can anyone teach mi how to forget everything???
-
day 12 i tot i have 4gotton everything yet y does the feelins still linger inside???
surly there is a solution to 4get everything
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the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
If you can count the months since your last break-up, with both your hands and are still asking yourself the questions, “ What’s wrong with me? – Its time to reassess your life and move on. Clearly, the break-up has had a profound impact on your self-image and in certain quiet moments of the day, wretched feelings of the wounded and vulnerable kind still come creeping back.
The best thing you can do after the maelstrom of angst, rage and regret has passed is to look at the reasons why the relationship was on the path to doom in the first place. Examine the good and bad aspects and time-out to reflect on the real reasons why you hung on for so long in the first place. This the perfect time to stock up on self-knowledge. Why were you too weak to be the first to realize it was headed nowhere? What made you forgive him over and over again?
SALVAGE OR LEAVE BEHIND?
Before you attempt to move on youÂ’ll have to sort through hatÂ’s left and decide what to salvage and what to leave behind. ThereÂ’s no running away from what went wrong, and delaying the process of dealing with it will only leave you with a similar situation in future relationships. You should never attempt to rebuild your life without identifying what went wrong, what your part in it was and how youÂ’d like things to be different in future.
MOVE ON
When the relationship is over, you should be aiming for closure. This is one thing that canÂ’t come fast enough. Closure is a deeply personal experience that tells you that youÂ’ve reconciled with all things past, and is ready to talk about your experiences and welcome new possibilities into your life.
You would have moved past the tumultuous emotional state and arrived at the point where you fully comprehend who you are as a single person. DonÂ’t mix this up with getting involved with another person or abusing your freedom and physically indulging yourself.
YOUR FRIENDS
ItÂ’s important to surround yourself with people you can trust and seek comfort in. When a relationship is over, these supportive individuals will probably have seen it coming and will most likely react with relief and empathy. Some more distant friends might react with surprise and dismay, and their outpouring of sympathy might throw you off. If seeing some of them elicits negative emotions, avoid them or be direct and tell them exactly what you need at this trying time. DonÂ’t let their expectations of you or the relationship get you down even more.
HIS FRIENDS
In the wake of break-up, you might find yourself losing friends who happen to be sitting on his of the fence. This might be a rather painful experience for you, but in the long run not having individuals who remind you if the past will be a relief. It will let you to choose exactly who you wish to invest your time in and build a comfortable social circle that lets you be exactly who you want to be. Lose those individuals who donÂ’t contribute to your life in a positive way.
FULL STEAM AHEAD
A painful break-up can sometimes change the way you feel about a number of important life issues. Get a grip, you are still same person you were before, and this pivotal time might force you to reassess yourself personally. There will be some stumbling blocks along the way, but once you get past them, itÂ’ll be full steam ahead.
If youÂ’ve really processed and accepted the past, youÂ’ll find that youÂ’re raring to jump headlong into your new life with a vigor and enthusiasm you never could have imagined before.
FIVE TIPS TO TOTAL RECOVERY
1. Rant & Rave
Allow yourself the chance to wallow and indulge in regret and unhappiness for a bit. Cry your eyes out if you need to, and donÂ’t be sorry if you want to call your best friend for the umpteenth time just to reminisce and talk about the relationship. Letting out your emotions will prevent them from festering and manifesting in other areas of your life. But remember youÂ’ll have to stop and come back to reality eventually.
2. Indulge Yourself
Now that you have all this time for yourself, take on some of the things youÂ’ve been dying to try or that youÂ’ve pit on hold because he couldnÂ’t be a part of it. Take up that diving course, enrol for a language class or take the long awaited backpacking trip with your friends
3. Avoid The Rebound Trap
If thereÂ’s someone who attracts your fancy before you can even wipe that last teardrop, watch out for the classic rebound scenario. Avoid thinking of the new man in your life as a godsend cure from heaven, youÂ’d just be setting yourself up for a long fall if things donÂ’t work out. The Best thing to do is take things slow, donÂ’t throw yourself too quickly at your new object of love. Make sure youÂ’re over your ex completely before anything further develops.
4. Cut him loose
Tell yourself over and over again that itÂ’s over for good. If he keeps calling to ask for one more chance, or if he just wants to stay friends even though heÂ’s seeing other people, donÂ’t fall for it. The urge to forget all things bad and cling on to whatever you can hit even the most pragmatic of women. Steer clear, cut him loose and celebrate your newfound singlehood.
