*sigh*
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Haha...just found out 3 days ago that the gal i'm interested in already got a boyfriend before even i know her........sad case....
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how long have you known her?
Don't be sad... many more gals out there with no bf waiting for you to know them
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aiyo, how come so many people tonight so fan and sad..
chheeeer up!!!
bu yao xiang zhe yang duo le hao ma?
smile smile smile!
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Angel mode:Originally posted by BrenBren:Haha...just found out 3 days ago that the gal i'm interested in already got a boyfriend before even i know her........sad case....
Well, since she has a boyfriend, its time to move on.
Devil mode:
So what? Its only a boyfriend. All is fair in love and war.
Angel mode:
Well, since people already have a boyfriend, why must you go be the third party in their relationship?
Devil mode:
If she fell for me, doesn't it show strong sign that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't what it is like if she is with me. I can give her happiness much more than her present boyfriend.
Angel mode:
Arrogance will be your death. What makes you think you will succeed in her liking you?
Devil mode:
Seduction targeted at the weak strategic aspect in their relationship - probably nothing can go wrong.
Angel mode:
You said 'Probably' - means you ain't sure yourself. Why take risk and ruin people relationship? Afterall, if you truely love her, you don't want to see her get hurt right?
Devil mode:
What makes you think this hurt isn't a blessing in disguise? I am not that great - I only know about my love for her and what I could do for her.
Yunhaier AA mode:
In reality - situations like this is dirt-common. In the end, it all boils down to whether you decide to heed the angel or the devil's words. (Note that angel isn't the 'good/correct' choice and neither is devil the 'bad/evil' choice - its just the everyday characters in your life and the decision that you would have to ultimately make - there is simply no right or wrong.
Cheers -
Yunhaier AA mode:
Yun, just for curiosity's sake... what's your take if you were given this situation? In reality - situations like this is dirt-common. In the end, it all boils down to whether you decide to heed the angel or the devil's words. (Note that angel isn't the 'good/correct' choice and neither is devil the 'bad/evil' choice - its just the everyday characters in your life and the decision that you would have to ultimately make - there is simply no right or wrong.
Cheers [/b]
What would you do? -
Originally posted by Wind:Yun, just for curiosity's sake... what's your take if you were given this situation?
What would you do? I have an Aries Moon: so when it comes to emotions and relationship, I have a fighting spirit (the fight for the one I like/love). However, it doesn't mean that I must get them as girlfriends - I would like them as friend and thorough check things out....
Rule 1: The one that you like may not be suitable for you.
Rule 1.1: What do I want out from it.
It differ from case to case basis: from my position and status, comparing to her postion and status, together with both internal and external analysis.
Ok, presume that the external enviroment is a simple structure and the above points are positive - I will chase even has a boyfriend (unless she is married).
I don't fall in love easily and people whom I will consider very much are people who give me that kind of feel when I see them the first time and the same subsequently. I know what I am looking for and those that fits the bill, together with the chemistry are a risk factor to me. I don't know how to explain that - its all the matter of feel - Karmic and magnetic attention I guess (water sign people as more subjected - Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces). Aiya, basically I am the think-too-much kind. However, if I know her bf, in person, I wouldn't chase her at all. Its kinda of a turn-off to me.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
[b]Angel mode:
Well, since she has a boyfriend, its time to move on.
Devil mode:
So what? Its only a boyfriend. All is fair in love and war.
Angel mode:
Well, since people already have a boyfriend, why must you go be the third party in their relationship?
Devil mode:
If she fell for me, doesn't it show strong sign that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't what it is like if she is with me. I can give her happiness much more than her present boyfriend.
Angel mode:
Arrogance will be your death. What makes you think you will succeed in her liking you?
Devil mode:
Seduction targeted at the weak strategic aspect in their relationship - probably nothing can go wrong.
Angel mode:
You said 'Probably' - means you ain't sure yourself. Why take risk and ruin people relationship? Afterall, if you truely love her, you don't want to see her get hurt right?
Devil mode:
What makes you think this hurt isn't a blessing in disguise? I am not that great - I only know about my love for her and what I could do for her.
Yunhaier AA mode: In reality - situations like this is dirt-common. In the end, it all boils down to whether you decide to heed the angel or the devil's words. (Note that angel isn't the 'good/correct' choice and neither is devil the 'bad/evil' choice - its just the everyday characters in your life and the decision that you would have to ultimately make - there is simply no right or wrong.
Cheers [/b]
are you a professional counsellor? -
ask yourself....do u want to have regrets?
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it doesn't stop you from being her friend..
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Originally posted by =-Noelle-=: are you a professional counsellor? No I am not - if I know where I can learn to be, probably i will.
