should i be a nice guy?
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nice guys die early...
got this from somewhere....
Hmmmm...
You finally, for once in your life try being
Cocky & Funny with a girl - and she eats it up -
and then you ask if you should do it again?
Here are a couple of great formulas for you to
remember:
1) Cold Feet = Cold OTHER THINGS (Especially Below
The Waist)
2) The "Usual Nice Guy Routine" = See Formula #1
Let's talk about these ideas.
If you ever hear a woman say the words "He's
nice" you can pull out all the money you have on
you and betthat she's not ATTRACTED to the guy
she's talking about.
Women don't use the word "Nice" to describe men
that they're FEELING ATTRACTION for.
So why would you want to use the "usual nice
guy routine"? What, you want to make SURE she
NEVER feels anything other than friendship for
you?
Hmmmmm.
What you're telling me here is that you knew
this super-babe four years ago, but the "nice guy"
rap didn't make anything happen then... so you're
thinking that if you pour it on twice as thick it
might work better this time?
Hmmmmm.
Here's a good rule of thumb:
If your behavior isn't getting you the
consistent results that you'd like to get, CHANGE
IT.
Do ANYTHING different.
I'm serious here.
If what you're doing isn't working, DO
SOMETHING ELSE IMMEDIATELY!
And if you've FOUND SOMETHING that works, then
KEEP DOING IT!
(Hint: In case you haven't figured it out, I
think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay
outine-ray.)
And I don't think it's a coincidence that the
words "nice guy" translate into "ICE-NAY UY-GAY"
in Pig Latin.
Read that again, because it was pretty funny.
In summary, I think you might want to stick
with the Cocky & Funny personality. It's working
for more than a few guys out there, and it can
work for you (as you've seen).
On a side topic...
From the way I talk, you might start to get the
idea that I'm AGAINST being nice to women.
Quite the contrary, actually.
I think that it's GREAT to be nice to women.
Just make sure you do it in a way that doesn't
make her think of you as a "nice guy."
Oh, now THAT sounds interesting...
So the question is: How can I be nice without
making her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a
hundred dollars just to have one quick dig through
her dresser?
I just figured out how to say this in a simple,
concise way... so listen up:
BE COCKY AND FUNNY, AND BUST HER BALLS WITH
YOUR WORDS, BUT BE NICE TO HER WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR.
Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.
So here are a few examples of saying things
that are Cocky & Funny, but BEHAVING nicely:
1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom,
then open all doors for her.
2) Tell her that she's too uptight and she needs
to settle down because it's annoying, then rub her
shoulders.
3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then
kiss her.
Are you with me?
One of the concepts that I talk about in my
book "Double Your Dating" is ALWAYS SEND MIXED
MESSAGES.
Why would you want to send mixed messages?
Because it's interesting.
Because if it's done right, it's attractive.
Because attractive women are fascinated by it
when it's mixed with a Cocky & Funny personlity.
And most importantly, because it works like
MAGIC.
Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss
up to them, buy them things, take them out, and
act "nice".
Attractive women are looking for something
different.
A challenge.
A spark.
a sassy, cheeky, mouthy, ballsy, witty,
charming. An unpredictable, funny guy like
yourself to take her attention... and then RUN
with it.
Now, how unpredictable is "nice"?
How much of a challenge is "nice"?
How much of a spark is in "nice"?
Good questions.
Answer: Not much.
So, in summary: Be nice... but do it on your
own terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY &
FUNNY COMMUNICATION.
This magical combination with keep her interest
for as long as you'd like to have it.
Remember, attractive women are different. They
know that they can have anything they want. SO
DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM... and they'll love you.
Does this sound "couter-intuitive" to you?
Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.
If you're reading this right now, and you'd
like to learn some of my best-kept secrets and
techniques for being successful with the REALLY
attractive women, then I'd recommend that you
download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your
Dating."
It's taken me YEARS to learn, refine, test, and
perfect all of the techniques that you'll learn
in just a few hours of reading.
Inside I'll teach you all the things I do
personally in real-world situations to meet
women... and and how to use them yourself to make
attractive women feel ATTRACTED to YOU. -
the author who wrote that book is a very powerful don juan
err anyway don tell me u bought the "system " ??
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Just BE YOURSELF.... Being someone you're NOT probably ain't gonna get you far....
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read my 2 post below -
Why Not "Just Be Yourself"
by Allen Thompson
Every day I'm emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read the 200+ new posts in the Don Juan Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.
I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!
Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.
If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the Hall of Fame.
Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.
Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.
One - JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.
It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married -- it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't think of anything else to say... but doesn't want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.
Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.
But they have to say something, right? And besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?
As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug.
But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.
What about that?
At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer - "You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you."
Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."
Be yourself. Patience. Faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.
I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!
What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?
Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to Take Charge and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.
This would be useful advice!
But then we'd run into another problem.
You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him. -
A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.
You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you want to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.
Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.
Yet, get this, when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.
Or their friends may even think the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.
The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.
