problematic
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bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble? -
since its work so bobian, hv to understand lor, but since gf nt hapi then should tell bf n try to solve it or else it may reali be in trouble in long run... but wat job he holding? it doesnt mean bf love gf jz bcos he got her a present, its the heart tat counts.. as i said communication impt in tis situation or else u assume tis, he assume tat, then will end up in bad situation....Originally posted by tibirg:bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble? -
Originally posted by tibirg:
just curious. why are you using a $90-$100 gift for xmas as a gauge to your relationship?
bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble?
people need to work. at least he is not around for the right reason.
if you dont feel good about it, speak to him.
if you have doubts, speak to him. -
exactly.... you not happy ask him nicely or jokinly about it... (dun make it like interrogation) that way there be lesser doubt and suspicion...Originally posted by www:just curious. why are you using a $90-$100 gift for xmas as a gauge to your relationship?
people need to work. at least he is not around for the right reason.
if you dont feel good about it, speak to him.
if you have doubts, speak to him. -
this gf needs to talk to her bf about this. make it clear to him, that he is not spending much time with her, but make sure it's done properly and gently. cause the bf may blow up and accuse her of not being understanding enuff.
if the bf is mature enuff, he'll understand her concerns and hopefully make some amends to his schedule and the time he spends with her.
just my 2 cents worth, but it may not work for all ppl ... -
zZz.. he has to work, i think its good..
u just hv to give and take, u can't expect when u get married, he spend all day at home with u right?
its good preparation for him, to provide for you next time.
u just have to be more understanding and less paranoid. tell him gifts aren't as impt as him. as long as he understands that. no problem. -
u the gf ah?Originally posted by tibirg:bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble? -
if there's a problem, it's communication.. the gf should let the bf know how she feels..
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u like the ger correct. their relationship may nt be dat smooth sailing but can tell u one thing for sure..the ger will not because of this then have a liking for you. She stil loves her bf veri much and u dun have a chance....you realli dun...Originally posted by tibirg:bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble? -
Agree with this. There MIGHT or might not be any correlations. Anyway, it's just a guessing game? So why let guessing determine which direction should a relationship go?Originally posted by www:just curious. why are you using a $90-$100 gift for xmas as a gauge to your relationship? -
instead of getting upset u shld support & be proud of ur man.
He is spending time on his career wic means its a part of ur future too.. Rather then on soccer rite..
I think the last thing he need now is a confrontation/quarrel. So if both of u are sitting down for dinner just casually ask him why are he so busy.. u gotta be in his shoes to know wats he is going through.. If ur working too u shld know wat one go through..
I guess all man wanna be sucessful in their job, maybe he's in a big proj?
Just hold on okay? U never know after all these he will treasure u more.. -
This gf need to have a talk with her bf. at least let him understand what she is feeling else when suddenly this gf cannot tahan anymore, it will be too overwhelming for the bf to accept and there comes all the usual 'why u cannot understand me?', 'why u make such a big fuss over this small thing? I am only working mah...', etc.
good luck
mery christmas -
thnx peeps.
and to whoever curious/wrong, yup, im referring to myself. im the gf.
yes yes, most of u say that i shd talk to him abt it. but im really afraid to open my mouth talkin abt such things to him face-to-face. i really suck at that. 1) im afraid he'll get angry n say y im not supporting/understanding him when in fact, i shd. 2) im scared i'll say e wrong things and cause more misunderstandings.
he has been working thru late nights for the past few months. initially, i wasnt happy but i kept quiet. i tried to understand his position/feelings. and i gave in. but i cannot say i feel totally happy abt it. n since ive kept quiet abt it for so many months....is it unfair for him to suddenly hear all these problems thrown onto him....?
all right. as for the present's cost thingy. ok, mayb i shdnt use that as a gauge
thnx again -
he cant exactly read ur mind. plus if unhappiness are not being expressed when required, it could lead to somewhere undesirable...
u could tell him that as much as you understand his situation, you would like to have more time with him.
as a good and understanding boyfriend, he should work thing out with you. -
Guys are guys - when they know they MAY be neglecting their gf, they try to compensate it through buying gifts/presents at higher worth, which they will eventually figure out that it will equate to nothing in the end.Originally posted by tibirg:bf is spending lesser time with gf because of work lately. used to talk on phone together every night. go out together almost all e time. now(since work started), rarely talk on phone, only sms. go out together once a week. he comes back from work as late as 2-3am. earliest 12+ am. coz of work. gf doesnt feel good abt it but keep it to herself.
when go out, bf receives sms/calls frequently. gf presumes they r work-related. keeps quiet but actually not too happy inside.
then bf buying a $90-$100 gift for gf for xmas. does that mean he really love her? is e relationship really in trouble?
Problems of the heart can never be satisfied through material possession, because if it does, its never love involved. You pamper each other irregularly, like you enjoys an occasional sharkfin or birdnest and NOT one blast on one occasion which you have to give and you raise the value to substitude for your lack of attention previously.
Don't keep quiet! That's the last thing you ought to do. But don't trash it out with him because he did nothing wrong in a way.
Communicate and share you thoughts and ideas with him. Seek to understand his work and his side of his story. Allow him to share his pressure with you. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he has done nothing wrong, yet. At the same time, tell him how you feel. He has to know what's wrong, so that you don't one day trash hell with him and him totally lost about what has happened in the relationship.
P.S: Last time call everyday, go out all the time, etc - doesn't mean this has to go on forever. Events in love is highly volatile - be adaptable and making amends along the way in your love together. In this way, your relationship will survive eventually - with a little hardwork to fuel it.
Cheers -
you should not think for him in this way... maybe he will feel happier coz u are willing to share with him ur feelings and also would like to share his??? if u continue to think and assume what ur actions may bring, u will create more misunderstandings by not voicing out ur true feelings.Originally posted by tibirg:1) im afraid he'll get angry n say y im not supporting/understanding him when in fact, i shd. 2) im scared i'll say e wrong things and cause more misunderstandings. -
Have ya seen the movie 'Anger Management'? Sometimes in a relationship, the situation is a little of the same...Originally posted by tibirg:thnx peeps.
and to whoever curious/wrong, yup, im referring to myself. im the gf.
yes yes, most of u say that i shd talk to him abt it. but im really afraid to open my mouth talkin abt such things to him face-to-face. i really suck at that. 1) im afraid he'll get angry n say y im not supporting/understanding him when in fact, i shd. 2) im scared i'll say e wrong things and cause more misunderstandings.
he has been working thru late nights for the past few months. initially, i wasnt happy but i kept quiet. i tried to understand his position/feelings. and i gave in. but i cannot say i feel totally happy abt it. n since ive kept quiet abt it for so many months....is it unfair for him to suddenly hear all these problems thrown onto him....?
all right. as for the present's cost thingy. ok, mayb i shdnt use that as a gauge
thnx again
Don't keep EVERYTHING to yourself. In most sense, no ordinary human can do that. You'll probably just BURST OUT in a matter of time? Instead of risking your relationship that way (if you truly treasure your relationship), tries to go SLOW and EASY on this one... Let him know the things you feel that he should know... No doubt he may be facing things from his part of life... But when things are happening in your relationship with him, you can't simply close one eye and pretend that NOTHING is happening... Especially if this matter can drag on for quite a while... Let him know at the appropriate times... Share little things with him... It's always better that way than to find yourself bursting out one day or just leaving him quietly simply because you can't take it anymore...
Be fair to yourself... Be fair to him...
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a gift is not about how expensive the gift is or rather how much effort have you put in ..