What should i do?
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I'm a 24 year old student now studying in my final year in the polytechnic. I have completed my national service and used to have a relationship which lasted for 2 years. The breakup was during my second year of my first year of my studies. I still remember her even till this day.
Currently I have a long distance relationship with a Malaysian who i met through the internet. We have exchanged phone calls and letters for about six months. I have problems in trusting women especially in relationships. I fear that it will be a fail one again. The relationship that I have in the past wasn't a good one. There are many differences I have with my ex, she was my first one. I need guidance and hope to have a true relationship that doesn't lead me to another helpless situation.
How should I love and carry on without falling into my mistakes? I admit that I tend to be suspicious and too possessive at times. What should I do to prevent it from happening? What about my current long distance relationship? -
Since you know your mistakes, you can very well control and refrain yourself from revoking the behavior or activities... Though of course, it's always easier said than done?Originally posted by wordstar:I'm a 24 year old student now studying in my final year in the polytechnic. I have completed my national service and used to have a relationship which lasted for 2 years. The breakup was during my second year of my first year of my studies. I still remember her even till this day.
Currently I have a long distance relationship with a Malaysian who i met through the internet. We have exchanged phone calls and letters for about six months. I have problems in trusting women especially in relationships. I fear that it will be a fail one again. The relationship that I have in the past wasn't a good one. There are many differences I have with my ex, she was my first one. I need guidance and hope to have a true relationship that doesn't lead me to another helpless situation.
How should I love and carry on without falling into my mistakes? I admit that I tend to be suspicious and too possessive at times. What should I do to prevent it from happening? What about my current long distance relationship?
However, understand that no relationship is usually a perfect sailing... Whatever adjustments you've made for the relationship or your partner, you'll still expect some changes from time to time... In other words, if you fall? Get up and LEARN from your mistakes again... No SHORTCUTS, sorry... You want shortcuts? My personal advice.... DON'T fall in love.... -
You mentioned that you have a problem trusting woman, yet you are entering into a relationship with this issue within you. You feel that going through an online relationship with a Malaysian over a LDR wouldn't be that as well? Fear that it would fail? Here's a truth -once you entered a relation, like condom, even the best ones have 0.01% of failing.Originally posted by wordstar:I'm a 24 year old student now studying in my final year in the polytechnic. I have completed my national service and used to have a relationship which lasted for 2 years. The breakup was during my second year of my first year of my studies. I still remember her even till this day.
Currently I have a long distance relationship with a Malaysian who i met through the internet. We have exchanged phone calls and letters for about six months. I have problems in trusting women especially in relationships. I fear that it will be a fail one again. The relationship that I have in the past wasn't a good one. There are many differences I have with my ex, she was my first one. I need guidance and hope to have a true relationship that doesn't lead me to another helpless situation.
How should I love and carry on without falling into my mistakes? I admit that I tend to be suspicious and too possessive at times. What should I do to prevent it from happening? What about my current long distance relationship?
Your ex is your first love; in the first place, without her, do you actually think you will know what you really want in a girl? Or do you not know even now? You have difference with your ex - do you understand that such are inevitable events in love and have you actually realise what are the learning pointers behind the conflicts?
You want a good, fulfilling relationship and this requires constant enlightenment. Nobody can enlighten you to path of a happiness relationship - you are the only driver. Love without making too much mistake is the goal everyone is seeking - you are of no exception. You admit you are suspicious and possessive - you have ever done anything to correct it? These are flaws to create cracks in your possible love and many others, whom you never state or never knew.
Your current situation? LDR is difficult ball game. You met her through internet and you said you have problem trusting woman, then what makes you trust her? Online, overseas and preception based purely on her words and voice? My view is that chances are, you will triggering what you feared; futile relationship.
P.S: Again like condom, the freak cases have this 0.01% of making it work. I am not saying that the figure above represent your hope in maintaining this relationship with her - however, if you chose to seek lower risk relationship, in the first place, you wouldn't and shouldn't even have consider this proposal at all. I understand your conscious and subconscious needs - she could be just around.
Are you a Scorpio or a Libra?