These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date), etc.
In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.
Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at the site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.
Are you actually going to take advice from these people?
Why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?
Because they're lazy !!
Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.
Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.
Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there must be something else I can do."?
I don't think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.
What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating? You tell me.
They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.
And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.
20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our Test and Find Out
Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World
You see women have been studying "us" since they were old enough to read. When we're out burning ants, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."
They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.
We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?
Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?
I think not. In fact, I think being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.
And that's why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.
Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.
And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!
Allen Thompson -
thanks for your advice moderator
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Why not? Noe da virtues of being a nice guy... Da personal fulfilment of being nice, da gradual development into a BETTER man by being nice. So wat if at times U get cheated? As long as U have good reasons to help, regardless of da consequences & is NOT against yr conscious, y not?
Even if being nice "die" early, noe dis: U have acheived much virtues in dis lifetime & dats satisfying enuf. -
I admit that the author of the article have some of his points and facts 'right'... To a certain extent, depending on how you define 'right'... A 'Don Juan' takes practice and self-improvement, no doubt about it... But to the extreme it's just plain BUAYAISM... I'm no saying that being a buaya or flirt is a totally bad thing...? If it's done with much art and self-control the result could probably be a Don Juan... No doubt about it....Originally posted by Starmaster85:thanks for your advice moderator
But through my 'in's & 'out's of relationships for the past of my life... Self-improvement... My earlier life style was very much like what the author has suggested... Perhaps in my younger days I could have told you the same things... And as life goes on you'll learn that 'control' is important.... Cultivating yourself to be a Don Juan you'll have to learn to control yourself so that you don't turn out to be a complete as[/i]shole.... Sad to say, some guys nowadays are so proud of themselves that they're already an as[/i]shole though they're no Don Juan....
I also realised that different girls go for different kinda guys... Some prefers the more quiet type... Others prefer a sporty guy... As you learn to be more 'proficient' with the girls, you'll realise that in order for you to impress them, you have to have so many contradicting characteristics...? That itself is a headache enough.... As the days go by you'll start to question yourself... WHO you are...? What are the things you're doing...? Is that yourself...? There's really no Mr Perfect in this world... The BELIEF in so is just a DELUSION.... Being someone you're not...? Does it hold much of a meaning...? Yes... No doubt you'll get much plenty of the girls you wanna be with at the end of things, but LOSING YOURSELF in exchange for that...? Is that too high a price? And what are you aiming for..? With the girls starting to pour in to you.. Can you RESIST the temptation? If you resist, does it defeat the purpose of what you've been 'practising' in the 1st place? Don't tell me you WANT THEM ALL? Do you think you understand the consequence of that DECISION? If you don't, what you want? You can't even easily have a gf or wife now... You're SO DON JUAN.... Can your partner TRUST you? Headaches? Well... They're usually things we've created for ourselves... Put us back to the question of....
CONTROL....? Can you control yourself? Do you think you know yourself? DO you know what you want from Life? Do you still want yourself...? -
Oh.. Another thing? I think the author has a little 'misinterpretation' of people's meaning...? When people tell you to 'just be yourself', it doesn't mean sitting around the bench and doing nothing about it... You still can improve on yourself... But just be truthful about it... In relationships and such if you just emphasize on the 'skills', everything would become VERY SUPERFICIAL... When people ask you to be 'nature' or relax when you go for interviews, doesn't mean you start digging your nose in front of your interviewer or rest your leg on his / her table...?Originally posted by Starmaster85:the author who wrote that book is a very powerful don juan
err anyway don tell me u bought the "system " ??
Just improve yourself enough for a girl to appreciate you for who you are...? I bet you certainly would want a girl to appreciate you because you're who you are and NOT just because you're a Don Juan? Tell you, the latter is quite a SAD story....
About the author.... Hmm.... Ok... Let's drop the subject...? < " -
i think he not refering you this kind of people , but imho , i think u misunderstood wat he meant , he is actually telling us to improve ourself and not act like one , he say act can also get you some where but not far becoz sooner or later you will be back to your own habit , so he actually trying to tell us to change a better guy . i don think there's nothing wrong even if u got a wife and still alot girls look you up , at least your wife will know your not someone who isnt attractive , and maybe she will treat you better coz she know she got competition , always look on the bright side of lifeOriginally posted by Devil1976:I admit that the author of the article have some of his points and facts 'right'... To a certain extent, depending on how you define 'right'... A 'Don Juan' takes practice and self-improvement, no doubt about it... But to the extreme it's just plain BUAYAISM... I'm no saying that being a buaya or flirt is a totally bad thing...? If it's done with much art and self-control the result could probably be a Don Juan... No doubt about it....
But through my 'in's & 'out's of relationships for the past of my life... Self-improvement... My earlier life style was very much like what the author has suggested... Perhaps in my younger days I could have told you the same things... And as life goes on you'll learn that 'control' is important.... Cultivating yourself to be a Don Juan you'll have to learn to control yourself so that you don't turn out to be a complete as[/i]shole.... Sad to say, some guys nowadays are so proud of themselves that they're already an as[/i]shole though they're no Don Juan....
