BGR problem>>what should i do?
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hi ple,i have a gf who i have been dating for abt 2 yrs....but 2 mths ago.we have a small quarrel and i called her but she did not ans and she say would call me back when she cool down....i know exams are around the corner.,,,,so i jus leave her alone...she stil sms me in the nite but not often....then on monday,she ask me to have dinner next week for our 2nd yr anniversary...i told her that can we have a chat 1st before having dinner,,,she ask me wat was the chat abt..and i told her it was abt us....she say we will end up quarreling again,...so she ask me to ask he now instead,,,,and i did...i ask her wat was going on between us,,,and why did she have to leave me alone for 2 months???she replied me with a dun know...she wanted to call but afraid that we will quarrel again...and that she regret asking me this question....
after those sms,i am so confused and dun know wat to do,,,,she is even gonna spend her b.day with her friends,,,,,,i am sad and cofused i realli dun know wat to do...ANY
advice???? -
relax... cool down... n think positively!!! maybe her friends wan her 2 spend more time with her? maybe she is feeling really stress with her studies... maybe when she study with u she cannot concentrate so she prefer 2 study alone?
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i learn to trust but sometimes her action realli makes me doubt the trust i am having....for example....her hp bill is send to my houes....and she has abt 2000++ sms but i dare to say that less then a 100 is for me...so i wonder where the rest went to???i know she sms guys,,,,,,do u tink she is betraying me behind my back???"i am so so confused i dun know wat to do how do i choose>>??"
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sms alot doesn't mean that she is betraying u... i am sure she has alot of friends... n y do u pay for her bill? this will onli cause her to be dependant on u... i suggest u try n have a heart to heart talk with her... juz go out together one day... then tok.. it;s better than speculating here...Originally posted by eyewitness:i learn to trust but sometimes her action realli makes me doubt the trust i am having....for example....her hp bill is send to my houes....and she has abt 2000++ sms but i dare to say that less then a 100 is for me...so i wonder where the rest went to???i know she sms guys,,,,,,do u tink she is betraying me behind my back???"i am so so confused i dun know wat to do how do i choose>>??" -
2000+ sms is alot, but mayb she got many frens like to sms mah so no need get so worried yet. as for the quarrel, convince her tat having arguments are normal cos it helps both of u get to understand each other better, try to rang4 bu4 if tat happens...
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sorry abt that....i dun pay for her totally pay for her bills but there are times when i chip in some for her.....i guess i jus let nature take it's course as i dun know if we will ever chat again...............thanks for the replies and advices,,,,,,weidev........
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if u love her, trust her......
if she betrays u, forgt abt her -
and guys...THANKS FOR HEARING ME OUT............
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but i dun know if she is betraying me or not....
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go hong her abit lor girls mus hong 1 mah.....mayb she stil in bad mood...so lets cool down for soem time....time will heel 1 lar..dn worry...
jus be cool can already..... -
orkkk u began to suspect her....means u and her relationship aso nt so deepOriginally posted by eyewitness:but i dun know if she is betraying me or not.... -
if there are gals out there reading,i would like to say that guys are not the ones always playing with ur feeling nowadays...but gals are...i have heard of so many cases gals dumping guys for another....because of looks,cars, money....anything.....sometimes spare a thought for the guy who has been trying all he can to provide u with care and comfort,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,cheers!!
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i admit, i am begining to suspect things but all i can say is that her action does contribute to my thinking as well.....
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to guys as wellOriginally posted by eyewitness:if there are gals out there reading,i would like to say that guys are not the ones always playing with ur feeling nowadays...but gals are...i have heard of so many cases gals dumping guys for another....because of looks,cars, money....anything.....sometimes spare a thought for the guy who has been trying all he can to provide u with care and comfort,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,cheers!! -
actualy ur case reminds me of someting sad...anyway feelings aso v impt...if u hav a strong feeling someting bad goin to happen, at least u gt prepare liao...so wont be so sad....worst ting is u v happy then.......Originally posted by eyewitness:i admit, i am begining to suspect things but all i can say is that her action does contribute to my thinking as well..... aiyo dono wat i tokin aso......anyway jus like u say lor....let nature go its course...dn tink so much....... -
trust her, she still innocent until proven guilty..
