why is she not the same?
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we used to chat alot on SMS and phone?
what happen?
we are not doing it anymore ... lesser SMS lesser calls lesser topic to chat about. -
Maybe she's been busy...
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Honeymoon period nearly over.
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then how ..
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What is ur current relationship with her? Do you wish to be someone who is close to her or do you want to keep a certain distance? What are the goals that you want to achieve with the things that the two of you do that you mentioned above? Ask yourself these questions 1st.
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its onli normal... and not to scare you... and its onli after the honeymoon period tat problems would start to occur...
but not to worry... just a little give and take from both parties will do the job fine...
best wishes! -
Originally posted by antoh:we used to chat alot on SMS and phone?
what happen?
we are not doing it anymore ... lesser SMS lesser calls lesser topic to chat about.
For a fact, honeymoon period is nearly over - your true-personality relationship starts from here.
Factors that affect this fate:
I) Frequency of meetings - more meetings generally lesser chit chatting on phones.
II) Mutual life - generally, if nothing is done together as a couple, topics will be quite restrictive to that of yours/hers events and one could probably resort more towards listening than fuelling the conversation.
III) Length of relationship - as time goes by and the most interesting part of you and her is already know, conversation will be shorter. (Then again, there are people who have been together for years and their conversation are excellent)
Cheers -
This point is more relevant to you and generally is much of a killer for LDR....Originally posted by Yunhaier:II) Mutual life - generally, if nothing is done together as a couple, topics will be quite restrictive to that of yours/hers events and one could probably resort more towards listening than fuelling the conversation. -
any solutions?Originally posted by Yunhaier: For a fact, honeymoon period is nearly over - your true-personality relationship starts from here.
Factors that affect this fate:
I) Frequency of meetings - more meetings generally lesser chit chatting on phones.
II) Mutual life - generally, if nothing is done together as a couple, topics will be quite restrictive to that of yours/hers events and one could probably resort more towards listening than fuelling the conversation.
III) Length of relationship - as time goes by and the most interesting part of you and her is already know, conversation will be shorter. (Then again, there are people who have been together for years and their conversation are excellent)
Cheers -
Let nature take its course. End of honeymoon period ain't the end of everything. Its actually a development or maturity of further thing to come. Cheer up and be yourself. Dun lie, lying makes things worse.Originally posted by antoh:any solutions? -
is very uncomfortable ... imagine the happy days she sms you and you expect her sms to come .. now no more .. no more sweet talks .. and blah blah
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Get on with life. I experience the same situation as U 5 months back till enough is enough and I decided to call it a day.
Do u want to wait for a gal who cannot give U an answer? Find someone better and I am sure there is one for U. For me, I am currently looking for a better one.
Let's Time heals all the hurt, wounds etc -
no way ... i m not getting better ones ... i dont like to replace ..Originally posted by bus:Get on with life. I experience the same situation as U 5 months back till enough is enough and I decided to call it a day.
Do u want to wait for a gal who cannot give U an answer? Find someone better and I am sure there is one for U. For me, I am currently looking for a better one.
Let's Time heals all the hurt, wounds etc -
To antoh:
Are U still schooling? If YES, please concentrate on your school work
If U are working for several years, then U must understand that all these relationship things are impermanent as it comes and goes...
If U still insist on associating with the gal U admire...U can carry on SMS/Call her and see how the situation goes........If by the end of the day, U still get negative response from her.....move on man....she is not the right one for U.
If not, maybe Yunhaier can advise U further on this issue. Thanks -
wat a negatvie answer
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nothing in this world is perfect, how could u expect the honeymood period to last 4ever? how wld u ever grow up if this juz maintain the way it is?
in the 1st place, u n her start the r/s so sudden, n like wat i say, she seems rather too young to really know wat she wants n tt is besides the fact tt both of u r physically far apart...
time to face the fact...if u 1 a r/s to grow, u must get use to the down sides of it too...communication is the tool
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I was caught in a similar situation where the 2 of us keep SMS to each other almost everyday...chat over the phone etc.
As Time goes by, I discovered a lot of things about her which are beyond my expectation(I am looking for a GF by the way) and she don't seem to fit in my bill in the long run although I still like her but sometime, U just need to learn to let things go.
I admit I miss her SMS when the so call "Honeymoon period" is over but i just have to move on and try not to think so much as it will become a burden to U psychologically if U keep dwelling on this issue.
channel your energy to some other things and as time goes by, U will feel better and who know U might meet up someone more worthy of U?
Good luck. -
Then wat is the expectation of a gf to u leh? share share lehOriginally posted by bus:I was caught in a similar situation where the 2 of us keep SMS to each other almost everyday...chat over the phone etc.
As Time goes by, I discovered a lot of things about her which are beyond my expectation(I am looking for a GF by the way) and she don't seem to fit in my bill in the long run although I still like her but sometime, U just need to learn to let things go.
I admit I miss her SMS when the so call "Honeymoon period" is over but i just have to move on and try not to think so much as it will become a burden to U psychologically if U keep dwelling on this issue.
channel your energy to some other things and as time goes by, U will feel better and who know U might meet up someone more worthy of U?
Good luck. -
Originally posted by antoh:any solutions? One way to increase topics in conversation is to do things together - like what I had mentioned above. Take part in courses, interest group, arts, music or even foreign language if both has the same interest. This will boost greater communication in long term.
Second - keep making mutual friends. The more mutual friends you both have, the more things you could talk as well.
But seriously speaking, in your case, its not so much about the conversation part - its about your desire of wanting those sweet-lovey message and stuff to return or at least maintain at the usual level you used to have it:
If it is not within his/her personality to do that - generally, such 'boons' would be short-lived and would reduce in frequency over time. What I meant is that unless is she what I termed it as 'Disciplined Lifestyle.' (Someone who is consistant in his attitude and behavior towards his relationship by demonstrating a set of 'actions' he/she will do regularly. E.g. SMS, phone everyday, etc) - if not, unless you truly mind this aspect, a little communication would whip up miracles when done correctly and strategically.
Talk to her about your feelings and thoughts. Share them. Again, this is another form of conversation that would build your relationship and foster better bonds as well.
P.S: Don't always compare past and present - this is one mistake everyone does. Time change, world change, love change. We have to look at every factor around our relationship before we proclaim that a problem is going on. Everything ain't stagnant - it's constantly moving, either go up or go down.
Cheers -
This is quite important...Originally posted by Yunhaier:Talk to her about your feelings and thoughts. Share them. Again, this is another form of conversation that would build your relationship and foster better bonds as well.