I fell in love with somebody's girl
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I bet this isn't something new out there ...
Met this girl a month ago , she is everything i wanted for a girl friend ... but theres a somebody in her life. She mentioned that they went stead pretty recent .. fate really likes to play tricks on us , if we weren't meant for each other , then why let us meet ? If I met her earlier , would things be different ?
This somebody ain't a friend of mine . He's still in the army ..
If the guy breaks up with her , i got a chance but she gets hurt.
I dun wanna see her hurt .. shld I just let go ? its tearing me apart ..
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welcome to sgforums, nice nick btw.
no this isn't a very new problem. it's actually pretty damn common.
let's tackle the obvious problem. u have feelings for an attached girl. obviously u've already screwed up by letting urself fall for such a person. no worries, i've done it b4 too, not berating u or anything.
generally speaking u have to get out. it's pretty simple really. if she stays with her guy, u will continually feel like sh[/i]it. if she leaves the guy for you, you're gonna be filled with insecurity. u know the usual "if she can do it to him, she can do it to me" crap? well that and more will come to ur mind. either way, u LOSE.
the "compromise" to this situation would be to keep her at a "decent" distance. now this distance is gonna be hard to control. of course u both still wanna be in touch and "be friends" and all that, but u have to be resolute that u will not harbour thoughts in any other way than friendship. some pple can do it, some can't. if u can't, cut all ties. if u can, then i hope u are strong enuff. ways to tell if u are on the right path is that u start looking for other suitable partners, opening ur heart to other opportunities that come knocking, and even start chasing other pple. for the right reasons of course. you're after all single, and should exercise that right. why be single in reality but be attached to a (some say, immoral) hope?
now the not so obvious problem. how do u know u LOVE her? if u can ascertain that it isn't love that u are feeling (which i highly suspect) then u will have a more logical and rational frame of mind to make urself feel better. if u keep telling urself u love her, u're not gonna get yourself out of the hole. are u sure u love her? how much time have u spent with her? how comfortable is she with u despite having a bf, which would gnaw at her conscience if she does have feelings for u too? with all these hanging over ur heads, how well can u all get to know each other to determine love?
i believe love cannot blossom under such circumtances. as if love blossoming over FAVOURABLE conditions these days isn't hard enuff. now u have unfavourable conditions.. even worse rite?
i speak from experiece. i have fallen for attached girls. girls have fallen for me while i've been attached. i have been with girls that were attached and broke it off becos of me. i have been with a girl that broke off with me becos of another guy. none of these experiences were very sweet.
no one wins....
good luck, and come back often and post more. u may find ur gf here.. many girls here.. many single too!
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OK.. now you've read the post above. It's quite true lor. Dun waste yr time for uncertain thing. Better looking for someone else lor. Still many nice singles gal out there waiting for u to catch. Just open your eyes wide and dun shut yr heart. Still a long way to go bro. You're still very very young. k ? I wish you good luck then.
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You said you met this girl a month ago - what makes you think she is everything you wanted for a girl? Probably physically she fits the bills, but suitability is probably a distance from your dream girl.Originally posted by scenic:I bet this isn't something new out there ...
Met this girl a month ago , she is everything i wanted for a girl friend ... but theres a somebody in her life. She mentioned that they went stead pretty recent .. fate really likes to play tricks on us , if we weren't meant for each other , then why let us meet ? If I met her earlier , would things be different ?
This somebody ain't a friend of mine . He's still in the army ..
If the guy breaks up with her , i got a chance but she gets hurt.
I dun wanna see her hurt .. shld I just let go ? its tearing me apart .. 
Fate play tricks on you?
Harsh mode: on:
what makes you think that she would feel the same way as you? You mentioned that her bf is in army and you got a chance to chase her despite her unavailable status. Then again - what makes you think you definitely can get her? And one last thing: by getting her, can you really give her happiness, though inmeasurable, more than her current bf?
Harsh mode: Off You are undergoing infatuation period. Take heed not to speed too fast - because you may hit onto other cars on the road.
Quote of the day: Liking someone doesn't mean that you have to be with them.
Cheers -
yunnie~~
u pack a hard punch man...
*siamz*
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*ouch*
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Don't worry , no hard feelings felt ... actually I saw this coming. Criticisms & comments , I'm open to it .. By posting the topic, I was just letting off some steam la ... trying to make myself feel betta talking abt it .. (some things are after all , still hard to swallow even for guys with big hearts)
Don't worry abt me .. I know the consequences here , I'll just let nature takes its course. I guess maybe LOVE is still too strong a word here ... maybe slight affection or affinity ? What is meant to be, will be right ? (consoling myself in the end ...haha)
Most Importantly , I want to cherish her as a friend .. I won't wanna do anything stupid right now to jeopardise our friendship. She can be a great girl and a great friend. -
hmm.....i know its easy to say than be done. since she is already attached....all u can do is be friends with her. no point spoiling other people's relationship....if u r in it will u want others to do that to u? if u think u really really like her....let her know and perhaps wait??
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Point taken ... thanks tetra.Originally posted by NeonTetra:hmm.....i know its easy to say than be done. since she is already attached....all u can do is be friends with her. no point spoiling other people's relationship....if u r in it will u want others to do that to u? if u think u really really like her....let her know and perhaps wait??
