Help me!
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There this guy i love a lot.. he has done a lot of thing to hurt me before in the past.. but what to do i really love him.
A lot of thing he done is quite impossible to be forgiven & all.. but i did. I know myself that i cant possible live with such person in future..i mean i know ppl do change... but leopard nv change it spots. i really cannot let go..maybe i am afraid of being alone again.. despite for all the things he have done there is also time when he is very nice to me.. i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me..i can be quite nasty at times..
Should i start everything afresh with him or jus give it up. Please,can anyone tell me what to do i dun wanna bring all this unhappy things to school.. term going to start soon. Conflicts does help.. but mine has last me for quite sometimes! i cannot take it for long.... thanks all forum mates -
why not just give that fellow a chance?
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Yalor... give him a chance... how i wish i have this chance...
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this is the 3rd times things happen between us
we patch and break up for 3 times already -
Oooo... but do u really really love him still??Originally posted by lushpies:this is the 3rd times things happen between us
we patch and break up for 3 times already -
well..give tt fellow a chance..u nv noe.. "a second passed is history..there are no turning back for tt very second..treasure wat u hv..lose it and regret it.."
well..bcoz of this motto..i manage to be wif my bf for 6 years..he's my 1st bf..in the past..he did lots of awful things to me..on and off..on and off..peers keep telling me to give up..but nope..nv..i gave him a chance..and it prove tt i really made the correct choice..keke..
well..u nv noes wat lies ahead..think it carefully..we may give u suggestions.but u're the one who made the decision..only u..yrself noe whether u sure be wif him or not..
well..no matter wat..concentrate on yr studies..balance it well wif yr family..peers..studies (or work)..dun stress yrself..relax a bit..take care..
cheers..~ -
Can you allow him to hurt you again? If the 4th time comes running where you guys have to break off becoz you cannot tolerate his nonsentical behaviours, will you go back to him again? If your answers are positive to the above, I think you've already gotten the answer yourself.
Since you said he hurt you many times and you also forgave him that many times, but then you can't quite live with such a person in the future, so why do you sound so desperate for his companion? If you're saying you are with him now becoz you are afraid of being lonely, then what I reckon from your post is that you're waiting for another guy to appear before you'll tell this guy of yours goodbye.
It takes 2 hands to clap, much as he's done things to hurt you, are you too doing it to him, which makes him feel that it's right of him to do whatever to you coz ultimately there's a quote goes saying 'DO what you want on others and let others do whatever on you.'
You seems quite young to me, you're no more than 20yrs old?Originally posted by lushpies:
There this guy i love a lot.. he [b]has done a lot of thing to hurt me before in the past.. but what to do i really love him.
A lot of thing he done is quite impossible to be forgiven & all.. but i did. I know myself that i cant possible live with such person in future..i mean i know ppl do change... but leopard nv change it spots. i really cannot let go..maybe i am afraid of being alone again.. despite for all the things he have done there is also time when he is very nice to me.. i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me..i can be quite nasty at times..
Should i start everything afresh with him or jus give it up. Please,can anyone tell me what to do i dun wanna bring all this unhappy things to school.. term going to start soon. Conflicts does help.. but mine has last me for quite sometimes! i cannot take it for long.... thanks all forum mates[/b] -
Thanks angel.. i think u must have love him a lot.. he is also my first boyfriend thats why i treasure & love him so much.. just like u.. i have give him a lot of chances hoping that he will changed as i am really truthful to him & all.. but i think 3 times is a bit too much.. i wanna to let go but i jus cannot. He is a nice guy.. but he want more.. having me is not enough throughout the years we broke up is always becoz there is 3rd party or other reasonOriginally posted by Angel^_^:well..give tt fellow a chance..u nv noe.. "a second passed is history..there are no turning back for tt very second..treasure wat u hv..lose it and regret it.."
well..bcoz of this motto..i manage to be wif my bf for 6 years..he's my 1st bf..in the past..he did lots of awful things to me..on and off..on and off..peers keep telling me to give up..but nope..nv..i gave him a chance..and it prove tt i really made the correct choice..keke..
