jealousy
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hm.. dis is a follow up of my previous topic, for those who read that 1, u shld understand.. rite now i'm having this jealous feeling whenever i think of my ex, and her boy.. wonder what are they doing, imagining of them being so happy, she enjoying the company of her bf, and that bf is not me.
i told her its not easy for me to let go of her, so i'd keep waiting for her, and she told me that even if she don't have a bf, she won't come back to me. i dunno.. i'm just following what my heart desires, and if i have to fight against my heart, it'll just be a torture to me. so i told her i'd wait, at least until i really will be able to replace her some time in the distant future.. and of cos, forcing her to be with me, will not have a happy ending in the end.
so for now, its that jealousy feeling, and i really dunno how to cope with it. she's being happy and all, at the expense of my happiness, cos she wun noe how i've been suffering, waiting for that little chance that she may be back. guess some of u have been through what i am going through, perhaps there might be solutions/ways for me to help myself.. ) :
forgot to add, too, that i'm going ns this coming tues, 26/8 -
It is good that you know she will be replaced by another girl in the future. So basically, you know that the main solution is time. How long? Up to you.
This jealousy feeling of yours is normal. Cause you are still very much in love with you. Or should I say, you still can't let go of her. But there is one thing you have to know, she no longer bears any feeling for you. This is the cold hard truth. Sorry mate, you just have to accept. The fact that she has found herself another guy, and is very happy with him says all.
Firstly, you have to accept the fact. Know that she no longer likes you. And for this very moment, no matter what you do, she is just not going to go back to you. Anything else, she will probably find you irritating and it may worsen any possible happenings in the future. That is if there is any...
You have to leave her alone now, if you have to listen to her, know what and how she is doing, drop her a few sms over a few days. Let's say, maybe once or twice a week? Secondly, avoid trying to know too much about her life right now. Avoid asking questions about her and her new guy. In short, just try to avoid her. Try not to go back to the usual haunts that you and her been to, and avoid doing things that can possibly remind you of her. Discard everything and anything she gave you. If you can't bear to throw them away, gather them in a box and keep it out of your sight.
Whenever you know she is going to take over your mind again, stop yourself. Tell yourself that she is happy right now, with another guy. She no longer needs you. Everything she once said to you, once did with you is already history.Treat this as a lesson in your life. Like you said, you are going into the army soon. Don't take this burden into it. Take this as an opportunity to learn more things, make new friends, and reflect on yourself. Tell yourself what have you gain, and what have you lost. Reflect on your weaknesses and try to improve them. Make yourself a better man that you, yourself can be proud of.
So relax man. I know it's always the same thing that everyone have told you, but it's really time. Do not bear false hopes that she may return to you, in the near future or whatsoever, cause all these, are merely illusions.
Let nature takes its course, take things in your stride. Actually, if you can... chop off all ties with her. What's yours will be yours, what's not will never be. Leave everything to fate man. -
Originally posted by AaLviNn:hm.. dis is a follow up of my previous topic, for those who read that 1, u shld understand.. rite now i'm having this jealous feeling whenever i think of my ex, and her boy.. wonder what are they doing, imagining of them being so happy, she enjoying the company of her bf, and that bf is not me.
i told her its not easy for me to let go of her, so i'd keep waiting for her, and she told me that even if she don't have a bf, she won't come back to me. i dunno.. i'm just following what my heart desires, and if i have to fight against my heart, it'll just be a torture to me. so i told her i'd wait, at least until i really will be able to replace her some time in the distant future.. and of cos, forcing her to be with me, will not have a happy ending in the end.
so for now, its that jealousy feeling, and i really dunno how to cope with it. she's being happy and all, at the expense of my happiness, cos she wun noe how i've been suffering, waiting for that little chance that she may be back. guess some of u have been through what i am going through, perhaps there might be solutions/ways for me to help myself.. ) :
forgot to add, too, that i'm going ns this coming tues, 26/8 Jealousy? Do you have the position to do anything about it?
She gave a very strong hint that you no longer stand any chance - I don't see why you should hold on. She has ALREADY moved on with her life - and she knew that the past belonged to but a memory of the past.
You are left behind
Your jealousy stem from the roots of the past - where she was once yours - now isn't.
Why cling on a hopeless case?
P.S: Are you a scorpio?
Quote of the day: I can survive without light, but not without hope.
