Why is this happening to me??
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Hi guys..
I so depress, heartbroken and sad now..really felt like ending my life.. Im in my early 30s, planning to get settle down this year with my gal of 4yrs and working so hard for our future..and planned everything.. Last week, she told me she want out of the relationship. My whole world collaspe like bricks..I'll do not how to recovered from it..
It all happened 2months ago..early June she started to treated me coldy..till i could not take it and ask for timeout for her to chose what she wants..and for a month..i'll tried my best to shower all my love to her..and in the end she still want out...I could not take this blow..She the most beautiful gal i ever know and I had wanted so much to spend my rest of my life with her and prmoise to provide her everything..Now she chose out, i so sad and kept crying day and nite whereever i think of her..there so many beautiful memories with her and so many first time whth her..why did she had to treat me like dat..there no symptom at all she change..so sudden..We were still want to see wedding bands in May..
I had been crying constantly for her..alot of ppl might think i am a lamer..but i just cant control myself and i cant not stop thinking of her at all..i could not sleep at nite too..and i dragged myself to work everyday.. She just sms me to break out and we didnt not talk over the phone or meetup cos i fear i see her i will broke down again and beg for chances...Friends had asked me to give up and move on with my life...but i just cant..i so inlove with her and till now still thinking of a chance she might come back..praying n praying..Its easy say then done...her family had advise me to woo her back after a month or two..
I had not contact her since last week of the breakup she intital..so was she..i wanted to msg her so much...but did not want to..cos i need to cool down myself too..IS this really gone..Can i still have chance she come back again to me..I treated her really good and well..and she treated me good too for the past years till now..she totally change her attudiet towards me..Bros and sisters here please adivse and help me..wat should i do now? -
i think u need to give yourself some time to cry your heart out.. do what ever u need to go thru this period..after all the lamenting, it's time to get back to your senses...
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I think you should try to calm down have a talk with her. Avoiding is not the solution, you can't run away from her forever. If she really still want out, maybe you should ask for a reason, the truth, to make you feel better.
I know its hard to accept but life will have to go on. You will find your true soul mate.
I realised your emotions is very similar to this song. "Should I Stay" by Dreamz FM. The Channel 5 TV series, Chemistry's theme song. -
i know it's a heartache to have someone u love dearly leaving u.. i've been thru it before.. and i share your pain..
what u need to do is calm down after all the emotions run dry.. let go of the past..
no need to ask why and how it happened.. becos even the real truth stares right into your face.. you'll never accept the fact that she has left..
continue to put hope in yourself and the future.. live for the day and never give up.. one day, the storm will be over..
take care.. all of us will be here for you.. -
/me slap a pat onto HeartacheOriginally posted by Heartache:Hi guys..
I so depress, heartbroken and sad now..really felt like ending my life.. Im in my early 30s, planning to get settle down this year with my gal of 4yrs and working so hard for our future..and planned everything.. Last week, she told me she want out of the relationship. My whole world collaspe like bricks..I'll do not how to recovered from it..
It all happened 2months ago..early June she started to treated me coldy..till i could not take it and ask for timeout for her to chose what she wants..and for a month..i'll tried my best to shower all my love to her..and in the end she still want out...I could not take this blow..She the most beautiful gal i ever know and I had wanted so much to spend my rest of my life with her and prmoise to provide her everything..Now she chose out, i so sad and kept crying day and nite whereever i think of her..there so many beautiful memories with her and so many first time whth her..why did she had to treat me like dat..there no symptom at all she change..so sudden..We were still want to see wedding bands in May..
I had been crying constantly for her..alot of ppl might think i am a lamer..but i just cant control myself and i cant not stop thinking of her at all..i could not sleep at nite too..and i dragged myself to work everyday.. She just sms me to break out and we didnt not talk over the phone or meetup cos i fear i see her i will broke down again and beg for chances...Friends had asked me to give up and move on with my life...but i just cant..i so inlove with her and till now still thinking of a chance she might come back..praying n praying..Its easy say then done...her family had advise me to woo her back after a month or two..
I had not contact her since last week of the breakup she intital..so was she..i wanted to msg her so much...but did not want to..cos i need to cool down myself too..IS this really gone..Can i still have chance she come back again to me..I treated her really good and well..and she treated me good too for the past years till now..she totally change her attudiet towards me..Bros and sisters here please adivse and help me..wat should i do now?
