How do you cope with your ex-beau having a new bf/gf
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just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy... -
ain't it the way?
there is NO short cut to stop feeling like this, no easy way out..
grin and bear it, until time wears away the jagged edges..
i know.. i've been there.. -
how abt go out wif ur frens/pals...Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy... -
Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy...
Once you are evolved, you will see through this phrase in no time. If she started dating soon after leaving you - it speaks much about her character and thank god, you and her are finished. If she started much later, I would feel happy if she is happy.
Cheers -
erm... why in the first place did u 2 break up? From the way u said in your post... i guess she dumped u?Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy... -
well I wouldn't say she dumped me, but she felt that we grew apart, I feel that it was because of our job, both of us is in the IT industry, well to those who are in it, they should understand the crazy hours we have to put in. Though I really tried to spent as much time I can spare just to be with her... but guessed it's not enough for her.Originally posted by kurai:erm... why in the first place did u 2 break up? From the way u said in your post... i guess she dumped u?
Soon, she felt that we don't do much things together anymore, we don't have anything in common anymore. So she took the bold step and ended it. and immediately after that, she told me she is seeing another guy who is working at the same company as her.
Well, I know you guys will think that she left me for the other guy, but I know her... and she is not that kind of person. I believe and I trust her.
You should have seen us together when we first started. We were so happy together. Doing everything together. Now, I don't understand how we can suddenly be so distant. -
well I wouldn't say she dumped me, but she felt that we grew apart, I feel that it was because of our job, both of us is in the IT industry, well to those who are in it, they should understand the crazy hours we have to put in. Though I really tried to spent as much time I can spare just to be with her... but guessed it's not enough for her.Originally posted by kurai:erm... why in the first place did u 2 break up? From the way u said in your post... i guess she dumped u?
Soon, she felt that we don't do much things together anymore, we don't have anything in common anymore. So she took the bold step and ended it. and immediately after that, she told me she is seeing another guy who is working at the same company as her.
Well, I know you guys will think that she left me for the other guy, but I know her... and she is not that kind of person. I believe and I trust her.
You should have seen us together before. We were so happy together. Doing everything together. We were so compatible with each other. It's like we were made for each other.Now, I don't understand how we can suddenly be so distant.
Anyway, sort of guessed that things will never be the same again, and guess she will never come back to me. just hard to take now especially the thought about her going out with other guys...
Time will heal I hope, and I hope time will passed faster then....
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man wat u wrote sounds like something i would type, almost word for word.
ESPECIALLY the part where "you should've seen us together". those that knew us thought we were gonna get married. or that we SHOULD get married, right there and then!
anyway! it's not easy. i dunno how long it's been for u, but the first six months for me was an absolute FU[/i]CK. sorree man i just couldn't find a better word.
now it's 2 years. much much better of course, live has gone on, actually we've lost contact. if i ever saw or spoke to her again i'd be lost. how do u treat a stranger that used to be your everything? i wouldn't wanna ans that question.
good luck with ur healing pal. some days are better than others. hope u have more better days than worse days!
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i have no problem with it.......it's 2 extremes.....either i give both of them my blessings, or i wish the new girl good luck
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yeah... I was thinking about proposing to her soon... but she beat me to it, so yeah, F*CKed up is exactly the word to describe it... ha ha.. well it's been 2 months now... I don't feel any better. in fact sometimes I do feel better, other times.. I just lie on my bed and rot away...Originally posted by jOhO:man wat u wrote sounds like something i would type, almost word for word.
ESPECIALLY the part where "you should've seen us together". those that knew us thought we were gonna get married. or that we SHOULD get married, right there and then!
anyway! it's not easy. i dunno how long it's been for u, but the first six months for me was an absolute FU[/i]CK. sorree man i just couldn't find a better word.
now it's 2 years. much much better of course, live has gone on, actually we've lost contact. if i ever saw or spoke to her again i'd be lost. how do u treat a stranger that used to be your everything? i wouldn't wanna ans that question.
good luck with ur healing pal. some days are better than others. hope u have more better days than worse days!
