[b]My Boyfriend is in prison[/b]
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My boyfriend was recently sentenced to more than a year in prison for stuff he did some time back (fighting and such). I've been so depressed since then. I cry everytime i look at pictures we took together. I've never missed anyone so much in my life. The worst part...he didn't know how to tell me that he wld be going in soon...but i found out soon after. and my parents, who have always been against him because of his bad past wld probably totally ban me from having anything to do with him if they found out. I feel so alone and i can't bear to let him go but i know my parents might not accept him in the future. sometimes i think that perhaps suicide is the only way to end this pain.[/b]
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stay cool...
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Originally posted by Ice_princess83:
suicide is NOT the only way to end this. it is SELFISH. u end ur pain, but worsen the pain of ur bf.
My boyfriend was recently sentenced to more than a year in prison for stuff he did some time back (fighting and such). I've been so depressed since then. I cry everytime i look at pictures we took together. I've never missed anyone so much in my life. The worst part...he didn't know how to tell me that he wld be going in soon...but i found out soon after. and my parents, who have always been against him because of his bad past wld probably totally ban me from having anything to do with him if they found out. I feel so alone and i can't bear to let him go but i know my parents might not accept him in the future. sometimes i think that perhaps suicide is the only way to end this pain.[/b]
he needs ur support now. and u do so by picking urself up and showing tt u stil haf the faith in him, and wil wait for him, and u wil live ur life well and he need not worry while hes inside. showing u r depressed and all over the place wont help him.
as for ur parents, its up to the 2 of u to convince them... jia jia you ben nan nian de jing. i guess truth takes time, and perhaps ur love wil win them over one dae. -
X 2Originally posted by wuming78:suicide is NOT the only way to end this. it is SELFISH. u end ur pain, but worsen the pain of ur bf.
he needs ur support now. and u do so by picking urself up and showing tt u stil haf the faith in him, and wil wait for him, and u wil live ur life well and he need not worry while hes inside. showing u r depressed and all over the place wont help him.
as for ur parents, its up to the 2 of u to convince them... jia jia you ben nan nian de jing. i guess truth takes time, and perhaps ur love wil win them over one dae. -
suicide is NOT going to solve anything...
don't be dumb.. like your bf was.. someone has to think for the both of you!
if you both are really in love, he has only one thing to do.. after prison, he has to PROVE HIS WORTH.. to make it.. to do well despite the prison record.. to show your folks that he CAN look after you and will stay away from trouble from then on...
it is difficult.. YOUR CALL...
suicide is NOT... i repeat, NOT the answer... -
wat ur bf need most is YOU.
Ur support to get him through the times he is behind the bars.
Ur assurance tt ur going to be there when he needs u.
I believe ur guy feels more terrible then ur now.
Therefore, the last thing u shld do is to leave him all alone. Ending ur life doesnt help him, instead it kills his will to be strong.
Even worst he might blame himself for anything tt happens to u.
Time will prove everything. Be determine in life k.
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If you really love your bf then the more you should not think of dying.
You have to stay very much alive and give him support while he is serving his terms. -
that proves there are people who use emotion rather than brain. Having ah beng as your bf or husband in your life, you should be prepared that this things would happen soon or later..
You might ask yourself why your parents dont allow you to continue your relationship with ah beng because you will lead a miserable life soon or later..just like now. -
hey dun kill yourself.
think about it, what if u did, and he blamed himself for it?
and also.... if u killed yourself u would NEVER be able to see him at all. neither would he see u ever again.
Do u think that is good? Do u want to leave him, who is already suffering in jail, the anguish of thinking he caused your death? Forever? -
live on my friend.
its all fated.....our path are all being preplanned by god b4 we r being born to this world. u might meet someone better....which u do not know now.
try learning to live the fullest of ur life....love urself is to love ppl u know. -
you are 21 years old this year to know that this aint end of the world.
perhaps ur parents are right.
if u are ending your life because of this, u aint mature enough for a relationship yet, not to mention any particular guy. -
Originally posted by Ice_princess83:
First thing: It's only a farking year plus and come and think of it its isn't that long
My boyfriend was recently sentenced to more than a year in prison for stuff he did some time back (fighting and such). I've been so depressed since then. I cry everytime i look at pictures we took together. I've never missed anyone so much in my life. The worst part...he didn't know how to tell me that he wld be going in soon...but i found out soon after. and my parents, who have always been against him because of his bad past wld probably totally ban me from having anything to do with him if they found out. I feel so alone and i can't bear to let him go but i know my parents might not accept him in the future. sometimes i think that perhaps suicide is the only way to end this pain.[/b]
*Breathes in*
Suicide? If I was your parents I will ban you, not because he went jail but because of your inmaturity to handle your own relationship and I would have thought that this influence comes from him.
Please lar, love CANNOT perform miracle for you - you can only make use your deep feelings for him to create miracle with your bare hands using your intellect. And now I will teach you how to create this possible miracle.
***
You are sad because he is locked behind bars and couldn't accompany, talk or even SMS you anymore. However, the positive side is that this is a couple's karmic lesson for you both to undergo and if you humble yourself, acknowledge this test and face the challenges, you won half the battle. Please note that this test will bring your relationship into new heights because after this phrase of his life - there will be changes and this changes will mould and evolve the both of you.