Cheers -
I really appreciate what you've said, and they all really do make sense.Originally posted by Wind:It is good that you know she will be replaced by another girl in the future. So basically, you know that the main solution is time. How long? Up to you.
This jealousy feeling of yours is normal. Cause you are still very much in love with you. Or should I say, you still can't let go of her. But there is one thing you have to know, she no longer bears any feeling for you. This is the cold hard truth. Sorry mate, you just have to accept. The fact that she has found herself another guy, and is very happy with him says all. Firstly, you have to accept the fact. Know that she no longer likes you. And for this very moment, no matter what you do, she is just not going to go back to you. Anything else, she will probably find you irritating and it may worsen any possible happenings in the future. That is if there is any...
You have to leave her alone now, if you have to listen to her, know what and how she is doing, drop her a few sms over a few days. Let's say, maybe once or twice a week? Secondly, avoid trying to know too much about her life right now. Avoid asking questions about her and her new guy. In short, just try to avoid her. Try not to go back to the usual haunts that you and her been to, and avoid doing things that can possibly remind you of her. Discard everything and anything she gave you. If you can't bear to throw them away, gather them in a box and keep it out of your sight.
Whenever you know she is going to take over your mind again, stop yourself. Tell yourself that she is happy right now, with another guy. She no longer needs you. Everything she once said to you, once did with you is already history.Treat this as a lesson in your life. Like you said, you are going into the army soon. Don't take this burden into it. Take this as an opportunity to learn more things, make new friends, and reflect on yourself. Tell yourself what have you gain, and what have you lost. Reflect on your weaknesses and try to improve them. Make yourself a better man that you, yourself can be proud of.
So relax man. I know it's always the same thing that everyone have told you, but it's really time. Do not bear false hopes that she may return to you, in the near future or whatsoever, cause all these, are merely illusions.
Let nature takes its course, take things in your stride. Actually, if you can... chop off all ties with her. What's yours will be yours, what's not will never be. Leave everything to fate man.
I haven't called her in weeks, and I'm sure u know, its an uphill task every time I had the urge to call. I did sms once awhile. We do keep in contact, that's only thru ICQ.
But the problem is I haven't got many people whom I could talk to about these, and I'm living alone, so basically its tough to keep everything inside me. So I blog everyday, and she'll go take a look whenever she's free. The things I typed on my blog, are my true feelings, like "I can't let go.." "Wish she'll be back" all those, because I don't want to blog all those that aren't from my heart. And she'll leave me bombshells most of the time on ICQ, quoting my sentences, then applying her harsh words. Its really not helping me at all, and the whole time she keeps saying "I don't want to give u false hope that I'm coming back, I'm sorry to make u cry again". It just doesn't make any sense. Everytime she did this I had to pick myself up all over again.
We practially roamed the entire town area, so in the beginning it was difficult for me.. those memories kept flooding my mind when I was in town either by myself or with my friends, and those memories that came, really changed my mood instantly. But I kept myself composed. Now I'm getting better, w/o thinking of her so much, and yea, I kept the stuff she gave me into a box, cept for the stuff toy which is still on my bed. Maybe I'm jealous, maybe I'm envious, maybe I still worry for her. But yea, all these gotta stop, sometime. How long, I don't know as well.
Thanks for your comforting words.. I'll rem them. God bless you, kind soul
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oops repeated post.
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yo bro, it's just time to let go... since she already doesn't like u, guess it's time for u to move on...
anyways if u really care for her, just let her be happy... 
if she's happy wif her current bf, be happy for her too!! no point gettin jealous over this. anyways ns is a good time for u to not be attached coz it'll realli put a strain on yr relationship... since you're going to be enlisted, i presume you're abt 19+? still young and have many more chances to know more girls and hopefully would find the rite one for u someday. 
so all the best for yr army life!! take care! -
Guess u r rite. Probably its the next stage of the recovering-from-a-breakup that i'm going through. I don't feel so sad anymore, so now probably its the jealousy part.. Not sure about that..Originally posted by Yunhaier: Jealousy? Do you have the position to do anything about it?
She gave a very strong hint that you no longer stand any chance - I don't see why you should hold on. She has ALREADY moved on with her life - and she knew that the past belonged to but a memory of the past. You are left behind
Your jealousy stem from the roots of the past - where she was once yours - now isn't.
Why cling on a hopeless case?
