Originally posted by men_@_arms:
I am so confused about whether to commit myself to a possible relationship to a SIngaporean girl here... as in she has expressed interest in me, which is a rare thing for girls to do in my experience here. She asks if I'll stay in Singapore or return to my home country, I like her and she likes me, there does not seem to me much problems but, it would be an interracial committment, that's where the problem comes in,
My mum is a Chinese, my dad is a white guy. Sometimes it is very hard for them to communicate even though they both speak English and are educated... my dad racistly says that the Chinese cant communicate properly. My mum is kinda loud and shrieky, just like i think most of our mothers are, and occasionally my mum and dad argue and fight over things, it can get very LOUD and traumatizing to be exposed to.
I just worry that my romance with any local girl will be like my parents. My western friends say that West will be West, East will be East, impossible to merge the 2 without conflict; they tell me to go home and find a "civilised girl". My Chinese friends just simply say "I dun know lor..." or "nevermind larrr".
I am so confused and scared, because i don't want to be a mean person or be involved in arguements with a partner. Now i am hurt cos sometimes my parents argue, but in the future when they are gone, I fear that I will be the one who argues... or she will, or something.
Whatever advice i have sought from my friends is kinda not helping, my white friends are all filled with racist jargon for the locals and my local friends don't quite understand what i should do.
You know something? The root problem of this matter doesn't involve with the difference in race - it simply involves your fear and public view about such matters.
Why fear you may ask - you fear that your present relationship could mimic similiar situation in your own family and you are oppressed deep inside to advance towards your desire of having a relationship with the girl whom you fancy. The thing about this is that - its only a couple's relationship; its not marriage yet.
Many could land in a BGR relationship - but not many are suitable quality for marriage grounds.
'What East, what west, what white friends racist comment, what Chinese can't communicate probably.........'
Are you leading the relationship for you? Or helping you to make the decision?
No right?
Then why are you listening to mundane comments other than the most important one - yourself?
You are the one that likes her and she in return as well - who cares about what the world thinks. I feel that the subconscious fear in you must be correct and solve from within - then your views wouldn't be as narrow as before.
P.S: Problems in relationship exist in EVERYONE's relation - some have more, some have less. Some have certain problems, some don't have. The issue does not revolve around the problems - its how you handle and how you go about solving it.
Cheers
