Ignorance is a bless
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Think tis is my first post here. Really hope to have someone to talk 2 now....
people say "ignorance is a bless." This I strongly agreed. Remember the days when we were young. Always so carefree n never have to worry abt things around us, for our parents will be there looking after us.
Many ppl who noes mi, will always say I m very blur. I dun seems like a Singaporean coz I lack tat drive each singaporean possess. I search myself for the answer n discover 2 factor lead to tis.
1) I dun have a good childhood. My parents were always argueing n fighting sometimes. At times, I always hope I cannot hear their quarrels. Perhaps I hope too much.... now I m partically deaf.
I began to ignore things happenning around mi, not wanting to noe how the world is spinning. I fear responsibility n especially noeing abt all the things I never want to noe - my "old man"'s mistress
2) many ppl say I m a lucky man. Living in a exec appt n need not bother abt most of the things as my "old man" will always arrange for mi. Until now, I m still quite dependent on him for my daily needs n tis I hate most.
Today I confirm a fact which all tis yrs I want to noe. - my dad have a mistress. How I noe? 1 person indirectly hint mi, while another ask mi how I find my "2nd ma"(I DUN ACKNOWLEDGE). Putting a mask, I reply "ok loh" ( wat else can I say)
*Sigh* perhaps in 1-2 yrs time, my parents will divorce. I think I have to start preparing to save $$ to buy a place to stay
dun like staying wif them anymore. I WILL not ACKNOWLEDGE my "2nd ma". For my mother, I noe she will need my support, but right now, I feel tat IF my parents were divorced, she will start complaining day n night tat I like my father - have a foul temper. Perhaps it's better tis way. at least we dun clash too often like now.... -
Originally posted by xian89:Think tis is my first post here. Really hope to have someone to talk 2 now....
people say "ignorance is a bless." This I strongly agreed. Remember the days when we were young. Always so carefree n never have to worry abt things around us, for our parents will be there looking after us.
Many ppl who noes mi, will always say I m very blur. I dun seems like a Singaporean coz I lack tat drive each singaporean possess. I search myself for the answer n discover 2 factor lead to tis.
1) I dun have a good childhood. My parents were always argueing n fighting sometimes. At times, I always hope I cannot hear their quarrels. Perhaps I hope too much.... now I m partically deaf.
I began to ignore things happenning around mi, not wanting to noe how the world is spinning. I fear responsibility n especially noeing abt all the things I never want to noe - my "old man"'s mistress
2) many ppl say I m a lucky man. Living in a exec appt n need not bother abt most of the things as my "old man" will always arrange for mi. Until now, I m still quite dependent on him for my daily needs n tis I hate most.
Today I confirm a fact which all tis yrs I want to noe. - my dad have a mistress. How I noe? 1 person indirectly hint mi, while another ask mi how I find my "2nd ma"(I DUN ACKNOWLEDGE). Putting a mask, I reply "ok loh" ( wat else can I say)
*Sigh* perhaps in 1-2 yrs time, my parents will divorce. I think I have to start preparing to save $$ to buy a place to stay dun like staying wif them anymore. I WILL not ACKNOWLEDGE my "2nd ma". For my mother, I noe she will need my support, but right now, I feel tat IF my parents were divorced, she will start complaining day n night tat I like my father - have a foul temper. Perhaps it's better tis way. at least we dun clash too often like now....
Normally, I don't reply to family problem post because its very much often beyond our scope of control. However, I could sense your anguish and helplessness.
When parents quarrel with one another, probably creating a scene and indirectly affect the child - it influence its psychological development and love definition. Most people don't understand the gravity of such impact and how much damage it actually cause to a child.
Your parents ain't born into this world knowing how to be a parent. In the Ninth Law of Love - Marriage is not forever (Sad to say) - and its between two. You are old enough to think for yourself or even be a father biologically, so there are a few points I would like to comment.
I) Since marriage is between two - the direct involvement would be your mother and your father. When critical problems occurs between them and when time passed until its time for them to divorce - let me tell you, take no side. Respect each of them because they bore you and that's about it. ITS THEIR LOVE LIFE and karma that they have to undergo. Come on, adults in their forties and fifties - they may still have to learn and grasp love cosmic lesson.