P.S: Are you a scorpio?
Quote of the day: I can survive without light, but not without hope.
Cheers
Actually yea, its a hopeless case. My mind knows it, and it wants me to move on, but my heart, not yet.. Its all, about time I guess. "Time heals all wounds" "Time will tell"..
I'm a pisces.. -
yea, the day she told me she had a bf, i knew there is no chance, but i was holding on, deceiving myself, thinking probably its not true and all. was so torturing, and don't worry, cos i'm picking myself up.Originally posted by frOst^~^nOva:yo bro, it's just time to let go... since she already doesn't like u, guess it's time for u to move on... anyways if u really care for her, just let her be happy... if she's happy wif her current bf, be happy for her too!! no point gettin jealous over this. anyways ns is a good time for u to not be attached coz it'll realli put a strain on yr relationship... since you're going to be enlisted, i presume you're abt 19+? still young and have many more chances to know more girls and hopefully would find the rite one for u someday. so all the best for yr army life!! take care!
of cos, being a gentleman, we'll say "i'll be happy for u if u r happy wif ur bf", but in actual fact, deep inside us, we lament, why this "bf" is not us. at least to me its like this. i'm not getting attached until i totally put her into my history book, which will take quite a long time, and yea, with this ns thing, i dun wanna have a gf who needs to wait n wait n wait for weekend to arrive just to see me. ain't fair for her ya?
yea, i'm 19+.. ns will be a whole new chapter in my life. like most stories, the ending of a chapter always suck. same goes for my life i guess. n when the rite girl comes along, she'll be more well off than my ex, because of this breaking up, i've learnt alot, about myself, and about other stuff.
thanks for your well wishes. i'll save up all the replies from you guys cos these words are very encouraging, and inspirational, esp when i'm feeling down again. ( : -
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Originally posted by AaLviNn:Guess u r rite. Probably its the next stage of the recovering-from-a-breakup that i'm going through. I don't feel so sad anymore, so now probably its the jealousy part.. Not sure about that..
Actually yea, its a hopeless case. My mind knows it, and it wants me to move on, but my heart, not yet.. Its all, about time I guess. "Time heals all wounds" "Time will tell"..
I'm a pisces.. Pisces!
As well expected; the water sign group.
Yeah I believe you will move on in due time; just that you wished to lingered a little while more. However, do take note that your new life begin as quickly as the minute you decide to put everything into memories and walk forward into the future.
/me slap a pat onto AaLviNn
Cheers -
Yea, like sort of like deja vu... I don't know how to explain. Its painful to be in this state, but at the same time, I CHOOSE to be like this. Probably she never spoke nicely to me about this breakup, instead she lied here and there, thus I don't know whichever she said was real, which wasn't. This could be the reason why I'm holding on to the thin piece of thread, the hope that I'll manage to get her back. I mean, after all that I've tried to convince her, she wouldn't budge, furthermore she got so quickly. Was telling myself "Maybe she don't have a bf" "Maybe she's just punishing me for a little while". But then, these few days, I'm beginning to return to reality, so those little hopes aren't valid anymore, thus my mood since day 1 was like ________/¯\____.
I don't know already what I'm trying to say. Am so disillusioned, so tortured, so worn out. -
eh! pls wake up ar ... dont be a ku niang ... how to serve NS like that ..
she has no feelng for you already ar ... dont think so much ... serve NS first .. -
Then, sorry for being a ku niang.
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the best way to get her out of ur life is to stop all contacts with her... dun sms, icq or wait outside her house to see her... if not u'll nv forget her... especially when she's already with someone else...
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yea, i haven't called nor sms for a long time, and no longer icq-ing her since a few days ago when she icq-ed me some horrible words. i told her i won't icq her anymore, then asked her not to icq me as well, just give me some peace. i was picking myself up fine until that day.
but thanks anyway, for ur suggestions ( : -
which force are u serving? Army, Air force or Navy?Originally posted by AaLviNn:yea, i haven't called nor sms for a long time, and no longer icq-ing her since a few days ago when she icq-ed me some horrible words. i told her i won't icq her anymore, then asked her not to icq me as well, just give me some peace. i was picking myself up fine until that day.
but thanks anyway, for ur suggestions ( : -
Originally posted by Yunhaier: Pisces!
As well expected; the water sign group. -
Hehe...Originally posted by Devil1976: