no more second chance?
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knowing she really loves me, somehow i neglected her during our 3rd year in r/s. i took her for granted. cos i start to feel a bit 'sian' together with her. my thought that she will never leave me had proven wrong 5 mths back..
i always picked things on her cos i always feel that she should do this, she should do that. only when she mentioned to break up, i start to panick. at first i agreed to respect her wish that we'll be friends for the moment and let nature takes it's course. at that moments i didn't actually allow us to be friends. i showered her with care, hoping that she'll come back to me. but things got worse when i stress her on patching back. slowly, i realiased that i'm actually disappointing her time and time. i managed to tell myself to stay cool, and let things happen naturally. i did it. i did not stress her on r/s. i changed to a different person who really care for his gf. after a period of time, i asked her how's the chance of we two patching up. and her answer was... "i dun think we can be together again... you have changed to a better person, and you'll definately make a very good bf, but i no longer have that kind of feelings for you.."
i realiased i can't hang on to her anymore. i decided to leave her without a word. she e-mailed me, telling me that she is angry at me for leaving without a word. for the past few days i have been ignoring her like an idiot. still i decided not to reply. it's a good cooling period for me, temporary. after abt a month, the things we did start to flash back... i know i still miss her, still love her deeply... i messaged her... i told her i still love her. i asked her does she miss me during this period.. but her answer wasn't what i expected...
i have been thinking all these while.... she said she used to love me deeply... but the bond we built up during the whole r/s, doesn';t allow me to have second chance? it's not as if i never change.. i have changed, even till now i'm still my changed self...
btw, i'm 23, she's 21... -
wah lao u 2 like playing hide and seek with each other.....Originally posted by ahworm:knowing she really loves me, somehow i neglected her during our 3rd year in r/s. i took her for granted. cos i start to feel a bit 'sian' together with her. my thought that she will never leave me had proven wrong 5 mths back..
i always picked things on her cos i always feel that she should do this, she should do that. only when she mentioned to break up, i start to panick. at first i agreed to respect her wish that we'll be friends for the moment and let nature takes it's course. at that moments i didn't actually allow us to be friends. i showered her with care, hoping that she'll come back to me. but things got worse when i stress her on patching back. slowly, i realiased that i'm actually disappointing her time and time. i managed to tell myself to stay cool, and let things happen naturally. i did it. i did not stress her on r/s. i changed to a different person who really care for his gf. after a period of time, i asked her how's the chance of we two patching up. and her answer was... "i dun think we can be together again... you have changed to a better person, and you'll definately make a very good bf, but i no longer have that kind of feelings for you.."
i realiased i can't hang on to her anymore. i decided to leave her without a word. she e-mailed me, telling me that she is angry at me for leaving without a word. for the past few days i have been ignoring her like an idiot. still i decided not to reply. it's a good cooling period for me, temporary. after abt a month, the things we did start to flash back... i know i still miss her, still love her deeply... i messaged her... i told her i still love her. i asked her does she miss me during this period.. but her answer wasn't what i expected...
i have been thinking all these while.... she said she used to love me deeply... but the bond we built up during the whole r/s, doesn';t allow me to have second chance? it's not as if i never change.. i have changed, even till now i'm still my changed self...
btw, i'm 23, she's 21... -
and u have to quote the whole thing and reply one sentence?Originally posted by m@Rki:wah lao u 2 like playing hide and seek with each other..... -
Isnt that a 'used-to-be-famous' fashion outlet????
remember the black and yellow stripes signature of SECOND CHANCE???
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sorry lah... me newbie...Originally posted by FireIce:and u have to quote the whole thing and reply one sentence?
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If you really think/ believe you are a changed man, and you will, by all means, make her happy ... Then I think you should go all out to get her back ... ... If you can't give her happiness, then it is best you let her go and wish her all the best.
Her reply to you maybe made out of a state of anger, anger caused by your sudden silence.
Good luck. -
i hope the situation is like how you said, but i believe she means it when she says she feel that we can't be together again... she is a person when making a choice, she means it...Originally posted by sadsadguy:If you really think/ believe you are a changed man, and you will, by all means, make her happy ... Then I think you should go all out to get her back ... ... If you can't give her happiness, then it is best you let her go and wish her all the best.
Her reply to you maybe made out of a state of anger, anger caused by your sudden silence.
Good luck. -
hide and seek?Originally posted by m@Rki:wah lao u 2 like playing hide and seek with each other..... -
Hi Ahworm,
Well, it's bad that relationship can turn out bad and hurting. Being together as lovers or couples takes lots of patience, care, trust and understanding in order to maintain the relationship.
According to you, you said that during the third year into your relationship, you took her for granted and thought that she will never leave you, right? If being "sian" with her, then why start this relationship in the first place?
If you decide to cool things down with her, you have to talk to her on that. Don't just leave without a word and not to reply to her email. You are being irresponsible. You said that you have changed, how? You have to show it not by saying it. "Actions speak louder than words". If you still love her, ask her out and talk abt it. If things don't work out, it's time for you to move on and concentrate on other things that benefit you.