Handle inner cycle first (Internal environment): When you could see him in jail and if it is possible to pass him letter or note, do write up something and give him. Of course, in the midst of all these emotional words that you will sure to write - your content throughout this year plus has to be one constant message - CHANGE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. If his temper is bad, he has to change. People tries to pick a fight? Learn to smile and walk off. People stare? Look on the floor. He has to learn emotional control. Worst still - if his friends were a bunch of people always implicated into fights - avoid hanging out with them.
With constant psychological reinforcement of encouragement, new drive of goals and psychological/emotional rebirth - this relationship will grow and foster from this test. In jail, he has tons of time to spend on thinking and pondering - he will read and re-read your letters. Your strong, firm faith in overcoming odds and to change him will succeed if he truely loves you and his focus becomes long term (this relationship) and not short term (by his temper).
He has to change because you want your parents to know that you didn't make a wrong choice.
What about you? You shall learn the beauty of devotion and encouragement to your love. If this year shall be a year of many suitors, so where does your love lies? In this bleak hours of his life, where will your strength in him lies?
P.S: If you shield the canyon from the wind, you will never see the beauty of their craving. Relationship test - do you have the strength to leap to the next level? Or do you cry and succumb?
Cheers -
PERSONALLY... I think she is rather COOL?Originally posted by NeonTetra:stay cool...
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harsh, but very you dao li...Originally posted by www:you are 21 years old this year to know that this aint end of the world.
perhaps ur parents are right.
if u are ending your life because of this, u aint mature enough for a relationship yet, not to mention any particular guy. -
Hey guys...thanks so much for your response. Ure right.... i can't believe suicide even crossed my mind. I have always been one to overcome difficulty with a positive and determined outlook... but this situation was entirely different. I couldn't accept it and i felt the pain was too much. I guess that's what love does to you... throws you off the track and makes u wanna think and do weird things. But i feel much stronger now. like one of you said...whats a year? if i can't wait that long and be patient and supportive..i don't deserve to be in the relationship. Its not gonna be easy but i guess... this is the best way to test the strength our relationship and i'll try to see it as a challenge.
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gd luck ah...Originally posted by Ice_princess83:Hey guys...thanks so much for your response. Ure right.... i can't believe suicide even crossed my mind. I have always been one to overcome difficulty with a positive and determined outlook... but this situation was entirely different. I couldn't accept it and i felt the pain was too much. I guess that's what love does to you... throws you off the track and makes u wanna think and do weird things. But i feel much stronger now. like one of you said...whats a year? if i can't wait that long and be patient and supportive..i don't deserve to be in the relationship. Its not gonna be easy but i guess... this is the best way to test the strength our relationship and i'll try to see it as a challenge. 
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you can always visit him during the visiting hours.
Just treat it like in the movie Con-Air -
you can always visit him during the visiting hours.
Just treat it like in the movie Con-Air -
relax.. 1 yr.. time will fly..
juz visit him during visiting hrs and wait for him to come out lor.. -
and you have US!! hahahaha... we'll stick by u if u need help! rem.. bu yao luan zuo sa shi...
always rem all the anonymous weirdos hiding behind their comp screens... -
well done!Originally posted by Ice_princess83:Hey guys...thanks so much for your response. Ure right.... i can't believe suicide even crossed my mind. I have always been one to overcome difficulty with a positive and determined outlook... but this situation was entirely different. I couldn't accept it and i felt the pain was too much. I guess that's what love does to you... throws you off the track and makes u wanna think and do weird things. But i feel much stronger now. like one of you said...whats a year? if i can't wait that long and be patient and supportive..i don't deserve to be in the relationship. Its not gonna be easy but i guess... this is the best way to test the strength our relationship and i'll try to see it as a challenge.
glad u came 'round to your senses.
anytime it gets too hard to bear again, well, we're here... -
Originally posted by Ice_princess83:
oh oh oh!! cool down girl...don't ever do anything foolish,im sure your bf also would not want to see you like this,can imagine if any things happen to u and he is inside,the feeling is worse than hell but still cannot do anything,well...maybe now your parents cannot accept him now doesn't mean that itz forever,maybe one day the strong relationship the two of u having will melt them...stay cool and wait for him if u really love him alot,but the same time make sure that u can be able to stay wit him for life,orelse don't waste your youth and time...
My boyfriend was recently sentenced to more than a year in prison for stuff he did some time back (fighting and such). I've been so depressed since then. I cry everytime i look at pictures we took together. I've never missed anyone so much in my life. The worst part...he didn't know how to tell me that he wld be going in soon...but i found out soon after. and my parents, who have always been against him because of his bad past wld probably totally ban me from having anything to do with him if they found out. I feel so alone and i can't bear to let him go but i know my parents might not accept him in the future. sometimes i think that perhaps suicide is the only way to end this pain.[/b] -
no matter i'm glad to hear tt u have come back to yr sense
tt good ... not worth to end yr life like tt u may end all yr troubles
but ppl who loves u and cares abt u will suffers...
take the challenge
prove to everyone tt u can do it
prove em wrong as time passed
when u think back
u will feel tt yr 1st intention of committin sucide is foolish and childish
there's always ups n downs in life
when u fell down there's always pain and scars
just be brave put yr legs together and stand up to take another challenge....