Wad does he mean?
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I have a very close guy friend (name him J)..
I've known him since forever..lOlx..
We used to really like each other..but it's all bad timing..
And after many years..we are still friends..
Yesterday..my friend died..
She was my Primary school friend..
I just talked to her abt a week ago, and i told her..i will vist her soon..
But..on Sunday..i recieve news that she will not be able to last longer anymore..
I rushed down to Mount Elizabeth..hoping to see her..
But it's too late..she died 5 mins b4 i arrive..
When i reach the Hopsital..i didn't cry..i just kept quiet..
I didn't know wad's going thru me..
Then i came home..send many of my friends..
Sms that tell them how i felt about them..and how thankful i am to have friends like them..
I came across this friend of mine ( J )..
I didn't know wad to say to him..
Althot i have a bf of 2 years..but sometimes.. J would alwaes appear on my mind..maybe coz of memory sake..lOlx..
So i didn't msg him coz i didn't have anything to say..
I was in MSN..having some talks with my friends..
And he came into MSN..then he said Hi to me..
We chatted..and he ask my why i like so sad..
Then i told him..my friend pass away..
then he tried to ask me to clam down and get over it..
Then i told him that i actually msg-ed all my friends..
and told them how i felt..but i didn't msg him..
then he ask me why..then i told him tt i didn't know how to place my words..and we started to talk abt relationships..
Then he said something..i realli didn't know wad it means..
He said.." I dun expect you to be my gf..as long as when i'm out with u and see that u happy, i more than happy"
Wad does he mean?..
I'm so vexed and confuse over all my problems..
i just couldn't think straight..
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J know u got a bf right?
think he likes u. but liking someone doesnt always require the person to be with him or be his gf.
just to be able to see her and making sure she is happy can be enough for him.
i would say he is very chi qing. cool~~
dun think too much lah. if u really like him then say....
meanwhile just be satisfied there is such a guy caring for u. -
yeah man, i agree.Originally posted by T-711:J know u got a bf right?
think he likes u. but liking someone doesnt always require the person to be with him or be his gf.
just to be able to see her and making sure she is happy can be enough for him.
i would say he is very chi qing. cool~~
dun think too much lah. if u really like him then say....
meanwhile just be satisfied there is such a guy caring for u.
i have a guy fren whom i am very close with..lots of pple wonder why we are not an item, cos we look so much like one..but feelings were never expressed. since J did that, think of your next step.
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i got one fren also close with me. ppl say we are a perfect match. well i dun realise this until last yr. but alas..... 2 mths and we are off. but at least we are still good frens.
sometimes some ppl can only be frens. i treat that girl pretty nice too. but i believe she can only be my good fren. but i am satisfied enough to know that she cares for me too.
next step? hmmm. bgr is tricky business. pls think of ur current stead too.
seems like we are putting her in a more difficult dilemma. dun worry abt this ger. just go on with ur life and sees whatsup~~
sorry abt ur fren death....
i just attend 2 of my frens' funeral this yr......
bad bad year....
sob
i didnt cry either. guess they wasnt that close to me. nonetheless life gotta go on so cheer up. -
life is always very funny...2 opposite sex can be very very good fren, but when they proceed to couple, they will have trouble..
maybe tat's wat the guy mean...sometime better be frens than be couple... -
got bf liao still get so troubled over wat another guy thinks of you. Geez!!!
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i do not know the ger very well until i go stead with her. then i know what type of lover she is.
so i can only say she will only be my fren. she is a good fren. i can talk anything under the sun with her. but being lover....hmmm....
well i guess i wasnt that great a lover too.
heee
working on it.
ya. since u got a bf y are u that concern abt what the guy say? think u like him too.... feel sorry for ur present bf....
pls ppl. if u got a gf/bf pls be more committed and loyal and responsible towards ur partner unless u love him/her no more. respect one another even after breakup. not all bgr are 4ever. -
Now my bf is in NS..
I told him that i'll wait for him..
Now i doubt my commitment towards him..
I love my bf too..but on the other hand..
I too have feelings for J..tt's something i cannot deny..
I know this is like so..irresponsible or something..
But i'm only human..i know i cannot take tt as an excuse..
But i dunno wad to do...
Maybe he realli meant that we could only be friends..
I dunno..i cannot think straight..
Sorry if i'm asking to be scolded...but i realli like both of them..
I know i cannot have the best of both worlds..
I feel so selfish..why am i feeling like this..after so much tt have happened to me and my bf..i thot we should be strong..
at least i thot i should be strong..
Why does his words meant so much to me?
I dun understand..i realli dun.. -
hmm, there's this saying, but may not apply to all lar...
it states tat the longer the frenship goes, the more the gal will end up liking the guy instead..maybe tat's y pple said gal need time to get warm up..but for guys much diff, they wan it fast n usually will strike it soon...
so u might think he can be ur soul mate, hence feels tat he's more suitable to u lar... -
i dun think he meant u could only be frens with u. he just said that he dun need u to be his gf to make him happy. but if u could, it be a plus for him. an additional delight.Originally posted by Angelz_ger:Now my bf is in NS..
