. Good luck and take care. Your child and your husband shld be of utmost important now. If some ppl genuinely dun care about you, it is no longer your obligation to care about them anymore.
Originally posted by Hwaimeng:i dont think using excuse of yr sister never return u $8K is a vaild reason not to paid yr dad hospital bill. yr dad is yr dad, yr sister is yr sister u are using yr sister as a excuse not to do something for yr dad.
u are a adult. should different things in adult way.
if im been harsh, i apologise,
Hwaimeng - Starz119 not working got kids to feed - spare money already go to sister = bad debt no money = no money.
Maybe since you adult way so much - you loan starz119 the $$$
Starz119 - if Hwaimeng loan you $$$ - make sure you don't reply him - let see how adult he is !!!
Originally posted by starz119:
Hi thanks for sharing. My husband totally supports my decisions. We have in the past tried to reconcile but it didn't work so we decide to cut off ties with those undesirable people (except my younger sis). We are both staying focused on our kids. When I came to this forum, I was confused but now I know what to do. No one way/solution works for everyone but it works in my case. I have come to understand life is too short to keep holding on to people who do not genuinely care about me. I want to say thank you all and take care everyone. :)
Relatives and sibling can be good on the skin, but when it come to money, caring for parents and deeds issues, even their kids argued with yr kids over some games can become world war 3.
Care for yourself first, once you are well taken cared by yourself, just like me, then care about others, most people cannot even care for themselves, then want to care and talk big on others.,,..yuck.
On Board plane, in emergency, the oxygen mask will drop, please tend to yourself first before you put it on your child, thank you.
You lend money to bank, expect a 50% good return and 50% bad return
You lend money to friend, expect 70% return and 30% non returnable
You lend money to relatives, expect 0% return
Originally posted by jojobeach:A thriving family is one that respects and protect each other.
Your parents and older siblings are predators. It is easier to take advantage of family members because we usually don't guard against family as much as we guard against outsiders.
Some family members are simply not worth keeping. They can only take advantage of you once.. but never again.
You are a mother and wife now, it is your job to protect your children and husband from the rot of your past.
wHY is it that you always think family members take advantage of each other? I don;t know about your family but dun think that all families are like yours.
The starz may have lost hope on all family members but there is still the youngest sister.
You are so negative.
Jojo beach, teach wrong things. In all the negativity and hurt jojo exhibit, influence starz to also hate her innocent youngest sister. Bad advice from bad upbringing.