What happens when...
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... you can't seem to forget your horrible past?
About what happened before you met your current bf?
What should I do to get over things? -
when it is time, and when you think he's ready, share with him?
hopefully by then, you'll know if he's prepared to accept you as you are.. some aren't (personally, i think they're asshats but that's beside the point)...
honesty.. and when you have nothing to hide between partners.. is truly liberating.. no secrets, nothing to hide, nothing to prove, just totally relaxed with each other...
your past will be in your mind, but at least, it will not bother you as much as you know it does not bother him...
i wish you joy and serenity.. may you find both with him
Originally posted by Indulgence:... you can't seem to forget your horrible past?
About what happened before you met your current bf?
What should I do to get over things? -
I've talked to him about it. He knows. But not in details of cos.
But whenever we have sex, images of my past flashes in my mind.
This sucks. -
oh dear... i guess this may take some time..
just be good to each other?
time sometimes just takes the jagged edges off... however, if both of you are truly in love, sooner or later, it'll just fade and slowly become a distant memory...
it'll take time...
be patient yah?Originally posted by Indulgence:I've talked to him about it. He knows. But not in details of cos.
But whenever we have sex, images of my past flashes in my mind.
This sucks. -
I certainly hope so.
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you have a guy to love and love you right back...
beats the hell out of being alone and still in love... and after soul-searching, realising you'll never ever get over her and will always be in love with her...
we all have our own crosses to bear.. i pray your guy helps you bear yours.. it's much lighter when a load is sharedOriginally posted by Indulgence:I certainly hope so. -
I'm sorry that it's been rough for you. But really, isn't there anything you can do?Originally posted by the Bear:
you have a guy to love and love you right back...
beats the hell out of being alone and still in love... and after soul-searching, realising you'll never ever get over her and will always be in love with her...
we all have our own crosses to bear.. i pray your guy helps you bear yours.. it's much lighter when a load is shared
My guy is totally understanding, and he loves me for who I am, regardless of what my past was. And I'm really grateful for that. -
it's okay for me... i worry about her...
all i can do is to wait for her to feel comfortable enough to meet me or talk to me again... it's something we actually discussed before walking our separate paths...
circumstances caused us to part, not a lack of love...
sometimes, i wonder... i'm mentally tough... very very tough... and i find it hard going.. i worry about her...
i love her
i miss her
and one of the hardest parts is that i can't tell her that i do
so i pray for strength..
you've found your partner
you are blessed
and that you can offer support to another is also wonderful
love your guy and tell him often how much you do... because sometimes, even the toughest around need a little reassurance from their loved ones.. and when he feels loved by you, he'll love you right back many times over and you will too.. and it'll grow
joy, love and serenity to both of youOriginally posted by Indulgence:I'm sorry that it's been rough for you. But really, isn't there anything you can do?
My guy is totally understanding, and he loves me for who I am, regardless of what my past was. And I'm really grateful for that. -
y issit alwayz the ex bf pop up
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To get rid of e past, maybe u should let your BF know about your past...tell him how hurt u've been..what u have gone thru...If he loves u for what u are and accept u e way u are...after telling him all e past, he should understand u better and comfort u in whatever ways
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Yo, when its time to let go do let go, or else both parties will suffer. Love is something that needs chemistry. If the chemistry isn't right, its no use being together. I had experienced it before. I love this girl but when we are together, we felt uncomfortable as our chemistry isn't right. After break up, we tried being together again, but the results is still the same. Love is like a chemistry practical, when ya mix 2 solutions, It will either give results or will have no change. So better make a wise choice
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Thank you. *hugs*Originally posted by the Bear:it's okay for me... i worry about her...
all i can do is to wait for her to feel comfortable enough to meet me or talk to me again... it's something we actually discussed before walking our separate paths...
circumstances caused us to part, not a lack of love...
sometimes, i wonder... i'm mentally tough... very very tough... and i find it hard going.. i worry about her...
i love her
i miss her
and one of the hardest parts is that i can't tell her that i do
so i pray for strength..
you've found your partner
you are blessed
and that you can offer support to another is also wonderful
love your guy and tell him often how much you do... because sometimes, even the toughest around need a little reassurance from their loved ones.. and when he feels loved by you, he'll love you right back many times over and you will too.. and it'll grow
joy, love and serenity to both of you -
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Here are some links i hope will be useful
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/abuse/healing/index.htm
this one is about dealing with general trauma.
http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/2000/300_ptsd.html
Here's one about survivors of Sexual Abuse
http://www.campusblues.com/sexabu.shtml
This book is found on Amazon, a brief scan makes it seem relevant and i think Borders or Kinokuniya might help you to order it.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573440795/granmethesereadd/102-2318927-5535317
Here are some books to look out for:
http://open-mind.org/Books/Abuse2.htm
sometimes the hardest thing to do is talk about the incident with the person who you really love or family members. I'm sure he'll be there to listen if you really need him to hear you out.
Here's a book for the Guy: http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0921165382.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Maybe he could get it from the Library or something
It's a pity that counselling and self-help and group therapy is not as readily available in Singapore as it is in North America.
With the lack of resources and the ignorance and the plain refusal to admit there is a problem by the Singaporean Society, sometimes the only thing you can turn to is books.