i never thought that
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i need a sincere advice from you all. i'm facing a typical problem with different set of scenarios. i came to singapore for studies and during this semester i met a chinese girl and started to have feelings about her. although i haven't expressed myself. becuase i fear many things. i'm not chinese, belong to different religion, langauge and race. i met her just 2 months back and it will be too early to say her anything. but i'm finishing my studies this november. initially i was planning to go back but now i'm thinking othterwise becuase she has one more year to go and i want to stay around her. but these days it is very difficult to find job here in singapore so staying in singapore without a job is out of question.
now what should i do? i can think of these options
1- forget her and go back. [i don't want to do]
2- express my feelings to her [if she rejects me, it will knock me off the track and it will be very difficult to handle for me]
3- stay here in singapore and wait for some appropriate time [it's very difficult to stay without job].
i've only two months to decide. and due to this problem i'm out of mind. help me, i don't want to lose my heart in sg. -
Originally posted by I'm out there:i need a sincere advice from you all. i'm facing a typical problem with different set of scenarios. i came to singapore for studies and during this semester i met a chinese girl and started to have feelings about her. although i haven't expressed myself. becuase i fear many things. i'm not chinese, belong to different religion, langauge and race. i met her just 2 months back and it will be too early to say her anything. but i'm finishing my studies this november. initially i was planning to go back but now i'm thinking othterwise becuase she has one more year to go and i want to stay around her. but these days it is very difficult to find job here in singapore so staying in singapore without a job is out of question.
now what should i do? i can think of these options
1- forget her and go back. [i don't want to do]
2- express my feelings to her [if she rejects me, it will knock me off the track and it will be very difficult to handle for me]
3- stay here in singapore and wait for some appropriate time [it's very difficult to stay without job].
i've only two months to decide. and due to this problem i'm out of mind. help me, i don't want to lose my heart in sg.
Seriously speaking, two months should be enough to allow proper thoughts to flow into your befuddled mind.
Note that your personal liking doesn't mean the same for her as well. Therefore from here, it is likely that it could be one sided. Furthermore, race, religion & language is quite an issue, although it can be avoided - what matters most is whether this relationship will extend into a LDR (Long Distance Relationship). If yes, then my stand is not advisable.
I think the main problem doesn't lie with all these - its more about expressing yourself. You fear rejection greatly don't you? However, haven't this secret torment you deep inside long enough? Don't you want to release the tension and hack care about the consequences? Expressing doesn't need to have an ending - It's an act of no expectation.
Don't make the decision about whether to stay/leave/etc until you have a clearer picture about the definition of the relationship between the both of you. From there, probably you will know what to do.
Cheers -
1 - You already given this option a "no no".Originally posted by I'm out there:now what should i do? i can think of these options
1- forget her and go back. [i don't want to do]
2- express my feelings to her [if she rejects me, it will knock me off the track and it will be very difficult to handle for me]
3- stay here in singapore and wait for some appropriate time [it's very difficult to stay without job].
i've only two months to decide. and due to this problem i'm out of mind. help me, i don't want to lose my heart in sg.
2 - Do you mean expressing your love or asking her to be your gf? Its quite different since expressing alone does not need any reply. You just tell her you have some good feelings about her. Think about what do you really want here ... ...
3 - Yes, it is difficult to stay in sg unless you got a gold mine back at home. But its not IMPOSSIBLE. Look around, you sure can find your bread. It is possible to stay here (but difficult. .... )
Advise is, drop hints about you liking her and see her response ... ... If it seems like you have a chance, stay here, endure and look for a good chance... If she give ya things like "mission impossible", you really gotta think hard if its worth to stay ... ... Good luck. -
your only concern should be whether she likes you. if yes, all other considerations can be worked out. -
1- forget her and go back. [i don't want to do]
2- express my feelings to her [if she rejects me, it will knock me off the track and it will be very difficult to handle for me]
3- stay here in singapore and wait for some appropriate time [it's very difficult to stay without job].
nobody should always expect a smooth sailing in relationship issues and one should always remember that it is not the end of the world when things dont work out.
seems to me, u have already decided what you wanna do here. if u think you cant handle the rejection, perhaps you should just extinguish the entire idea of courting her.
if u want something bad enough, u'll have to work it out and make sacrifices if necessary. -
Hmmm, you've got 2 months, start asking her out and get to know her better. THen when it is time to decide, you will know what to do, don't decide now, decide once you have had a taste of what staying here on this isle with her means.
THat is all i have to offer. -
hmMm..mayb u should try to find out if she minds bein wif diff race ppl? if she dn mind...i choose option 2
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so after reading all the responses and critically thinking all the options, i've decided to quit. quiting doesn't mean that i don't love her. i've decided to quit just because of my love to her. there is no point in ruining good friendship with a stupid thought of mine (which most probably will be one way) and disturbing her. in my opinion i'll be asking too much from her.
thanks to all who cared to reply.
i have taken a decision that is very painful for me, i have bought the confirmed one way return ticket to back home.
bye bye
singapore, the place where i lost myself. -
so after reading all the responses and critically thinking all the options, i've decided to quit. quiting doesn't mean that i don't love her. i've decided to quit just because of my love to her. there is no point in ruining good friendship with a stupid thought of mine (which most probably will be one way) and disturbing her. in my opinion i'll be asking too much from her.
thanks to all who cared to reply.
i have taken a decision that is very painful for me, i have bought the confirmed one way return ticket to back home.
bye bye
singapore, the place where i lost myself.
Aye good choice! Cheers to you! Hurrah! A sensible man ought to find good partnership/romance/love with his own kind in his own home, for the complications arise when 2 people are of different cultures...
To avoid rebuttle, but then again barriers can be overcome, for example I exist, so do other mixed people etc
I agree, such declarations of love usually ruin friendships, (God knows why, but friendships get ruined that way), I wish you luck at home. Someday I too will return home, i can imagine getting off the boat just like Kevin Costner did in "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves" at Dover, oh how i long to see white walled Dover again, and the endless fields of beauty and sheep shit.
The pain will be over when you feel the soil of home under your feet.