I do agree with you... I don't really know how to speak to her anymore, used to be, we have so much to talk about.. now when I call her, well she just kept quiet, some days I hear her laugh and I felt happy, others and more often, well she will sound very cold... guess this invisible brick wall is gonna be there...
well... encouraging myself to move on.. har har... move on I will one day, but get over her, I really don't think so... cos to me, she's perfect, and I will never find another like her again. -
Well, know u are feeling horrible now. Me too....25,knew her since 8 yrs ago, married for 4 years, 2 beautiful children. From lovers, going out together, to having a family.....now everything's gone....wife left wif one child....many things led to the seperation...and this was only abt 2mths ago....it was a sudden decision by her..Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy...
Life sucks.....really...esp during weekends when I bring my child out...and seeing all those couples wif their kids....can u imagine the horrendous feeling? Somemore I suspect there are someone in her life rite nw..
At that time, I was engaging in self-pity, thinking bk the happy moments... and no mood for work (can u imagine starting work when wife just left the previous day?)...or anything at all....but it's great that I have a best pal and loved ones who have been supporting me all this while.......
Life still gotta carry on....it's not the time to ponder who is at fault nw....cause it's simply useless...As I have told u several times, u gotta let her go..if u had already done yr best to salvage the situation. Again.......if u really love her, u gotta let her go and carry on wif life...easier said than done......but u still have to do it ya?
Have to move on........no matter what.. -
Well, if she decided to leave, then you shouldn't hold on to her. cos you are just delaying the inveitable.
it's hard to forget a person who you still hold losta feelings for. i believe you gave more then receiving in this relation.
but since you have such a tight work schedule, just channel your energy to it and not tink abt her.
except on off days, it does get a lil harder then. maybe can arrange to meet up wif your buddies and have some fun. -
OMG... 25 and married for 8 years, u married when u were 17?!?!Originally posted by Ric_Ong:Well, know u are feeling horrible now. Me too....25,married for 8 yrs, 2 beautiful children. From lovers, going out together, to having a family.....now everything's gone....wife left wif one child....many things led to the seperation...and this was only abt 2mths ago....it was a sudden decision by her..
oh my goodness...
My uncle once told me before that when couples marry too young, usually the marriage wouldn't last. The two people usually just aren't mature enough, whether mentally or financially or watever. I guess he must be right. -
hmmm. ...how about gettting urself another ger fre so that u won't feel so sad anymore..Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy... -
contact ur old frens or good fren.. go out enjoy urself rather den thinking abt her.. i been thru wad u going thru now.. slowly..Originally posted by heartbroken07:just wanted to know how you guys/gal get over the fact that your ex-love ones are seeing other people now. well I find it so hard to take, especially the weekends when it feels a bit weird that I keep on thinking she's must be out having fun with the other guy now... and I am here alone, thinking about her, missing her so much.
I know I shouldn't bother, she is not my gf anymore, but still I love her.
If anyone has any easy way I can get over this feeling, please advice.... cos I really wish I was the one who is there being with her rather than the other guy...
like in other topic.. time will heal..
meanwhile juz go out and enjoy urself.. u arent attach.. go out anf haf fun.. see gers and disturb dem.. -
Sorrie, posted wrongly. Have edited. Knew her 8 yrs but married 4 yrs. Anyway, when we got married, it was nt shot-gun or anything like that. It's that we decided to get married bcos we felt that we were meant for one another. Financially we were alrite. However, maybe like what u said, psychologically, not that lasting....Originally posted by kurai:OMG... 25 and married for 8 years, u married when u were 17?!?!
oh my goodness...
My uncle once told me before that when couples marry too young, usually the marriage wouldn't last. The two people usually just aren't mature enough, whether mentally or financially or watever. I guess he must be right. -
Originally posted by jOhO:man wat u wrote sounds like something i would type, almost word for word.
ESPECIALLY the part where "you should've seen us together". those that knew us thought we were gonna get married. or that we SHOULD get married, right there and then!
anyway! it's not easy. i dunno how long it's been for u, but the first six months for me was an absolute FU[/i]CK. sorree man i just couldn't find a better word.
now it's 2 years. much much better of course, live has gone on, actually we've lost contact. if i ever saw or spoke to her again i'd be lost. how do u treat a stranger that used to be your everything? i wouldn't wanna ans that question.
good luck with ur healing pal. some days are better than others. hope u have more better days than worse days! I sense your past fury - it reminded me of Elva's song; zui shou xi de mo shen ren (The most familiar stranger).
Don't worry, you still have me!!
