Haven's 12 O'clock Thoughts
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Somehow...after so many people posting their problems.
I realised that there are people who claimed to have loved the person so much that they are so broken hearted and all those poor thing stuff. Victimised.
Of cos! Who would dare to say that it's the victim's fault having all those heartaches??? When i see most of the either sexes supporting their own gender and start calling the gender names.
When it's the victim's story we've seen. One sided....
When 'victim' may not understand his/her partner totally well...
they still claimed to know the other half very well. Con't below...
I agree to some extend when couples knew each for a long time before engaging into intimate relationship will 'know most of the time'.
Like those little actions, or shifty movements...body language.
Many things are just naturally known by the other party.
And to those for claiming to 'understand' the person after knowing him/her for only two months or slightly more and then happily jump into a relationship are all deluded beings.
It may sound harsh...
And though Aunt Agony is a place to find some answers and advice, help and comfort...
You're free to post watever you think.
I am also doing it now.
There are some things to ponder about those unpleasant incidents which happened:
Besides that....does the topic starter understand what goes on in his/her partner's mind?
The cause of it?
The event which changed a person's character?
Errr.....horoscope clashes...??? (personally i don't agree following the star signs thru all the way, there are some truths to certain things. But never allow zodiac or horoscope to determine who you are.)
Remember You are what you think You are.
To continue,
When so much words was being shown here to display how much love was given and how hurting it was being cheated, stuff like that.
Ever wondered if all those time and words was not brought here?
but to the person who needs to hear it most? I believe it'll make a whole lot of difference...i sincerely believe that everyone is their own master.
Every decisions made will be engulfed within the Law of Cause and Effect.
Allow me to share some possiblities...
When a person seeking help comes into AA.
Many will give one lined answers like? Dump him/her, he's/she's not worth your ......this and that lalala....
It'll only instill negetive decisions onto the 'victim' without any sound advice in explaining why some AA forumite will think that his/her 'one-liner' contribution makes sense?
A desperate person who needs help so much will readily catch all things that was said. Though not all....but sub-conciously had registered in their sad minds.
And to the 'victims':
This is one question i pondered...
Does vicitim feel what the other party feels when relationship is deteriorating?
Maybe he/she is screaming at the top of his/her voice 'in his/her heart' that he/she's frustrated with the way things are going.
And somehow....victims are just so into doing all those lovey dovey stuff for him/her....this the part when they'll start telling people how they showered love and how much they did things for him/her and this was they got in return.
Hmm...i think all relationship has to know get this rule in their head.
That's Reality Check. Or Self Check.
'Victims' may be shocked to know from him/her that they don't really want 'victims' to do SO MUCH for them....but to do the things two person enjoys.
What will relationship become when only one party gets the recieving end? Expectations and resentments will start hovering in the heads of those who give till they're so tired of doing it. But it's amazing that some people just continue doing that cos they still thought that's how relationship should go about.
Still ponders....
Though two a guy and a girl comes together with different agenda in their mind
Guys : Sex? Show off? Ego? Blah Blah...
Girls : Love? Care and concern? Security? Blah blah...
I believe that Love is truly something which breaks all, if not, most barriers.
Communication is one.
Doing is one.
Saying is one.
The most important of all in my opinion is enjoyment two person have when they do whatever they like.
Finally, to those people getting into relationship.
Consider carefully what person you're going into relationship with.
People change...though you may claim to know them well enough...
No body knows another person no matter how long. Simply you're not Him/Her!
Accept changes and move along.If you can't move on and don't get into another blindly(which many are practicing
)
Thank to you who's reading this post.
And i apologise for making this post my longest written one
But no apologies to what my comments.
Though i may not have covered everything...but yup...this are my thoughts today.
To Guys: Stop being devils ArseOles! Stop breaking girl's heart and be a monk!!
To Girls: When a guy does a hundred things right....
one wrong will make the hundred fall like tumbling blocks. Sigh....
Haven's Thoughts -
WoohOoo!!!!!