Think abt it. -
seems to me tt u r rather unsure of wat u 1 in the 1st place...at 1st, u gave her the cold shoulder, takes her 4 granted, these r the things that destroy a well build r/s overnight...
till the day she throws in the towel then u realise wat u had done..then u start to feel the 'feelings' again? u sure tt is feeling of luv or isit juz tt u r going to lose a person whom u hv grown dependent on n so u felt tt 'feeling' again?
also i cannot rule out the possible fact tt u r one of those pple who dun realise how impt a person is to u until the v day he/she left u...
as usual, my 2 cents worth of advice wld b take the time now to really think things thru...wat u 1 in a r/s, is it really meant to b...and also give each other sometime to grow n mature...who knows...ur paths might b cross again in the future if its really meant to be?
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Sometimes, relationship are liddat. The more u being through together, the more you will take it for granted. Perhaps overtime, feelings starts to fate and the "sian" feeling comes in. Think about it, did u make an effort along the way to spark up the relationship again?Originally posted by ahworm:knowing she really loves me, somehow i neglected her during our 3rd year in r/s. i took her for granted. cos i start to feel a bit 'sian' together with her. my thought that she will never leave me had proven wrong 5 mths back..
i always picked things on her cos i always feel that she should do this, she should do that. only when she mentioned to break up, i start to panick. at first i agreed to respect her wish that we'll be friends for the moment and let nature takes it's course. at that moments i didn't actually allow us to be friends. i showered her with care, hoping that she'll come back to me. but things got worse when i stress her on patching back. slowly, i realiased that i'm actually disappointing her time and time. i managed to tell myself to stay cool, and let things happen naturally. i did it. i did not stress her on r/s. i changed to a different person who really care for his gf. after a period of time, i asked her how's the chance of we two patching up. and her answer was... "i dun think we can be together again... you have changed to a better person, and you'll definately make a very good bf, but i no longer have that kind of feelings for you.."
i realiased i can't hang on to her anymore. i decided to leave her without a word. she e-mailed me, telling me that she is angry at me for leaving without a word. for the past few days i have been ignoring her like an idiot. still i decided not to reply. it's a good cooling period for me, temporary. after abt a month, the things we did start to flash back... i know i still miss her, still love her deeply... i messaged her... i told her i still love her. i asked her does she miss me during this period.. but her answer wasn't what i expected...
i have been thinking all these while.... she said she used to love me deeply... but the bond we built up during the whole r/s, doesn';t allow me to have second chance? it's not as if i never change.. i have changed, even till now i'm still my changed self...
btw, i'm 23, she's 21...
To ignore your gf for a few days is a BIG turnoff for her. The way you treat her is like telling her, "i am freaking piss off with you, but yet i not gonna give u time to reason urself out". Once, i gave silence treatment to my gf, which made her cry.. the feeling is so painful. She cant voice out her thinking and made her so worried about me. Dont you think your ex-gf will be somehow in my gf's shoe?
Love is something like fragile glass. Once broken, never will it be the same again. But if you like her alot, give her more time. Let ur sincerity touch her. Jia you 
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y humans always dun cherish what they have and tend to regret when it's gone....
well, she had mk clear that she no longer had that feelin on u.... so no point hanging on there waiting for her to patch bk wif u... in the end, both of u still get hurt n might break again...
perhaps these few weeks might be miserable days for u...but u still need to move on...... it's a stage where everyone had to face it in r/s...
cheer up frenz...... life arent till the end....
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Hmm... Your signatures.... Are you a life science student or something?Originally posted by NeonTetra:Isnt that a 'used-to-be-famous' fashion outlet????
remember the black and yellow stripes signature of SECOND CHANCE??? -
So why not just accept it?Originally posted by ahworm:i hope the situation is like how you said, but i believe she means it when she says she feel that we can't be together again... she is a person when making a choice, she means it... -
Why regret when you know that your actions will lead to the eventual downfall of the relationship. Felt abit sian? Then probably the threatening air of breaking makes things more exciting?Originally posted by ahworm:knowing she really loves me, somehow i neglected her during our 3rd year in r/s. i took her for granted. cos i start to feel a bit 'sian' together with her. my thought that she will never leave me had proven wrong 5 mths back..
i always picked things on her cos i always feel that she should do this, she should do that. only when she mentioned to break up, i start to panick. at first i agreed to respect her wish that we'll be friends for the moment and let nature takes it's course. at that moments i didn't actually allow us to be friends. i showered her with care, hoping that she'll come back to me. but things got worse when i stress her on patching back. slowly, i realiased that i'm actually disappointing her time and time. i managed to tell myself to stay cool, and let things happen naturally. i did it. i did not stress her on r/s. i changed to a different person who really care for his gf. after a period of time, i asked her how's the chance of we two patching up. and her answer was... "i dun think we can be together again... you have changed to a better person, and you'll definately make a very good bf, but i no longer have that kind of feelings for you.."