I also realised that different girls go for different kinda guys... Some prefers the more quiet type... Others prefer a sporty guy... As you learn to be more 'proficient' with the girls, you'll realise that in order for you to impress them, you have to have so many contradicting characteristics...? That itself is a headache enough.... As the days go by you'll start to question yourself... WHO you are...? What are the things you're doing...? Is that yourself...? There's really no Mr Perfect in this world... The BELIEF in so is just a DELUSION.... Being someone you're not...? Does it hold much of a meaning...? Yes... No doubt you'll get much plenty of the girls you wanna be with at the end of things, but LOSING YOURSELF in exchange for that...? Is that too high a price? And what are you aiming for..? With the girls starting to pour in to you.. Can you RESIST the temptation? If you resist, does it defeat the purpose of what you've been 'practising' in the 1st place? Don't tell me you WANT THEM ALL? Do you think you understand the consequence of that DECISION? If you don't, what you want? You can't even easily have a gf or wife now... You're SO DON JUAN.... Can your partner TRUST you? Headaches? Well... They're usually things we've created for ourselves... Put us back to the question of....
CONTROL....? Can you control yourself? Do you think you know yourself? DO you know what you want from Life? Do you still want yourself...? -
Personally, I don't like the style of the author critising about people who suggest 'just be yourself'.... Though as much as you mentioned that the author has got his point (and I somehow agreed earlier that some points he made are VALID), that doesn't mean what others said is like the way he THOUGHT they should be CRITICISED or DEMERIT...
1st MISTAKE he made, he himself MISINTERPRETED what the majority means when they said 'just be yourself' as an advice... Though many people who give 'just be yourself' as advice may not fully comprehense the meaning of it themselves, but somehow they just know that it's there...? Shouldn't BASED his presumptions on what kinda people they ARE based on his own LIMITED mentality..
There're definitely MORE than meets the eyes... And SINCE it's HIS MISTAKE in the 1st place, I simply think he's ARROGANT and in fact making a laughing stock out of the way he phrase things... No doubt he has some facts in his articles, but he could have simply read it or seen it from somewhere else (just my presumption, not necessarily true...).... Trying to belittle others based on his own STUPIDITY? A FAR STRETCH to LEARN... But I'm normally a rather LAZY guy... But I hate people to idolised an ARROGANT IDIOT.... It makes you move BACKWARDS, not FORWARD... And make people go BLINDLY... (Guess where the terrorists come from...? 
)
Just because he THINKS that he has FIGURED out something, DOESN'T mean he has figured out EVERYTHING.... PATHETIC... Should try shaking his head vigorously before use and yup... Before writing an article like that....Originally posted by Starmaster85:
i think he not refering you this kind of people , but imho , i think u misunderstood wat he meant , he is actually telling us to improve ourself and not act like one , he say act can also get you some where but not far becoz sooner or later you will be back to your own habit , so he actually trying to tell us to change a better guy .
Nope.. I got his point... I just DON'T LIKE his OTHER POINTS... Especially when he's NOT EVEN midstroke to where he THINKS he's standing... LORD... Have PITY on this CHILD....?
i don think there's nothing wrong even if u got a wife and still alot girls look you up , at least your wife will know your not someone who isnt attractive , and maybe she will treat you better coz she know she got competition , always look on the bright side of life
You see... That's what you think...? What you think DOESN'T EQUAL to what your WIFE think...? I believe you're not attached? If you are, you're either quite young or just a 'happy go lucky' type of guy...? Having such a form of mentality would POISON you sooner or later when you have to touch on BGRs and MARRIAGE....
GOOD LUCK? -
Cocky and Funny?
That term rings a bell
Anyway, Aunt Agony has lots of guys with AFCish behavior, maybe this thread may do them some good
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Originally posted by coquette:Cocky and Funny?
That term rings a bell
Anyway, Aunt Agony has lots of guys with AFCish behavior, maybe this thread may do them some good
AFC? -
Average Fustrated Chump
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BULLSHIT! Being someone your not wil get you to the ger! Like me, i had this ger once, she wanted someone who was quite and nerdy and not so outgoing. SO if i was myself, the usual outgoing paigeah, she ofcourse would not let me hum her right? SO i bring book wherever i go, dun go beat up ppl so often as before, i actually act guai for her, then I got her in the end wad, haha so bullshit to whoever said being someone your not wont ghet u far.
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You mentioned 'had'...? So what actually happened...?Originally posted by chaar123:BULLSHIT! Being someone your not wil get you to the ger! Like me, i had this ger once, she wanted someone who was quite and nerdy and not so outgoing. SO if i was myself, the usual outgoing paigeah, she ofcourse would not let me hum her right? SO i bring book wherever i go, dun go beat up ppl so often as before, i actually act guai for her, then I got her in the end wad, haha so bullshit to whoever said being someone your not wont ghet u far.