Can Yunhaier and all help me out ? I met a ger to tell ....
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Hi to Yunhaier and all,
I need help from u all and I really need advice. Yesterday, I pop a question to the ger I had known n being together for abt 4 mths. I told her that I like her alot since this while and I wanted to know her feelings. I wanted to know whether do I stand a chance to have a relationship with her.
She was very surprised, esp with the bouquet of tulips I gave her before I present my question. She pondered and told me that she was mentally not prepared for another relationship as her last 1 was abt 4 1/2 mths ago. She said she was hurt by that relationship and she never thought of going to a relationship that soon. She said she wanted to be very committed and sure before entering a relationship.
She said she need more time to understand each other as she feel that she was still not ready. She told me that she did not reject me and She really need more time to know me and be more prepared. She said that she was a very frank person "If I dislike you, i won't be going out dates with you all this times" She told me she had good feelings about me (Ambiguous ?) and she said I was a guy that treat her the best...
So I wanted to know, do I still pursue her as usual to show my sincererity that I really do not give up based on just 1 setback... or do I on intention, don't call her or contact her for a week or so to test her feelings .... or do I just forsake her and move on with Life ??
BTW, I really do like her and I do not because just her looks or just in need of a companion, do I "ask" her.
So, I hope Yunhaier and all do help me to ansewr my doubts.
Advance thanks to all kind folks in here. -
hi peacetoall, peace to you
your problem is not a problem. to keep it short. she did not reject you. all she need time to recover from her broken relationship. she's being fair to herself and being fair to you.
so be patient. let her know the real you. she needs time to start to trust another person. as long as you are sincere, something wonderful will blossom.
good luck! -
don't give up loh.
if it's time she wants, you can give her time.
If she gives you a cold shoulder, then that's a different story already...... -
yunhaier is famous now!!!! lol...
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dun give up... but continue with a twist...Originally posted by PeaceToAll:Hi to Yunhaier and all,
I need help from u all and I really need advice. Yesterday, I pop a question to the ger I had known n being together for abt 4 mths. I told her that I like her alot since this while and I wanted to know her feelings. I wanted to know whether do I stand a chance to have a relationship with her.
She was very surprised, esp with the bouquet of tulips I gave her before I present my question. She pondered and told me that she was mentally not prepared for another relationship as her last 1 was abt 4 1/2 mths ago. She said she was hurt by that relationship and she never thought of going to a relationship that soon. She said she wanted to be very committed and sure before entering a relationship.
She said she need more time to understand each other as she feel that she was still not ready. She told me that she did not reject me and She really need more time to know me and be more prepared. She said that she was a very frank person "If I dislike you, i won't be going out dates with you all this times" She told me she had good feelings about me (Ambiguous ?) and she said I was a guy that treat her the best...
So I wanted to know, do I still pursue her as usual to show my sincererity that I really do not give up based on just 1 setback... or do I on intention, don't call her or contact her for a week or so to test her feelings .... or do I just forsake her and move on with Life ??
BTW, I really do like her and I do not because just her looks or just in need of a companion, do I "ask" her.
So, I hope Yunhaier and all do help me to ansewr my doubts.
Advance thanks to all kind folks in here.
i believe u should employ' Absence makes the heart grow fonder'
& ' Be unpredictable'
These 2 methods can be linked.
Let me explained... alwaz when u want to chase a girl, u have to think in her shoes. Alwaz do that, dun crash head on, declaring ur love like Romeo & Juliet. Be in her shoes, n ask yourself 'What's In It For Me' WIIFM
U said she was pretty hurt by a relationship in the past.... well ok, so she's abit unsteady.. so u can't actually employ ' Absence makes the heart grow fonder' method so fast... u would juz fade from her life cause she doesn't have a really strong feeling for u... U have juz got to be with her.. like her close fren/ally/buddy etc. Then this is the tricky part... u gotta know when she really starts to want u, then u can test her by ignoring her abit here n there n see her reaction. U gotta make her feel challenged to be able to have u. All girls like abit of excitement n fun. Being totally sincere is boring. But u have to be careful n know when not to overdo it! So u think u can handle it? Being unpredictable helps in the sense that she may find u exciting to be with cause she can't alwaz calculate/predict/anticipate what u are going to do... but again u ahve to be careful cause overdoing it and she may think u are a fake...
All the best... -
Why worry? Put your mind at ease - you won & crossed the battlefield. The only thing left is the fortress yet to be taken.Originally posted by PeaceToAll:Hi to Yunhaier and all,
I need help from u all and I really need advice. Yesterday, I pop a question to the ger I had known n being together for abt 4 mths. I told her that I like her alot since this while and I wanted to know her feelings. I wanted to know whether do I stand a chance to have a relationship with her.
