Originally posted by B_ored:I noe Bear.. but she has broken up with him for a year already.. Shouldn't feelings die after a year?
Yes, she's worth it.. giving myself a year or so.... ; )Originally posted by the Bear:may happen for you.. may not happen for her..
some people go through a lifetime getting over their lost love...
ask yourself.. is she worth the wait?
Originally posted by B_ored:....but its always these subtle hints that kept me going strong.
One thing for sure is that she definitely knows that I am going after her but what is she thinking of???
What should I do now? Should I carry on or simply give up on her? I am quite certain that if I asked her for her opinion on this issue, she is likely to say that "We need more time to know each other better before going further."
I've asked her a few days back.. She said that she will not go out with a guy for so many dates if she dun like him or do not have any slight feeling for him.. and also she needs time. She also opined that we will need more time to know each other...Originally posted by choco B:Avoidance is a bad sign. Shows lack of interest in you.
Don't put too much faith in subtle hints. Everyone's a natural flirt; you could be jumping into conclusions and giving yourself false hope.
You HAVE to ask her if she likes you at all, or if she is willing to give you a chance. Don't assume or try to read her mind. At the moment you're just shooting and waiting blindly.
Originally posted by B_ored:I've asked her a few days back.. She said that she will not go out with a guy for so many dates if she dun like him or do not have any slight feeling for him.. and also she needs time. She also opined that we will need more time to know each other...
But based on what she said, shouldn't she at least take some initiative and spend more time with me to know me better? Rather than spending more time with her frends?
But does she even know that she is indirectly hurting me so badly? I dun even know what to do now... Taking things slowly.. She is not even available to spend Xmas with me...sob.Originally posted by Devil1976:INSTINCTIVELY.
She'd already mentioned of how she's disappointed in relationships because of past hurt. Her willingness to spend time with you shows a considerable amount of interest or at least not a detest, little things she've said and added further strengthen that belief.
Things took a turn when her ex comes back to haunt her. You were overseas and not around. Vulnerable point for your relationship (not referring to BGR) with her.
Her sudden interest with friends rather than you somehow suggest an indirect REGRESSION. It's sort of like a mild withdrawal symptom.
The Bear has spoken quite a good suggestion. Try to take things slow. You'll have to understand that the problem doesn't just lies with her accepting you or not. It also sees the need for her to overcome her own psychological barrier.
It probably won't an easy thing. Because you'll have to 1st help her get out of it before you can even talk about your relationship with her. And there's a likely chance that she could be quite vulnerable even thereafter.
Regards.
anyone else can help me on this? please...Originally posted by B_ored:But does she even know that she is indirectly hurting me so badly? I dun even know what to do now... Taking things slowly.. She is not even available to spend Xmas with me...sob.
All I can tell you is that she's possibly in regression. She'll probably need you to walk her out of it (if you intend to start a chance into a relationship with her). And the story probably won't end from there. Can expect more hardship for the relationship and problems from her.Originally posted by B_ored:But does she even know that she is indirectly hurting me so badly? I dun even know what to do now... Taking things slowly.. She is not even available to spend Xmas with me...sob.
Originally posted by B_ored:anyone else can help me on this? please...
Dear B_ored,Originally posted by B_ored:I know this girl by the name of Lynn when I had my first meeting in this new company. She is one of the business associates that we have dealings with. I was mesmerized by looks and good character but I have never thought that I will ever have the opportunity to have her as a girlfriend, if not friend. One thing for sure, I would think that I am rather average looking and did not really impressed her that much.
Months passed, and chances came by whereby I managed to get her cell phone number through business dealings. Initially, we sms and emailed each other about work and slowly progress towards more personal stuff.
Eventually, we had our first date. It was really smooth sailing and the more I know her, the more I fell for her. She would tell me how hurt she was due to her previous relationship. We would sms each other almost every night and chat once in a while on the phone. Though I was the one who initiated most of the dates and smses, I was already contented that she would go out with me. We went out together to do shopping, movies, dinner, etc.
Then came a day, whereby I need to travel aboard for a business trip for about a week. I try smsing her when I was abroad but she did not reply at all. When I call her, she said that she is moody because her ex came back to contact her. I was really devastated then, my whole world seemed to explode.
When I came back, she no longer email me and seldom sms me. She seems to drift away from me further and further but I have no idea why. Though I still ask her out, it seems that she always placed top priority for her friends' appointments compared to mine. There was this outing whereby she told me that her ex kept smsing her, wanting to patch back but her heart has already die. There are times when I felt like giving up thinking that she does not have any interest in taking this relationship further but its always these subtle hints that kept me going strong.
It has been 3 months since our first date, and now I was really tired, mixed, and vexed.. not knowing what to do next. Everything seemed so uncertain. I once told her that I really miss her and wanted to see her more often and she told me that she belongs to the slow type??? One thing for sure is that she definitely knows that I am going after her but what is she thinking of???
What should I do now? Should I carry on or simply give up on her? I am quite certain that if I asked her for her opinion on this issue, she is likely to say that "We need more time to know each other better before going further."
Any kind souls out there to help this lost soul?![]()