Hi bros & sis - Views on this?!
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This may sound the same at first, but i think it is not.Here goes...
Recently i had a break-up with my gf. She initated it.
We had been together for 3mths plus and i am her first bf. Actually we known each other for only 2mths and started this r/s because she was touched by the things i did for her( sendin her flowers...). During the time of knowing her for that 2mths, I called her like once a week. But we can talk for 2-3hrs. And we went out for 4-5 times before we started this r/s.
Tat day,she starts givin reasons like we are not compatible because i seldom talk to her when i am with her.But i am feelin stress out durin this period of time with planning my studies overseas and stuffs. (but i did not tell her).
This time her reason for breaking is we started out too early. We should remain as friends and learnt each other once again. She said to let everything goes its own way and we shall see whether we suit each other.
To all bros and sis, do you all think she wants a patch-back? Do i still stand a chance? What should i do in this period of time? Im really sad & confused ... -
I suppose let nature takes its course.
If things are meant to be, they will remain as they are.
Perhaps it is a good idea to think back on various things that are involved in r/s.
And perhaps to plan for a better future? -
go on wif ur life first, then if she wants u she'll return...Originally posted by ixrev:This may sound the same at first, but i think it is not.Here goes...
Recently i had a break-up with my gf. She initated it.
We had been together for 3mths plus and i am her first bf. Actually we known each other for only 2mths and started this r/s because she was touched by the things i did for her( sendin her flowers...). During the time of knowing her for that 2mths, I called her like once a week. But we can talk for 2-3hrs. And we went out for 4-5 times before we started this r/s.
Tat day,she starts givin reasons like we are not compatible because i seldom talk to her when i am with her.But i am feelin stress out durin this period of time with planning my studies overseas and stuffs. (but i did not tell her).
This time her reason for breaking is we started out too early. We should remain as friends and learnt each other once again. She said to let everything goes its own way and we shall see whether we suit each other.
To all bros and sis, do you all think she wants a patch-back? Do i still stand a chance? What should i do in this period of time? Im really sad & confused ... -
Dear ixrev,Originally posted by ixrev:This may sound the same at first, but i think it is not.Here goes...
Recently i had a break-up with my gf. She initated it.
We had been together for 3mths plus and i am her first bf. Actually we known each other for only 2mths and started this r/s because she was touched by the things i did for her( sendin her flowers...). During the time of knowing her for that 2mths, I called her like once a week. But we can talk for 2-3hrs. And we went out for 4-5 times before we started this r/s.
Tat day,she starts givin reasons like we are not compatible because i seldom talk to her when i am with her.But i am feelin stress out durin this period of time with planning my studies overseas and stuffs. (but i did not tell her).
This time her reason for breaking is we started out too early. We should remain as friends and learnt each other once again. She said to let everything goes its own way and we shall see whether we suit each other.
To all bros and sis, do you all think she wants a patch-back? Do i still stand a chance? What should i do in this period of time? Im really sad & confused ...
Like you have mentioned yourself, 'its only two months' that you have knew each other. The factors that also create that haste is due to the fact that she hasn't got a bf before and of course, you touched her in your little ways.
After three months courtship, you began to wonder if this guy she got is really the guy she wants. Please take note that for first love, its difficult to judge & gauge about the kind of partner you are truely looking for.
Stated reason of starting out too early is true (CloUdiSm Remix III classified as Morning Foundation - simply meant hasty relationship), while compatiability is an excuse. Compatiable love is made from a relationship, not given as perfect partner.
Advice?
Patch? Difficult to say - Because this relationship didn't turn soured in the first place. My suggested piece of advice would be to let her walk around and so will you. She is just embarking her beginning journey of love and relationship and UNLESS she has experienced hurt, she will not know what she is truely looking for.
Let her walk, so will you - keep an open mind and be generous about it. Enlarge social circle and probably friends meanwhile. Continue to keep in contact, as a good friend. My prediction is that within six months - nine months, she will get another bf. Don't go crazy or anything - be generous and let her be.
P.S: If she is truely yours, she will fly back even if you set her free. This is applicable to your case.
Cheers -
hey if she's meant for you...she'll return!
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Thanks for your advice bro. Sounds quite true.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Dear ixrev,
Like you have mentioned yourself, 'its only two months' that you have knew each other. The factors that also create that haste is due to the fact that she hasn't got a bf before and of course, you touched her in your little ways.
After three months courtship, you began to wonder if this guy she got is really the guy she wants. Please take note that for first love, its difficult to judge & gauge about the kind of partner you are truely looking for. Stated reason of starting out too early is true (CloUdiSm Remix III classified as Morning Foundation - simply meant hasty relationship), while compatiability is an excuse. Compatiable love is made from a relationship, not given as perfect partner.
Advice?
Patch? Difficult to say - Because this relationship didn't turn soured in the first place. My suggested piece of advice would be to let her walk around and so will you. She is just embarking her beginning journey of love and relationship and UNLESS she has experienced hurt, she will not know what she is truely looking for.
Let her walk, so will you - keep an open mind and be generous about it. Enlarge social circle and probably friends meanwhile. Continue to keep in contact, as a good friend. My prediction is that within six months - nine months, she will get another bf. Don't go crazy or anything - be generous and let her be.
P.S: If she is truely yours, she will fly back even if you set her free. This is applicable to your case.
Cheers
But one thing about "Compatiable love is made from a relationship, not given as perfect partner" - she said that pure love will not last long, thats y she is looking for attributes of our personality that will be compatible.
And one more thing, im flyin off next feb for studies. should I get her back within this 3mths? -
Originally posted by ixrev:Thanks for your advice bro. Sounds quite true.
But one thing about "Compatiable love is made from a relationship, not given as perfect partner" - she said that pure love will not last long, thats y she is looking for attributes of our personality that will be compatible.
And one more thing, im flyin off next feb for studies. should I get her back within this 3mths? If you are flying off, why bend on getting her and place your relationship into LDR (Long distance relationship?). Go for your studies first, anything come back then talk.
Cheers -
i agree. i am currently going thru a LDR myself and i can tell you its not easy. many of my friends have nto survived it but i''m still alirght so far.(take note of the 2 words SO FAR).
it will be hard for you to let her go but then again if u r going overseas there is a very huge chance u will meet someone else there... and there will be temptation to let this one go.. or u might start comparing.. or regretting that u tried to get her back.. or on the contrary u might be happy being with her.. (emotionally, electronically) but u might not handle to toll on the relationship.. and it might be the next break-up reason as well. maybe we are diff cos i am 14hrs flight away from my gal whereas u are just like half of it..??
do give alot of thoughts about it.
like the previoue replies mentioned, if she's yours she will fly back to you. maintain the contact with her so that there is the chance of patching up. if she's unwilling and thinking of excuses to break-up then it is useless for you to try to keep her with you rite..
i believe wat u want is her heart.. not just a dead body walking ard with you and her heart probably somewhere else... so do think about it and talk it out with her...communication is a very impt tool.
she may end up with another guy and realise that she was dumb to let u go.. or she might be happy with her new love.. in any way she will be happy.. and the same will happen to you too.. its part and parcel of the love life so dun brood over it and affect ur life.
good luck to your studies as well... -
Maybe you should have told her the reason why were you stressed out.
But for now, just let the time heal or the heavens test the fate and strength of the love. -
Patching back is still veri possible...you can be pro-active in patching back..guy mah if u want her back should make ur moves..but more importantly is to understand why she need to break in the first place and see if there is something that both of you can do about itOriginally posted by ixrev:This may sound the same at first, but i think it is not.Here goes...
Recently i had a break-up with my gf. She initated it.
We had been together for 3mths plus and i am her first bf. Actually we known each other for only 2mths and started this r/s because she was touched by the things i did for her( sendin her flowers...). During the time of knowing her for that 2mths, I called her like once a week. But we can talk for 2-3hrs. And we went out for 4-5 times before we started this r/s.
Tat day,she starts givin reasons like we are not compatible because i seldom talk to her when i am with her.But i am feelin stress out durin this period of time with planning my studies overseas and stuffs. (but i did not tell her).
