Dilemma....advise?
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Hi everyone,
Just felt like putting my thoughts into words and expressing how i've been feeling these days. I am currently still studying in a poly doing an engineering course. Engineering was never my first choice of study and neither was studying in a polytechnic. Due to my D7 english scored during the Os, i was forced to choose the not-so language based courses like engineering. I will not justify myself by saying i am good in english, but my standard of english has been at least good enough to secure a B4. I retook and got a B3. i hesitated to apply back into a jc as i thoroughly enjoyed myself during the first 3 months period the year before. As i was unable to come to a final decision as in to stay in the jc or not, i withdrew partly due to lack of confidence for i had not touched any of the relevant subjects for a year. I stayed on in my course and struggled till now, my final year. My overall including my D7 english when i appealed for jc that year was 18points. As to why i did not try business course in poly was the fact that i was embarrassed and afraid to appeal as a previous appeal attempt to stay on in jc was unapproved.
I have completed my attachment just recently and during that period i did alot of thinking through. I felt that i was unable to contribute much to my company due to my lack of interest and lack of knowledge. Though i have managed to learn something and my bosses were saying i did alright, i just felt lousy that i could not make that extra difference. Everything in my life is going in circles. I could go on and on about everything in my life and i think it will probably just bore everyone of you. I am now going to end another phase of my life soon, and i have been worrying as to what i would want to take up next time, be it further studies or career. Though i may have an interest in business, i fear going into it only to find i am not cut out for it. I maybe be a jack of many trades but a master of none. I do not know what i am even good at. I really envy those who knows very early in life what they want to do in the future and what they are good at. For me, everything is jsut a question mark. I am sick of living my life this way and everything is basically crap right now. I have little friends whom i keep in contact with, let alone close too. I got back to Christ about a year ago and i seriously doubt my motives for going back to Christ. Sometimes i am so tired of everything i just wish i could land somewhere in timbuktu and lead a very simple life all alone.
To most i guess it would seem that i am the result of everything happening to me due to my reinforced perceptions. But i can tell you, i've tried. Nothing seems right. To those who have been through this phase of life, or have overcomed it, do enlighten me with your experience on how you dealt with it, and to those who got nothign constructive to say, i suggest you shut your hole and save your sniggers to yourselves. I welcome healthy and constructive criticism though. -
welcome to the rollarcoaster ride call life... i just got back to christ last night.
was looking thru some old primary sch pics.. sec sch pics... was wondering how are my old friends... feeling so nostalgic.. haha.. -
I don't totally agree with you that knowing what you wanna do in an early stage of your life would definitely put you at an 'advantage'. It could be a bonus if things go your way or at least your objective(s) are really what you want. It can be a pretty sad thing if you've struggled for years only to realise that what you've been trying to achieve is not really what you want...
I'm not sure about your character, but somehow I've got this feeling that you really wanna be 'somebody'? Well... At least somebody not so ordinary...? Or just like most other people you just wish to lead a life where you can be WHO you wanna be...?
No problem for me being ordinary now though...? I remember when I used to live this life where people around me have GREAT AMBITIONS.... Since young we were cultivated this mindset.. To be a 'somebody'.... Since early we've been taught that being a 'somebody' puts you so much more in an 'advantage'....
In fact, if you are to ask me what are the things that I TRULY treasure in my life now.... One of them would be BEING ORDINARY... VERY ORDINARY.... Nothing like walking around and have nobody point finger at you everywhere you go... People staring at you everywhere you go...? MAN... I simply can't take that kinda life....
Oh yeah... Before I get too 'windy' here, your question was? I think you can be ORDINARY and still things which you like to do in life... And LEARN to enjoy life... And even make it 'meaningful' if you want to...? Just be yourself... Work on the BEST of you while you maintain the basic capability for survival.... Leading a meaningful life doesn't mean that you have to be someone big... Neither does it mean that you'll have to be someone EXTRAORDINARY.... I'm working my way and counting my days... Till that day where my current status might be jeopardised... I'll just learn to ENJOY everyday as it is now... Ah yes... ORDINARY....
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Thanks Devil for your views.
