[b]help me![/b]
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help me! i love my bf very much. n he is confuse n sianz in this relationship. he love me too he said..... i'm sad very sad. i cried very night. i cant forget the past we were very loving. until he started to mixed with his friends more n we started meeting less. one day i went out wit my friend(guy) to choose a present for his freind. i didnt tell him coz itz only a short while then i go home. another time was i went out with a friend(guy) to c a show coz all my friends seen the show n i did ask my bf wanna see wit me he said he going to see with his friends.... n so my friend ask me wanna see or not then i said ok. he knoes i have a bf le. all my friends noe i have bf le.... i'm really very sad. i love him alot. he said i betray him which i didnt. i didnt two timer. i said a million of sorries. i made him cards wrote him letters..... burn him cds.... help me..... how to continue this relationship? i told him to forget about the past n continue.... he said ok but it was a lie.... he didint forget. i know itz difficult i did empathize him.... i tired my best to keep this relationship.... he loves me alot too.....
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Originally posted by akino:
if he really loves u alot,he will try his best 2 spend time wif u...if he really loves u,he wun think tt u betray him coz u went out wif yr guy frens..u still have the freedom to go out wif yr frens..if he really loves u,he will believe watever u say n not doubt u..if he's serious n really loves u,he will forget the past n start everything all over again...
help me! i love my bf very much. n he is confuse n sianz in this relationship. he love me too he said..... i'm sad very sad. i cried very night. i cant forget the past we were very loving. until he started to mixed with his friends more n we started meeting less. one day i went out wit my friend(guy) to choose a present for his freind. i didnt tell him coz itz only a short while then i go home. another time was i went out with a friend(guy) to c a show coz all my friends seen the show n i did ask my bf wanna see wit me he said he going to see with his friends.... n so my friend ask me wanna see or not then i said ok. he knoes i have a bf le. all my friends noe i have bf le.... i'm really very sad. i love him alot. he said i betray him which i didnt. i didnt two timer. i said a million of sorries. i made him cards wrote him letters..... burn him cds.... help me..... how to continue this relationship? i told him to forget about the past n continue.... he said ok but it was a lie.... he didint forget. i know itz difficult i did empathize him.... i tired my best to keep this relationship.... he loves me alot too..... [/b] -
Originally posted by akino:
Forget about the CDs and tons of letters... TELL him that you DIDN'T 2-timed him and that's a FACT.... Take it or LEAVE it..... If he likes to make 'something' out of nothings, tell him to CARRY ON with his 'FANTASIES'..... Why should you be entertaining his STUPIDITY and ANGER created out of nothing...?
help me! i love my bf very much. n he is confuse n sianz in this relationship. he love me too he said..... i'm sad very sad. i cried very night. i cant forget the past we were very loving. until he started to mixed with his friends more n we started meeting less. one day i went out wit my friend(guy) to choose a present for his freind. i didnt tell him coz itz only a short while then i go home. another time was i went out with a friend(guy) to c a show coz all my friends seen the show n i did ask my bf wanna see wit me he said he going to see with his friends.... n so my friend ask me wanna see or not then i said ok. he knoes i have a bf le. all my friends noe i have bf le.... i'm really very sad. i love him alot. he said i betray him which i didnt. i didnt two timer. i said a million of sorries. i made him cards wrote him letters..... burn him cds.... help me..... how to continue this relationship? i told him to forget about the past n continue.... he said ok but it was a lie.... he didint forget. i know itz difficult i did empathize him.... i tired my best to keep this relationship.... he loves me alot too..... [/b] -
maybe he was looking for any reason to ditch you..saying loving you is better than rejecting you, which you will be sadden ever more.
if he is not menth for you, let him go.
wat's in a r/s if both are not happy.
take it easy.