She was very surprised, esp with the bouquet of tulips I gave her before I present my question. She pondered and told me that she was mentally not prepared for another relationship as her last 1 was abt 4 1/2 mths ago. She said she was hurt by that relationship and she never thought of going to a relationship that soon. She said she wanted to be very committed and sure before entering a relationship.
She said she need more time to understand each other as she feel that she was still not ready. She told me that she did not reject me and She really need more time to know me and be more prepared. She said that she was a very frank person "If I dislike you, i won't be going out dates with you all this times" She told me she had good feelings about me (Ambiguous ?) and she said I was a guy that treat her the best...
So I wanted to know, do I still pursue her as usual to show my sincererity that I really do not give up based on just 1 setback... or do I on intention, don't call her or contact her for a week or so to test her feelings .... or do I just forsake her and move on with Life ??
BTW, I really do like her and I do not because just her looks or just in need of a companion, do I "ask" her.
So, I hope Yunhaier and all do help me to ansewr my doubts.
Advance thanks to all kind folks in here.
What she is doing is rationally handling the matters of her heart. She suffered a fall in relationship recently, of course, she would venture with care and cautious towards the next one. She didn't accept you, because of this fear. Now, you made known to her, you make her acknowledge about this fear - she has to calulate whether it is beneficial for her, emotionally & spiritually to enter into a relationship with you.
The LAST THING you ever want to do is to stop and retreat. It is highly anti-seductive and wouldn't get you anywhere. This is NOT a rejection - this is heart-to-heart communicating and telling you indirectly that she is giving you a chance to prove yourself. Screw it up, that's it. Many a times when we give up halfway, in the end we realise how close we are to success. (Remember this)
One simple note to leave with you: Since you have express yourself already, the next worst thing you can attempt is acting strange/funny/unusual than your normal self - This is also highly anti-seductive. The spell has to be maintain - you have to advance steadily and remain yourself! Behave as if nothing was said and continue your goodwill when it comes to her. Sincerely will eventually break all locks and barrier.
In simple: She is giving you a period of time to prove yourself. If you can show that you are so comfortable with her, whether you express or not - its half battle won. The outcome of the battle would be depend on your methods to chase her - the conquest of the fortress within.
Cheers -
Originally posted by MetalGear:yunhaier is famous now!!!! lol...
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!!! of cos continue wooing la.. i sure not more den 1 mth she is urs
.. she is so damn interested in u.. work harder! -
gogogo we support u... never give up !
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now u really become the aunt in the agony liao or maybe uncle?? hahaOriginally posted by Yunhaier: 
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Hi to all esp Yunhaier,
really thanks for all the guidance ...
I had received a SMS from her this afternoon telling me Good Luck in my test this evening. I was so heartened and touched as I really believed that she still cares for me ...
After I read thru all this postings, I now have a very positive ideal of What I should do. You all shed lights on me, enabling me to see that I must continue to strive for my Happiness.
Thanks to all once again, and I will never wavered my determination to have a chance to give all the Love and Happiness to her. -
congrats brotherOriginally posted by PeaceToAll:Hi to all esp Yunhaier,
really thanks for all the guidance ...
I had received a SMS from her this afternoon telling me Good Luck in my test this evening. I was so heartened and touched as I really believed that she still cares for me ...
After I read thru all this postings, I now have a very positive ideal of What I should do. You all shed lights on me, enabling me to see that I must continue to strive for my Happiness.
Thanks to all once again, and I will never wavered my determination to have a chance to give all the Love and Happiness to her. -
dude, give her her time to heal, be her friend
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Originally posted by sh|nY_BoY:now u really become the aunt in the agony liao or maybe uncle?? haha
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Originally posted by PeaceToAll:Hi to all esp Yunhaier,
really thanks for all the guidance ...
I had received a SMS from her this afternoon telling me Good Luck in my test this evening. I was so heartened and touched as I really believed that she still cares for me ...
After I read thru all this postings, I now have a very positive ideal of What I should do. You all shed lights on me, enabling me to see that I must continue to strive for my Happiness.
Thanks to all once again, and I will never wavered my determination to have a chance to give all the Love and Happiness to her. Welcome once again.
I did nothing - You gain the credit from your hardwork. I merely gave you the confidence which you truely need.
Onwards to capture the final fortress still standing. Once its yours - she is yous.