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if she is realli guilty,i think i will feel sad more then angry cos all i trusted is down the drain and all my time and effort is wasted.............hiaz,,,,what is LOVE???
"i am so confused,i dun know wat to do,how do i choose?" -
I'm afraid that you are going to lose her. From what you stated, she looks like she is not in love with you anymore. Which girlfriend who is in love with her boyfriend would totally ignore his boyfriend and spend her birthday with her friends?Originally posted by eyewitness:hi ple,i have a gf who i have been dating for abt 2 yrs....but 2 mths ago.we have a small quarrel and i called her but she did not ans and she say would call me back when she cool down....i know exams are around the corner.,,,,so i jus leave her alone...she stil sms me in the nite but not often....then on monday,she ask me to have dinner next week for our 2nd yr anniversary...i told her that can we have a chat 1st before having dinner,,,she ask me wat was the chat abt..and i told her it was abt us....she say we will end up quarreling again,...so she ask me to ask he now instead,,,,and i did...i ask her wat was going on between us,,,and why did she have to leave me alone for 2 months???she replied me with a dun know...she wanted to call but afraid that we will quarrel again...and that she regret asking me this question....
after those sms,i am so confused and dun know wat to do,,,,she is even gonna spend her b.day with her friends,,,,,,i am sad and cofused i realli dun know wat to do...ANY advice????
I suggest that you take a step back, do not be anxious. Give the girl some space. She will appreciate it.
I know that you are suspicious about what's she doing behind your back but i recommend you not to tell her about it. It is because it'll make you look insecure and that it might start a quarrel again.
You should be more of a challenge and also try to be creative. Make sure she laughs and not quarrel with you the next time you meet her. Your ought to make her enjoy her time with you. If she try to steer you into serious topics or give you 'tests', you could just avoid them by giving a funny answer. For eg, she say, "Do you love me?". You could reply, "I love you, as a little sister" or "What? You want to hear me to say I love you is it?"
Anyway, just don't think too much. Relax a little. Afterall, it's her lost if she does not want you, right?
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The ultimate avoidance is the one who doesn't know how to bring up the issues and discuss it like mature couple. Only young love avoids, escape and vanish without trace. (Has absolutely NOTHING to do with chronological age - it is the degree of enlightenment one has regarding love.)Originally posted by eyewitness:hi ple,i have a gf who i have been dating for abt 2 yrs....but 2 mths ago.we have a small quarrel and i called her but she did not ans and she say would call me back when she cool down....i know exams are around the corner.,,,,so i jus leave her alone...she stil sms me in the nite but not often....then on monday,she ask me to have dinner next week for our 2nd yr anniversary...i told her that can we have a chat 1st before having dinner,,,she ask me wat was the chat abt..and i told her it was abt us....she say we will end up quarreling again,...so she ask me to ask he now instead,,,,and i did...i ask her wat was going on between us,,,and why did she have to leave me alone for 2 months???she replied me with a dun know...she wanted to call but afraid that we will quarrel again...and that she regret asking me this question....
after those sms,i am so confused and dun know wat to do,,,,she is even gonna spend her b.day with her friends,,,,,,i am sad and cofused i realli dun know wat to do...ANY advice????
This is simply ridiculous - 2 months of zero contact is as good as the legendary tootpid 'silent' break. FYI, night SMS can't maintain a relationship at all (its simply a minor tool to keep a relationship sweet and contented). My take is that she wants to back out from the relationship, yet she doesn't know how to bring it up to you, therefore she avoids, until one fine day you bth, then break out the news to her, saying that you are leaving this relationship for good. One thing: she doesn't have to face the music of saying it to you and having to bear the name of 'bad person.'
Advice?