Cheers -
In Singapore - Its not good to marry early regardless of how prepared you are. Seriously, you never knew.Originally posted by Ric_Ong:Sorrie, posted wrongly. Have edited. Knew her 8 yrs but married 4 yrs. Anyway, when we got married, it was nt shot-gun or anything like that. It's that we decided to get married bcos we felt that we were meant for one another. Financially we were alrite. However, maybe like what u said, psychologically, not that lasting....
Remember, you have the rest of your life to enjoy and be in married-life. Though you are very very very very sure that this partner is the one you would ever want to see waking up beside you everyday, then its still no rush yeah?
Cheers -
Thks for yr advice. Ha....anyway it's already been done. Life gotta go on!Originally posted by Yunhaier:In Singapore - Its not good to marry early regardless of how prepared you are. Seriously, you never knew.
Remember, you have the rest of your life to enjoy and be in married-life. Though you are very very very very sure that this partner is the one you would ever want to see waking up beside you everyday, then its still no rush yeah?
Cheers
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well love is blind I guess, I believe that no couples marry each other thinking that they will get divorce later on...
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eheh thanx bro~~Originally posted by Yunhaier: I sense your past fury - it reminded me of Elva's song; zui shou xi de mo shen ren (The most familiar stranger).
Don't worry, you still have me!!
Cheers
it's been a while but sh[/i]it man it's still fresh as a daisy in my memory. -
got a confession to make...
the "closure" i had with Her was not good.. and i made it so
it had to be... she said that she was with someone new...
so i told her, so, we will never meet again... even tho' every cell in me wanted to see her...
coz if she met me again, i would never be able to hide my feelings for her.. i never could... so, i said my goodbyes and farewell.. i will never see her again..
i will never ever want her or her guy to feel insecure that i'm around... so i grin and bear it.. i will never see her again.. if it is the price i have to pay for her and her new love to feel secure, for him to have complete trust in her, for her to be happy, then so be it...
how would one cope with an ex-beau whom i still love finding another? grin and bear it, hope she is happy and never step into her life into her light again..
she felt that i have not let go.. maybe it is so... i love her, and always will.. therefore i had to make her feel that i am totally out of her life and take myself out of her life completely.. and never ever hear from her again...
it hurts.. damn it hurts... but i can do no less..
she will never know this... nor will i ever want her to know this..
she now has her life, and i have mine...
that's how i cope...
i hope this rambling confession helps your healing...
peace be with youOriginally posted by heartbroken07:well love is blind I guess, I believe that no couples marry each other thinking that they will get divorce later on... -
har har. I wished I did the same. I think she knows that I have not gotten over her. I did the same thing, well after much begging for her to come back, I eventually forced myself , yeah really dragged my myself through a field of thorns, and told her that I wish her and the new guy good luck, and I will never look back again.Originally posted by the Bear:got a confession to make...
the "closure" i had with Her was not good.. and i made it so
it had to be... she said that she was with someone new...
so i told her, so, we will never meet again... even tho' every cell in me wanted to see her...
coz if she met me again, i would never be able to hide my feelings for her.. i never could... so, i said my goodbyes and farewell.. i will never see her again..
i will never ever want her or her guy to feel insecure that i'm around... so i grin and bear it.. i will never see her again.. if it is the price i have to pay for her and her new love to feel secure, for him to have complete trust in her, for her to be happy, then so be it...
how would one cope with an ex-beau whom i still love finding another? grin and bear it, hope she is happy and never step into her life into her light again..
she felt that i have not let go.. maybe it is so... i love her, and always will.. therefore i had to make her feel that i am totally out of her life and take myself out of her life completely.. and never ever hear from her again...
it hurts.. damn it hurts... but i can do no less..
she will never know this... nor will i ever want her to know this..
she now has her life, and i have mine...
that's how i cope...
i hope this rambling confession helps your healing...
peace be with you
I do agree with you... I don't wanna see her again, not so soon at least, I have not met her since we broke up. I think it would really hurt me to see her again, double the pain to see her with the other guy. think eventually I have to force myself to stop calling and emailing her too.
Really love her man... really do... wants her to be happy, even if it means stabbing myself with a knife. -
hmms..i noe how u feel...its tis feelin where u feel really really sad..as u see the person u love going out wif sumone else..i've had tis feeling b4..and it realli hurts...hmms...try to relax..and let things go on its own...go out wif ur frenz...and haf more outings...avoid going to places where u think u'll see ur ex..
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Just make sure she is the one before you commit. In fact... you should not even commit before you commit.