Ok, dude - reading the post your posted, there is hardly anything else apart from your overwhelming emotional respond to her decision. I would gald help you along - just tell me
I) what has happen over the course of 4 years (minor or criticial issues in your relationship),
II) why she chose to leave this relationship (there must be a reason)
III) how you and her handle your relationship.
Don't depair - there might still be chance.
Cheers -
Everyone told me to move on..but i just couldnt accept the fact..is so easy to say than done...part of my life is gone..even my family wept for the loss of her..I'll really love this woman..She's young n pretty and will never lack of suitors in her life..She been faithful for the past 4 years with me n treated me so well..why this is happening to me...How could a woman change her heart so fast..I do not know whether to contact her or still remain friends or so..if i do that..i will still clinging a ahope..and when she have a new guy..i will die again..All my friends told me to let her go..but i just could not..i so sadden over it..for the past months and weeks..keep crying n praying for her to come back again...
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Thanks Yunhaier
U got email address..i mailed u in details and tell u wat happen okie..or did u have ICQ..Im really at loss and stress out ..deep down in my heart..i know its gone alreadi..but i still pray a miracle will happen somehow... -
Originally posted by Heartache:Thanks Yunhaier
U got email address..i mailed u in details and tell u wat happen okie..or did u have ICQ..Im really at loss and stress out ..deep down in my heart..i know its gone alreadi..but i still pray a miracle will happen somehow... Private message me -
just know that u're not the only 1 going through this. there are alot out there, here included, going through what u r. just hang in there. cry out if it makes u feel better, or any other methods that u find comfortable. i'm going through this too, for 3 weeks already. things will really get better, slowly.
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This is how he feels... like this song...
Should I Stay
By Dreamz FM
Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found
Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?
Wish youÂ’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angelÂ’s heart
The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livinÂ’ proof of what love is about
ItÂ’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
ItÂ’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I donÂ’t know (I donÂ’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?
You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough IÂ’m down
My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
YouÂ’re still in my thoughts
ItÂ’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
ItÂ’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I donÂ’t know (I donÂ’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?
OooohhÂ…should I stay?
Should I go?
ItÂ’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
ItÂ’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I donÂ’t know (I donÂ’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should IÂ…?
This time its done
ItÂ’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess itÂ’s sad just the same
I guess the truth
DoesnÂ’t matter somehow
But you were livinÂ’ proof of what love is aboutÂ… -
my tears seems never end..think of her ..see her photo..see her msg..see her email..i wept over n over again.. at nite..while driving..almost everyday..i just couldnt believe it..i'll really wish my grief will b over soon..why is she treat me like dat..I'll really love this woman...I really do not know how to move on..and why is this had to happen to me..i doubt i ever find a similar gal like her again...
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totally same with me. u know, wad i did was i stopped looking at her stuff, everything about her, for 2 days. just go out town, though its difficult cos of all the memories. but just be out, mix with the crowd, do something u like, be with ur colleagues or frens. or u can find someone willing to lend u his/her listening her to. it helps alot to say out everything u keep inside ur heart.Originally posted by Heartache:my tears seems never end..think of her ..see her photo..see her msg..see her email..i wept over n over again.. at nite..while driving..almost everyday..i just couldnt believe it..i'll really wish my grief will b over soon..why is she treat me like dat..I'll really love this woman...I really do not know how to move on..and why is this had to happen to me..i doubt i ever find a similar gal like her again...
diff people take diff time to recover from their r/s, depending on how deep the love the couple had for each other. but got to know that unless she comes back bcos she still loves u, the situation won't change. don't set urself a time limit to be sad, sorrowful, angry, empty..... give urself time, take things slowly. eventually u'll crawl out. i'm already 1/2way there after a 3yr r/s. so i believe u can do it as well. take good care.
i don't believe in God, but this 1 saying that kept me going: "God made things this way, because he may have something better for u in the future." everyone has flaws, so maybe u can take this opportunity to reflect on ur flaws, wad went wrong in ur r/s, and change for the better, so the next girl who walks into ur life, she will be a very lucky girl. -
Originally posted by AaLviNn:
VERY WELL-SAID.