4. DonÂ’t Engage In Promiscuity
Many might find the new freedom disconcerting and unnatural, especially if youÂ’ve been attached for ages. You might find yourself running scared of commitment and intimacy, and seek comfort in pulling out all the brakes and indulging yourself with any guy that comes along.
After all the changes that youÂ’ve been through, the last thing youÂ’d want to do is dive unknown into sexual encounters. The thought of free-for-all fun might seem exciting to a hurt and wounded heart. Trust your better judgement and donÂ’t run the risk of becoming imprisoned in your failure to get over your ex. -
err how to put it to u.....
i'm not a she i'm a he
surprised dat there r guys out there dat r like dat?
------------------
the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
Really the best advice, but do you really think what you say worked, have you tried it out yourself, hmmm, you really know what's best to do after a breakup, rite?Originally posted by RuthBaby:If you can count the months since your last break-up, with both your hands and are still asking yourself the questions, “ What’s wrong with me? – Its time to reassess your life and move on. Clearly, the break-up has had a profound impact on your self-image and in certain quiet moments of the day, wretched feelings of the wounded and vulnerable kind still come creeping back.
The best thing you can do after the maelstrom of angst, rage and regret has passed is to look at the reasons why the relationship was on the path to doom in the first place. Examine the good and bad aspects and time-out to reflect on the real reasons why you hung on for so long in the first place. This the perfect time to stock up on self-knowledge. Why were you too weak to be the first to realize it was headed nowhere? What made you forgive him over and over again?
SALVAGE OR LEAVE BEHIND?
Before you attempt to move on youÂ’ll have to sort through hatÂ’s left and decide what to salvage and what to leave behind. ThereÂ’s no running away from what went wrong, and delaying the process of dealing with it will only leave you with a similar situation in future relationships. You should never attempt to rebuild your life without identifying what went wrong, what your part in it was and how youÂ’d like things to be different in future.
MOVE ON
When the relationship is over, you should be aiming for closure. This is one thing that canÂ’t come fast enough. Closure is a deeply personal experience that tells you that youÂ’ve reconciled with all things past, and is ready to talk about your experiences and welcome new possibilities into your life.
You would have moved past the tumultuous emotional state and arrived at the point where you fully comprehend who you are as a single person. DonÂ’t mix this up with getting involved with another person or abusing your freedom and physically indulging yourself.
YOUR FRIENDS
ItÂ’s important to surround yourself with people you can trust and seek comfort in. When a relationship is over, these supportive individuals will probably have seen it coming and will most likely react with relief and empathy. Some more distant friends might react with surprise and dismay, and their outpouring of sympathy might throw you off. If seeing some of them elicits negative emotions, avoid them or be direct and tell them exactly what you need at this trying time. DonÂ’t let their expectations of you or the relationship get you down even more.
HIS FRIENDS
In the wake of break-up, you might find yourself losing friends who happen to be sitting on his of the fence. This might be a rather painful experience for you, but in the long run not having individuals who remind you if the past will be a relief. It will let you to choose exactly who you wish to invest your time in and build a comfortable social circle that lets you be exactly who you want to be. Lose those individuals who donÂ’t contribute to your life in a positive way.
FULL STEAM AHEAD
A painful break-up can sometimes change the way you feel about a number of important life issues. Get a grip, you are still same person you were before, and this pivotal time might force you to reassess yourself personally. There will be some stumbling blocks along the way, but once you get past them, itÂ’ll be full steam ahead.
If youÂ’ve really processed and accepted the past, youÂ’ll find that youÂ’re raring to jump headlong into your new life with a vigor and enthusiasm you never could have imagined before.
FIVE TIPS TO TOTAL RECOVERY
1. Rant & Rave
Allow yourself the chance to wallow and indulge in regret and unhappiness for a bit. Cry your eyes out if you need to, and donÂ’t be sorry if you want to call your best friend for the umpteenth time just to reminisce and talk about the relationship. Letting out your emotions will prevent them from festering and manifesting in other areas of your life. But remember youÂ’ll have to stop and come back to reality eventually.
2. Indulge Yourself
Now that you have all this time for yourself, take on some of the things youÂ’ve been dying to try or that youÂ’ve pit on hold because he couldnÂ’t be a part of it. Take up that diving course, enrol for a language class or take the long awaited backpacking trip with your friends
3. Avoid The Rebound Trap
If thereÂ’s someone who attracts your fancy before you can even wipe that last teardrop, watch out for the classic rebound scenario. Avoid thinking of the new man in your life as a godsend cure from heaven, youÂ’d just be setting yourself up for a long fall if things donÂ’t work out. The Best thing to do is take things slow, donÂ’t throw yourself too quickly at your new object of love. Make sure youÂ’re over your ex completely before anything further develops.
