Trashing thing out: confession of love after 3 years
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Recently, I wrote a letter to a gal which I have loved secretly for 3 years already telling her about my feeling. You see 3 years ago when I was about to tell her, she just found a bf, so I refrained from breaking this to her.
Hence I've been pretty moody and kept asking myself, "what if I had told her about my feeling? What could have happened then?".
In the end, a few days ago, I decided to end this guessing game and just wrote a letter to her explaining everything. I also stated that I'm not expecting anything from her now since we've almost lost touch for so long and she may already be engaged liaoz, but I'm just seeking an answer to a question that has been bothering me for years. Once I get the answer I'll move on with my life and leave her alone.
Well, it sure feels great to finally get it off my chest. Now I've just slotted the letter into the postal box and waiting for her reply. It could be a simple "yes" or "no" but it more than suffices.
I think I've finally done the correct thing to trash everything out and move on, instead of leaving it to fester longer and more years of agony for me. What do you think? Do you think I've done the right thing? Or is it totally uncalled for? -
damn... you've just succeeded in attempting to throw a lot of doubt between the couple.
personally, i think this is almost unreasonably selfish of you as it is NOT love you feel, but some kind of possessive obsession...
you are not trying to move on, are you? it is a conditional "moving on"... got "yes or no"... in a position where you don't even have a right to be... she's got a guy who is not you...
words like "potong jalan", trying to get her to "zhao sai" and worse things come to mind..
if a good and wonderful relationship between her and her guy falls apart because of you, have that on your head! you may have caused a lot of misery to 2 people...
you do not love her...
you only think you do.. -
confess of love thru letter is ok...bt y u so stone ...after 3 yrs....
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Just to to precise, I'm not asking her to accept me or anything. The question I asked her was: If I had told you my feeling 3 years ago, would you at that time had said "yes"?
She can either say "yes" or "no" and I'll still move on you see. I'm not forcing her to say anything I wish to hear. There's no "standard answer" expected. If she says "no", at least I can tell myself it doesn't matter if I did pose the question to her 3 years ago; we would not have ended up together in the end.
So I'm not asking anything from her *now*. Just needed some clarification in case I get condemned again. I just hate to see the issue dragged on w/o a definite answer on what could have happened. -
Whats done cannot be undone, anyway, its good to know the truth.
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good to get things off ur chest and end it once and for all
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tell us the result k..
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Originally posted by m.c.king:Recently, I wrote a letter to a gal which I have loved secretly for 3 years already telling her about my feeling. You see 3 years ago when I was about to tell her, she just found a bf, so I refrained from breaking this to her.
Hence I've been pretty moody and kept asking myself, "what if I had told her about my feeling? What could have happened then?".
In the end, a few days ago, I decided to end this guessing game and just wrote a letter to her explaining everything. I also stated that I'm not expecting anything from her now since we've almost lost touch for so long and she may already be engaged liaoz, but I'm just seeking an answer to a question that has been bothering me for years. Once I get the answer I'll move on with my life and leave her alone.
Well, it sure feels great to finally get it off my chest. Now I've just slotted the letter into the postal box and waiting for her reply. It could be a simple "yes" or "no" but it more than suffices.
I think I've finally done the correct thing to trash everything out and move on, instead of leaving it to fester longer and more years of agony for me. What do you think? Do you think I've done the right thing? Or is it totally uncalled for?
As long as your motive is clear and it is something you wished to years back - its ok dude, because I always feel if possible, you shouldn't bring regrets to your death. It's the right thing pal. 
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what if it was a "yes" and she starts to doubt herself?
ever think about that?Originally posted by m.c.king:Just to to precise, I'm not asking her to accept me or anything. The question I asked her was: If I had told you my feeling 3 years ago, would you at that time had said "yes"?
