What will u do if third party is cause of breakup??
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Originally posted by SoonKeong:I think no matter what, i will not just let her go without giving effort to make her stay.
What about thinking, why doesnt she like you already?
Since you already mention there will be a long term memory and unspoken feelings, den why let her go so easily? Is trying effort to keep her so difficult?
I dunnoe, i just feel that if relationship just involved letting ur partner leave just like that, then that's something really disappointing about
The fixed nature of four signs - Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio (especially) and Taurus must evolved and learn the beauty of respecting space, decision, freedom and the ideal to leave when the chapter has to close.
The thinking of why doesn't she like me isn't the main issue. Of course, when you ponder and analysis your relationship, you will eventually discover why. For me, the thing isn't about the action leaving - its about the fact that she is able to tell me straight in the face that she is leaving for another person that makes this relationship more or less concluded. (I do not accept sms, emails, letters, or anything else other than face-to-face communication)
Long term memories and unspoken feelings refers to people I let down or something that I ought to do, yet I didn't NOT because she let me down like in this imagery case we are talking here. There are many reasons why she doesn't like me (differ from case to case basis) A relationship, when concluded, has two ending. One is a poor ending, the other is on a good note. If a relationship were to end on a poor note like this case - it has nothing to do with WHAT can you do, rather the emphasis is on so WHY?
A good note ending has two effect - neutral and positive. Neutral refers to ending of relationship on account of one-side decision (regardless of whether the other party desire or not - however he/she respect her decision) Causal friendship is enable as well.
Positive ending is via two mutual agreement to end relationship.
P.S: Why feel that an ending of a relationship is something negative when, in fact, many people would begin to 'see' many views/preceptions/pointers/etc only after the death of one relationship, directly or indirectly due to their personality? Everything has a reason behind it - when you source for the reason, the truth seemed so logic.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Ric_Ong:For me, I would definitely have extreme hatred for them inititially....but after some careful thoughts.... will have to look at circumstances....
1) Have I done anything wrong to the relationship that gave the third party a chance to strike?
2) Are both myself and my loved at fault for not maintaining the relationship strong enough for the third party to come in?
3) Is my loved one too frivolous and looking for another 'fresh change' in a relationship even though I have done my best to maintain a strong bond between us?
hhmm.. haven't encountered before. maybe destroy the obstacle? -
sometimes...its hard to understand. A third party doesnt mean that he is a bad person, or a cause to your breakup. Perhaps its something that you have done wrong or lack of. For everything that happens, think before you act. Its hard to acheive but its something that most people tend to forget.
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Pal, like u said, every case has it's uniqueness..but personally, I feel that if the gal really really loves u deeply......no matter there are 1/2/3/ or 100 third-parties, she won't leave u.....even if she needed someone then...she could have confided in you....and let u know the situation/circumstance she was in....so that both of u, as a loving couple, can try to understand each other's problems...that is very impt for a lasting relationship....communication...Originally posted by heartbroken07:well, it happened to me too. still happening actually. In my case, I believe my gf is not to be blamed, She needed someone to be there, and I was not, I can only blame myself. The third party is just lucky to strike at the right time and makes things complicated for me trying to get my gf to understand why I wasn't there. I hate him more. I think all third party are a$$hol3s and deserves to die a horrible death.
of course every case has it's uniqueness.
If she really loves u and wants to keep the relationship...she will go through obstacles to convey her situation to u.....and if u still dun appreciate her efforts...then she is right to leave u...but if she does not even give u a chance to sit together to solve the problem....how can u blame yourself totally?? -
Haha...I will also do the same as u...for me, I will try to hide all my emotions (though heart bleeding)...and not show too much outwardly....this helps me move forward and also not let them feel arrogant.....Originally posted by UrbanSoul:I will juz remain cool, nv CRY, coz the more u cry the gal/girl will be more arrogant, this bitches n bastard-they suck big time.....
I may have lost someone I loved deeply..but she also has lost someone who loved her deeply... (a quote from someone here) -
Keeping a cool-headed attitude doesn't mean that one is unemotional.Originally posted by shaunlaw:can u really keep a cool when u noe ur gf is stolen by others? are u really tt unemotional?
The feelings for me in sequence:
Hatred/Anger Try to think the reasons why gf was stolen My fault/her fault/both fault? Try not to show too much emotions to them as this helps u move forward and also not let them feel arrogant Life goes on
As u can see, even if u lost your cool and want to punch the third party...how will u benefit from it? U might be arrested.....and gf will still nt return to u...in the end, it's them who have the last laugh...u might as well move forward...and then someday....u may find a better one...who knows??... -
U know, sometimes when u have tried everything in the world to get her back from the third party.....and then she still won't feel touched....so...how will u handle it?Originally posted by SoonKeong:I think no matter what, i will not just let her go without giving effort to make her stay. What about thinking, why doesnt she like you already?
Since you already mention there will be a long term memory and unspoken feelings, den why let her go so easily? Is trying effort to keep her so difficult?
I dunnoe, i just feel that if relationship just involved letting ur partner leave just like that, then that's something really disappointing about
For me...once I have tried all ways..and she's still insistent...then it's better to let her go....why?? Since it's her decision and she feels happier this way....then why not grant her wish? Rather than both suffering....?? Letting a gal goes can also be a way of loving her...cos u respect her wishes....and u know she feels happier...
I emphasise...after u have tried all ways...and it still futile...then better let her go...and u gotta carry on with life.... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
haha...I am an Aquarius.. The fixed nature of four signs - Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio (especially) and Taurus must evolved and learn the beauty of respecting space, decision, freedom and the ideal to leave when the chapter has to close.