Yeap, i agree with you on the part me
wanting to be "somebody". Guess it could be the mindset drilled in since young. Sometimes probably feel my life is too quiet. But then again, you may be right about the part where you mentioned that it could be not what a person might want to achieve in life. Maybe i just feel so directionless about my life, not knowing what to do, no vision or focus, it can be quite scary if you see yourself not having anything to work for. -
ya'll nv noe until ya try, dun ya?
if ya wanna be somebody, then ya have to take the risk, there is no free lunch in this world.
if ya is afraid of taking the dive, then ya just have to stay content with ya lot in life?
as for work, com'on, i dun believe anyone noe everything at first day of work. Once ya work long enuff, ya will eventually learn the required job experience. it is inevitable that ya feel like ya noe nothing did nothing in IA, cuz actually most of ya stuff learn in school nv realli use in work one. ya learn along as ya work.
as for wat 2 do next, maybe u have to sit and have think over what ya wanna. maybe not in detail, but at least a foggy idea what you wanna, and are u willing to throw the dice?
you shld be still relatively young, there is still 10 years for u to spend! regardless of success or failure, the experiences u gained will still improve ur overall networth. it is still a plus in ur resume
and at late twenties, still marketable -
Well... You definitely can make your life more meaningful if you look hard enough? It's all really up to you to decide...? Or maybe the time has not come where your objectives begin to appear in front of you... So meanwhile why not just sit back and relax...?Originally posted by Insightist:Thanks Devil for your views.
Yeap, i agree with you on the part me
wanting to be "somebody". Guess it could be the mindset drilled in since young. Sometimes probably feel my life is too quiet. But then again, you may be right about the part where you mentioned that it could be not what a person might want to achieve in life. Maybe i just feel so directionless about my life, not knowing what to do, no vision or focus, it can be quite scary if you see yourself not having anything to work for. -
Hmm ... studying engineering at poly need not means you need to be in engineering field for work. My friend who studied mechanical engineering in poly is now happy working as a system analsyt. What's stopping you from doing the work you want? BTW, lots of uni overseas offer you a place in many other courses beside engineering based on your diploma. Come, your problem can be solved, dun worry too much!
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I maybe be a jack of many trades but a master of none. I do not know what i am even good at.
It will come to you, comes at different time periods for many. You are not alone. I have no idea what i am good at or what I want to do.I got back to Christ about a year ago and i seriously doubt my motives for going back to Christ.
As well you should.
Basic advice for you. Don't worry so much now, you've got education and basic ammenities to survive in the world. Relax and don't think too much... what you should do is what U LIKE DOING, WHAT U WANT TO DO. -
Thanks pple. What has caused me all this confusion is when i see friends or classmates around me living life so well, like anything that comes, it seems to be right for them. Call me jealous or what i do not know, but they seem to not have any struggles, everything flowing so well. Take friends for instances, some of my classmates have very bad attitude problems and chracter traits which just leaves me disgusted at times,but they seem to have many friends asking them out and stuff. ALthough i can talk to many people, but i find the frequency is not of the same level. Thus, i consider myself loner. There's this saying "Do unto others how you want others to do unto you". Well, i did. But sometimes you get so pissed off with others that they just have no plain common sense to think about their actions that just leaves you high and dry. Well, there's also another saying "If you put your mind to it, anythign is possible". Well i've tried that too, but nothing comes out of it. Even though i'm doing a course where it's not really my first love, i try to apply that saying to my studies, but nothing great comes out of it. Yes, interest or passion in doing what you like is one thing, but sometimes doing what is important is another thing. Take computers for instance. I might not be so passionate about it, but you need to learn it as everything these days revolves round the computer. All these are just my thoughts. But greatly appreciate for all your advises. Maybe more of you guys can share with me similar experiences and struggles.
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Relax... Different people have different lives... Don't be too hard on yourself?Originally posted by Insightist:Thanks pple. What has caused me all this confusion is when i see friends or classmates around me living life so well, like anything that comes, it seems to be right for them. Call me jealous or what i do not know, but they seem to not have any struggles, everything flowing so well. Take friends for instances, some of my classmates have very bad attitude problems and chracter traits which just leaves me disgusted at times,but they seem to have many friends asking them out and stuff. ALthough i can talk to many people, but i find the frequency is not of the same level. Thus, i consider myself loner. There's this saying "Do unto others how you want others to do unto you". Well, i did. But sometimes you get so pissed off with others that they just have no plain common sense to think about their actions that just leaves you high and dry. Well, there's also another saying "If you put your mind to it, anythign is possible". Well i've tried that too, but nothing comes out of it. Even though i'm doing a course where it's not really my first love, i try to apply that saying to my studies, but nothing great comes out of it. Yes, interest or passion in doing what you like is one thing, but sometimes doing what is important is another thing. Take computers for instance. I might not be so passionate about it, but you need to learn it as everything these days revolves round the computer. All these are just my thoughts. But greatly appreciate for all your advises. Maybe more of you guys can share with me similar experiences and struggles.