well..u nv noes wat lies ahead..think it carefully..we may give u suggestions.but u're the one who made the decision..only u..yrself noe whether u sure be wif him or not..
well..no matter wat..concentrate on yr studies..balance it well wif yr family..peers..studies (or work)..dun stress yrself..relax a bit..take care..
cheers..~
thanks cereal too
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hi lushpies, you must be in lots of misery and feeling very lonely.. i can't say that i can empathise with you.. it must be very hurting to be mistreated so many times..
it's a great thing that you were able to forgive him for the things he had done.. no many ppl can forgive.. and you can never forgive someone too many times.. what i'm trying to say is that u can still choose to forgive him for the things he had done to you and let go..
however, forgiving him and giving him a chance are two seperate issues
if you indeed choose to give the relationship another chance, don't go into it thinking that he will change.. like you mentioned, a leopard never changes its spots.. in the same way, a person's character doesn't change so easily.. accept for what he is, if you cannot.. then it's better to move on..
that said, i wish you well in finding happiness.. contentment is the path to it -
How about we meet up for coffee, forget the guy, you afraid of being alone... well lots of things have happened in the world, like ME.
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Is this a cold joke??Originally posted by chaar123:How about we meet up for coffee, forget the guy, you afraid of being alone... well lots of things have happened in the world, like ME.
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i've pm u..hope u'll feel better..Originally posted by lushpies:Thanks angel.. i think u must have love him a lot.. he is also my first boyfriend thats why i treasure & love him so much.. just like u.. i have give him a lot of chances hoping that he will changed as i am really truthful to him & all.. but i think 3 times is a bit too much.. i wanna to let go but i jus cannot. He is a nice guy.. but he want more.. having me is not enough throughout the years we broke up is always becoz there is 3rd party or other reason
thanks cereal too 
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take things easy...... maybe you two shuld cool down andOriginally posted by lushpies:Thanks angel.. i think u must have love him a lot.. he is also my first boyfriend thats why i treasure & love him so much.. just like u.. i have give him a lot of chances hoping that he will changed as i am really truthful to him & all.. but i think 3 times is a bit too much.. i wanna to let go but i jus cannot. He is a nice guy.. but he want more.. having me is not enough throughout the years we broke up is always becoz there is 3rd party or other reason
thanks cereal too
discuss your current situation
if he really luv you, he'll change....
may this be the last time you're giving him the chance
i would luv a second chance... but i ain't given
now i've regreted wad i've done -
Dear lushpies,Originally posted by lushpies:There this guy i love a lot.. he has done a lot of thing to hurt me before in the past.. but what to do i really love him.
A lot of thing he done is quite impossible to be forgiven & all.. but i did. I know myself that i cant possible live with such person in future..i mean i know ppl do change... but leopard nv change it spots. i really cannot let go..maybe i am afraid of being alone again.. despite for all the things he have done there is also time when he is very nice to me.. i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me..i can be quite nasty at times..
Should i start everything afresh with him or jus give it up. Please,can anyone tell me what to do i dun wanna bring all this unhappy things to school.. term going to start soon. Conflicts does help.. but mine has last me for quite sometimes! i cannot take it for long.... thanks all forum mates
The silly side of Love is tolerence beyond a given amount and throwing in reasons like love too much - in fact from the above statement, this guy is probably your first love (you mentioned it to be) or the kind of guy (must be very different or karmic relationship)which you never felt so appreciated before.
Quote: Woman, in their first love, loved their lover. In all others, they loved love.
From the above quote and your own quote: i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me... He is taking advantage of your weakness and your inability to leave him. Firstly: He is your first love - HOW are you so sure nobody would ever treat you better than him. You fear to be single. You fear to move on life alone - your tendency and wanting to be dependent on someone is very strong. Its your first love - once you experienced it, you can't survive the way you always did when you were single - this isn't love girl.
Break 3 times and patched back same number of times as well? The issue is about a 3rd party? Girl - if three times is not enough to realise the real him, let me kindly explain in words to you.
