What is wrong in this scenario?
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Guy likes girl
Guy does things for girl out of love.
Guy do it often enough til
Girl expects these things to be done
Now guy does these things out of an expectation from the girl. -
Tell the guy to stop doing lor. When the girl start complaining, then the guy tell the girl dont take things for granted cause he is doing her a favour.Originally posted by Ecxentrique:Guy likes girl
Guy does things for girl out of love.
Guy do it often enough til
Girl expects these things to be done
Now guy does these things out of an expectation from the girl. -
dis is tragic.. after doing dis for the ger out of love, and the ger treat the guy machiam maid..
haiz.. better stop doing for the ger.. its not worth it.. -
tone down slowly then adjust accordingly...
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Guy does thing for girl out of love? Are you appreciated in the first place?Originally posted by Ecxentrique:Guy likes girl
Guy does things for girl out of love.
Guy do it often enough til
Girl expects these things to be done
Now guy does these things out of an expectation from the girl.
I don't believe in doing things for girls until it becomes a habit. Afterall, likely, you won't be able to get her - she is just used having you around NOT accepting your assistance because she loves it. A guy who gives in/do too much for girls are seen as weak-willed, not by me nor the other guys, but subconsciously by the girl herself. She would rather have a mate who has some degree of control of himself instead of doing things for the sake of pleasing.
Too blinded to get out of this mess? Your choice.
Cheers -
Its not that the guy has not got the girl yet,thing is they are already a cuople and the guy initially did it out of his own initiative and maybe he overdid things and now a bit burned out to sustain the frequency and intensity. I wonder if it has happen to any of the guys here before? or maybe even to girls. Like you like this sosmeone so much and then you may do simple romantic things like write a poem, send a good nite sms, write a song or love note.. So some things like these maybe one will do at the onset but sometimes it dies down and to the other person on the receiving end, it might feel like a step backwards in the relationship. Its a case of setting too high a standard to sustain..
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Like for example must call her every night?
Must buy her expensive gifts?
Must report to her everyday, where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, what time you will be home?
Must be on call 24/7?
If all of the above, my friend, you are in big trouble liao.
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Such things should be agreeable for both parties. Personally, I feel that some things especially of more important issues should be made clear between both parties. Like some tolerance to things and limitations. There're of course people who feel that many things are just of a matter of 'give and take'.Originally posted by Ecxentrique:Its not that the guy has not got the girl yet,thing is they are already a cuople and the guy initially did it out of his own initiative and maybe he overdid things and now a bit burned out to sustain the frequency and intensity. I wonder if it has happen to any of the guys here before? or maybe even to girls. Like you like this sosmeone so much and then you may do simple romantic things like write a poem, send a good nite sms, write a song or love note.. So some things like these maybe one will do at the onset but sometimes it dies down and to the other person on the receiving end, it might feel like a step backwards in the relationship. Its a case of setting too high a standard to sustain..
Then again, important issues or not can be subjective from both parties' point of view too? Commonly, there are some who would tends to regard whatever activities or needs of the other party as less important and vice versa.
Theoreotically speaking, setting standard too high in a relationship is often not a good thing especially when one is barely struggling to meet the requirement or finds it frustrating to perform. It often just brings you back to a simple question. What is the existence of the relationship about in the 1st place?
Your example is just one of an equilibrium shift. Where love is no longer in the central of a relationship. -
Originally posted by Ecxentrique:Its not that the guy has not got the girl yet,thing is they are already a cuople and the guy initially did it out of his own initiative and maybe he overdid things and now a bit burned out to sustain the frequency and intensity. I wonder if it has happen to any of the guys here before? or maybe even to girls. Like you like this sosmeone so much and then you may do simple romantic things like write a poem, send a good nite sms, write a song or love note.. So some things like these maybe one will do at the onset but sometimes it dies down and to the other person on the receiving end, it might feel like a step backwards in the relationship. Its a case of setting too high a standard to sustain.. Yes, there is a problem here and you have already identify it. The fire that burns with greater intensity, dies quicker than the one who ignite gradually.
Then again, have you ever thought that she has already failed you regardless of the things you do? She being on the receiving end, receives. You are already judged, yet she kept silent about the issue because of the 'goodies' that is coming forth. There are woman, using the art of seduction, to live a life of Goddess, where man worship them below. Like a Goddess, regardless of distance, she is always above them and they could never reach her.
Attempt a final shot and pop the question. When I said final - you know what I mean, if you do not get the result you wanted. One must recongise the line because simply, life is to short to be worshipping all the time - we have the use that time to seek for our own sweet dreams and become God/Goddess with the one who truely love and end up with.
Cheers