i realiased i can't hang on to her anymore. i decided to leave her without a word. she e-mailed me, telling me that she is angry at me for leaving without a word. for the past few days i have been ignoring her like an idiot. still i decided not to reply. it's a good cooling period for me, temporary. after abt a month, the things we did start to flash back... i know i still miss her, still love her deeply... i messaged her... i told her i still love her. i asked her does she miss me during this period.. but her answer wasn't what i expected...
i have been thinking all these while.... she said she used to love me deeply... but the bond we built up during the whole r/s, doesn';t allow me to have second chance? it's not as if i never change.. i have changed, even till now i'm still my changed self...
btw, i'm 23, she's 21... Don't worry, you ain't the first case, neither would it be the last.
Throughout your post - you stressed alot of points about she saying how much she loved you deeply, great bonds; those were the days. Time change, people change. Furthermore, a small crack in the wall could collaspe a whole castle - you made the crack and when you had chance to mend it, you din, instead you made the crack bigger.
Chemistry and development of feelings is two different thing. You can develop feelings over the time, but with haste - you lose more than you gain. Your desperate attempt to get her back turns her off because she sees you as someone totally different and no longer the original you.
P.S: Is not that she doesn't want to give you a second chance - she has already lost the love, so what's the use of a second chance? delaying the inevitable?
Cheers -
What she has said is probably more applicable to the present, don't rush her but be there for her. Be her friend, be true to her. If you know you love her, keep at it.
Through such, may you learn and grow. -
Remember how you treated her?
Mistakes can be forgiven, but not forgotten.
I dun believe in patching..even thought I have broken up with someone and still love him..Why? Bcos once biten, twice shy. There is a risk of getting hurt again.
Why not let her go? If her feeling has already faded..then why insist on getting her back to you?
Not every love story has a happy ending. Some are left with remorse and yi2 han4.
Treat the next girl better.. -
i think even if i talk to her again, the result will be the same... i have always wanted to let go... but the feeling is always there too..
i wanted to patch with her... but i feel that she will no longer be the girl i knew... perhaps i dun even know her well during the r/s. i didn't even know her decision could be this firm... or is she a changed girl?
i am sure i can take good care of her. cos i always wanted to do so after so much reflections. yet now i am scared that her next bf will not treat so as good as how i wish to treat her....
so what if i hang onto her and use my sincere to prove that i have really changed, not only for the sake of patching? like Yun had said, feelings can be develop after some time, but not chemistry.... -
broOriginally posted by ahworm:i think even if i talk to her again, the result will be the same... i have always wanted to let go... but the feeling is always there too..
i wanted to patch with her... but i feel that she will no longer be the girl i knew... perhaps i dun even know her well during the r/s. i didn't even know her decision could be this firm... or is she a changed girl?
i am sure i can take good care of her. cos i always wanted to do so after so much reflections. yet now i am scared that her next bf will not treat so as good as how i wish to treat her....
so what if i hang onto her and use my sincere to prove that i have really changed, not only for the sake of patching? like Yun had said, feelings can be develop after some time, but not chemistry....
no one will expect u to forget her so fast after a relationship
u are onli human
a caged bird once set free will not return to the cage ever again
i am glad tat u got to be a better person
u have learned much from this
dun let it go to waste
cheers -
well...ur situation is the exactly same as me.Happened ard the same period as urs somemore..
Most of the pple will only learn their lessons when the other half leaves them.
I have learned mine, so have u?well...till now i am stil learning....
Maybe this is part and parcel of life, i think most of the pple will experience it at least once, its just a matter of time.
Whatever is urs will be urs, watever is not, it will never be.
Take it easy. -
Hmm.....seems like there are many people facing these kinda problem.
Too stone to advice. -
I believe once they decide, noone can turn them back.
They got hurt once and would not gif u another chance to hurt them.
Hei friend, i lost one of an ex i love like this also.
I used to think tat treating her strict is for her own good.
I forget there is a limit.
Usually, only it is thru losses tat make u realise wat is dear to u.
I had made a mistake and paid a price.
I am 25 and she is 18 this yr.
After tat incident, i had been single till now...
Perhaps some things are meant to end up this way.
"God dun gif u the rite ger instead he gif u the wrong ones,
so when the rite one arrive, u will be ready for her."
Sorry,
moo moo 
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Hi Ah worm,
In the first place, you shouldn't have just leave without a word. At least tell her what you want and how you felt abt the entire relationship. Your action is irresponsible.
If you still love her, you must try your very best to salvage the r/s. In a relationship, both parties must work it out and communications is important.
Try to talk to her again or wait till she has cool down. -
Can you be sure of this statement?Originally posted by abterror:"God dun gif u the rite ger instead he gif u the wrong ones,
so when the rite one arrive, u will be ready for her." -
this is wat i heard from a friend...Originally posted by Haven:Can you be sure of this statement?
perhaps a myth.
but frankly speaking.
painful loss make u learn.