4. Cut him loose
Tell yourself over and over again that itÂ’s over for good. If he keeps calling to ask for one more chance, or if he just wants to stay friends even though heÂ’s seeing other people, donÂ’t fall for it. The urge to forget all things bad and cling on to whatever you can hit even the most pragmatic of women. Steer clear, cut him loose and celebrate your newfound singlehood.
4. DonÂ’t Engage In Promiscuity
Many might find the new freedom disconcerting and unnatural, especially if youÂ’ve been attached for ages. You might find yourself running scared of commitment and intimacy, and seek comfort in pulling out all the brakes and indulging yourself with any guy that comes along.
After all the changes that youÂ’ve been through, the last thing youÂ’d want to do is dive unknown into sexual encounters. The thought of free-for-all fun might seem exciting to a hurt and wounded heart. Trust your better judgement and donÂ’t run the risk of becoming imprisoned in your failure to get over your ex.
Some advice advice, let time heal your wounds, start life anew, try to occupy your free time with work, work, work...
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
People.... How nice it is to be a Devil....? -
and it'll b nice if i can 4get watever i wan alsoOriginally posted by Devil1976: People.... How nice it is to be a Devil....?
------------------
the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
u cann't forget what u want to forget..
cause u will still remenber what you tried to forget..
just put it in the end of your memories or deep in your heart.. and learn the mistakes u make and try not to get too emotions about the past.. dont live in the past it is never good. look forward and enjoy what u can rather then keeping yourself in unhappiness...
it can be heartbreaking or it can be sweet memories.. just keep it and move on..
it seems like saying is always easiler than doing... i am a person who lives in the past too.
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Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth
Faith, Hope, Charity, Fortitude, Justice, Temperance, Prudence -
in fact.. its pretty hard to forget everything.. esp if it hurts a lot
-
yes.. its not easy to forget.
-
tried not to live in the past..Originally posted by Seventh_Signs:u cann't forget what u want to forget..
cause u will still remenber what you tried to forget..
just put it in the end of your memories or deep in your heart.. and learn the mistakes u make and try not to get too emotions about the past.. dont live in the past it is never good. look forward and enjoy what u can rather then keeping yourself in unhappiness...
it can be heartbreaking or it can be sweet memories.. just keep it and move on..
it seems like saying is always easiler than doing... i am a person who lives in the past too.
tried to keep everything aside
tried to put on a strong front
yet questions keep on appearin
y did tis happen??
y actually was the cause?
was it mi was it her?
izzit when u finally decided to give it
everything but fate makes fun of u by losin double of wat u lost?
i was at fault..yet i am willin to change but y not the other part?
was it bcoz we knew each other too early?
was it bcoz of other party dat caused all tis?
was it bcoz she was still young and dunno how to think?
only found a few answers to all the questions
kena consoled, scolded by some of my friends sayin it's not worth it or sayin i was too good sayin......guess u got the idea..
but there was no absolute answer....
------------------
the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
dats y i was hopin if u guys and gals have any solution to it but guess ruth only got solution to gers only?Originally posted by RuthBaby:in fact.. its pretty hard to forget everything.. esp if it hurts a lot
------------------
the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
Hi ZecHs, i think i'm in the same situaion as you. I know how you are feeling right now and the questions u had are the same as mine. I'm also looking for the answer, But what RuthBaby has post can also be our solution.....Now a days i just try tell myself that this may be what we all call ......FATE......
Not everyone can get to be with the one they Love most. I just pray for my ex the she will lead a better life than me........ and sometimes the thought makes me feel a lot better........
Life still have to carry on without her right? So it's better to have a good time than a sad one.......Take care bro......