/me whistle whistle. -
i have a pair of fwenz. n we all suppose they are a couple
they do everything together, just exactly what couples do. but they do not have a status. as people 'suan' them, they would just look at each other and smile. they know they like each other and rumours do not pose any threats to them.
people with the status of being steady are sometimes jealous when their bf talks to another girl.
but for this special couple, they both do not think they have the right to be jealous.
but after being together for so long, the bond and trust between them is so strong that they do not get jealous at all.
they do not try to control one another lives because they know they do not have the right to do so.
love equates to having trust in that person
if you want to gain the sense of security from her by getting a status from her, it means that you do not trust her. n not trusting her simply means u are not in love with her. so why give her the fake status?
perhaps your reasoning out to be steady would be that you think it would be alright to 'touch' her, you are condemned.
yes, by me.
without being tied up, you can always get to know more friends. and then no jealousy is caused in anyone and no one has the right to stop you.
this is a tiny paragraph extracted from my blog.. .. hmm maybe not much link with the topic lar =p, paiseh ah hehe -
Hmm...
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Yup! don't find any relavance in the topic. But no fear!! Just contribute your thoughts.Originally posted by evangelyn:i have a pair of fwenz. n we all suppose they are a couple
they do everything together, just exactly what couples do. but they do not have a status. as people 'suan' them, they would just look at each other and smile. they know they like each other and rumours do not pose any threats to them.
people with the status of being steady are sometimes jealous when their bf talks to another girl.
but for this special couple, they both do not think they have the right to be jealous.
but after being together for so long, the bond and trust between them is so strong that they do not get jealous at all.
they do not try to control one another lives because they know they do not have the right to do so.
love equates to having trust in that person
if you want to gain the sense of security from her by getting a status from her, it means that you do not trust her. n not trusting her simply means u are not in love with her. so why give her the fake status?
perhaps your reasoning out to be steady would be that you think it would be alright to 'touch' her, you are condemned.
yes, by me.
without being tied up, you can always get to know more friends. and then no jealousy is caused in anyone and no one has the right to stop you.
this is a tiny paragraph extracted from my blog.. .. hmm maybe not much link with the topic lar =p, paiseh ah hehe
P.s: Your sharing brings new perspective. Good one.
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Originally posted by Haven:
Intriguing. Maybe the victim do so much that does not fall into their partners life. Like showing their partner with so much concern and love when what their partner actually need is some breathing space. How bout those who do observe their would be partners and then find some incompatibilities or different mindset of life, future etc. Would you have taken the step when you noe that the relationship is heading towards gloom? Not that its impossible to carry it on but maybe v difficult.
Somehow...after so many people posting their problems.
I realised that there are people who claimed to have loved the person so much that they are so broken hearted and all those poor thing stuff. Victimised.
Of cos! Who would dare to say that it's the victim's fault having all those heartaches??? When i see most of the either sexes supporting their own gender and start calling the gender names.
When it's the victim's story we've seen. One sided....
When 'victim' may not understand his/her partner totally well...
they still claimed to know the other half very well. Con't below...
I agree to some extend when couples knew each for a long time before engaging into intimate relationship will 'know most of the time'.
Like those little actions, or shifty movements...body language.
Many things are just naturally known by the other party.
And to those for claiming to 'understand' the person after knowing him/her for only two months or slightly more and then happily jump into a relationship are all deluded beings.
It may sound harsh...
And though Aunt Agony is a place to find some answers and advice, help and comfort...
You're free to post watever you think.
I am also doing it now.
There are some things to ponder about those unpleasant incidents which happened:
Besides that....does the topic starter understand what goes on in his/her partner's mind?
The cause of it?
The event which changed a person's character?
Errr.....horoscope clashes...??? (personally i don't agree following the star signs thru all the way, there are some truths to certain things. But never allow zodiac or horoscope to determine who you are.)
Remember [b]You are what you think You are.
To continue,
When so much words was being shown here to display how much love was given and how hurting it was being cheated, stuff like that.
Ever wondered if all those time and words was not brought here?
but to the person who needs to hear it most? I believe it'll make a whole lot of difference...i sincerely believe that everyone is their own master.
Every decisions made will be engulfed within the Law of Cause and Effect.
Allow me to share some possiblities...
When a person seeking help comes into AA.
Many will give one lined answers like? Dump him/her, he's/she's not worth your ......this and that lalala....
It'll only instill negetive decisions onto the 'victim' without any sound advice in explaining why some AA forumite will think that his/her 'one-liner' contribution makes sense?