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Yunhaier
[b]Angel mode:
Well, since she has a boyfriend, its time to move on.
Devil mode:
So what? Its only a boyfriend. All is fair in love and war.
Angel mode:
Well, since people already have a boyfriend, why must you go be the third party in their relationship?
Devil mode:
If she fell for me, doesn't it show strong sign that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't what it is like if she is with me. I can give her happiness much more than her present boyfriend.
Angel mode:
Arrogance will be your death. What makes you think you will succeed in her liking you?
Devil mode:
Seduction targeted at the weak strategic aspect in their relationship - probably nothing can go wrong.
Angel mode:
You said 'Probably' - means you ain't sure yourself. Why take risk and ruin people relationship? Afterall, if you truely love her, you don't want to see her get hurt right?
Devil mode:
What makes you think this hurt isn't a blessing in disguise? I am not that great - I only know about my love for her and what I could do for her.
Yunhaier AA mode: In reality - situations like this is dirt-common. In the end, it all boils down to whether you decide to heed the angel or the devil's words. (Note that angel isn't the 'good/correct' choice and neither is devil the 'bad/evil' choice - its just the everyday characters in your life and the decision that you would have to ultimately make - there is simply no right or wrong.
Cheers [/b]
Thanks for your advise. I notice that the advise you give is usually very helpful. But do you think i should at least try to tell her how i feel for although i do agree it is not right to be a third party and i might not be successful even if i will to be one. It is not that i want to be the evil one to do something to spolit someone relationship but this is the 1st time i really feel for someone and feel that i should at least tell her how i feel but do scare of what the outcome might be like (she just stop been my friend after i tell her). A past relationship end up sour due to my lack of courage to tell the other party how i feel for her and i do feel regret for it. Now i do not really want this regret to happen again. So, what youy think? Should i tell her or not? In what way should i tell her about this? I had been thinking about this for the past few days and your advise might be able to help me to decide.Thanks again.
BrenBren -
About 4 monthsOriginally posted by ernestantan:how long have you known her?
Don't be sad... many more gals out there with no bf waiting for you to know them -
Haha...Thank you for your encouragement. I am alight lah. Use to this kind of things happning on me liaoOriginally posted by =-Noelle-=:aiyo, how come so many people tonight so fan and sad..
chheeeer up!!!
bu yao xiang zhe yang duo le hao ma?
smile smile smile! -
I do not as this kind of regret did happen to me before. Thats why i had to desire to find out at least her reaction to my feeling for her, no matter if the answer is positive or negative. All i want is an answer to questions like " What will happen if i told her about it?", " What will her reaction be like?", instead of having the doubths....Originally posted by SimiDaiJi:ask yourself....do u want to have regrets? -
Haha..that i know. But i am wondering if you will stop been my friend if i told her how i feel?Originally posted by sillyme:it doesn't stop you from being her friend.. -
it's a delicate thing... took us forever to actually tell each other how we actually felt.. i didn't know she felt that way, neither did she know i felt for her..
we were just too afraid to lose the friendship...
took forever slowly, slowly... some hints dropped, and if picked up, move slowly too
hope it works outOriginally posted by BrenBren:Haha..that i know. But i am wondering if you will stop been my friend if i told her how i feel? -
I thank you for your compliment - Kinda sweet to hear such thingy occasionally.Originally posted by BrenBren:Yunhaier
Thanks for your advise. I notice that the advise you give is usually very helpful. But do you think i should at least try to tell her how i feel for although i do agree it is not right to be a third party and i might not be successful even if i will to be one. It is not that i want to be the evil one to do something to spolit someone relationship but this is the 1st time i really feel for someone and feel that i should at least tell her how i feel but do scare of what the outcome might be like (she just stop been my friend after i tell her). A past relationship end up sour due to my lack of courage to tell the other party how i feel for her and i do feel regret for it. Now i do not really want this regret to happen again. So, what youy think? Should i tell her or not? In what way should i tell her about this? I had been thinking about this for the past few days and your advise might be able to help me to decide.Thanks again.
BrenBren
Ok, expressing huh? Before you go about expressing, lets understand what is your intentions and motives you desire inwardly. If you do not wish to get involve in their relationship and purely desire to express yourself just because you wish to let her know (no expectation/hope/whatsoever) - then go ahead and declare. No desire, therefore no disappointment. It also meant that you wouldn't get rejected because in the first place, you wouldn't want initiate to further relationship as well.
However, if you thought through and felt that you wish to give it a shot, despite the presence of her boyfriend - do not reveal your feelings, yet. (This would probably call for another topic).
