Triangle
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Im finally writing in Aunt Agony after some months of rosey static lifestyle. I never expect that things can jus hit a person so unexpectedly. *ha.
I'm unsure whether you would call this a love triangle. As a matter of fact, I ain't even certain of its definition. I was introduced to a bunch of girls recently. Actually, we sorta became friends during a chalet cus we were both staying side by side to one another.
We did some catching up here and there and gradually, one of them like me. So the rest of her girl friends are like trying to match up us. I respect that, it's a girl's thing. However, I myself, at the same time, fell for another one of them. This girl is like the 'leader' of the group. She's a humble and jovial person who drew many to her due to her attractive personality. Shortly later, I realised I have this admiration for her. I told her. She was pretty surprised but I also found out that she feels the same way too.
She refused to go any further with me cus she knows that her friend likes me. She comment that she rather back out so that her friend could stand a chance.
Hmm.. do girls usually behave this way? Sigh~ -
wee u weeeeeeee
this problem think guys in AA can't help u bah. maybe yunhaier can, but then again he might be wrong as this seriously is a girl thing. as far as i noe, there are 2 types, 1 is the selfish luver type, the other is the integrity girl type. which can be applicable 2 the girl u like. but sad to say, this 2 personality can exist in a person as well, so that person will be unsure of what to do. -
hmm.. i dunno.. what i see is that if u go for the girl that likes u... ur heart still stays wif the girl u like.. unless some unforseen event happened that u finally fall head over heel wif the girl who likes u?
if u go out wif the girl who likes u while ur heart stays wif the girl u like.. its like defeating the whole purpose rite? -
The main reason she wants to back out is to preserve the friendship she has with her current friend(s).
She wants to remain as friends with tat gal who likes you as well as her group of buddies...
Have you ever stood from her pt of view...how would her other frenz view her...since the bunch of them are now pairing you up with that gal who likes you....If she ends up with you now...do you think she can still face her frenz....esp that gal who likes you....
Love triangles are the worst scenarios in love...esp if the parties involved are friends to begin with...it makes the decision even more difficult....cos the friendship would be strained....
For most gals...if they really value the friendship with the other gal....Backing out is one of the easiest option....as it "cuts" short the sufferings...but it is cruel esp for the guy....
To guys it may seem irrational...but it has to do with being able to live with the guilt tat you "stole" your best fren's "bf" or not....
I would say most gals might choose the path that gal has chosen...only a small minority might do otherwise... -
Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:Im finally writing in Aunt Agony after some months of rosey static lifestyle. I never expect that things can jus hit a person so unexpectedly. *ha.
I'm unsure whether you would call this a love triangle. As a matter of fact, I ain't even certain of its definition. I was introduced to a bunch of girls recently. Actually, we sorta became friends during a chalet cus we were both staying side by side to one another.
We did some catching up here and there and gradually, one of them like me. So the rest of her girl friends are like trying to match up us. I respect that, it's a girl's thing. However, I myself, at the same time, fell for another one of them. This girl is like the 'leader' of the group. She's a humble and jovial person who drew many to her due to her attractive personality. Shortly later, I realised I have this admiration for her. I told her. She was pretty surprised but I also found out that she feels the same way too.
She refused to go any further with me cus she knows that her friend likes me. She comment that she rather back out so that her friend could stand a chance.
Hmm.. do girls usually behave this way? Sigh~
Seriously, I kinda hate this kind of situation, but sometimes, Cupid loved to put people in such plight, just to see how you get out of that pit-hole.
She comment that she rather back out so that her friend could stand a chance. - her attraction is not strong enough for her to do something drastic like to follow her heart. Her friends likes you and she rather give up her choice than to be branded as someone who 'steals' guys.
Its real silly how woman thinks (doesn't mean she back out definitely you would go with that girl or doesn't mean you would like her right?).
Then how?
I) Employ pressure to stop people from 'playing cupid.' Cease people from cracking jokes between you and that girl whom you don't fancy. Cease everything from suaning to plain humor relating to the both of you. Make people stop. Employ strong body language and don't accept their matching as a joke.
II) Steel yourself and firmly answer to these 'cupid people' that that girl whom you don't fancy isn't the kind of girl you are looking for. Not your style, neither someone you would see as a girlfriend. If people ask, just speak off your mind. If one day she were to express her liking - be tactful, but say what you ought to say. Nobody can force you to be a relationship that you don't want.
About the girl whom you like - I can only say Passive Advances. In simple go passive advances from getting to know her better to even better and so on. The decision lies within her. You can't put pressure on her for you can only allow her to make her own choice through your chase as the catalysis for that to happen. Both of you understood each other feelings - the main problem is about her. If you did what was right to trigger her liking into love - she could forgo society norms and mental barrier to be with you.
Keyword: Make her fall gradually.
Cheers -
you must be a handsome guy huh?Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:Im finally writing in Aunt Agony after some months of rosey static lifestyle. I never expect that things can jus hit a person so unexpectedly. *ha.
I'm unsure whether you would call this a love triangle. As a matter of fact, I ain't even certain of its definition. I was introduced to a bunch of girls recently. Actually, we sorta became friends during a chalet cus we were both staying side by side to one another.
We did some catching up here and there and gradually, one of them like me. So the rest of her girl friends are like trying to match up us. I respect that, it's a girl's thing. However, I myself, at the same time, fell for another one of them. This girl is like the 'leader' of the group. She's a humble and jovial person who drew many to her due to her attractive personality. Shortly later, I realised I have this admiration for her. I told her. She was pretty surprised but I also found out that she feels the same way too.
She refused to go any further with me cus she knows that her friend likes me. She comment that she rather back out so that her friend could stand a chance.
Hmm.. do girls usually behave this way? Sigh~ -
nope. i'm jus fortunate for that moment in time.
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IMHO, the girl you liked backed out is simply becoz that will break the rules of the cupid game if she becomes your gf. yeah, it will sour the friendship between her and her friend.
unless, the 'cupid-girl' had officially refused to play the game...the game ends and you stand a higher chance of being with who you want.
in matters of heart, such goodwill things will also happen even when the 2nd girl is really keen...but she will stick to her principles and bite the bullet. these kind of girls are rare...just imagine the scenario changes to...being a 3rd party to a couple...some girls will snatch other bfs away, some dont....they rather wait.
maybe u can try any chance to clarify what the cupid-girl is thinking. if she said she doesnt like you for real (she must not regret) ...ok go ahead and pursue your real love.
i think most girls now still prefered to be pursued. in my view, even i am 'paired' with a guy by all those teasings...i will wait for the guy to confirm his feelings for me. if not, he has the freedom to love someone he truly do. -
talk to the gal who likes u... if u really don like her then tell her so... no point dragging on the relationship...
standing in the other gal's situation... she must be feeling heart pain sia... noeing u like her as well... but she did wat she did... for the best of both world...unless confirm the other gal onli cupid love... u shd respect her decisions...
gd luck...