A desperate person who needs help so much will readily catch all things that was said. Though not all....but sub-conciously had registered in their sad minds.
And to the 'victims':
This is one question i pondered...
Does vicitim feel what the other party feels when relationship is deteriorating?
Maybe he/she is screaming at the top of his/her voice 'in his/her heart' that he/she's frustrated with the way things are going.
And somehow....victims are just so into doing all those lovey dovey stuff for him/her....this the part when they'll start telling people how they showered love and how much they did things for him/her and this was they got in return.
Hmm...i think all relationship has to know get this rule in their head.
That's Reality Check. Or Self Check.
'Victims' may be shocked to know from him/her that they don't really want 'victims' to do SO MUCH for them....but to do the things two person enjoys.
What will relationship become when only one party gets the recieving end? Expectations and resentments will start hovering in the heads of those who give till they're so tired of doing it. But it's amazing that some people just continue doing that cos they still thought that's how relationship should go about.
Still ponders....
Though two a guy and a girl comes together with different agenda in their mind
Guys : Sex? Show off? Ego? Blah Blah...
Girls : Love? Care and concern? Security? Blah blah...
I believe that Love is truly something which breaks all, if not, most barriers.
Communication is one.
Doing is one.
Saying is one.
The most important of all in my opinion is enjoyment two person have when they do whatever they like.
Finally, to those people getting into relationship.
Consider carefully what person you're going into relationship with.
People change...though you may claim to know them well enough...
No body knows another person no matter how long. Simply you're not Him/Her!
Accept changes and move along.If you can't move on and don't get into another blindly(which many are practicing )
Thank to you who's reading this post.
And i apologise for making this post my longest written one
But no apologies to what my comments.
Though i may not have covered everything...but yup...this are my thoughts today.
To Guys: Stop being devils ArseOles! Stop breaking girl's heart and be a monk!!
To Girls: When a guy does a hundred things right....
one wrong will make the hundred fall like tumbling blocks. Sigh....
Haven's Thoughts
[/b]
Example would be guy wants career 1st while gal wanna settle down fast. Guy know what the gal wants but still gave the relationship a shot. In the end, quarrel and find that not compatible and stuff. Broke up and guy pour out sorrow that gal doesn't want to wait for him etc to his friends... so whose fault is it? The guy's? Or issit the gal who couldn't change or accomodate him? After all, love is almighty and is most important so why couldn't the gal wait for him? Is this what that's been happening to many people here?
Sorry if I'm OT... -
Your contribution is great! Thanks alotOriginally posted by Healin:Intriguing. Maybe the victim do so much that does not fall into their partners life. Like showing their partner with so much concern and love when what their partner actually need is some breathing space. How bout those who do observe their would be partners and then find some incompatibilities or different mindset of life, future etc. Would you have taken the step when you noe that the relationship is heading towards gloom? Not that its impossible to carry it on but maybe v difficult.
Example would be guy wants career 1st while gal wanna settle down fast. Guy know what the gal wants but still gave the relationship a shot. In the end, quarrel and find that not compatible and stuff. Broke up and guy pour out sorrow that gal doesn't want to wait for him etc to his friends... so whose fault is it? The guy's? Or issit the gal who couldn't change or accomodate him? After all, love is almighty and is most important so why couldn't the gal wait for him? Is this what that's been happening to many people here?
Sorry if I'm OT...
Yeah....the mindset between a guy and a girl is really very different.
But yet, sometimes Love can bring two world together.
Just recalled on the couple published on newspaper many years ago....the lady was 80 ++ and the man was in his mid twenties. They got married...
Love Love Love...who says it hurts? But neither do i say it doesn't...
It all depends on your responses...
Cheers -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm...
Wussup wif the two of you????Originally posted by Yunhaier:WoohOoo!!!!!
/me whistle whistle.
Contribute lah. Open shop leh...
Boost Activity leh...
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Cheering mah, nan de got people post thoughts so long other than me and a couple of others aroundOriginally posted by Haven:Wussup wif the two of you????
Contribute lah. Open shop leh...
Boost Activity leh...
My contribution? here lar! -
Nay... You guys go ahead... I'm quite a lazy bump....Originally posted by Haven:Wussup wif the two of you????
Contribute lah. Open shop leh...
Boost Activity leh...