help..

• denztler_80

  1 Jul 03, 13:06

  hi ppl.. i'm having sum problems wif my bf..we've been 2gether 4 ard 2 yrs..recently, we tend 2 argue over minor matters..and i tend 2 get angry more easily..i juz can't take control of my anger..
  i feel tat he's really patient enuff to endure my nonsense attitude..sumtimes, i really hate myself 4 treating him tat way..i can say tat he treated me much more better than da way i treat him..
  sumtimes,after an arguement, i told myself to change 4 da better..i did it..but as time goes by, i start to take advantage of his goodness again..sigh..why am i like tat...
  i juz knoe tat if 1 day, he's gonna really leave me 4 another better ger..i will really regret...
  i hate myself..its not fair to him.....
• curad

  1 Jul 03, 13:14

  indeed,u r very unfair to him...ppl have their ups n dwns aso...put yrself in his shoes b4 u vent yr anger again...try 2 tok 2 him telling him 2 give u time 2 change,n ask him 2 help u...it's really not worth breaking up over a small matter..u will regret it...yr honeymoon is over,so try 2 control yr temper...if not in no time,he will lose his temper aso..n when he lose his temper,u will think tt y he can give in 2 u last time but not now.......etc....n yr temper is as bad,then u will have a big quarrel...is it worth it?change yrself if u really love him 2 much 2 let him go...
• denztler_80

  1 Jul 03, 13:21

  yah..i agree wif u..in da end, there's no one 2 blame except myself..my love 4 him is like on and off weak and strong..
  sumtimes i ask myself..is he da one..
  i told myself 2 b faithful..and i did it..i'm not da type tat flirt ard..
  
• curad

  1 Jul 03, 13:24

  Originally posted by denztler_80:

  yah..i agree wif u..in da end, there's no one 2 blame except myself..my love 4 him is like on and off weak and strong..
  sumtimes i ask myself..is he da one..
  i told myself 2 b faithful..and i did it..i'm not da type tat flirt ard..
  

  though u r not the flirty type,u've hurt him deeply by treating him unfairly.....u noe y is yr love on n off weak n strong?n when u feel weak
• denztler_80

  1 Jul 03, 13:29

  sigh..i oso dunno y will bcome lek tiz..but i can't sae i dun love him..
• echandra

  1 Jul 03, 13:30

  many times in live, we often take the person we love 4 granted... thinking that no matter wat, they will always b there..... ur bf is one who is more of the quiet type.... appreciate him. tell him that u love him for all that he's done 4 u... dun wait till he's gone only then u realise wat u have... i'm sure he will treat u the same way....
• curad

  1 Jul 03, 13:32

  Originally posted by denztler_80:

  sigh..i oso dunno y will bcome lek tiz..but i can't sae i dun love him..

  have u ever really tot abt whether is he the one for u anot???dun juz coz u in a bad mood,then ur love 4 him is weak.how old r u n how old is he
• sillyme

  1 Jul 03, 13:49

  hi.. arguments happens in a relationship.. what is more important is what happens after that? do you go on making the same mistakes? or either of you sincerely change for the better?
  
  you know you have a bad temper.. don't just procrastinate, do something about it
• Yunhaier

  1 Jul 03, 14:32

  Originally posted by denztler_80:

  hi ppl.. i'm having sum problems wif my bf..we've been 2gether 4 ard 2 yrs..recently, we tend 2 argue over minor matters..and i tend 2 get angry more easily..i juz can't take control of my anger..
  i feel tat he's really patient enuff to endure my nonsense attitude..sumtimes, i really hate myself 4 treating him tat way..i can say tat he treated me much more better than da way i treat him..
  sumtimes,after an arguement, i told myself to change 4 da better..i did it..but as time goes by, i start to take advantage of his goodness again..sigh..why am i like tat...
  i juz knoe tat if 1 day, he's gonna really leave me 4 another better ger..i will really regret...
  i hate myself..its not fair to him.....

  Dear denztler_80,
  
  This is probably a call for something to be done and not just a thought of improving and nothing done practically. You love your bf no doubt and as far as this post is concerned, I presume he does love you too, equally. The factors involved that made you took advantage of him are:
  
  I) This relationship has gone for 2 years already - at risk of a routine relationship. A routine relationship (& probably kinda not much problem since the beginning of your love) is always at risk to such mundane issues.
  
  II) It probably exist in your character (if you have ex - reflect and think whether such attitude exist when you are with them.) In such cases if your relationship has serious problem earlier on - that's the reason why you didn't show this aspect of your personality. When things calm down - the real self will gradually surface.
  
  In CloUdiSm remix III - we are, but the mirror of our partners. You dislike the fact that you took advantage of him is because you won't like it if he does it to you. Your rational mind scream this warning to you and if things doesn't improve, you could lose him. You knew it - but subconsciously, princess attitude keep coming back.
  
  What must you do?
  
  There is two ways you will improve and change. At this rate you are going probably is the first way - when he leaves you, you panic and would do anything to get him back. This drastic behavior may show the declining stage of the relationship even if he may come back to you.
  
  Second issue which is the better alternative: to improve gradually when time passed. The key is NOT to expect yourself to change overnight, rather to improve steadily on this negative personality and seek growth.
  
  I) Always apologise, IF it was your fault. Never blow at him because you are having bad mood. There is no excuse for that either.
  
  II) When you know you are going to rant at him over small matters - STOP speaking for 10 seconds and just look at him. The art of cooling down will not only calm you down, think rationally and save unwanted minor problem in your relationship
  
  III) Always whisper/talk sweet things to him or do something (write) to inform him about HOW appreciative you feel for his tolerence on you. Its ok to have conflict - but never sniff out his hope on you.
  
  IV) When problem comes by and you 'performed' badly - reflect and think back on whether if there another alternative you could handle it. VOW to NEVER react the same way when similiar situation comes.
  
  P.S: Probably if you heed this little 4 rules - things will gradually get better. Before you walk a mile, you must start with your first step.
  
  Cheers
• denztler_80

  1 Jul 03, 17:15

  thanks so much 4 da support and comments ppl..i reali appreciate ur help..esp. Yunhaier..ur words reali hit me hard in my head..
  frm now on, i will try to do sumthing abt it..and not 2 let him leave me 4 another better ger..i want to prove 2 him tat i'm da one 4 him~~reali thanks 4 da comments~~
• Yunhaier

  1 Jul 03, 17:49

  Originally posted by denztler_80:

  thanks so much 4 da support and comments ppl..i reali appreciate ur help..esp. Yunhaier..ur words reali hit me hard in my head..
  frm now on, i will try to do sumthing abt it..and not 2 let him leave me 4 another better ger..i want to prove 2 him tat i'm da one 4 him~~reali thanks 4 da comments~~

  Welcome missy.