I will wait for the oppotunity but I rather keep mum abt feelings .. you know how girls are , sensitive abt such things. You let them know , and they will shy away ... thats not what I want .. I believe I speak for the majority of men. -
we shouldn't built our happiness on someone esle's
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"shouldn't" does not necessarily end up as "won't"
just like "should be" isn't always "is"...
besides, Cupid tends to make sport of us...Originally posted by =-Noelle-=:we shouldn't built our happiness on someone esle's -
Originally posted by scenic:Don't worry , no hard feelings felt ... actually I saw this coming. Criticisms & comments , I'm open to it .. By posting the topic, I was just letting off some steam la ... trying to make myself feel betta talking abt it .. (some things are after all , still hard to swallow even for guys with big hearts)
Don't worry abt me .. I know the consequences here , I'll just let nature takes its course. I guess maybe LOVE is still too strong a word here ... maybe slight affection or affinity ? What is meant to be, will be right ? (consoling myself in the end ...haha)
Most Importantly , I want to cherish her as a friend .. I won't wanna do anything stupid right now to jeopardise our friendship. She can be a great girl and a great friend. No offense intended at all in the first place. You see the highlighted note above - you took just enough time to analysis yourself and make reasonable decision about your own problem.
PS: I wish you well.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Pretty well-said.
You said you met this girl a month ago - what makes you think she is everything you wanted for a girl? Probably physically she fits the bills, but suitability is probably a distance from your dream girl. Fate play tricks on you?
[b]Harsh mode: on:
what makes you think that she would feel the same way as you? You mentioned that her bf is in army and you got a chance to chase her despite her unavailable status. Then again - what makes you think you definitely can get her? And one last thing: by getting her, can you really give her happiness, though inmeasurable, more than her current bf?
Harsh mode: Off You are undergoing infatuation period. Take heed not to speed too fast - because you may hit onto other cars on the road.
Quote of the day: Liking someone doesn't mean that you have to be with them.
Cheers[/b]
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im glad u finally got it all worked out..Originally posted by scenic:Don't worry , no hard feelings felt ... actually I saw this coming. Criticisms & comments , I'm open to it .. By posting the topic, I was just letting off some steam la ... trying to make myself feel betta talking abt it .. (some things are after all , still hard to swallow even for guys with big hearts)
Don't worry abt me .. I know the consequences here , I'll just let nature takes its course. I guess maybe LOVE is still too strong a word here ... maybe slight affection or affinity ? What is meant to be, will be right ? (consoling myself in the end ...haha)
Most Importantly , I want to cherish her as a friend .. I won't wanna do anything stupid right now to jeopardise our friendship. She can be a great girl and a great friend.
all the best in finding e perfect 1 for u.. -
haha ... u seem to be speaking from experience ... must be old bird (lao jiao) already ... kanna 1 times too many right ?Originally posted by the Bear:"shouldn't" does not necessarily end up as "won't"
just like "should be" isn't always "is"...
besides, Cupid tends to make sport of us... -
Originally posted by the Bear:"shouldn't" does not necessarily end up as "won't"
just like "should be" isn't always "is"...
besides, Cupid tends to make sport of us... true true i guess we should try not to ba.. -
yeah .. well , like I said , was just trying to let off steam. I was drinking when I was doing that topic , not really sober , after a nights sleep , feel much betta already . Thanks again..Originally posted by Yunhaier: No offense intended at all in the first place. You see the highlighted note above - you took just enough time to analysis yourself and make reasonable decision about your own problem.
PS: I wish you well.
Cheers -
jia you jia you! i will cheer you onOriginally posted by scenic:yeah .. well , like I said , was just trying to let off steam. I was drinking when I was doing that topic , not really sober , after a nights sleep , feel much betta already . Thanks again.. 
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easy lar just kill the guy
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gd choiceOriginally posted by BabyPanda:easy lar just kill the guy -
Thats a lose-lose situation ... I get jailed for life , may even face death penalty PLUS , she gets hurt and hates me for life. Now , we don't want that to happen do we ? If you were in my shoes , I think you know what I mean.Originally posted by BabyPanda:easy lar just kill the guy -
pua lan ehz....jia lat larz.....ebly night sure thinking of her breaking up wif her stead......then...ehhehhehehehe.....kidding larz...anyway juz let it be larz...scully later u really get her liaoz arhz....the feeling gone no kick sian already arhz......pua lan worse arhz.....
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Devil, u and me are on Yunhaier payroll. lol~Originally posted by Devil1976:Pretty well-said.
Well, the situation is pretty clear now. I wish u scenic the best! -
Originally posted by BabyPanda:easy lar just kill the guy
god bless ppl like u. -
On the contrary , I dun think much abt her breaking up or what ... hey , I wanna be the good guy here but not that it never crossed my mind b4. But it doesn't matter ... whats most impt she still regards me as a friend and of course not letting her know or else I'm gonna see alot of disappearing acts performed by her.Originally posted by S@mz_Rev0LuT|on:pua lan ehz....jia lat larz.....ebly night sure thinking of her breaking up wif her stead......then...ehhehhehehehe.....kidding larz...anyway juz let it be larz...scully later u really get her liaoz arhz....the feeling gone no kick sian already arhz......pua lan worse arhz.....