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I agree... maybe he wanted to break but dont wanna be the bad guy so after doing all these to u he wish that u will initiate the break...Originally posted by De|usi0n:maybe he was looking for any reason to ditch you..saying loving you is better than rejecting you, which you will be sadden ever more. -
Originally posted by akino:
help me! i love my bf very much. n he is confuse n sianz in this relationship. he love me too he said..... i'm sad very sad. i cried very night. i cant forget the past we were very loving. until he started to mixed with his friends more n we started meeting less. one day i went out wit my friend(guy) to choose a present for his freind. i didnt tell him coz itz only a short while then i go home. another time was i went out with a friend(guy) to c a show coz all my friends seen the show n i did ask my bf wanna see wit me he said he going to see with his friends.... n so my friend ask me wanna see or not then i said ok. he knoes i have a bf le. all my friends noe i have bf le.... i'm really very sad. i love him alot. he said i betray him which i didnt. i didnt two timer. i said a million of sorries. i made him cards wrote him letters..... burn him cds.... help me..... how to continue this relationship? i told him to forget about the past n continue.... he said ok but it was a lie.... he didint forget. i know itz difficult i did empathize him.... i tired my best to keep this relationship.... he loves me alot too..... [/b]
Obviously there is only two possibilities.
I) You boyfriend is weak-willed and being negatively influence from his friends abuot relationship/love/etc - he gradually see no point in having one or probably created this commotion due to hearsay.
II) You boyfriend need an excuse to dump you - this happen to be a good scenario to push that blame onto you and make himself the 'victim'. Many factors could contribute to this: bored of relationship, better potential around, etc.
Either of the two cases - he speaks volumes about his character. I am presuming on the case that you and your guy friends are truely platonic and nothing else.
I am puzzled by one thing: Why say sorry? You fell in love with your guy friend? You had intimate actions with them? You whisper sweet nothings and called each other intimate nicknames? Answer me this and I can shall repost again.
Cheers -
i did initiate the break. but one day later he will msg me for patch up. his friend says he really loves me. if he wants me to initiate he will not msg for patch up right.... after patching... he said he confuse all tat shit... i dunno wats wrong... he always dun wanna tell me wat he is thinking.... everytime i wanna settle things up n he likes to avoid. when we meet i go mental block. meaning forgot wat to say.... izzit buay gam cannot be together? when we chat on phone. we always got wrong preception of each other n end up quarrelling.... why....
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fu4 shui3 nan2 shou1...
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Replying to yunhaier....
nope i nv fell for other guys... i said sorry coz i didnt inform him tat i went out with my friend.... everytime i jio him out he dun wan... his excuse is leg pain after soccer... tired.... or something will kok up. i always feeling the disappointment. very pain.... really.... i always ask myself wats love? i really love him or wat... but the answer is yup. i nv love a guy so deeply... before we get together we were "di ren" cannot get along... but dunno why like tat.... he always break his promise.... "nv expect anything liaoz" tired liaoz...
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Sometimes men juz use such excuses to break up...
If he really loves you, he will understand...How much do you understand him leh? -
Since you never fell for any of the guys, why apology to when he accuse you of doing two-timing, something which you never did. This is so ridiculous. A guy, presuming his gf two-timing him, break up this relationship, without concrete evidence, paradoxically with his gf explaination that says otherwise.Originally posted by akino:Replying to yunhaier....
nope i nv fell for other guys... i said sorry coz i didnt inform him tat i went out with my friend.... everytime i jio him out he dun wan... his excuse is leg pain after soccer... tired.... or something will kok up. i always feeling the disappointment. very pain.... really.... i always ask myself wats love? i really love him or wat... but the answer is yup. i nv love a guy so deeply... before we get together we were "di ren" cannot get along... but dunno why like tat.... he always break his promise.... "nv expect anything liaoz" tired liaoz...
It only boils down to one reason - he is having second thoughts about the relationship. It has little to do with you personally, therefore there is no need to compromise, change, whatever to an extreme - the issue lies with him AND himself only.
Understand why I said ridiculous? He don't want go out with you, then in the end blame you for going out with another guy. Lame right? In the first place, who is the one rejecting dates? Seemed illogical right? I only have one conclusion for you:
When people wants to dump the relationship - they seek for all kind of excuses. Lame or not, as long as they believe - its truth. All I can say is, in time to come, you will realise that all this is but a fleeting moment of feelings. It leaves deep marking, no doubt - but you gain experience and lesson.