The reason why he would come back to you after patching is because your bf cannot get her (or last with her due to external factors (character, some traits, no chemistry, etc). Think about this: if he would fall for a girl and created a problem because of that - that's how shallow you are in his heart.
IF THIS GIRL IS DARN GOOD AND HE COULD GET HER AND LAST WITH HER - do you think you will still be with him?
Its all the matter of time - either you will be ditched eventually or he changed totally.
Give chances? Many forum mates asked for chances. My point is - how many chances does he needs to learn, to respect his own relationship and his gf - THREE NOT ENOUGH? - I feel its over the limit. Its not about giving chances - its about what he do with those chances. Blown it or thrown it?
P.S: Always give a first chance - anymore similiar situation, hack it.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Dear lushpies,
The silly side of Love is tolerence beyond a given amount and throwing in reasons like love too much - in fact from the above statement, this guy is probably your first love (you mentioned it to be) or the kind of guy (must be very different or karmic relationship)which you never felt so appreciated before. Quote: Woman, in their first love, loved their lover. In all others, they loved love.
From the above quote and your own quote: [b]i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me... He is taking advantage of your weakness and your inability to leave him. Firstly: He is your first love - HOW are you so sure nobody would ever treat you better than him. You fear to be single. You fear to move on life alone - your tendency and wanting to be dependent on someone is very strong. Its your first love - once you experienced it, you can't survive the way you always did when you were single - this isn't love girl.
Break 3 times and patched back same number of times as well? The issue is about a 3rd party? Girl - if three times is not enough to realise the real him, let me kindly explain in words to you.
The reason why he would come back to you after patching is because your bf cannot get her (or last with her due to external factors (character, some traits, no chemistry, etc). Think about this: if he would fall for a girl and created a problem because of that - that's how shallow you are in his heart.
IF THIS GIRL IS DARN GOOD AND HE COULD GET HER AND LAST WITH HER - do you think you will still be with him?
Its all the matter of time - either you will be ditched eventually or he changed totally.
Give chances? Many forum mates asked for chances. My point is - how many chances does he needs to learn, to respect his own relationship and his gf - THREE NOT ENOUGH? - I feel its over the limit. Its not about giving chances - its about what he do with those chances. Blown it or thrown it?
P.S: Always give a first chance - anymore similiar situation, hack it.
Cheers [/b]
nice work. Ah Squall takes down notes. -
wake up and forget him already.
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She's looking for like-minded opinions.
When gals post in the forum, often asking for solutions, in real time, they already have the answers themselves and only wanted to hear the opinion of others, probably seeking for situations similar to themselves and console themselves that they're not alone - 'let's all get stuck in the situation coz many people are in and they survived!~'
When guys post in the forum, it's when they really needs help and thru suggestions, they find a solution to their problems.
For lushpies, all I can say is, the answers are all in her head. She knows exactly what she wants to do.
To AA forum mates, one way to help is by presenting a broader picture - that is a subjective view on the issue, not objective view.
Hard advice falls on deaf ears...
*/exits*Originally posted by lushpies:Thanks angel.. i think u must have love him a lot.. he is also my first boyfriend thats why i treasure & love him so much.. just like u.. i have give him a lot of chances hoping that he will changed as i am really truthful to him & all.. but i think 3 times is a bit too much.. i wanna to let go but i jus cannot. He is a nice guy.. but he want more.. having me is not enough throughout the years we broke up is always becoz there is 3rd party or other reason
thanks cereal too -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
thanks a lot... i mean i am just really upset and cannot believe almost of 2 years being together he treat still me this way... i mean even if he really play with my feelings why must it be so long... what wrong have i done to him to make him do all this... why man are so wicked.... does he really love me before... i really cant get over it... i feel so lost.
Dear lushpies,
The silly side of Love is tolerence beyond a given amount and throwing in reasons like love too much - in fact from the above statement, this guy is probably your first love (you mentioned it to be) or the kind of guy (must be very different or karmic relationship)which you never felt so appreciated before. Quote: Woman, in their first love, loved their lover. In all others, they loved love.
