Originally posted by DaneIngal:
Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.

Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.

I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.

Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?

Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day...
It jus about washing plates... This is neither your fault nor his fault.. is jus a
MISCOMMUNICATION between you and your dad...

Your parents are old and aging.. I don't see any wrong with you helping him to wash his plates.. since you said you are about to finish washing.. but HAVent right?? Moreover they brought you up all these years.. And it has been hard for them too..

You are rather sensible as you know by doing some chores and helping out at home.. can reduce your mother workload.. As a daughter.. I don't see you need to make a big fuss about such thing.. Washing one more plate doesn't make any difference...

Last time you depend so much on them.. Now is time for them to depend on you.. If you are holding your principle that strong.. that everyone must wash their plates when their done.. If your parents are old and weak.. one day while you about to finish washing.. your dad chuck his plates to you again.. are you still goin to grumble at him saying he should wash this himself?? NO! everyone in the family do contribute alittle to this house..

Your mum is now stuck between you and your dad.. She doesn't know what to do.. "SHOU PI SHI ROU SHOU XIN YE SHI ROU".

As a daughter, try to be more considerate.. No matter what they are still your parents.. If you are really so unhappy about such things.. Talk to them nicely.. Sit down and chat with them... Don't talk to them like as if you so "buay song" with them.. Respect them!

Treasure them.. Once they are gone.. you regret for being so unreasonable in the future...

Try to communicate with them more often if possible.. all these small little problems can be avoided.. If you dun feel that irritated by the doings of your dad.. will this matter arise?? No right? SOmetimes when you are angry about your parents.. think twice first.. Issit really a must to get angry over such things.. Issit really that important?? They know you are big enough to take care of yourself.. And of cos.. Slowly it will be you to take care of the home and everything..

Cheers!