II) You mum would probably need some form of support and though you may be right about your mum ranting about all sort of hell she could about your dad when they divorce - woman are still woman. Let her say what she wants - still take no side. However, be there when she needs you.
III) Don't let this affect your attitude towards Love and Relationship. Probably it already has (subconsciously and consciously), however may I advice that you could channel all these bad negative experience you gain from your parent's marriage into a case study -and probably understand why their marriage not working, why they solve their problem in a certain way, character-wise, etc.
P.S: Problems that exist in your parents marriage are very often not within your control. Your parents are way OLD-ENOUGH to know what they are doing. You may not share the same preception as either one of them, however, you certainly have the power to take good care of your own life.
Cheers -
Originally posted by xian89:
Advice : Try to keep your cool and plan for whatever's the neccessary now so that you won't be receiving too much of a shock when things happen in the future... Try to keep other aspects of your life POSITIVE... Minimise the negative impact things might have on you... When the storm is over, you'll probably see yourself a better man.....
Think tis is my first post here. Really hope to have someone to talk 2 now....
people say "ignorance is a bless." This I strongly agreed. Remember the days when we were young. Always so carefree n never have to worry abt things around us, for our parents will be there looking after us.
Many ppl who noes mi, will always say I m very blur. I dun seems like a Singaporean coz I lack tat drive each singaporean possess. I search myself for the answer n discover 2 factor lead to tis.
1) I dun have a good childhood. My parents were always argueing n fighting sometimes. At times, I always hope I cannot hear their quarrels. Perhaps I hope too much.... now I m partically deaf.
I began to ignore things happenning around mi, not wanting to noe how the world is spinning. I fear responsibility n especially noeing abt all the things I never want to noe - my "old man"'s mistress
What you've mentioned is very true, and not uncommon. But though as much as you wanna turn a deaf ear to some things in your life, you should learn to control what you wanna see and what you wanna ignore. Having a 'total switch off' strategy is bad, and probably gonna affect your overall performance and growth in life. You learn things one step at a time. From ignoring, to accepting and facing the fact that these are the realities in life.....
2) many ppl say I m a lucky man. Living in a exec appt n need not bother abt most of the things as my "old man" will always arrange for mi. Until now, I m still quite dependent on him for my daily needs n tis I hate most.
You can always achieve to be independent? If you can't do it overnight, do it in months... Or even years... Sooner or later you'll just have to grow up and be independent..?
Today I confirm a fact which all tis yrs I want to noe. - my dad have a mistress. How I noe? 1 person indirectly hint mi, while another ask mi how I find my "2nd ma"(I DUN ACKNOWLEDGE). Putting a mask, I reply "ok loh" ( wat else can I say)
when such things happen, try not to take it as a 'blow' just like the way they'll show in the 'tragedies' in TV dramas, stories and movies.... Take it as a natural fact and part of life which has been existing even before you know it... Your knowing it is just a confirmation of things.... A crossover from ideas to reality.... Other than that, the impact is up to you to create upon yourself....
*Sigh* perhaps in 1-2 yrs time, my parents will divorce. I think I have to start preparing to save $$ to buy a place to stay dun like staying wif them anymore. I WILL not ACKNOWLEDGE my "2nd ma". For my mother, I noe she will need my support, but right now, I feel tat IF my parents were divorced, she will start complaining day n night tat I like my father - have a foul temper. Perhaps it's better tis way. at least we dun clash too often like now....
What you think today may not be what you'll be doing tomorrow... You can start to plan ahead for the future now if you want to... But the strong emotional stir ups you're having now is not uncommon as a human.... In time to come when these emotions have 'die down', they'll probably present themselves in a different way... Won't be very healthy if you don't handle them properly now..... -
"bliss" not "bless"
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You okay? KICK the mood... It's YOUR LIFE... You can kick whatever you don't want aside... Whatever you want... You KEEP...Originally posted by xian89:Think tis is my first post here. Really hope to have someone to talk 2 now....