A KNOT.
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FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, I RARELY WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS AND SOCIATE, GETTING INTO DEPRESSION.
NOW 2 YEARS HAVE PAST, IM IN HIGHER EDUCATION. BUT HAVING LOST MY SOCIALIZING SKILLS, I CANT MAKE ANY FRIENDS THAT I CAN OPEN MY HEART TO, ALTHOUGH I DO SPEAK TO MY MATES. BUT SOON I WILL RUN OUT OF TOPICS.
WHAT CAN I DO? -
why are u typing in CAPS? hmm... anyway, I believe that if you are sincere in being frens wif whoever, that whooever will surely sense your sincerity and reciprocate that frenship...
juz from personal experiences, i feel that if I "run out of topics" wif my fren, it juz means i dun clique with that person. Eventually, it is very difficult to maintain a close friendship with that person. Really, that is the case. And, if you meet someone who is similar to you, has similar interests, i guess it is easier for you and that person to talk non-stop everyday abt anything under the sky.
Are you picky abt ur frens?
Confiding ur problems to others is a very good way to make that person closer to you; it also lets others noe u better..
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out of topics? need to be so serious meh? just talk anything ,lor....
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i forgot to tell u, dun be depressed anymore.. pick yourself up..
Just like it takes time to find the right gal/guy for urself, it takes time too to find the true fren. it is ok if ur frens are "superficial frens" now... as in hi-bye frens.... juz look ahead. Your true fren may be there..... -
i agree that being sincere is really important. Altho' it's about you making friends, perhaps it's more than that. I mean if you are trying to make friends just because you are lonely, you may not really care for them. Can i suggest that you be interested about them, ask what they are doing in their spare time, find out if you have any common hobbies. If not, you may want to join them in what they are doing. It helps to have common interest, wont find yourself running out of topics...
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OF COURSE IM SINCERE. IT IS JUST THAT I CAN'T EXPRESS IT INTO ACTIONS. THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE WAY. EVERYTIME WHEN I TOOK THE INITIATIVE TO TALK, AND AFTER A FEW MOMENTS, I RUN OUT OF TOPICS. AND QUIET DOWN.
TIMES AFTER TIMES, MY MATES SEES ME AS A QUIET PERSON AND DOESN TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO TALK TO ME. -
talk about anything !! go out with them more often, know them better to find topics, at least u know which side to target from
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heh i also have the same problem as you
until now i still dont know how to resolve it
but sometimes action speaks more than words ^-^ -
i remember....u r the one who rape a girl in NUS???? ...........
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I think ur frenz also must be sincere also in the first place as it takes 2 hands to clap... I always start by telling personal sercets to them and let them have a feeling of trust i've in them... them everything will flow naturely... -
men iv, i haf the same prob as you.. i have socialize very very well with some frens, but im juz uncomfortable wif others.. i cant explain why, but its like dat..
i believe u haven found some1 whom u can be comfortable wif.. juz keep lookin.. -
..hmm... go out to meet more frens..
BUT 1st...and MOST importantly..
i think ur CAPS key ish spoiled..
get a new keyboard
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hey, din mean to suggest that you were not sincere. Was trying to say that when we try too hard at something, it may backfire... it's important to relax and just be yourself.
Common topics will be good. If not, maybe read up some stuff, unusual and share it with ppl? You may also consider just listening in when they are talking and just sharing when appropriate.
Talk about yourself, perhaps starting with some light stuff so they wont feel that they know too much too soon about you... it takes time to develop.
Are you better on the phone? or try ICQ-ing or IRC-ing them?
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Anyone have any roughly ideas of topics that can help me kick-start? -
agree....talk anything that comesOriginally posted by NeonTetra:out of topics? need to be so serious meh? just talk anything ,lor.... -
u sure so serious meh..2 years only...also not say u`re those.. from jail come out 10 years or 15 years..i dont think its that bad la..just see n listen what people talk then u join in the conversation lor..thats what i normally do also.
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lolzOriginally posted by zeth_april: ..hmm... go out to meet more frens..
BUT 1st...and MOST importantly..
i think ur CAPS key ish spoiled..
get a new keyboard -
someone gonna post n tell u that u are lazy in finding frend say u take things for granted all these.. mad rite..
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lol
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you need to learn to be yourself. true friends accept you for the way you are.Originally posted by MEN lV:FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, I RARELY WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS AND SOCIATE, GETTING INTO DEPRESSION.
NOW 2 YEARS HAVE PAST, IM IN HIGHER EDUCATION. BUT HAVING LOST MY SOCIALIZING SKILLS, I CANT MAKE ANY FRIENDS THAT I CAN OPEN MY HEART TO, ALTHOUGH I DO SPEAK TO MY MATES. BUT SOON I WILL RUN OUT OF TOPICS.
WHAT CAN I DO? -
IT IS NOT THAT IM ANTISOCIAL, I WANT TO CHAT, BUT MY MIND IS IN A BLANK. I CAN'T THINK OF ANY TOPICS! AND I JUST SIT THERE QUIET AND WATCH THEM TALK. I WANT TO JOIN THEM IN THE CONVO BUT I CANT THINK OF HOW I CAN JOIN IN.
TIME PASSES BY, AND GOSSIPS FOLLOWED.
SOME SAY IM LIKE A IDIOT, ANTISOCIAL, MENTAL PROBLEM.
SAY ANYONE KNOW OF ANY SOCIAL HELP?
IM IN DIRE STRAITS. -
Do not doubt yourself ya. maybe you are too used to reading stuff that you've not been with ppl for too long. For example, many young people are so used to MSN and IRC or ICQ that they get tongue-tight when they speak to someone face to face.Originally posted by MEN lV:SAY ANYONE KNOW OF ANY SOCIAL HELP?
IM IN DIRE STRAITS.
How can you gain some confidence. You wanna talk to a counsellor?? -
I WANNA BE A HAPPY AND FRIENDLY PERSON, BUT PYSCHICALLY AND MOTIONLY I CAN'T DO IT. MAYBE THE DEPRESSION REALLY PUT ME OUT.
BEFORE THE DEPRESSION, I HAVE 6-7 VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I WAS ALWAYS THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION. BUT NOW IM JUST A MERE SHADOW OF MY FORMER SHELF.
ANYONE KNOWS ANY SOCIAL HELP HOTLINES? -
no cap lock
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What u need my fren is break that barrier manz.... U keep thinking that youre the person that no one really cares abt, no one talks to...etc. maybe u should go to some chat sites or sth. That way maybe u can practice... If u screw up, just change your nick...hehehe!
