Father and I
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Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.
Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.
I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.
Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?
Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day... -
if it just washing plates, ok lah. Asian parents normally like that one lah, they wun say thanks to their kids or apologise to them. Likewise, have we kids really say thank you to our parents often except only when they give us money and most of them think it is their obligation to give us money. So if i t just a small m atter of plates then let it go, afterall its y our father who has provided for you, not any other stranger.Originally posted by DaneIngal:Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.
Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.
I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.
Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?
Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day... -
wash one plate also washing plates, wash two plates also washing plates, sometimes, Kai Yi Zhi Yan Bi Yi Zhi Yan, quarrels will lessen~~
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wash plate only mah...
in my household the last one washes everything up
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for mine is, you eat liao go and wash, if the next person eat finish liao, can long bang the first person wash~~ but me leh, sometimes will long bang the last person to wash, hahaOriginally posted by kopiosatu:wash plate only mah...
in my household the last one washes everything up 
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car pool ah??? tumpang here and there, hahahahahaahOriginally posted by Estee:for mine is, you eat liao go and wash, if the next person eat finish liao, can long bang the first person wash~~ but me leh, sometimes will long bang the last person to wash, haha -
muahahahahaOriginally posted by kopiosatu:car pool ah??? tumpang here and there, hahahahahaah -
imho, you are both right and wrong.Originally posted by DaneIngal:Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.
Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.
I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.
Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?
Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day...
right in the sense that yah everybody should wash their own plates
wrong in the sense that why can't you just help your father to wash since you are in the process of washing the plates. just treat it like "on the way" la, shun bian. not like he finish eating then pinpoint you to wash his plates FOR him, right?
after all he's your father. just relaz and dun think too far away -
my dad does it all the time. or rather this kind of pushing to someone else always happens.what happens is that i give up and wash it as well. or if my mum is ard then she will step in and wash.
there is nothing u can do loh.except wash it or leave it there to for someone to wash. for the latter,u will get a scolding or at least in my case. -
It jus about washing plates... This is neither your fault nor his fault.. is jus a MISCOMMUNICATION between you and your dad...Originally posted by DaneIngal:Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.
Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.
I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.
Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?
Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day...
Your parents are old and aging.. I don't see any wrong with you helping him to wash his plates.. since you said you are about to finish washing.. but HAVent right?? Moreover they brought you up all these years.. And it has been hard for them too..
You are rather sensible as you know by doing some chores and helping out at home.. can reduce your mother workload.. As a daughter.. I don't see you need to make a big fuss about such thing.. Washing one more plate doesn't make any difference...
Last time you depend so much on them.. Now is time for them to depend on you.. If you are holding your principle that strong.. that everyone must wash their plates when their done.. If your parents are old and weak.. one day while you about to finish washing.. your dad chuck his plates to you again.. are you still goin to grumble at him saying he should wash this himself?? NO! everyone in the family do contribute alittle to this house..
Your mum is now stuck between you and your dad.. She doesn't know what to do.. "SHOU PI SHI ROU SHOU XIN YE SHI ROU".
As a daughter, try to be more considerate.. No matter what they are still your parents.. If you are really so unhappy about such things.. Talk to them nicely.. Sit down and chat with them... Don't talk to them like as if you so "buay song" with them.. Respect them!
Treasure them.. Once they are gone.. you regret for being so unreasonable in the future...
Try to communicate with them more often if possible.. all these small little problems can be avoided.. If you dun feel that irritated by the doings of your dad.. will this matter arise?? No right? SOmetimes when you are angry about your parents.. think twice first.. Issit really a must to get angry over such things.. Issit really that important?? They know you are big enough to take care of yourself.. And of cos.. Slowly it will be you to take care of the home and everything..
Cheers! -
Laziness is the root of the problem. Well that's usually the norm. WHen comes to washing of plates or cleaning of home usually family members will SIAM then later on Mum will come in to wash.
If everyone put in a little effort house chores will be done in a blink isn't it? -
Now we very hard to talk to each other...seems got barrier. None of us have started saying sorrie, heart...pain. -
normally hows de relationship btween dad n family? cud b sum problems at workplace. jus a wild guessOriginally posted by DaneIngal:Just this evening, after dinner, I was washing my plate when my father quickly gobbled up his food and slide his dirty plates onto the basin.
Feelin a bit irritated, I nearly finish washing anyway, I said to him that everyone should wash his/her plate as a form of habit or social responsibility.
I simply thought that this will lessen the workload of my mother when I'm not around.
He wasn't happy and said, since I said that everyone should wash his/her own plates then everyone should take care of themselves and he should not feel any obligations in taking care of me.
Things just escalated downwards from then on.
Can anyone just tell me wat to do now? Is it my fault or his? It's just my own principle that whatever you want to do, do it yourself, be independent. And yet on the other hand, is this unfilial on me?
Now my mum is stuck between us two...I feel really bad that such a thing has to happen on this day...