She can either say "yes" or "no" and I'll still move on you see. I'm not forcing her to say anything I wish to hear. There's no "standard answer" expected. If she says "no", at least I can tell myself it doesn't matter if I did pose the question to her 3 years ago; we would not have ended up together in the end.
So I'm not asking anything from her *now*. Just needed some clarification in case I get condemned again. I just hate to see the issue dragged on w/o a definite answer on what could have happened. -
There'll be a subconcious hope in you if she says 'Yes'
And You'll move one if she says 'No'
It's very simple.
I don't think you'll really move on if her reply is yes. The rest is all my spectculation. -
The worst thing has happened -- she has decided not to answer me at all. Problem is I do not even know she actually received my mail.
I sent her the letter and she did not reply to me either thru email, phone or mail. I sent her 2 SMSes asking her if she has received and read my mail and she never replied. I tried calling her once and she does not pick up my call. She seems to be avoiding me now and not offering me an answer.
I believe she has actually received my letter and is avoiding me. I assume her answer to be a "no". -
Originally posted by m.c.king:The worst thing has happened -- she has decided not to answer me at all. Problem is I do not even know she actually received my mail.
I sent her the letter and she did not reply to me either thru email, phone or mail. I sent her 2 SMSes asking her if she has received and read my mail and she never replied. I tried calling her once and she does not pick up my call. She seems to be avoiding me now and not offering me an answer.
I believe she has actually received my letter and is avoiding me. I assume her answer to be a "no". I think you can treat it as "No."
I hate people who don't reply when they are asked a question. -
Some things are better left unsaid....?Originally posted by Parka: I think you can treat it as "No."
I hate people who don't reply when they are asked a question. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Some things are better left unsaid....? Somethings better left unsaid are for people who don't have a habit of `hanging around`.
Some people want to heard just a simple answer. Just a simple answer. -
You've got the rights to ask, she've got the rights not to answer you... Since such is her intention, why force your way through and make things difficult for everybody...?Originally posted by m.c.king:The worst thing has happened -- she has decided not to answer me at all. Problem is I do not even know she actually received my mail.
I sent her the letter and she did not reply to me either thru email, phone or mail. I sent her 2 SMSes asking her if she has received and read my mail and she never replied. I tried calling her once and she does not pick up my call. She seems to be avoiding me now and not offering me an answer.
I believe she has actually received my letter and is avoiding me. I assume her answer to be a "no".
As much as your intention is without ill motive and straightforward as explained by yourself... You cannot spectacular the whole situation based on just what you want out of just a SIMPLE question.... The SIMPLE question MIGHT just means so much more for her... For her current attached bf...?
I wanted to tell you that some things are better left untouched... Especially if you're already without an intention.... You might just wanna 'ask'.... At this point, unless some miscommunication has cropped up, it's pretty obviously that she's not into your frame of thinking.... Life goes on for everybody... Sometimes what ya do just makes it harder for the others to move on... That's all? -
X2Originally posted by Parka: Somethings better left unsaid are for people who don't have a habit of `hanging around`.
Some people want to heard just a simple answer. Just a simple answer.
However, many a times, the opposite party doesn't know how to handle such situation and the easiest thing is probably to avoid. Years passed and people changed - not everyone would hold onto the past, especially things they don't really feel much for. The thing is that he has said what he wanted - I think a reply is a bonus, not essential.
Cheers -
u should have done it long agoOriginally posted by m.c.king:Recently, I wrote a letter to a gal which I have loved secretly for 3 years already telling her about my feeling. You see 3 years ago when I was about to tell her, she just found a bf, so I refrained from breaking this to her.
Hence I've been pretty moody and kept asking myself, "what if I had told her about my feeling? What could have happened then?".
In the end, a few days ago, I decided to end this guessing game and just wrote a letter to her explaining everything. I also stated that I'm not expecting anything from her now since we've almost lost touch for so long and she may already be engaged liaoz, but I'm just seeking an answer to a question that has been bothering me for years. Once I get the answer I'll move on with my life and leave her alone.
