do u speak in English or ur Mother Tongue with ur bf/gf???
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guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.when we first met each other,we converse in chinese.for ur info,she speaks English with her friends.but recently,she told me that her friend mentioned that her English is getting worse.i asked her if she's not happy with the idea of us speaking in Chinese.she told me that she prefer English.wat should i do? should i give in or wat? the thought of changing to speaking English now with her is rather scary.
any advice?
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whichever is more comfortable. i've known couples where 1 speaks in english the other replies in chinese/hokkien throughout the entire conversation.
if her english deproves just by not speaking it to 1 person, it just means she wasn't that fluent in it anyway. -
hmm..i think it's ok one lah..my bf's stepmum is a thai..den since we'd conversation..my frenz said my eng dropped till very jia lek..kekeke..ermm..more and more singlish liao..hehe..but it's fun leh..
ermm..actually i prefer to speak chi wif my bf..but when quarrel..i prefer to speak to him in eng..coz i dunno how to say dialect mah..sometimes easier to express something in eng when angry loh..
of coz not something vulgar lah..
ermm..hv a nice tok wif yr gf..think this is the best solution loh..
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Hi H-Profile,Originally posted by H-Profile:guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.
It seems that both of you have a preferred spoken language. Like you said it's just a preference. That means we are comfortable with the other language as well. Speaking either language does not make one better or lesser than another. Since both of you can speak both languages, how about speaking both? that means instead of one person giving in, both of you can compromise. What do you think? -
Originally posted by H-Profile:guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.when we first met each other,we converse in chinese.for ur info,she speaks English with her friends.but recently,she told me that her friend mentioned that her English is getting worse.i asked her if she's not happy with the idea of us speaking in Chinese.she told me that she prefer English.wat should i do? should i give in or wat? the thought of changing to speaking English now with her is rather scary.
any advice? 
Its all about compromising.
You see, your gf tried to adapted to you by speaking mandarin, well, at times when its possible, speak by to her in the language she is more comfortable with.
When both parties tries to compromise for each other knowing or unknowingly - problems gradually disappear and it will become the 'norm.'
Basically for my case - I speak in language where I can fully express myself - regardless of what is it, however I have this tendency to switch language.
Cheers -
Never really consciously changed my partner. But since I mostly speak English, all my boyfriends would gradually switch to English when speaking to me. Maybe it's because they're more effectively bilingual than I am. But we don't openly make an agreement.
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H-Profile..can intro your gf to me..i speak english so her english is a sure sure 100% improved !!.
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Originally posted by chguy:H-Profile..can intro your gf to me..i speak english so her english is a sure sure 100% improved !!. Nice try.
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speak english, that's what i do anyway.
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I thought it's always good that you can correspond in both languages? Instead of thinking if her English is getting worse, she can be thinking if her Chinese is getting better?Originally posted by H-Profile:guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.when we first met each other,we converse in chinese.for ur info,she speaks English with her friends.but recently,she told me that her friend mentioned that her English is getting worse.i asked her if she's not happy with the idea of us speaking in Chinese.she told me that she prefer English.wat should i do? should i give in or wat? the thought of changing to speaking English now with her is rather scary.
any advice?
If I were you I would have suggested to her that we speak both languages and ask for her opinion on that? -
speak both language? as in i speak Mandarin and she speaks English? wouldnt that be a fit funny?
Hm..how to compromise? meaning we speak in a mixture of English and Chinese?
Thanks all for ur valuable advice! -
im a very cunning linguist
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Sometimes speak Chinese, sometimes speak English... FRANKLY SPEAKING, it's BETTER for your brain that way....Originally posted by H-Profile:speak both language? as in i speak Mandarin and she speaks English? wouldnt that be a fit funny?
Hm..how to compromise? meaning we speak in a mixture of English and Chinese?
Thanks all for ur valuable advice! -
Originally posted by H-Profile:guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.when we first met each other,we converse in chinese.for ur info,she speaks English with her friends.but recently,she told me that her friend mentioned that her English is getting worse.i asked her if she's not happy with the idea of us speaking in Chinese.she told me that she prefer English.wat should i do? should i give in or wat? the thought of changing to speaking English now with her is rather scary.
Well, I dun think speaking in English is that scary. Dun let this be ur mental burden. Of course to be comfortable in the usage of language is the best, but I dun think it is not impossible for u to learn to speak in English. It is just a matter of getting used to it that's all.
I myself grew up in chinese speaking family. But in my poly days and my workplace, I encounter lots of english-speaking pple, which forced me to change my habit. Now, by default when I open my mouth and talk, I speak english. And my mandarin suddenly took a rocket dive. But I dun wish pple to mistake me as "gao bu ke pan", so I normally still speak to my close frens in mandarin. (although the tendency to replace some chinese words that I cannot "processed" with English is there)
Watever it is, dun let things like language barrier be ur stumbling block in a relationship. It is just a matter of practise and getting use. Sometime speak english, but sometime switch to mandarin for a start lah. Slowly
any advice? -
since ur eng haf no prob y scary.. nt lyk me.. when i tok to some1 i lyk my lips start to tremble.. if i speak eng worst.. duno wtf i toking.. lol
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hi! i speak english most of the time to my bf. but to my friends in chinese... coz my family bought up speak english... so i speak those who r close to me in english.... aiya dude this is a small problem only... u can speak to her in english same time can buck up ur english too ma. nothing to worry... my chinese is not tat good... my bf oso teach me ma... all the best dude
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I used to speak alot of English back in school with my girl-friends too... then my bf is chinese-speaking and somehow or rather, I also got influenced and speak more Chinese as well... hmm i guess i'm like ur gf, english deproving over the days.. and I also told my bf abt it before..
wat happened was that he did not make an abrupt change abt it, like speak to me totally in English.. it was gradual... so now, we actually have a mixture of English and Chinese in our conversation... I dun take note or care if he speaks all English or all Chinese.. the contents of our conversation are more impt...
Anyway, my bf's English sounds grammatically better now.. haha. Dun worry fren! dun take this matter to heart.. jus be at ease with her. Good luck to ur relationship! -
eberything.....english, chinese, hokkien.......watever......
depends on wat we are toking about loh........heheheeheh........
i used to have a kentang bf (english-speaking family)....he will speak eng to me then i will reply in chinese.....purposely make him tulanz..... -
mandarin and english
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Originally posted by H-Profile:guys..i have a slight problem here.i'm used to speaking Chinese since i was young.i do not have difficulty speaking English but somehow or rather,i prefer to speak in Chinese.
Here's where the problem comes:
my gf is from a English speaking family and english is her preferred language.when we first met each other,we converse in chinese.for ur info,she speaks English with her friends.but recently,she told me that her friend mentioned that her English is getting worse.i asked her if she's not happy with the idea of us speaking in Chinese.she told me that she prefer English.wat should i do? should i give in or wat? the thought of changing to speaking English now with her is rather scary.
any advice? i make an effort to ensure our conversations are as informal as possible..so i use a mixture of mandarin, english and hokkien..but predominantly mandarin. -
ahah yeah man i've heard couples like that. it's kinda wierd when i hear it, but then it's also really cool!Originally posted by nismoS132:whichever is more comfortable. i've known couples where 1 speaks in english the other replies in chinese/hokkien throughout the entire conversation.
if her english deproves just by not speaking it to 1 person, it just means she wasn't that fluent in it anyway. -
agree.Originally posted by nismoS132:if her english deproves just by not speaking it to 1 person, it just means she wasn't that fluent in it anyway.