From the above quote and your own quote: [b]i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me... He is taking advantage of your weakness and your inability to leave him. Firstly: He is your first love - HOW are you so sure nobody would ever treat you better than him. You fear to be single. You fear to move on life alone - your tendency and wanting to be dependent on someone is very strong. Its your first love - once you experienced it, you can't survive the way you always did when you were single - this isn't love girl.
Break 3 times and patched back same number of times as well? The issue is about a 3rd party? Girl - if three times is not enough to realise the real him, let me kindly explain in words to you.
The reason why he would come back to you after patching is because your bf cannot get her (or last with her due to external factors (character, some traits, no chemistry, etc). Think about this: if he would fall for a girl and created a problem because of that - that's how shallow you are in his heart.
IF THIS GIRL IS DARN GOOD AND HE COULD GET HER AND LAST WITH HER - do you think you will still be with him?
Its all the matter of time - either you will be ditched eventually or he changed totally.
Give chances? Many forum mates asked for chances. My point is - how many chances does he needs to learn, to respect his own relationship and his gf - THREE NOT ENOUGH? - I feel its over the limit. Its not about giving chances - its about what he do with those chances. Blown it or thrown it?
P.S: Always give a first chance - anymore similiar situation, hack it.
Cheers [/b] -
2 years and you still can't believe it? (Avoiding the whole issue ain't you? You realise this point about him long ago - you don't wish to pursue, don't wish to trash things, continue this way even after 5 years, I bet you still couldn't believe itOriginally posted by lushpies:thanks a lot... i mean i am just really upset and cannot believe almost of 2 years being together he treat still me this way... i mean even if he really play with my feelings why must it be so long... what wrong have i done to him to make him do all this... why man are so wicked.... does he really love me before... i really cant get over it... i feel so lost. ) Oh well, I don't blame you because its your first love. I am very sure after this relationship (if it ever vanish for good) - the next relationship you going to have, I pray that you would be more experienced to undercover guys who ain't going to give you much bliss and happiness in the long run (if long term is what you seek).
Missy: its not about playing - its about love maturity. The differences in preception and love definition will eventually spark conflict in your relationship. Again - love maturity has little to do with your chronological age. (you can have adults acting like kids in love). He is not going to settle down with a gf and be contented with it - but you are. That's is the difference.
What have you probably learn or realise?
You confusion stems from the fact that this is your first relationship -nobody is born knowing how to love. You now realise how fragil a relationship is when the other party isn't very forthcoming with his effort in making the love blossom.
You also discovered that breaking and patching will eventually cause stress and tension in your life. The relationship will probably dies off from it as well. The real way you should handle a problem is to solve the roots together - IF a mutual decision is made to break off the relationship - vow never to patch again. If patching lingers at the back of your head - THEN DON'T BREAK IN THE FIRST PLACE.
P.S: No one can make us stay in a bad relationship, but overselves - 2nd Law of Love.
Cheers -
Why ah Squall? ff8 craze?Originally posted by M?square: nice work. Ah Squall takes down notes. 
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Hi lushpies
tell yrself and ask yr heart,is he worth u giving him another chance,heart is always the most truthful 1...Being with him nw as a boyfriend and being with him forever even in future as husband n wife is totally different.you might be able to tolerate him now, but hw about when u all stay together,are u sure u can tolerate and is no turing back liao..
A few months ago, i get to know a couple(i named it A(guy) and b(gal),who the situation is something like yours,B keeping compaining here n there that A is a flirt n always go ard knowing gals and even kisses with them,she break off with him then in a few wks time patch back with him again as A ask for another chance,but in the end after a few mths they broke off again..This break n patch process have repeated ard 3-4 times..
Now A feell veri remourseful and sorry and ask for B for forgiveness and say that he will not do it again and about the kissing n flirting ard with gals is all not true and he only llove B,but in the end B totally broke off with him as shr think that A cannot n will not change at all,even for a while but not for long the changes.In the starting when she reaLy broke off all conatcts with him,she feel so sad n hurt,but in the end she also found a new bf in a few weeks time.