Actually, most friendship can remain - it depends very much basically on how you go about expressing your feelings. Not the content and idea itself, rather the method of communication. I cannot tell you what's workable or negative expression because everyone has their own unique way of doing things and I wouldn't be there to watch through your love declaration too.
P.S: There is a risk to everything; be it whether to tell or to seal your lips. You can only minimise it this risk and take calulated decisions. And to minimize this risk is to understand what do you really want.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
[b]Angel mode:
Well, since she has a boyfriend, its time to move on.
Devil mode:
So what? Its only a boyfriend. All is fair in love and war.
Angel mode:
Well, since people already have a boyfriend, why must you go be the third party in their relationship?
Devil mode:
If she fell for me, doesn't it show strong sign that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't what it is like if she is with me. I can give her happiness much more than her present boyfriend.
Angel mode:
Arrogance will be your death. What makes you think you will succeed in her liking you?
Devil mode:
Seduction targeted at the weak strategic aspect in their relationship - probably nothing can go wrong.
Angel mode:
You said 'Probably' - means you ain't sure yourself. Why take risk and ruin people relationship? Afterall, if you truely love her, you don't want to see her get hurt right?
Devil mode:
What makes you think this hurt isn't a blessing in disguise? I am not that great - I only know about my love for her and what I could do for her.
Yunhaier AA mode: In reality - situations like this is dirt-common. In the end, it all boils down to whether you decide to heed the angel or the devil's words. (Note that angel isn't the 'good/correct' choice and neither is devil the 'bad/evil' choice - its just the everyday characters in your life and the decision that you would have to ultimately make - there is simply no right or wrong.
Cheers [/b] -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Yunhaier
I thank you for your compliment - Kinda sweet to hear such thingy occasionally.
Ok, expressing huh? Before you go about expressing, lets understand what is your intentions and motives you desire inwardly. If you do not wish to get involve in their relationship and purely desire to express yourself just because you wish to let her know (no expectation/hope/whatsoever) - then go ahead and declare. No desire, therefore no disappointment. It also meant that you wouldn't get rejected because in the first place, you wouldn't want initiate to further relationship as well.
However, if you thought through and felt that you wish to give it a shot, despite the presence of her boyfriend - do not reveal your feelings, yet. (This would probably call for another topic).
Actually, most friendship can remain - it depends very much basically on [b]how you go about expressing your feelings. Not the content and idea itself, rather the method of communication. I cannot tell you what's workable or negative expression because everyone has their own unique way of doing things and I wouldn't be there to watch through your love declaration too.
P.S: There is a risk to everything; be it whether to tell or to seal your lips. You can only minimise it this risk and take calulated decisions. And to minimize this risk is to understand what do you really want.
Cheers [/b]
Thanks again for your reply. Well, like you have quoted saying that i should be clear of what my intentions are by telling her. Well, as she already had a BF, my intention of course is to just tell her how i feel for her and maybe let her remember me.
Haha....and i had already told her how i feel for her last night and she don't really buy it at first until i told her that i'm serious about i had just said and i just wanted her to know how i feel and hope it will not stained our friendship Lucky her response is not negative, in the sense that she still chat and joke with me as though nothing had happened.
I don't know if this kind of reaction is good or not but now i am curious about how she really felt after she know my feeling for her.Haha...I guess i will never find out unless she is willing to tell me on the own. But i guess i will leave this to time and our fate to decide.......
BrenBren -
That's nice.Originally posted by BrenBren:Yunhaier
Thanks again for your reply. Well, like you have quoted saying that i should be clear of what my intentions are by telling her. Well, as she already had a BF, my intention of course is to just tell her how i feel for her and maybe let her remember me.
Haha....and i had already told her how i feel for her last night and she don't really buy it at first until i told her that i'm serious about i had just said and i just wanted her to know how i feel and hope it will not stained our friendship Lucky her response is not negative, in the sense that she still chat and joke with me as though nothing had happened.
I don't know if this kind of reaction is good or not but now i am curious about how she really felt after she know my feeling for her.Haha...I guess i will never find out unless she is willing to tell me on the own. But i guess i will leave this to time and our fate to decide.......
BrenBren
Don't worry, nothing should go wrong. Remaining friends should be no problem. Just make sure the next time you talk or go out with her - act normal, like what you always have been.
Cheers -
tats a good tipOriginally posted by Yunhaier:That's nice.
Don't worry, nothing should go wrong. Remaining friends should be no problem. Just make sure the next time you talk or go out with her - act normal, like what you always have been.
Cheers
i keep tat on my mind too -
Same concept as you see a $10 note on the floor. If you don't quickly pick it up, the others will. So don't wait too long and miss the chance.