This time her reason for breaking is we started out too early. We should remain as friends and learnt each other once again. She said to let everything goes its own way and we shall see whether we suit each other.
To all bros and sis, do you all think she wants a patch-back? Do i still stand a chance? What should i do in this period of time? Im really sad & confused ...
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Mmm... if she is touched by the tins u do for her... wat if another guy comes by n do the same tins for her? Wouldnt she b touched and perhaps consider tat guy 2?
Frm a "woman" pt of view, i feel tat she might ve realise tat its juz a infatuation... so she decided to tak a break.
Ei... he2 bi4 dan1 lian4 yi1 zhi1 hua1... haha... thre r still so many gals out there... but den its diff 2 find someone whom u truly luv... if u tink she d one... den u koe wat 2 do lar.... -
If you are going overseas soon..I dun really encourage a patching back.
I've been through a LDR for six months too..and it's really tough. Furthermore, me and my bf have been together for more than 3 yrs..and the relationship is very stable..it wasn't easy either..which is partly why I'm now here with him in Perth. I've also come here for further studies after my degree.
If a relationship is not strong, it will not to easy to withstand the test of distance. And from your description..ur relationship is terribly weak. Even if you patch back, high chance is that it won't last.
I bet your gf still doesn't know about your going overseas decision. If you patch back with her, and she hears about this news, do you think she will be able to accept the decision? And you have been doing all these behind her, not letting her know?
I dunno for her..but if it's me..I would not have been able to accept it. For me, it was already tough going through that six months though I have 3 yrs of memories to get me through the lonely nights..and it is the strong love for my bf that I didn't stray. For a weak relationship..it will be easier for the gal to stray if the guy is not with her most of the time and not there for her most of the time.
Why do you think so many guys lose their gfs while in NS? Not to mention going overseas.
My advice..leave it as it is. Better let her know you are leaving soon too. If it 'wakes' her up that she is going to lose you soon, she might realise inside her, she really wants to be with you, and is willing to wait for you, then good for you. If not, better remain as friends..cos we never know what will happen in the future. -
Hey, thks to all. I felt really better now. Perhaps time do heal the pain. Seems like almost all wans me to step back. Well i do wish to stay wif her though...Originally posted by Baby_Maro:If you are going overseas soon..I dun really encourage a patching back.
I've been through a LDR for six months too..and it's really tough. Furthermore, me and my bf have been together for more than 3 yrs..and the relationship is very stable..it wasn't easy either..which is partly why I'm now here with him in Perth. I've also come here for further studies after my degree.
If a relationship is not strong, it will not to easy to withstand the test of distance. And from your description..ur relationship is terribly weak. Even if you patch back, high chance is that it won't last.
I bet your gf still doesn't know about your going overseas decision. If you patch back with her, and she hears about this news, do you think she will be able to accept the decision? And you have been doing all these behind her, not letting her know?
I dunno for her..but if it's me..I would not have been able to accept it. For me, it was already tough going through that six months though I have 3 yrs of memories to get me through the lonely nights..and it is the strong love for my bf that I didn't stray. For a weak relationship..it will be easier for the gal to stray if the guy is not with her most of the time and not there for her most of the time.
Why do you think so many guys lose their gfs while in NS? Not to mention going overseas.
My advice..leave it as it is. Better let her know you are leaving soon too. If it 'wakes' her up that she is going to lose you soon, she might realise inside her, she really wants to be with you, and is willing to wait for you, then good for you. If not, better remain as friends..cos we never know what will happen in the future. Shes one gal i will never forget.
To all bros n sis, "you qing ren zhong chen juan su".. -
To all bros and sis, do you all think she wants a patch-back? Do i still stand a chance? What should i do in this period of time? Im really sad & confused ...
How the **** would I or anyone else know if she wants to patch up with you or not? What you should do is lay all your cards on the table for her, meaning you must communicate with her directly... yes I know its hard for you ppl to do so but you MUST. Communication is the key to most problems, communicate and be straight with her, she must also be straight with you.
You must tell her your troubles and why you behaved the way you did, which she found negative.
But from what you say... she MAY want to patch up because she said let things take their natural course.