Date her out and speak to her directly face to face. Useless to sms, write letter, emails, etc. The real message and idea can only be gotten straight from 1st hand information - real life communication. Watch her body language, her tone, her feelings, her way of speaking & her thinking. Everything has a story - you piece them together, you get the whole tale.
P.S: Its useless dragging this man. Have a final showdown and speak to her. Even if you were sentence to death, there must be a reason - seek that reason, at least you die clearly and fully aware of what's going on. There must not be mask - everything has to be honest truth. Any 'effort' on trying to hide something suggest that your relationship is descending to destruction and would probably die soon after. 8th law of love - lying destroy intimacy; which is exactly what it is doing to your relationship.
Cheers -
after reading the replies,,,,i came to realise that she might wan to break up with me,,,,but during those last 2 months,,,,she still sms me missing me....i am so confused by her actions.......if she tell me face to face that she wans to break off,,,,,i will let her go.......but i guess she is scare to tell me face to face...i know that i will be very very sad to lose her but i dun have a choice at all.......i think soon u guys will hear from me POSTING...."How to foget someone u love deeply....."haiz.......
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i wan to have a heart to heart talk with her to know wat is going on but yesterday we sms,we ended up quareling cos she say she dun know why she is like that and she wil be happier if she knew it...she say she feel like calling me but once she tink of calling me,all the memories of our quarreling came back and she will choose not to call me......i know she is a very sturborn gal,,,,,even if i see her face to face,she will not tell me a thing....she will keep it in her heart that i guess i fail to open...
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Originally posted by eyewitness:i wan to have a heart to heart talk with her to know wat is going on but yesterday we sms,we ended up quareling cos she say she dun know why she is like that and she wil be happier if she knew it...she say she feel like calling me but once she tink of calling me,all the memories of our quarreling came back and she will choose not to call me......i know she is a very sturborn gal,,,,,even if i see her face to face,she will not tell me a thing....she will keep it in her heart that i guess i fail to open... Under CloUdiSm theory - this the worst form of relationship between a man and woman, a blanket of cover in between you. As a bf, if you are unable to make your gf feel comfortable to speak about issues relating to your relationship (please note only relating to your relationship and affecting it, nothing to do with past and other irrelevant subjects) - its kinda sad and failure on your part. (in most cases, both parts) Yes, not everything must be told. (Past for example), but issues that is currently affecting the relationship must be discussed and solved or at least even if it were to end, it will be a conclusion laid down by TWO parties.
She won't tell you a thing? So you are going to leave it as it is? Attempt countless times and ASK TO MEET HER. Prepare a speech and seek to understand why your relationship is falling apart.
Of course if you are simply lazy, dump the relationship then. In this case, you save your effort, don't need to know the reason why and probably achieve what she wanna achieve. But if I was you, I will do exactly what I said above.
P.S: Is she a Cancer?
Cheers -
dn drag lar...
chang tong bu ru duan tong...........
...~~~~bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu cheng jin yong you... -
bro , tk it easi. 2000+ sms real lots. but mayb she is juz smsing her fren. to noe if she betray u anot, i'm sure u noe it more well den we all..
since she say scared u both talk den quarrel again, u still haf to find out the root of the prob. ask her dun reply words such as "dun noe".. mayb u shld talk more den ask her is it correct all those. dun let her juz say duno coz u sure will not noe the root of the problem..
all da best to ya.. sms doesnt mean anything. -
bro , tk it easi.
2000+ sms real lots. but mayb she is juz smsing her fren. to noe if she betray u anot, i'm sure u noe it more well den we all..
since she say scared u both talk den quarrel again, u still haf to find out the root of the prob. ask her not to reply words such as "dun noe".. mayb u shld talk more eg " i noe i lidat i m wrg but u blah blah ... right ?" make her say right or wrg and not saying dunno..u shld nt let her juz say duno coz u sure will not noe the root of the problem..
call and check the root of the prob bro. solve the prob asap.
all da best to ya..