Cheers -
ya right! itz logical... i'm stupid foolish. i juz regret tat love him too much.it hurts me alot.... all my sisters r hurt to c me in this state. yue xian yue shen....... i let down my pride coz of this relationship. he is taking me for granted. he is not caring anymore....
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He is looking for an excuse to break off at the same time not to feel guilty and he juz found one -
There is no such thing as love too much - whenever love and effort is input into a relationship and you witnessed the destruction right in front of you - you bleed inside.Originally posted by akino:ya right! itz logical... i'm stupid foolish. i juz regret tat love him too much.it hurts me alot.... all my sisters r hurt to c me in this state. yue xian yue shen....... i let down my pride coz of this relationship. he is taking me for granted. he is not caring anymore....
Love is like swimming pool; when you are swimming inside, you can't touch the ground and it seemed deep. However, when you get out of the pool and observe the water - it seemed only so shallow then.
You cry, not because this relationship sux, rather, you had a bf that doesn't know what he really wants and ending the relationship without facing his real reason, real feelings, reality and him himself. He could tell you that he feel bored with this relationship and wants to move on (or anything, but at least its truth from the heart); perhaps both of you can do something about it, or he can choose to give it up. Instead, he dabbled with false conclusion.
Is this the guy you seek?
Retreat and recuperate - Akino, show to him that you will lead a much better life without him. Afterall, he who give it up, indirectly inject new life into you. Build back your confidence, self-esteem and pride that has been badly ruined. Let me assure you that he will regret ever to dump you - one day if he wants to patch back then, tell him this:
'If It was last time, perhaps I may be moved. However, things are different now.'
There are people who will appreciate the good side of you, trust me.
Cheers -
yesterday i went to meet him... at first he said 8pm then he said 10. coz he meeting his family... then say 2-3 coz go song ka... then said final 3.30. i waited at his block alone till 4.15.... hiaz.... my friends said i give in to him alot le.... yesterday he apologise to me n ask for patch up. i said i c first... he said sorry alot of times.... he said he still love me. i said if u tell me last time i will xin luan.... he ask me whether i still love him i pause a while n said yes. then he ask whether feeling has faded... i pause awhile n said nope... i ask him y treat me so bad always bo hiu me? he said coz wat i done last time.... n he said he will treat me better n try to forget.... i said i cant forget how he treat me... (bad)... he said we try to forget... i kept quiet...
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You have been to naive and soft in your approach to your own relationship. Yes, its a positive point - however, when issues conflicts your relationship, you have to lead it - instead of being in passive mode. Let me enlighten you about some possible comments/questions/statements you could trash at your bf and see how he reply.Originally posted by akino:yesterday i went to meet him... at first he said 8pm then he said 10. coz he meeting his family... then say 2-3 coz go song ka... then said final 3.30. i waited at his block alone till 4.15.... hiaz.... my friends said i give in to him alot le.... yesterday he apologise to me n ask for patch up. i said i c first... he said sorry alot of times.... he said he still love me. i said if u tell me last time i will xin luan.... he ask me whether i still love him i pause a while n said yes. then he ask whether feeling has faded... i pause awhile n said nope... i ask him y treat me so bad always bo hiu me? he said coz wat i done last time.... n he said he will treat me better n try to forget.... i said i cant forget how he treat me... (bad)... he said we try to forget... i kept quiet... I give you one chance to explain yourself why do you think you deserve me to go back to you. Don't tell me that you love me; it has lost it meaning when you don't meant and do what you have said. Why wanna patch when you initiated a break in the first place? What problem could be so big that absolutely NOTHING could be solved? When you mentioned about the break, have you even consider how I will feel? So you PRESUME that I will go back to you when you ask for a patch isn't? No? Then since you claimed that you loved me - what all this bullsh|t? (throw in scenarios). Do you have to dump me first to realise the fault within you? If yes, there is not point patching back - go fool around and after 20 years of soul searching, if you are still single and provided I am, tell me what have you learn about yourself. Then I shall consider whether the patch is accepted or not.