The thinking of why doesn't she like me isn't the main issue. Of course, when you ponder and analysis your relationship, you will eventually discover why. For me, the thing isn't about the action leaving - its about the fact that she is able to tell me straight in the face that she is leaving for another person that makes this relationship more or less concluded. (I do not accept sms, emails, letters, or anything else other than face-to-face communication)
Long term memories and unspoken feelings refers to people I let down or something that I ought to do, yet I didn't NOT because she let me down like in this imagery case we are talking here. There are many reasons why she doesn't like me (differ from case to case basis) A relationship, when concluded, has two ending. One is a poor ending, the other is on a good note. If a relationship were to end on a poor note like this case - it has nothing to do with WHAT can you do, rather the emphasis is on [b]so WHY?
A good note ending has two effect - neutral and positive. Neutral refers to ending of relationship on account of one-side decision (regardless of whether the other party desire or not - however he/she respect her decision) Causal friendship is enable as well.
Positive ending is via two mutual agreement to end relationship.
P.S: Why feel that an ending of a relationship is something negative when, in fact, many people would begin to 'see' many views/preceptions/pointers/etc only after the death of one relationship, directly or indirectly due to their personality? Everything has a reason behind it - when you source for the reason, the truth seemed so logic.
Cheers [/b]
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weeeeeeee u weeeeee~Originally posted by Yunhaier:Regardless of whoever my gf is, if she were to leave me for another guy, I will NOT do anything to stop her. I will not hate her, rather I will respect her decision, though firmly mark in my mind this girl can no longer return to me ever again. I gain from this: She has lost a guy who loved her and me, lost a girl that doesn't love me.
Cheers
salute sia..... -
I know she loves me, I know bout the other numberous cases where she just rejected other guys because of me. But I just don't know why she just decided to give up so suddenly. and so persistently too. no matter what I do to convince her that we can still try to patch things up. But now with the third party, things became more complicated. I have suddenly switched my role as the main cast to the third party... don't you just hate it how life likes to play these tricks on you?Originally posted by Ric_Ong:Pal, like u said, every case has it's uniqueness..but personally, I feel that if the gal really really loves u deeply......no matter there are 1/2/3/ or 100 third-parties, she won't leave u.....even if she needed someone then...she could have confided in you....and let u know the situation/circumstance she was in....so that both of u, as a loving couple, can try to understand each other's problems...that is very impt for a lasting relationship....communication...
If she really loves u and wants to keep the relationship...she will go through obstacles to convey her situation to u.....and if u still dun appreciate her efforts...then she is right to leave u...but if she does not even give u a chance to sit together to solve the problem....how can u blame yourself totally??
In my case, I feel bad because i believe that if I treated her better, and I do think I have already treat her quite good, maybe not good enough, If I actually took enough time out of my job to be with her... maybe she would not let go so easily. My only regret... -
For me, I would say that if she comes back one day, I will always accept her again. but I don't think the chances of that happening is very high... hehe... HOPE is a good thing though.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Regardless of whoever my gf is, if she were to leave me for another guy, I will NOT do anything to stop her. I will not hate her, rather I will respect her decision, though firmly mark in my mind this girl can no longer return to me ever again. I gain from this: She has lost a guy who loved her and me, lost a girl that doesn't love me.
Cheers -
Aquarius ar~Originally posted by Ric_Ong:haha...I am an Aquarius.. The fixed nature of four signs - Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio (especially) and Taurus must evolved and learn the beauty of respecting space, decision, freedom and the ideal to leave when the chapter has to close
So I am right ya?
*Grins*
Cheers -
Originally posted by heartbroken07:For me, I would say that if she comes back one day, I will always accept her again. but I don't think the chances of that happening is very high... hehe... HOPE is a good thing though. This decision will bring about other problems as well. Of course, I am not going to rant it now for this is totally another topic altogether.
P.S: Hope is a good thing - delusion and false hope can kill.
Cheers -
I underwent the same thing as u....felt remorseful...i regretted my actions....i called and called..and persuaded and persuaded...but in the end it's still futile...Originally posted by heartbroken07:I know she loves me, I know bout the other numberous cases where she just rejected other guys because of me. But I just don't know why she just decided to give up so suddenly. and so persistently too. no matter what I do to convince her that we can still try to patch things up. But now with the third party, things became more complicated. I have suddenly switched my role as the main cast to the third party... don't you just hate it how life likes to play these tricks on you?
In my case, I feel bad because i believe that if I treated her better, and I do think I have already treat her quite good, maybe not good enough, If I actually took enough time out of my job to be with her... maybe she would not let go so easily. My only regret...
I was caught by surprise too...she was wif me for 8 years...thought she would be with me forever.....then just gone....I regretted a lot...that I should have shown her more love....
But now...it's too late...we gotta except that it's too late....and to move on.
Take this: If u really love her...u really gotta let her go.....since u have done everything and she's still insistent....it's showing her love and respect..........let it go.......I have done it.....pain...but still must do it... -
hmm... ...u hav to face the music.. once one part of feelin is lost, no way will it come back again.... no use tinkin abt it....one day someone will apreciate ur loveOriginally posted by Ric_Ong:For me, I would definitely have extreme hatred for them inititially....but after some careful thoughts.... will have to look at circumstances....
1) Have I done anything wrong to the relationship that gave the third party a chance to strike?
2) Are both myself and my loved at fault for not maintaining the relationship strong enough for the third party to come in?
3) Is my loved one too frivolous and looking for another 'fresh change' in a relationship even though I have done my best to maintain a strong bond between us? -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:Everything has a reason behind it - when you source for the reason, the truth seemed so logic.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:So I am right ya?
*Grins*
Cheers