Pissed off and depressed.
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Oh i feel like i could kill right now. I am going back to school next week, and I already am feeling depressed about going back. Back to that island with me as Tom Hanks, all buy myself being the only one of my accursed kind dat is. I can't really talk to my classmates and all, well I can, but they don't talk to me, its happening all over again. I am stood up this shit for 5 years now, I doubt I can stand it any longer. My heart really aches you know? I've got no one to ask stuff about hw and shit, not that they would tell me anywayz.
Someone told me it was because i hardly hung around them, well whenever I WAS THERE around them, I still got no communication so like what the fuck? Its not my fault. Yet I can communicate easily with my other friends, my white friends, and they tell me I gotta get outta there. But its like, if that's true then it really is a CLASh of civilisation and species, i feel so ashamed sometimes and confused.
Whatever, I am just rambling, helps me to unload you know? Otherwise it would be just me talking to the 4 walls of this room.
I don;t want to go back, but I have to, oh lord help me for once. -
what island? i'm kinda confused
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Being in my damn school is like being on an island, didn't they make u study ponsy poetry??? I am saying I hate school because I feel so fucken isolated you twit!
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Sorry.. its just that I feel like i am all by myself at school, like being on an island. Sorry for calling u a twit
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looks like i know the reason why you feel like thatOriginally posted by men_@_arms:Being in my damn school is like being on an island, didn't they make u study ponsy poetry??? I am saying I hate school because I feel so fucken isolated you twit! -
cool it bro
everything can be resolved man! -
make an effort?
or did you expect them to come to you? -
No it damn well cannot. This has gone on and on and on, and it WILL go on and on and on. This is a clash of the species, it should be a universal law that some people just don't mix! We are not all the same. We all have different wavelengths and shit, to the extent that the oddballs die out.
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oh i hurt i am going to lie down now. none of you understand my pain. Well maybe a few of you, there was one guy who said he couln't get along with his class, which doesn't make sense since he is local and all.
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trust me, you're not the only one. and Bear is right, it takes effort and lots of goodwill from your side. the minority always has the harder job
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I stay in my island too
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I don't believe people are made to get along with everyone. Sometimes you just can't fit in, despite efforts and you can't blame anyone. Just gotta look out for people with same wavelength, while being pleasant to the acquaintences. Being strong and independent helps.
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Oh yes I made the efforts, too much in fact. All for what? For nothing, did my parties and my help to those in need win me an ounce more conversation? Well i can tell you brother BEar.... the answer is NO
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one more thing, self-pity doesn't work. it doesn't get you anywhere. if you pity yourself, ppl will naturally find you boring.
perhaps, it's time to look at yourself first. just a thought, which may not apply to you, since that i haven't met you before. -
Ohhhh I have now freakin convinced not everyone is made for getting along with everyone. And this took me 5 fucking years to learn.
Do any of you know how much, this can make a man hurt inside? -
Oh the self pity is a recent thing mate, never had begining of the year.
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Ohhh I have looked at myself, yes I have. I am too different, I lack your spiky hair and eyes for one, I lack your courseness in hokkien, I lack the sophistication of disgusting Singaporean jokes revolving around female genitals. And I lack the wit and humour of talking about god knows what, I don't even know what they talk about anyway... plus I lack a skinny boney body which makes me look intimidating and daunting.. so much so I MAKE U QUAKE in fear of talking to me. Oh yes I lack lots of things, I have looked at myself so many times I fear to look in the mirror.
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Now i am going to sleep off this rage... it should subside later on only to resurface again when i've been on the island too long. which makes me an implosive person.
Night. -
hmm .... my friend from aust is working in singapore now and he has all the same problems that you said. not able to converse in hokkien and mandarin. and he definitely doesn't sound local, in fact some ppl here have met him
but, he has gotten past that problem ..... perhaps, you are yet to meet some nice ppl who are sensitive enough to your feelings as a non-local. and, yes, there are such ppl out there -
too much effort.. and you end up looking like some kinda person who tries too hard...
i dunno... you say island.. i've been alone ALL of my school days except the time i was in uni... and it wasn't by choice either..
you are not alone.. and.. heck.. this self-pity? makes people want to have nothing to do with you... -
Alright I've cooled down. Maybe I am not as alone as I think I was. So you guys know how awkward it is to be the oddball out huh? Great some people can sympathise, and bear says he suffered until Uni, maybe things will change for me in Uni, and that's another year away.