Cheers -
quite simple rite..
u know u easily get paranoid...
then u r not suitable for long distance relationship.
otherwise change urself.. coz it's no fault of hers to be in another country.. why shld she suffer under your possessiveness. -
[size=normal]you kana break up wif who??[/size
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Ermm. U should trust yaself more.. If u trust yaself, u will trust ya partner in a relationship.. Holdin on her too tight might cause a fall.. Being to suspicous and possessive is a NO-No in a relationship.. I mean u all together for so long liao y possessive leh?
Aniwae.. Dun anti-social now la.. not all gers are tt bad.. coming out from a failed relationship doesnt mean u have to carry on dwelling on it.. Life still has to go on.. Take it as a valuable experience learnt..
Forget the past and look forward to the future..
Dun drag on unhappy incidents..
Be a happy person! And open up to the ppl instead of having the 'i think i cant trust u totally' thinking.. -
and ya.. i personally think long term relationship wont work out since u have such a more possessive personality..
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Thank you for all the advices, what is the point of view in long distance relationships?
Currently in my present situation, i'm trying to accept in love in my life but still there's a certain road block in me that prevents me from trusting me totally.
How can really know that she's the right one? Falling in and out of love can be too much in the emotional part. What're my right path for the current situation?
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Everyone could be the right one - its all matter of how you and her sees the relationship. Astrologically, even the most conflicting relationship can remain together. I believe in meeting both the wrong and right people throughout my life - afterall, the only time you are certain to realise that she is the one.... is when you have met several wrong ones to confirm that.Originally posted by wordstar:Thank you for all the advices, what is the point of view in long distance relationships?
Currently in my present situation, i'm trying to accept in love in my life but still there's a certain road block in me that prevents me from trusting me totally.
How can really know that she's the right one? Falling in and out of love can be too much in the emotional part. What're my right path for the current situation?
Cheers -
As Yunhaier has said, you are the driver...meaning you are the only one who holds the final decisions....the advice list might go on forever but eventually you have to decide when...Originally posted by Yunhaier:Everyone could be the right one - its all matter of how you and her sees the relationship. Astrologically, even the most conflicting relationship can remain together. I believe in meeting both the wrong and right people throughout my life - afterall, the only time you are certain to realise that she is the one.... is when you have met several wrong ones to confirm that.
Cheers
Forgetting about the pasts is impossible but gradually accepting them and continuing to pursue and treasure the things and ppl around you; that you might have overlooked them. You are doing yourself a dis-service and being unfair to yourself and ppl affilated. What you think is always faster than how you feel in your heart. It takes time to accept the pasts and find true love...Give yourself a chance by allowing time and love around you to recover.
You will become unpossesive when you know deep inside your heart that you can't live without this person, yet you accept who he/she is and really want him/her to be truly happy(of coz he/she must feel the happiness).... to understand and to know her more....become happy when she's happy..sad when she's sad...Then she most probably The One if she feels the same for you and able to complete you.Making her happy sounds really simple but the most important and the hardest during the crunch.
My personal view is, no offence to anyone.....why depend on astrology as a 'mirror' where you already have 'mirrors' inside yourself and ppl who really understands you. I am still 'learning'.... -
is this appropriate here?
Love! damn the consequences! -
/me take out noteOriginally posted by the Bear:is this appropriate here?
Love! damn the consequences!
That quote was used 139th times by author: the Bear.
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Hi there Wordstar,
What your hurry in getting in love. You're still young.They is so much more things, that you can do.
Get your priority right first. The ocean is huge, go out and see the world, get to know more friends. Know what you want in life or love, it will come to you unexpectedly.
Next thing you know will be your wedding bells ringing. -
'learn to fall properly'
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Thank you everyone for replying to my queries about love, one think about myself is i tend to fall easily in love. I tend to see the world in pink. It's the power of falling for someone, making your heart beat.
Yes, there may be not hurry in love. It's the journey down for what is install. Currently, about my long distance relationship... what should i do now? Let it be, nature takes it course? Or just end it prematurely? I start to see two sides of my story.