needed more advice from aunt agony!
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http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=53158
hope you all can give me more advice... what can i do?
pls post over there for easier reading..thanks in advance!
hOnda_rIder
a heartbroken guy -
here's what i think...
she's not ready... as a man, it is our lot in life to suck up this pain and endure it... be her friend, wait for her if you really love her...
be around her.. when it's time, maybe she'll be your girl... give her your support as a friend... and maybe in time, it'll become more than just a friend?
it is tough... are you willing to endure this for her?
it would take some soul-searching on your own too...
good luck! -
I sympathise with you, having given much but yet found none to reciprocate...
firstly, you have to understand the following:
1) You barely know your ex gf for a long time (I'm putting it as 'ex', becoz I considered it a as past r/s, anything good that comes outta it in future will be a brand new r/s to start with.
)
it means, she may find that you're not exactly the one she's looking for after having spend some time with you. When she agreed to go into a r/s with you, she could be doing it bcoz she finds it hard to reject or she did it on a moment of impulse, bcoz you are there. (Of coz it can happen to anyone else at that moment, I may be wrong though) This means. she's on the rebound after the previous r/s, thus she's diverting/transferring her affection onto you, whom she though is the right one.
2) Having said that, please bear in mind, she said she did have a 'crush' on you. Crush here means attraction of the opp sex, mostly becoz of outlook/physical appearance, etc etc, attraction that most probably will fade with time. (I may be wrong on this). When she told you she'll prefer you to be her friend after 11 days of togetherness, you should be glad she didn't drag it any further. For chances are, you'll feel more tormented and the impact will be 100 times or even 1000 times more greater. I will consider her to be mature enough to put a stop to a r/s which she considered fruitless (probably at this moment in time, bcoz she's too confused and is not able to commit becoz you're putting in more than her). She's being frank with you by telling you not to treat her so nice and that you're putting in more effort than her. The reason she's telling you that is becoz she don't want you to be shortchanged. I bet with you not many girls can be as frank as her. 
I will advise you to bid your time of coz. WHY? Simply becoz if you advance any further, you will ruin the chance of her knowing you better, and probably not allowing the friendship to grow and deepen. She may feel pressured into withdrawing away from you, by then I don't reckon you have any chance at all. As of now, it's still a 50-50 that you guys might end up together after she manage to sort out everything.
Take heart, bid for your time. Who knows you'll come back telling us, she's afterall not the real one you're seeking for?
All the best...
Cheerz.
[/quote]Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:i have know this girl through working place as we hit it out as a fren first... after a short period, i keep asking her out for date... all she agreed to it.. as we both hit it so prefectly just like couple as we had quite a few things are in common. so.............. after which... during one of the date after senting her home... reached home, i msg her to be my gf as i hinted her .... as she agreed but not nuch condfience in it as she has been dumped before...by her ex.. so as i also found out from her that she has a crush on me just as i do!!hai... so........prefect.but... after 11 days of been together,i have just love her as much as i love myself... but one day she told me that why am i treating her so nicely as she is not giving as much as i do...further den she feeling so..pressurized and seem that she could not get close to anyone at this moment... hai...after a few converstion we had den she say she prefer me to be his fren rather than bf as she feel much... better!so what should i do?feeling superb hurt..... as i like her alots... how do i get back her?please advice...
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Originally posted by ^cereal^:
does that mean that i have to take thing slowly? as she did mention that we are going on too faST as lasty she did mention that ýou might not know after year we will be together'' what does that mean ? wait for her for few year?hai! as i felt pain inside my heart cos she is the one that i going to spend my life with.... but she told me that she had never think that further... feeling that i am asuch a loser! hai!
I sympathise with you, having given much but yet found none to reciprocate...
firstly, you have to understand the following:
1) You barely know your ex gf for a long time (I'm putting it as '[b]ex', becoz I considered it a as past r/s, anything good that comes outta it in future will be a brand new r/s to start with. ) it means, she may find that you're not exactly the one she's looking for after having spend some time with you. When she agreed to go into a r/s with you, she could be doing it bcoz she finds it hard to reject or she did it on a moment of impulse, bcoz you are there. (Of coz it can happen to anyone else at that moment, I may be wrong though) This means. she's on the rebound after the previous r/s, thus she's diverting/transferring her affection onto you, whom she though is the right one.
2) Having said that, please bear in mind, she said she did have a 'crush' on you. Crush here means attraction of the opp sex, mostly becoz of outlook/physical appearance, etc etc, attraction that most probably will fade with time. (I may be wrong on this). When she told you she'll prefer you to be her friend after 11 days of togetherness, you should be glad she didn't drag it any further. For chances are, you'll feel more tormented and the impact will be 100 times or even 1000 times more greater. I will consider her to be mature enough to put a stop to a r/s which she considered fruitless (probably at this moment in time, bcoz she's too confused and is not able to commit becoz you're putting in more than her). She's being frank with you by telling you not to treat her so nice and that you're putting in more effort than her. The reason she's telling you that is becoz she don't want you to be shortchanged. I bet with you not many girls can be as frank as her.
I will advise you to bid your time of coz. WHY? Simply becoz if you advance any further, you will ruin the chance of her knowing you better, and probably not allowing the friendship to grow and deepen. She may feel pressured into withdrawing away from you, by then I don't reckon you have any chance at all. As of now, it's still a 50-50 that you guys might end up together after she manage to sort out everything.
Take heart, bid for your time. Who knows you'll come back telling us, she's afterall not the real one you're seeking for?
All the best...
Cheerz.
[/b] -
thanks...cereal and the bear... anymore... advice that could live me up more?
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welcome...
tough time don't last, tough people do.
be sure to be one of the toughest...Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:thanks...cereal and the bear... anymore... advice that could live me up more? -
that good one... thanks palsOriginally posted by ^cereal^:welcome...
tough time don't last, tough people do.
be sure to be one of the toughest...