Need some pointers from you guys and gals.......
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Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon -
it simply means she dosen have a boyfren yet don want you to know , something very negative , she want to keep you interested in her yet keep you at bay when she dosen want to go out with you alone , it means she not really interested in you , ...becareful she might have hidden motive.Originally posted by BrenBren:Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon -
she has a BF but is looking.
she's not terribly sure about you.
what did you ask her out to?
if you have a plan that might work.
for example a concert is coming up, tell her about the concert and that you'd like to take her there -
Let's see, you said her character is outgoing yet she's not willing to go out on a date with you alone? Doesn't sound outgoing to me.
Anyway, let's assume that the girl is really shy and requires company. How do you persuade her to go on a date with you? Easy, you gotta have a sweet tougue.
Alright, maybe that takes time and requires some skill. What I would suggest is to take things slow. Let her get to know you better. When she's comfortable being with you, getting her out for a date alone won't be a problem. Just make sure you don't let her know too much about yourself, gotta maintain a tint of mysteriousness. (StarMaster85 would know what I'm getting at here) 
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Your nick seemed familiar to me, but anyway welcome back?Originally posted by BrenBren:Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon
The thing is seek for an opportunity to go out with her on a 1 v 1 date - HOWEVER (and this is a big however), before you could do that, she MUST probably feel comfortable with you (unless she is interested in you, which is not in this case).
How can she feel comfortable with you? Your first step would be in speech - she must be able to speak to you without stress and conversation with you should ideally be interesting and on-going. After achieving it - you could then attempt and try to ask her out on a 1 v 1 date.
By then you could employ some strategy in asking her out. (Need to look for a present for your mother/best female friend/etc and need some lady's advice in getting the appropriate gift kinda stuff? ) Only attempt when you know that she is comfortable with you already - and probably made good friends. Keep this friendship's flame burning through occasional phone calls, emails, sms, etc (do in moderation. Do it too much its very turn off) - with some luck and skill, you would be a higher level closer to your goals.
Cheers -
Her impression of you is not really good so she doesnt feel safe going out with you alone on a date. I assume she doesnt know you well too and you dont know her as well. Girls usually are a bit defensive to guys whom they are not close to. I suggest you get to know her more and let her know you more some other ways making her feel comfortable talking and going out with you.
This is a boundary only for her trusted friends, you are not there yet. Gain her trust and you will take one step forward and into her boundary -
If you're really interesting in her, it's important that you keep correspondance between you and her ACTIVE... In e-mails, phone calls, whatever ways which is convenient for the both of you and which she's comfortable with... But DON'T overdo it.... It might IRRITATES her, and IF it does... It'll simply spell GAME OVER....Originally posted by BrenBren:Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon
While doing the above (WELL....) can bring you to get to know each other better... It might even increase the chances of her agreeing on a 1 on 1 date with you... And if not, at least it should make her feel more comfortable when you're both out together...
Regarding your meeting up with her... You can TRY the 4 Pointers....
1. Simple outing. Make your outing SIMPLE and SHORT. Like just a lunch or dinner... You might not be able to get everybody to come (see pointer 2), but at least it's a START... Some of them in the group might rush off for other things while you can suggest something or a programme for those who can stay back (and hopefully it'll include her..?)... (also see Pointer 3) The MAIN thing about this point is that when the outing is SIMPLE and SHORTER, the chances of turn up would usually increase relatively if the main reason for the people to come is just simply meeting up....
2. Partial Attendance. Have you organise outings or gatherings before? Usually it's quite often that you can't get a big group of people to turn up on the same date and at the same time... And a few of them last minute simply can't make it.... As described in your post, many simply can't make it... If you can't get EVERYBODY, get SOME of them.... It's still a gathering? Ask her out on that... During the meet up, just explain why 'who & who' can't make it etc.... It's common....
3. Partition of a day's programme... If you wanna make it a long hours gathering but the group can't afford the kinda time, DIVIDE out the programme... (refer to Point 1) Like if Mr 'X' says he can't make it... Suggest he just join the group for lunch or dinner... Explanation to the group would then be... "Oh.. He can only join us for lunch and got to rush off later..." or... "Oh... He'll only be joining us for dinner later..." You still can wish that the girl would be there throughout (if she's really interested in you and she's not occupied with other things...)....
4. Take it as a 'yes'? It's quite often that people can't confirm their attendance at some gatherings... Take it as a 'yes' from them 1st and encourage them to come... Any last minute changes there'll be no obligations... At least you'll still manage to get your girl out there...?
Well... That's all the pointers for now... Good luck to you but please understand that some things cannot be forced...? Just take things naturally...? And seems like you should not rush for this girl... So take your time and also seize appropriate opportunties...?
Oh ya... And regarding your questioning her about her bf...? I think you should just take her answer as she wants you to find out for yourself...? It could be a hint that she want you to more PASSIVE in your moves for her... Do things for her during outings and show her the appropriate attention, she should appreciate that if she's giving you a chance...
I wish you luck? -
Whoa this girl damn irritating and hard to pls siah! whoa lao, all my gfs are nice and cool lians, simple, want to go out, yes or no, where and when ger, dat is the way u know? I say you drop her lar and go fish for other fish in the sea full of fish!
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wooooaahhhhhh.....im learning a lot myself just by reading this thread man.....Originally posted by BrenBren:Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon
my 2 cents worth: she playing hard to get? that's all..... -
From a gal's point of view....
looks are deceiving... how do you consider if one is outgoing? *Becoz she goes out all the time?* 
To put things simply, when she said she dont mind going out with u provided it's not a single date, it means one of these:
1) She's worried either you or her have/has no self control and decides to do things on impulse.