The best solution they say n did not do that might help in this relationship is ,sit and really have a heart to heart chat with each other,telling each other what each other want,so at least u all know what each other 1..then rather assuming which might be wrong...
Hope is not too nagging,,,sorry...but lushpie be happy and go on with yr life..FOLLOW YR HEART -
erm erm erm patch n break up 3 times....Y like thatOriginally posted by lushpies:this is the 3rd times things happen between us
we patch and break up for 3 times already -
haha oh noooo i am freezeing ...lolzOriginally posted by KrU:Is this a cold joke?? -
BEFORE I BEGIN. Your search for answers and suggestions in this forum is VERY SUBJECTIVE. Only little is known and revealed of your situation. You should NOT take the words as advised here too wholeheartedly but see things in concept to your situation by YOURSELF as you're the REAL person in your own shoes now. Regards. With that, I shall CONTINUE....Originally posted by lushpies:There this guy i love a lot.. he has done a lot of thing to hurt me before in the past.. but what to do i really love him.
A lot of thing he done is quite impossible to be forgiven & all.. but i did. I know myself that i cant possible live with such person in future..i mean i know ppl do change... but leopard nv change it spots. i really cannot let go..maybe i am afraid of being alone again.. despite for all the things he have done there is also time when he is very nice to me.. i can say that he is the only guy who treat me so well before.. as in really give way to me & pamper me..i can be quite nasty at times..
Should i start everything afresh with him or jus give it up. Please,can anyone tell me what to do i dun wanna bring all this unhappy things to school.. term going to start soon. Conflicts does help.. but mine has last me for quite sometimes! i cannot take it for long.... thanks all forum mates
It's always EASIER to FAULTS in others than yourself. BUT you're not totally blind. And I believe that you're pretty much AWARE of what I'm talking about. I wonder who initiated the break offs? Was that you? And WHY the patch back again...? PROBABLY because you KNOW your 'Maths' pretty well...? Patch backs don't happen for no reasons..? 2 of the most common reasons would be... 1. One is BLINDED by LOVE. 2. The WORTH is there. Sometimes it can also be a mixture of the two. But won't go into much details here as there're really TOO MANY possibilities to be looked into.
Do you THINK you're BLIND or he is? I think you probably know your facts pretty well...? The WAR of the HEART only begins as a TORMENT because of the UNKNOWN future. For every future is ALMOST ALWAYS an UNKNOWN and a GAMBLE. LOVE is no exception. In every relationship there're probably some reasons to FEAR... You're NOT the ONLY one.
To carry on with this relationship or not I'm in NO POSITION to judge. It all depends on what you WANT from this relationship? Are you willing to take the CHANCE (with the pain)? All I wanna tell you for now is DON'T be afraid to be hurt my dear... For in Life there're ALWAYS PAIN and CHANCES of EXPERIENCING it... That DOESN'T mean you should stop living altogether? Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you should just go ahead for whatever too... YOUR LIFE... You DECIDE okay? I can offer to give you AN ANALYSIS if you want to. It'll provide you with some INSIGHTS but NOT the ABSOLUTES... The ABSOLUTES are partly rested in your hands and partly with 'fate'?
And another WEIRD suggestion by me? Have you ever thought of printing out or writing down what you're typed out in what I've quoted and showing it to your bf....?
~good luck girl.... -
Dear ppl... thanks for all ur advices.. i think i have thought it through..
I dun think i deserve such man too... to treat me like dirt!
If he really love me he wouldnt even treat me this way and hurt me.. would u do this to ur love ones?
I am sure i make the right choice... i am young ..i got lotsa time and choices... thanks everyone who advice me.. sometimes i jus feel sad when i am alone.. i will think of him and look at our pic.. and jus cant help but to msg him... but he nv once did reply my msg...
Anyway thanks
i will move on... no worries
I love sgforumates hee