Well, it sure feels great to finally get it off my chest. Now I've just slotted the letter into the postal box and waiting for her reply. It could be a simple "yes" or "no" but it more than suffices.
I think I've finally done the correct thing to trash everything out and move on, instead of leaving it to fester longer and more years of agony for me. What do you think? Do you think I've done the right thing? Or is it totally uncalled for?
the answer is definitely a "NO" unless previously in the 1st 3 yrs, there had been sparks flying between u 2. if u dun feel such sparks/chemistry between the 2 of u, it's a hopeless case. even if there is, she might most probably forget it and definitely not feeling anything for u now. it'll be just memories or history for her.
guy u better move on, and move on fast. do not wait for a definite answer. high chance is that it'll not not come. u r 24 this yr already, and wasted 3yrs. how many more 3yrs u have left? -
o well...this scenerio sounds familiar to me tho...hmm...just last yr...a guy from church whom i had liked for 3 yrs...and din gave me any answer...and i was like give it up everything...den he suddenly called me...both of us were single when he suddenly broke the news to me dat he has been liking me for the same amt of time dat i liked him...and ionly said to him..."if 3 yrs ago u tell me dis...if out hesitaion...i wld even gif u my virginity...but u're too late now...ive oready given up hope on the both of us...."
until now...we still keep in touch tho...but only 1 mt h 1 sms...haha~~
Originally posted by m.c.king:Recently, I wrote a letter to a gal which I have loved secretly for 3 years already telling her about my feeling. You see 3 years ago when I was about to tell her, she just found a bf, so I refrained from breaking this to her.
Hence I've been pretty moody and kept asking myself, "what if I had told her about my feeling? What could have happened then?".
In the end, a few days ago, I decided to end this guessing game and just wrote a letter to her explaining everything. I also stated that I'm not expecting anything from her now since we've almost lost touch for so long and she may already be engaged liaoz, but I'm just seeking an answer to a question that has been bothering me for years. Once I get the answer I'll move on with my life and leave her alone.
Well, it sure feels great to finally get it off my chest. Now I've just slotted the letter into the postal box and waiting for her reply. It could be a simple "yes" or "no" but it more than suffices.
I think I've finally done the correct thing to trash everything out and move on, instead of leaving it to fester longer and more years of agony for me. What do you think? Do you think I've done the right thing? Or is it totally uncalled for? -
wastedOriginally posted by aHGer^83:o well...this scenerio sounds familiar to me tho...hmm...just last yr...a guy from church whom i had liked for 3 yrs...and din gave me any answer...and i was like give it up everything...den he suddenly called me...both of us were single when he suddenly broke the news to me dat he has been liking me for the same amt of time dat i liked him...and ionly said to him..."if 3 yrs ago u tell me dis...if out hesitaion...i wld even gif u my virginity...but u're too late now...ive oready given up hope on the both of us...."
until now...we still keep in touch tho...but only 1 mt h 1 sms...haha~~ 
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It was a misunderstanding; she was busy with her work when I SMS her. Then she called her just now during her lunch break, said she has received my letter and it was a surprise for her and she's attached now and we're still friends.
But now I'm actually feeling better; at least the issue has finally been resolved. Still she didn't tell me what she could have said 3 years ago but it is no longer important. The important thing is that I've told her about my feeling and it's time to move on.
Right now I'm not really thinking about how or when I can find my next "prey" or getting into some relationship. I got other things in life and I'm now comtemplating what to do in future. Maybe I wouldn't find another gal but that's OK for me; it has been wonderful for me to know her already.
And thanks for everyone here who have contributed your invaluable comments and advices when I'm feeling down and having problems with my life. And I would like to thank Bob Tasca for his book "U will b Satisfied" and quote, "It'll never happen if you sit back and wait for it; if you try to make it happen and fail at first, at least you'll be failing forward, and eventually, you'll win."