Cheers -
humm.... i intiate the break up not him... we quarrel quarrel quarrel.... then i wanna patch things up coz i tired of it... he got angry n bai jia zi then like climb up to my head liaoz i cant take it then i break. n he will call for a patch up... haiz.... now my feeling is sianz already i wont wait for his call or msg. i put in all i can. everytime we quarrel he will say...u only got one good point tat is wheneva we quarrel u will take the initiative to apologise first! is it every guy at first treat their gal so good n after few months they wont bring their gal out liaoz.... i so long nv go out wit my bf liaoz.... anyway thanx pals for listening to my probs... n giving me advice
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Originally posted by akino:
help me! i love my bf very much. n he is confuse n sianz in this relationship. he love me too he said..... i'm sad very sad. i cried very night. i cant forget the past we were very loving. until he started to mixed with his friends more n we started meeting less. one day i went out wit my friend(guy) to choose a present for his freind. i didnt tell him coz itz only a short while then i go home. another time was i went out with a friend(guy) to c a show coz all my friends seen the show n i did ask my bf wanna see wit me he said he going to see with his friends.... n so my friend ask me wanna see or not then i said ok. he knoes i have a bf le. all my friends noe i have bf le.... i'm really very sad. i love him alot. he said i betray him which i didnt. i didnt two timer. i said a million of sorries. i made him cards wrote him letters..... burn him cds.... help me..... how to continue this relationship? i told him to forget about the past n continue.... he said ok but it was a lie.... he didint forget. i know itz difficult i did empathize him.... i tired my best to keep this relationship.... he loves me alot too..... [/b] no logic..if he really loves you..just a simple explanation would suffice..i trust my girlfriend more than i trust myself..how there could be any confusion is what i'd like to know. -
Originally posted by akino:
Conflicts, conflicts and conflicts - actually most comflicts can be solved - just that in a heated argument, people often say the things they don't want to say or feel helpless and had to break off the relationship .
humm.... i intiate the break up not him... we quarrel quarrel quarrel.... then i wanna patch things up coz i tired of it... he got angry n [b]bai jia zi then like climb up to my head liaoz i cant take it then i break. n he will call for a patch up... haiz.... now my feeling is sianz already i wont wait for his call or msg. i put in all i can. everytime we quarrel he will say...u only got one good point tat is wheneva we quarrel u will take the initiative to apologise first! is it every guy at first treat their gal so good n after few months they wont bring their gal out liaoz.... i so long nv go out wit my bf liaoz.... anyway thanx pals for listening to my probs... n giving me advice[/b]
Never attempt break because you can't take it and patch back when rational thinking returns - relationship will be destroyed in the hands among yourself sooner or later. I am speaking from experience basis and this is the WORST way to solve problems.
For me, breaking off is pretty extreme - once its mentioned and took place - WHY patch? Most of the time, its isn't worthwhile to patch within a few days to weeks, unless you are talking about minimum a year and more. Time change, people change, but you can't change within mere days or weeks.
Good point? Apologise when arguement arise - Ha! Presuming and presuming. He always assume that you will say sorry first - in love nothing is absolute. There will be one day where you wouldn't and probably he will panic.
You need a good rest. Don't get tangle with this guy for a moment. You are confuse because everything seemed to happen in a flash. All I can say is if you allow a moderate period of rest - like probably 2 - 3 weeks. (I mean full rest - go enjoy yourself, make merry, don't bother about his sms, calls, etc) - you will eventually realise whether is it worth to patch back with him.
Cheers -
yup... i think for the time being.... i'll relax.... if he really love me he will take the first move. hum.... i will just put aside everything. thanx for all advices. i'll take note. thanx pals. [/img]
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Originally posted by akino:yup... i think for the time being.... i'll relax.... if he really love me he will take the first move. hum.... i will just put aside everything. thanx for all advices. i'll take note. thanx pals. [/img] You will be fine ya lady? I wish you well.