Originally posted by ernestantan:
My gf and I have been apart for close to 6 months. I'm working overseas and we have a very close r/ship. We hope this r/ship will lead to something more intimate, ie. marriage, in 5 years' time.
We get to see each other twice a year when we take our annual leave and we chat over the phone every night for at least an hour each time.
But we're both worried that our r/ship wouldn't last long enough to walk down the aisle together... although we have confidence and trust in each other.
Hope to make this wonderful r/ship last?
Before I begin, you may like to type Long distance relationship in the box 'Search Forums' and probably you could find several topics related to this situation.
Long Distance Relationship (LDR) - are relationship on physical distance, yet trying to keep emotional distance close and knitted as possible. CloUdiSm Theory stated that without sufficient physical upkeep, it can only derive two effects.
I) Degeneration - Relation Life Cycle will slip into declining mode. This is especially true if the foundation of the relationship isn't very stable in the first place. Next depends on personality of partners and how they view their own relationship and the core definition of love. (NS for guys could also bring about this possible effect).

II) Absence-makes-the-heart-grows-founder - Generally, LDR should bring about this effect because both party wants to make things work out. They attempt to dump in efforts to remain emotionally close. But this will bring about one main issue: Allow me to suggest that if you both could keep this on going for two years, its really a feat. There are tons of other potential walking into and out of yours and hers lives. This psychological pull will easily make either one of you give up LDR.
Why? Would you rather pursue a relationship that has clearer future, stable and with more security? Or a relationship that is very risky, very virtual and requires at least two-to-three times more effort to maintain and upkeep?

A warning here: Do not attempt to picture in marriage when you are leading an LDR. She is not here physically around to enable you to understand and realise that IF she is really suitable for you. You can effort to take risk in BGR - but do not do that in marriage sense. You just never know if she has a fling/bf/ONS/etc there as well. (I know you will defend, but you can't rule out possibilities and I am here to analysis for you)

How to last? It's real difficult to say because 92.3% depends on the discipline and personality of the other party. But let me tell you, even the most disciplined guy/girl has their needs, temptation and desire. Trying to make things work is only part of the solution - the best suggestion would be to attempt to minimize physical distance gap when the iron is still hot. The key is to go to where she is (or she to you) before either one of you loses that patience/discipline.
P.S: Don't stall too long in LDR mode - because if it drags too long and no positive result occurs, that would be a great time lost for both you and her. LDR is mentally and emotionally exhausting because it's a blind faith.
We hold on because we believe.
Cheers