Euthjin says his Aussie friend has the same problems, maybe it goes more than langauge but more to race. Because I can speak mandarin, I genetically am a part of you people by blood, although I do not look it, its all about looks.
Hell, i've seen worse, I've been in the corps, I've suffered this for 5 years now, I can most certainly suck it up and take another year. I am a man!
In the end, suffering such shit, I will emerge the tougher guy and the strongest win because they have more power through their experiences! I shall ENDURE and SURVIVE! This just makes me wanna work harder, makes me wanna be a bit faster, makes me wanna go higher yeah!
Thanks mates.
Yet in my struggle with the hope that things change I despair, that things will not change. Its just like in previous schools, mum said things will change when i get to JC, well they haven;t
so why should they in UNi?
Still I'll just do it like the tough Man at Arms I am, or Terminator with no expression, I'll suck it up and be a survivor. -
Though I may not be totally like you... But I believe things can be done. There're Asians overseas for studies... Work... They face almost the same problem as you.. Yet, they learn to overcome it.... Instead of just complaining about it, think of ways to OVERCOME it.... As a Devil, even I can mix around with humans... (though not very well usually...) I don't see why you couldn't?Originally posted by men_@_arms:Alright I've cooled down. Maybe I am not as alone as I think I was. So you guys know how awkward it is to be the oddball out huh? Great some people can sympathise, and bear says he suffered until Uni, maybe things will change for me in Uni, and that's another year away.
Euthjin says his Aussie friend has the same problems, maybe it goes more than langauge but more to race. Because I can speak mandarin, I genetically am a part of you people by blood, although I do not look it, its all about looks.
Hell, i've seen worse, I've been in the corps, I've suffered this for 5 years now, I can most certainly suck it up and take another year. I am a man!
In the end, suffering such shit, I will emerge the tougher guy and the strongest win because they have more power through their experiences! I shall ENDURE and SURVIVE! This just makes me wanna work harder, makes me wanna be a bit faster, makes me wanna go higher yeah!
Thanks mates.
Yet in my struggle with the hope that things change I despair, that things will not change. Its just like in previous schools, mum said things will change when i get to JC, well they haven;t so why should they in UNi?
Still I'll just do it like the tough Man at Arms I am, or Terminator with no expression, I'll suck it up and be a survivor.
For a START, try to mix around in a smaller and closer group? Maybe even 1 or 2 to start with... People who can more readily accept you..? AND... DON'T give them trouble... At least that's a start?
Then you can also try changing your 'style'.... Every now and then, not too awkward... Until you FIT IN....? -
dun quite understand.. but to simplyfield.. u dun wanna go back to school huh?Originally posted by men_@_arms:Oh i feel like i could kill right now. I am going back to school next week, and I already am feeling depressed about going back. Back to that island with me as Tom Hanks, all buy myself being the only one of my accursed kind dat is. I can't really talk to my classmates and all, well I can, but they don't talk to me, its happening all over again. I am stood up this shit for 5 years now, I doubt I can stand it any longer. My heart really aches you know? I've got no one to ask stuff about hw and shit, not that they would tell me anywayz.
Someone told me it was because i hardly hung around them, well whenever I WAS THERE around them, I still got no communication so like what the fuck? Its not my fault. Yet I can communicate easily with my other friends, my white friends, and they tell me I gotta get outta there. But its like, if that's true then it really is a CLASh of civilisation and species, i feel so ashamed sometimes and confused.
Whatever, I am just rambling, helps me to unload you know? Otherwise it would be just me talking to the 4 walls of this room.
I don;t want to go back, but I have to, oh lord help me for once.
Bo Tak Che no future huh..
I'm heading back to books too next year...
But i'm happy!!
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I also living on an island..but not in sch..is at home...perpahs u could try to make frenz close to yr character..will make u feel better...
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THanks guys. I feel better. Today I went back to school feeling positive and relaxed, I felt content at being just ME.