totally same with me. u know, wad i did was i stopped looking at her stuff, everything about her, for 2 days. just go out town, though its difficult cos of all the memories. but just be out, mix with the crowd, do something u like, be with ur colleagues or frens. or u can find someone willing to lend u his/her listening her to. it helps alot to say out everything u keep inside ur heart.
diff people take diff time to recover from their r/s, depending on how deep the love the couple had for each other. but got to know that unless she comes back bcos she still loves u, the situation won't change. don't set urself a time limit to be sad, sorrowful, angry, empty..... give urself time, take things slowly. eventually u'll crawl out. i'm already 1/2way there after a 3yr r/s. so i believe u can do it as well. take good care.
i don't believe in God, but this 1 saying that kept me going: "God made things this way, because he may have something [b]better for u in the future." everyone has flaws, so maybe u can take this opportunity to reflect on ur flaws, wad went wrong in ur r/s, and change for the better, so the next girl who walks into ur life, she will be a very lucky girl.[/b] -
Better take care of him well?Originally posted by Yunhaier: Private message me
And REMEMBER. Theories are just theories. Don't give people false hope.
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yea, better to give the cold hard truth. the best medicine is always the hardest to swallow
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Originally posted by Devil1976:Better take care of him well?
And REMEMBER. Theories are just theories. Don't give people false hope. Hmmm.....i like this. -
Your premier membership has expired and image in signature is not working anymore....Originally posted by M©+square: Hmmm.....i like this. -
Whoops, kinda late but... yesh I will, Mr Devil.Originally posted by Devil1976:Better take care of him well?
And REMEMBER. Theories are just theories. Don't give people false hope.
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Hehheh... How it turned out to be? He contacted you?Originally posted by Yunhaier:Whoops, kinda late but... yesh I will, Mr Devil. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hehheh... How it turned out to be? He contacted you? He pm, he called and we met. Well, I suppose things are under control for now - though isn't exactly towards his favour.
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Dear Heartache
i can understand wat u are goin thru now.. and jus as alvin said, u are not alone.. things will be better soon... not immediately but soon..
u have every reason to be upset.. u have every rite to cry.. my gf and i.. i dun know how much longer we are gona hold out.. but jus like u.. we have made plans for the future.. we have even drawn up the renovation plans and went to see a designer at a home fair for a quotation.. it is gona be a deep blow to me if the break up happens.. worst thing is i have to see her everyday..
but we have to be strong.. strong because we are not onli here to be a boyfriend of a husband.. we have other roles as a son, a brother, a friend..
i duno if i helped u.. cos i am also lost myself.. but i believe tat if she is the one.. she will come back to me.
hold true ur feelings and dun cheapen the love by turning it into hatred..
good luck to u and take care
God bless -
It isnt easy to let go.
There's always a first time to everything. This maybe the most painful loss of a loved one but also in learning to let go.
You may find that there maybe a chance there.
No doubt. There's also a 50% chance that she wldnt agree and stick to her decision.
You may like to try...i mean by all means. I wish you good luck.
However, see that she has decided to let go. It isnt easy as well to decide so unless she has enough reasons to insist on ending this 4-yrs r/ship. It came as a suprise to me when i read that you hardly even sensed it coming your way. How cld it be? Please do some serious reflection. Sit down, clam down to see what has been ahppening for the past four yrs.
When a feeling dies, it really did. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier: He pm, he called and we met. Well, I suppose things are under control for now - though isn't exactly towards his favour. You should open a couselling centre and take in students.
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agree with you totallyOriginally posted by Parka: You should open a couselling centre and take in students. -
have anyone wonder why do the gals wanna breakup?
are they tired of the relationship? seeing someone new? or they have change their perspectives, that they find u no longer fit in?
find out the root of the problem to solve the problem. cutting the surface problems will not help much, only temporary. its either a do or die thing, isn't it? either u are or are not. u can try ur best to be what u want, only if both party can agree to it.
not sure how to help u salvage the relationship also, cos we don't know what happen exactly. and it might not be convience to tell the whole story out here.
but, do know that many other people still love u, as a friend, a family member, a colleague, etc. they will try to help u as much as possible too.