2) She wants to go out, but she don't quite enjoy your companion and wish for more people to join in, in case both of you got no topic to talk abt and things become awkward.
3) She hopes thru the grp outing, she can have a better opportunity to cast her net and thus know the rest better and make a better choice from among the rest of the guys.
4) She likes another guy from the grp and knows that you'll include him, but she's shy to approach him, thus asking you to do the liasing.
If I'm you, I'll tell her not to play mind games. By telling you things like 'It's for me to know, for you to find out' She probably has someone outside, yet waiting for a potential candidate to come by so that she can make her selection. She has got the upper hand. She knows how to keep you in suspense so that you are unable to make a sound decision. She wants attention, thus if she indeed has a bf and tells you abt it, she know she'll lose you.
I just want to caution you, she may not be the girl she appeared to be, look harder and you'll see clearly. Don't be blinded by what you see superficially. Take time to discover for yourself what type of gal she is.
cheerzOriginally posted by BrenBren:Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist. She has this innocent and gal-next-door look but her char is very outgoing. So i try to ask her her out. Although she agree to go out with me but request that we dun go out alone but with those friends we make during our job. So i think is fair as she might not feel comfotable going out alone with me so fast. So i tryt o make the arrangement but somehow the other guys always got things on or their free time always crash with the others. Thus until now, we had not successfully gone out once.
Thus, my question is what should i do so that i can go out with her even though the others cannot make it for the outing? I understand that somethimes girls like to find out more about the guys that want to tackle them through group outing. This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you.
And one last question. When i ask her if she had a boyfriend, she answer, " it is more me to find out and for her to know". So what does she implies?
Anyway, I thanks you peole in advance for helping me. Thank you so much.
Brendon -
Originally posted by ^cereal^:
makes a lot of sense....seriously
From a gal's point of view.... looks are deceiving... how do you consider if one is outgoing? *Becoz she goes out all the time?*
To put things simply, when she said she dont mind going out with u provided it's not a single date, it means one of these:
[b]1) She's worried either you or her have/has no self control and decides to do things on impulse.
2) She wants to go out, but she don't quite enjoy your companion and wish for more people to join in, in case both of you got no topic to talk abt and things become awkward.
3) She hopes thru the grp outing, she can have a better opportunity to cast her net and thus know the rest better and make a better choice from among the rest of the guys.
4) She likes another guy from the grp and knows that you'll include him, but she's shy to approach him, thus asking you to do the liasing.
If I'm you, I'll tell her not to play mind games. By telling you things like 'It's for me to know, for you to find out' She probably has someone outside, yet waiting for a potential candidate to come by so that she can make her selection. She has got the upper hand. She knows how to keep you in suspense so that you are unable to make a sound decision. She wants attention, thus if she indeed has a bf and tells you abt it, she know she'll lose you.
I just want to caution you, she may not be the girl she appeared to be, look harder and you'll see clearly. Don't be blinded by what you see superficially. Take time to discover for yourself what type of gal she is.
cheerz
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man... asian girls , esp singaporean girls are kinda troublesome , worry so much , think so much and its only a first date thing. Why cant it be easygoing? maybe its the way the govt brought us up eh? think and think of all the possible scenarios, think until so hard to go out. sheesh
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its our culture.....guess some girls are more outgoing than others...thats variety for uOriginally posted by Ben-i:man... asian girls , esp singaporean girls are kinda troublesome , worry so much , think so much and its only a first date thing. Why cant it be easygoing? maybe its the way the govt brought us up eh? think and think of all the possible scenarios, think until so hard to go out. sheesh
us guys too aren't exactly innocent too brother! -
[quote]Originally posted by BrenBren:
[b]Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist.
This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you. [quote]
You old enough to be reservist yet you never dated gals before....Unbelievable...What you been doing all these years? -
She wants you to find out la
ask her out again and probe slowly -
Good questions. I am rather shy guys by nature.I always shy away from gals all this while.Thus until now, i had not gone out on a date with a gal before. But i kinda of like this gal and i think i am not young already, so should not continue to be like that anymore.Originally posted by Doenitz:[quote]Originally posted by BrenBren:
[b]Hello everyone. It has been quite a long time ever since the last ime i log in. How is everyone? Hope things had been going well for you people.
Well, I actually had a question which i need some pointers from you people.
I had came to know this gal from a temp job which i got before i went for my reservist.
This is my first time dating girl so i'm quite inexperience when come to dating techquine. Please pardon me if my questions annoy you. [quote]
You old enough to be reservist yet you never dated gals before....Unbelievable...What you been doing all these years? -
Guys and Gals,
Thanks for all your advices. Actually, i had just found out something during the past one week which roughly let me what she is thinking...or should i say what i think she is thinking.
I just found out that she had gone out alone with another guy in the group to shop for shoes.
So i guess ^cereal^ point 4 in her reply is the same as my guess.
But anything lah....Just feeling confused. so ask you all to help clear my doubts only.
Thank you again..everyone. -
stay happy broOriginally posted by BrenBren:Guys and Gals,
Thanks for all your advices. Actually, i had just found out something during the past one week which roughly let me what she is thinking...or should i say what i think she is thinking.
I just found out that she had gone out alone with another guy in the group to shop for shoes.
So i guess ^cereal^ point 4 in her reply is the same as my guess.
But anything lah....Just feeling confused. so ask you all to help clear my doubts only.
Thank you again..everyone.