What if your man doesn't want a baby?
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Girls, here's the scenario and I need opinions.
You've been with your bf for quite some time, you've planned your future together, 5 years down the road and all.
And he hates/detests babies and even planned a vasectomy.
What would you do?
1) Learn to hate babies too
2) Tell him there isn't a point in continuing the relationship
3) Try to change his mindset (which is gonna be difficult)
4) Break up straight away -
Just before I asked myself what to do with him, I will first need to know if he's truly the one for myself?
I don't know what caused him to hate/detest babies. But definitely those words are too strong. Probably he don't like the idea of waking up in the wee hours tending to their cries and having to feed them. But then again, have you tried asking him for his reasons for not wanting kids? I think both of you need to sit down and really talk abt it, heart to heart.
At the end of the day, it's you going through the 9 months, not him. For goodness sake, how old is he? His mentality is damn screwed up...
Do you like kids? I'm sure it's every woman's wish to carry the child of her beloved husband.
What abt you?
How long exactly have you guys been?Originally posted by Indulgence:Girls, here's the scenario and I need opinions.
You've been with your bf for quite some time, you've planned your future together, 5 years down the road and all.
And he hates/detests babies and even planned a vasectomy.
What would you do?
1) Learn to hate babies too
2) Tell him there isn't a point in continuing the relationship
3) Try to change his mindset (which is gonna be difficult)
4) Break up straight away -
Originally posted by ^cereal^:Just before I asked myself what to do with him, I will first need to know if he's truly the one for myself? Yes, I think so. He's made so much plans for us and all that.
I don't know what caused him to hate/detest babies. But definitely those words are too strong. Probably he don't like the idea of waking up in the wee hours tending to their cries and having to feed them. But then again, have you tried asking him for his reasons for not wanting kids? I think both of you need to sit down and really talk abt it, heart to heart.
At the end of the day, it's you going through the 9 months, not him. For goodness sake, how old is he? His mentality is damn screwed up... He's about 30.
Do you like kids? I'm sure it's every woman's wish to carry the child of her beloved husband. What abt you? I love kids so much!
How long exactly have you guys been? A year odd -
well my best buddy doesnt like kid as well..hence he told me he will end his generation...apparently his wife said its ok, but since he's my buddy, i know his wife wan one.......
as for me, i also like my buddy..
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I can make a lot of plans, but as long as I don't execute the plans, it's still nothing at the end of the day, just P.L.A.N.S.
Just becoz he planned alot for both of you, don't mean he'll be the right one at the end of the day. I hope you get what I mean. No offence intended. Just plain fact of the day.
He's 30 and the word is hates/detests babies. Babies will grow to become kids and blah blah blah. Are you saying he totally don't want to have kids? But why? Did he tell you the reason? Something must have happened during his earlier years to have triggered this decision.
You guys have been together for only abt 1 yr... how old are you?
Seriously, I think you guys need to have a heart to heart talk. Seems to me, you don't quite know him well enough to talk abt the future... That's how I see the picture, anyway just my 2 cents worth. -
There is only one thing is you do and have to do - influence, change and compromise.Originally posted by Indulgence:Girls, here's the scenario and I need opinions.
You've been with your bf for quite some time, you've planned your future together, 5 years down the road and all.
And he hates/detests babies and even planned a vasectomy.
What would you do?
1) Learn to hate babies too
2) Tell him there isn't a point in continuing the relationship
3) Try to change his mindset (which is gonna be difficult)
4) Break up straight away
This is a tricky issue, ok but first, let take a look marriage on fundemental level. Marriage is between two, for ill or for good, both sticking to each other and growing from it spiritually, emotionally and physically. Love is often in the picture (though not neccessary) and probably a willing and planned thing (again, not neccessary).
Since marriage is between two - having kids or not is not exactly neccessary PROVIDED if both couples have the same mentality. If this preception/viewpoint is clashed - something has to be worked out.
Having kids is great element into the marriage - it brings growth and development to the marriage as well as happiness (though not neccessary, but a child reasonably brought up (personal definition), every parent would feel gald and satisfied.
I suspect there could be other reasons on why he doesn't want kids. Seek and slowly advance into his inner world - you people are only the first year of your relationship. Take your time and concern to understand why is this happening.
Personal experience? Childhood psychology past? External factors? When you have a better picture of this: probably you can repost you question and we can do a better analysis over this.
P.S (Negative scenario): If there is absolutely nothing that is affecting him over a long course of trying to seek the root of the problem. Either he doesn't want to tell OR he could hold weak faith in the relationship. (Family/immediate family influence?) because having kids is a burden IF things like divorce, etc were to take place. But I wouldn't guess things here and complicate your thinking. Take care lady. Repost once you have a better picture yourself too. Remember take time to know his heart and inner thoughts.
Cheers -
He doesn't like sharing things. And that would include his money too.
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Originally posted by Indulgence:He doesn't like sharing things. And that would include his money too.
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err...wat u mean??...next time if u n him marry, u both will be 50-50??..Originally posted by Indulgence:He doesn't like sharing things. And that would include his money too.
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Most probably.Originally posted by Inzaghi:err...wat u mean??...next time if u n him marry, u both will be 50-50??.. -
So what does everyone think?
Which option would you go for? -
i think i can understand his plight , singapore are a country where money counts , rasing child = waste money and since he don like to share things he most probably don like children . , well still you can try hard to make yourself ..... , ya you got wat i mean , but pick the right time where u two are financially stable, i don think he will be cruel enough to abort it after it's been done ...
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huh???!Originally posted by Indulgence:Most probably. -
frankly speaking, i think a marriage will be better when there is children... after a period of newly wed's life...a baby will bring joy and bond the family together... I cant imagine how great it is to have your own flesh and blood and seeing it grow up
