my icy-cold home
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wish i can move out when i can afford to.
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wats the matter?Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:wish i can move out when i can afford to. -
moving out won't solve anything, but it'll help..
good luck
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i used to think myself as someone competent. but i guess in everyone's life, there's bound to be a downside - an ugly past, a regretful act or situations that tear us down.
home gets colder as i grow older and learn more about life. it builds up gradually as time passes. maybe dad and mum think that i'm old enough to look after myself but deep down, sometimes i would just humble my pride and wish for their attention like a little child.
i have a younger brother that i can't accept. God has blessed me with great friends care but, somehow, there lies a sense of loneliness which i can't dissolve. i'm sick of humane emotions, sick of trying to sustain myself through hopes of delievery, sick of falling down and pickin myself up.
no, don't get me wrong. i'm not here to seek sympathy. it's jus a sore sentiment that urges me for an outlet. thanks for reading anyway. cheers. -
hm.. no one is perfect. i think we all recognise tt.Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:i used to think myself as someone competent. but i guess in everyone's life, there's bound to be a downside - an ugly past, a regretful act or situations that tear us down.
home gets colder as i grow older and learn more about life. it builds up gradually as time passes. maybe dad and mum think that i'm old enough to look after myself but deep down, sometimes i would just humble my pride and wish for their attention like a little child.
i have a younger brother that i can't accept. God has blessed me with great friends care but, somehow, there lies a sense of loneliness which i can't dissolve. i'm sick of humane emotions, sick of trying to sustain myself through hopes of delievery, sick of falling down and pickin myself up.
no, don't get me wrong. i'm not here to seek sympathy. it's jus a sore sentiment that urges me for an outlet. thanks for reading anyway. cheers.
i understand wat u mean.. as we get older we tend to drift from our parents, intentionally or not. and alot of times, we wish we are still kids, wif everyone ard us pouring love on us, nothing to worry, nothing to fear. i think ur emptiness and loneliness comes frm a void - the lack of love, either from home or relation.
well... im not here to offer advise. but i can share my experience: up until not so long ago, i haf realli drifted away from my family, my relatives... i tot it was ok and i could live like tt forever. but something happened in my family and forced me to spend abt a wk quite closely wif my family and my relatives. it was den tt i realise how far i haf drifted frm them - it was as though i was a complete stranger! and i felt so much pain - pain i never tot i wud feel - tt these relatives, ppl i was so close to when i was a child, r treating me or looking at me like a stranger. and tt was den i realise how much i love and i depend on my family and my relatives.
i dunno wat caused ur current feelings but im sure nothing canot be resolved and in the end, family is where u belong.
good luck and all the best. -
thanks wuming78
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welcomez.Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:thanks wuming78
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And there was a period of time when I was a 'zombie' before I turned into a Devil....
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i hav been living in a icy cold home since i was like 13, ever since my mom left home coz she cld no longer put up wif d nonsence of my dad..
i learnt to be independant since then. i earn wat i spent since i was 14 n even paid 4 for own exams n assessment book then.. regretably i dunno wat is family bond, i dunno my relatives tat well. at tt point of time in my life, i simply indulged myself in my work.. i drew strenght fr my collegues n frds..
but as time passes, fr d protected sch env, i moved into the ugly office politics n even classroom politics, i soon realise tt i cant trust even my frds.. Now i hav a few close frds whom confide in and my r/ship with my relatives/family is still d same although i enjoy screaming at my dad once in a while..
to all whose house is not a home, u might find comfort now in something else like i did, i simply engrossed myself in work work n work, i did nothing to biuld a bond with my family.. when u get older u soon realise that family is still very important.. so wat if u can move out of ur house, u wld hav moved into another shell with four walls, hav u found a home??
u might find more comfort in taking initiative to build d relationship with ur family than to move out of the house.. moving out is only a short term solution
for me, now d whole world seem to be icy cold but i hav learnt to live, alone
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Whoa, tot i was the only poor guy, ok here's my story...
Since young, my father nv stays home, maybe like since i was in P2 liddat... And then, gradually, my other siblings stayed together... And yes, my father has gt 3 wives. first one passed away, leaving 3 children, 2nd was my mum, 3rd was another with a younger sis. Happily, we dun quarrel or wat, so its kinda Lucky, however, since young, i dun get the attention, and etc etc... my father just buy me things and in sch, i'm always seen as popular and friendly... but once home, i'm like so dead. Nw, i'm getting more & more cold n heartless at times, for eg, tat time one of my uncle passed away, i was like no feeling, n my mum said told me off, saying i was like so cold-blooded n heartless... I dun feel much for anithing animore... except hope tat 1 fine day, someone nice n pretty (a gf) comes along and soften my heart... Dun really like my present situation, when i tok, i am very rude to my mum, i tried t change but, well, all along, there was no communication among us, so nw, its like so hard to communicate too... bless us all~~~
and dun worry, if u have lived until nw with this problem, means u r stong yeah? u'll find hope soon~ -
yap blue kelvin, b strong n u will pull through.. juz wan u to noe tt it happens in other ppl family 2 n u r not alone yar..
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I know i may be a little young to give advices, but i believe that every family has their problems, and itz really up to each individual to decide how to deal with them. I live in a very cold home too. In fact... things are even colder in my house cos my parents are divorced, and i'm only living with my mum. We're still learning how to solve our problems everyday. I hope you can find a solution to yours too! I do think, however, that moving out (aka running away) isn't a solution.Originally posted by eddarwin:yap blue kelvin, b strong n u will pull through.. juz wan u to noe tt it happens in other ppl family 2 n u r not alone yar.. -
home gets colder as i grow older and learn more about life. it builds up gradually as time passes. maybe dad and mum think that i'm old enough to look after myself but deep down, sometimes i would just humble my pride and wish for their attention like a little child.
Hmm well your not alone. Except you seem to be alone which he what bothers you, alone from your parents, whereas I on the other hand, WANT TO GET AWAY from my Mother, we can't get along, my dad can't get along with her either, we both say she's freaky.
I have been reduced, because of my home relationships and other things, to the most cold state in my life. I used to be so excited at the thought of Christmas or Halloween, or watching tourist video clips of faraway destinations... now I am just indifferent, I guess this is what those vampires who lose their souls feel like heh.