I told him that i'll wait for him..
Now i doubt my commitment towards him..
I love my bf too..but on the other hand..
I too have feelings for J..tt's something i cannot deny..
I know this is like so..irresponsible or something..
But i'm only human..i know i cannot take tt as an excuse..
But i dunno wad to do...
Maybe he realli meant that we could only be friends..
I dunno..i cannot think straight..
Sorry if i'm asking to be scolded...but i realli like both of them..
I know i cannot have the best of both worlds..
I feel so selfish..why am i feeling like this..after so much tt have happened to me and my bf..i thot we should be strong..
at least i thot i should be strong..
Why does his words meant so much to me?
I dun understand..i realli dun..
i am wondering if u should discuss this with ur bf.... maybe u feel too lonely that he is in ns and didnt spend enough time with u?
regarding ur choice, of coz that goes with ur feelings. it depends on which one of them u prefer to be with.
if u breakup with ur present bf, though he be angry for awhile(who wouldnt), he will understand and let go one day to find a better ger. not everybody is perfect with each other.....
i would say sooner or later, J gonna find himself another ger he can shower his love on and not place his hope on u. like i do now, having a look out on other nice gers.
hope u make a clean choice and dun hurt both guys or rather hurt ur bf coz J seems to be with anything. -
His words is as simple as he mentioned - pure platonic friendship. You soul lingers in the past, probably because you never had a proper relationship with him before - therefore triggering this desire. You ponder over his honest words: you wished to give yourself an excuse to have a chance with him.Originally posted by Angelz_ger:Now my bf is in NS..
I told him that i'll wait for him..
Now i doubt my commitment towards him..
I love my bf too..but on the other hand..
I too have feelings for J..tt's something i cannot deny..
I know this is like so..irresponsible or something..
But i'm only human..i know i cannot take tt as an excuse..
But i dunno wad to do...
Maybe he realli meant that we could only be friends..
I dunno..i cannot think straight..
Sorry if i'm asking to be scolded...but i realli like both of them..
I know i cannot have the best of both worlds..
I feel so selfish..why am i feeling like this..after so much tt have happened to me and my bf..i thot we should be strong..
at least i thot i should be strong..
Why does his words meant so much to me?
I dun understand..i realli dun..
When your present relationship is undergoing criticial stage - people will tend to think back about the happy/regreted past. This is psychological tactics to defend your mind from pondering too much over present issue and at the same time, emotional reflection on 'IF only he....' and 'What if he....'
My words is simple: No promise of waiting is guaranteed, no matter how much you may love someone. Your path of life isn't going to be a quiet one - most likely, it will be filled with people and events. Time change, people change - holding onto promise may hinder your advancement.
Let me clarify one point: I am not encouraging you to leave your bf for them, for IF the both of you were destined to be together, it would have happen someday in the future. My take is that because your bf is in NS - your loneliness create a vaccum in you, the feeling of emptiness, which strengthen your crave for J.
Love is cute - for someone you love, DOESN'T MEAN he is suitable for you. He mentioned that he is contended in seeing that you are happy - I believe he meant exactly what he says. Nothing more, nothing less.
STOP LIVING IN THE PAST - he may have moved on long ago, its you who stopped yourself from advancing.
Cheers -
I'm sorry to hear about your deceased friend. That is part and parcel of life. Take it in your stride.
Firstly, why are you in a r/s with your current bf? Are you having problems with your current bf that J knows off?
Secondly, when you mentioned you still think of J, is it really becoz of memory that's why he still lingers around in your thoughts or are you thinking about him, wondering why is he not the one to be holding your hands and standing next to you?
You mentioned you do not want to msg him to inform him about how you're feeling. Guts feeling tells me you didnt do just that becoz you don't want J to pity you and that you do not want to look fragile to him. (I may be wrong) Search deep within yourself and you'll know exactly why... (bear in mind, you first mentioned you felt you got nothing to tell him thus not msging him, when he probed, you told him you didnt know how to put your words to him. Which is which exactly?)
hm... much as there're guys out there who are very sacrificial, telling the girls they like that 'I'm happy as long as you're happy'.. deep within lies another meaning and that is 'whr on earth can you find someone, like me, who don't mind someone they like being attached and still wishing to see them being happy?' many times they're just out trying to make you go off-balance, having doubts about your current r/s and make you feel unstable. Becoz offhand you will think, 'what am i going to do to this guy who's so good. maybe my bf is not as good as him...'
I hope I make sense to you, bcoz to some girls and guys out there, it's always about this thing call 'challenge' and 'thrill'... please cast away all doubts on your r/s if you're indeed having one now. You shouldn't be swayed bcoz of what J told you, but on what you believe in.
Cheerz... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
hmm this is well written. it summmaries what i said so far.
His words is as simple as he mentioned - pure platonic friendship. You soul lingers in the past, probably because you never had a proper relationship with him before - therefore triggering this desire. You ponder over his honest words: you wished to give yourself an excuse to have a chance with him.