[This message has been edited by [B]dA`boI (edited 28 May 2002).] -
EASY... Go knock your head AGAINST the WALL...?Originally posted by ZecHs:and it'll b nice if i can 4get watever i wan also If that doesn't work, TRY HARDER.... Go for ANOTHER SHOT against the WALL...? :p For you see... A normal person preoccupied by his/her life would have no time to think about the LOUSY PAST... And THEORETICALLY SPEAKING, one DO have a 'choice' of whether he/she wanna indulge in his/her past.... And the process of your 'wanting to forget the past' is just like knocking yourself against the wall...? The MORE you TRY, you MORE you're reminding yourself of the PAST... The PAIN... Oh BOY, DOES THAT HURT a WHAT...? WHY would a stain on your shirt bothers you so much? When you keep on cleaning it and it doesn't go off... And the MORE you TRY, the more it BOTHERS you... And when people REMIND you of THAT STAIN.... If you couldn't be bother about it, it would just bother the people around you at most..? (And since it's YOUR STAIN it shouldn't really be much of their concern UNLESS you're attending a meeting or function later which would affect an organisation's reputation...? :p)
I DO have a 'PROCESS-METHOD' which I've developed for forgetting about the PAST... It's not an easy to achieve 'practice'... But be REMINDED, for every PLUS you gain, there is a MINUS... -
Originally posted by dA`boI:
it does goes on but flashes of memories r still there...
[B]Hi ZecHs, i think i'm in the same situaion as you. I know how you are feeling right now and the questions u had are the same as mine. I'm also looking for the answer, But what RuthBaby has post can also be our solution.....Now a days i just try tell myself that this may be what we all call ......FATE......
Not everyone can get to be with the one they Love most. I just pray for my ex the she will lead a better life than me........ and sometimes the thought makes me feel a lot better........
Life still have to carry on without her right? So it's better to have a good time than a sad one.......Take care bro......
[This message has been edited by [B]dA`boI (edited 28 May 2002).]
now tryin to figure out answer one by one..
high chance i'll b tryin to seal them away alreadi
------------------
the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
EASY... Go knock your head AGAINST the WALL...?Originally posted by Devil1976:[QUOTE]Originally posted by ZecHs:
[b] and it'll b nice if i can 4get watever i wan also If that doesn't work, TRY HARDER.... Go for ANOTHER SHOT against the WALL...? :p For you see... A normal person preoccupied by his/her life would have no time to think about the LOUSY PAST... And THEORETICALLY SPEAKING, one DO have a 'choice' of whether he/she wanna indulge in his/her past.... And the process of your 'wanting to forget the past' is just like knocking yourself against the wall...? The MORE you TRY, you MORE you're reminding yourself of the PAST... The PAIN... Oh BOY, DOES THAT HURT a WHAT...? WHY would a stain on your shirt bothers you so much? When you keep on cleaning it and it doesn't go off... And the MORE you TRY, the more it BOTHERS you... And when people REMIND you of THAT STAIN.... If you couldn't be bother about it, it would just bother the people around you at most..? (And since it's YOUR STAIN it shouldn't really be much of their concern UNLESS you're attending a meeting or function later which would affect an organisation's reputation...? :p)
I DO have a 'PROCESS-METHOD' which I've developed for forgetting about the PAST... It's not an easy to achieve 'practice'... But be REMINDED, for every PLUS you gain, there is a MINUS...[/B][/QUOTE]
FIY it was not a lousy past...rather one dat was the sweetest in my life and everything happened juz too sudden i cant take it...
anyways wats ur way?
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the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
there is no way to forget.... like i say.. u can onli acept it...
due to i know u in person.. i know i got no rite to say much.. specially im so in love now.. but it just hurts to see u this way..
i just hope tat u can be strong.. and walk urself out of this dw period of urs..
no matter how much we say.. how much we scold.. if u refuse to move on.. no1 can force u..
give urself time to move on.. do it slowly if u wan.. just dun give up..
jiayou.. i wil always give u moral support~~~ -
hehe thankzOriginally posted by MoNsTer:there is no way to forget.... like i say.. u can onli acept it...
due to i know u in person.. i know i got no rite to say much.. specially im so in love now.. but it just hurts to see u this way..
i just hope tat u can be strong.. and walk urself out of this dw period of urs..
no matter how much we say.. how much we scold.. if u refuse to move on.. no1 can force u..
give urself time to move on.. do it slowly if u wan.. just dun give up..
jiayou.. i wil always give u moral support~~~
most prob by the next time u c mi i might have alreadi forgotten the events since dat day
but pls juz do mi a favor...dun ever mention her in front of mi
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the sanity & insanity dat i was given & are mine only.....
both exist together without negating each other..... -
ok! no problem!!Originally posted by ZecHs:hehe thankz
most prob by the next time u c mi i might have alreadi forgotten the events since dat day
but pls juz do mi a favor...dun ever mention her in front of mi