When your present relationship is undergoing criticial stage - people will tend to think back about the happy/regreted past. This is psychological tactics to defend your mind from pondering too much over present issue and at the same time, emotional reflection on 'IF only he....' and 'What if he....'
My words is simple: No promise of waiting is guaranteed, no matter how much you may love someone. Your path of life isn't going to be a quiet one - most likely, it will be filled with people and events. Time change, people change - holding onto promise may hinder your advancement.
Let me clarify one point: I am not encouraging you to leave your bf for them, for IF the both of you were destined to be together, it would have happen someday in the future. My take is that because your bf is in NS - your loneliness create a vaccum in you, the feeling of emptiness, which strengthen your crave for J.
Love is cute - for someone you love, [b]DOESN'T MEAN he is suitable for you. He mentioned that he is contended in seeing that you are happy - I believe he meant exactly what he says. Nothing more, nothing less. STOP LIVING IN THE PAST - he may have moved on long ago, its you who stopped yourself from advancing.
Cheers[/b]
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Dear Angel_gerz,
I think "like" is an understatement. It seems to me more like true love and care because he really wants you to be happy. Actually, in his heart, he is not really that happy without you by his side but because you seem happy to him, he cannot stop that kind of happy feeling from growing in him. Personally, I say that I'm happy that the other person is happy only when I truly love the person. -
Thanks For all the advise..
Thot i'm still at a lost...and still unsure of wat shld i really do about how i feel..
I guess wad Yunhaier said is rite..
I guess it's me..maybe he have realli moved on..Originally posted by Yunhaier: STOP LIVING IN THE PAST - he may have moved on long ago, its you who stopped yourself from advancing.
Why would just some guy tell u tt.." I dun expect you to be my gf..as long as when i'm out with u and see that u happy, i more than happy" ..is this just nothing more and nothing less and just to see me happy?..Originally posted by smoke:Dear Angel_gerz,
I think "like" is an understatement. It seems to me more like true love and care because he really wants you to be happy. Actually, in his heart, he is not really that happy without you by his side but because you seem happy to him, he cannot stop that kind of happy feeling from growing in him. Personally, I say that I'm happy that the other person is happy only when I truly love the person.
I dun think it's making me very happy now...
It's quite impossible to discuss this with my bf..
He belongs to the super possive type..
While J is kinda like a total different personality..
HaiZz..i think i'll just let time pass and everything would return to normal..Hopefully this wun happen again and again..
Will i regret?..why suddenly i cannot think straight... -
The pain of being rejected may be hard to bear but at least, you need not lie to yourself. Maybe you should try to let him know your feelings in a subtle way so that you do not get hurt if the answer is negative. It is better to do something now and never regret no matter how painful it is, than not to do that thing you always wanted to do and end up regretting.
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like Yunhaier said. it might just be a platonic frenship. not all guys need to possess the ger. some are just as happy to see their love happy.
anyway, most guys would have moved on. dun linger in the past no more.
its irrelevant and wont bring u happiness. move on with ur life and cherish ur relationship with ur bf.
things wont be normal if u cant be sure what u want. time heals but wont cover over things.
letting time pass to get over this matter is just self deceiving.
sorry i dun seem able to help u. -
HE IS TRYING TO TELL U HE ALREADI LIKE U FOR A LONG TIME.. HE DUN EXPECT ANYTHING WHEN HE TELL U TIS.. but i think he fake fake 1.. lol i noe he still 1 u
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er.. mind me asking y ur frend die n hw old is she?
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same age as me..17..
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Another great hint you subconsciously drop upon your post: Your current bf is possessive while he understand the importance of personal space and freedom.Originally posted by Angelz_ger:Thanks For all the advise..
Thot i'm still at a lost...and still unsure of wat shld i really do about how i feel..
I guess wad Yunhaier said is rite..
Why would just some guy tell u tt.." I dun expect you to be my gf..as long as when i'm out with u and see that u happy, i more than happy" ..is this just nothing more and nothing less and just to see me happy?..
I dun think it's making me very happy now...
It's quite impossible to discuss this with my bf..
He belongs to the super possive type..
While J is kinda like a total different personality..
HaiZz..i think i'll just let time pass and everything would return to normal..Hopefully this wun happen again and again..
Will i regret?..why suddenly i cannot think straight... You crave to release yourself.
You are comparing.
Why compare and contrast? You are not satisfied deep inside.
You mentioned that you wanted the best of both world - it goes to show that you don't even know what you want yourself. How can you be satisfied when, in the first place, you don't even know what you are seeking?
Be kind to yourself; allow some time to rest and enjoy what the world has to offer meanwhile. Thinking too much of mundane issues can only lead to unneccessary conclusion that has no stand of its own.
Cheers -
Hmm..thanks for all the advise..
I guess i know wad's my nxt step..
All ur posts realli made me think alot.. 
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did i helped u? hahahahha.
yunhaier is a good help!
cheers to u and all the best in the days to come.
good luck~ -
It means he is in love with YOU!
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care to tell us ur decision? n results? but i can see tt the "guy" really loves u n is prepared to accept u in his arm.. lol