how do u difference a fling or a relationship? Help!

• lushpies

  5 Feb 04, 19:24

  i suddenly got kinda close..physically with a friend from my group.
  we hug..kiss and all.
  but how do i question him about our status without frightening him away.
  i dun want to make things so awkward becos we are from the same group you see.
  
• bjork

  5 Feb 04, 19:28

  eh happen to me too.. i never say/ask anything i treat him like my 'bf' lor.. we do the things couple did, but non of us intro either of us as 'this in my bf/gf'
  
• www

  5 Feb 04, 20:43

  firstly, question what you want.
  
  if you want a fling, carry on coz there is nothing to lose.
  
  if u want a relationship then ask him what he thinks.
  
  regardless of his answer, why afraid of scaring him away if he is only interested in a short-term relationship?
  
  simple?
• lushpies

  5 Feb 04, 21:46

  Originally posted by bjork:

  eh happen to me too.. i never say/ask anything i treat him like my 'bf' lor.. we do the things couple did, but non of us intro either of us as 'this in my bf/gf'
  

  hahaa so are you guys still 'together'
  im just afraid things will become very awkward in future...
  
  www.... im afraid of losing another friend u see... i got one bad experience.. and one is enough
• bjork

  5 Feb 04, 21:50

  Originally posted by lushpies:

  hahaa so are you guys still 'together'
  im just afraid things will become very awkward in future...
  
  www.... im afraid of losing another friend u see... i got one bad experience.. and one is enough

  sort of but we're starting to dift apart.. cos we knew we didnt wanna hurt each other. So we now more into a healthy friendship.
• www

  5 Feb 04, 21:51

  Originally posted by lushpies:

  hahaa so are you guys still 'together'
  im just afraid things will become very awkward in future...
  
  www.... im afraid of losing another friend u see... i got one bad experience.. and one is enough

  dont really have much information from your first post but at the rate the thing is going for you (which u also find it particularly confusing) losing him is a matter of time if you cant straighten things out.
  
  at the very least, know where you stand.
• Devil1976

  5 Feb 04, 22:48

  
• Yunhaier

  6 Feb 04, 00:27

  Originally posted by lushpies:

  i suddenly got kinda close..physically with a friend from my group.
  we hug..kiss and all.
  but how do i question him about our status without frightening him away.
  i dun want to make things so awkward becos we are from the same group you see.
  

  Two possibilities:
  
  I) Fling - no committment and don't expect any. We act like couple, but doesn't mean we are.
  
  II) Silent BGR - kinda childish in my context, but there are people who resort to this because they couldn't say it from their mouth. So they do what it seemed best - actions speaks louder than words.
  
  Before you ask him, look upon yourself. If you fall under (I), there isn't a need to ask because its all in the spirt of fun and free-will. You could ask as well and could be less tact on your words, etc. In simple, you could chose not to bother too much about your communication part. No promise made. No contract written. Nothing stated. No words mentioned - So nothing happened.
  
  But if it is (II), you may like to resort similiar ways to accommodate to his style - for example, when you go out with him, SMS a message in your phone and show to him directly - asking him what is your relationship with him like. Proceed from there.
  
  P.S: In the first place, if you don't want to make things awkward, weird or different from before - you shouldn't get involve with someone that is in your class/group/etc because whether you desire or not, you probably have to see him for a continuous period of time. This could be a blessing, or a curse.
  
  Cheers
• the_don

  6 Feb 04, 07:00

  agree with yun
• WrX_STi

  6 Feb 04, 10:43

  maintain as ur current lor.. do things slowly and myba u both shld work it out..
  
  some1 haf to break the ice.. either u or him..
• BrUtUs

  6 Feb 04, 11:01

  pop him the question if u wan go serious wif him..
• Turf

  6 Feb 04, 11:30

  no harm askin coz overall if it can't work out then cotinue to be frienz...
• lushpies

  6 Feb 04, 12:08

  thanks everyone..i thought of asking him. but im afraid that he will say he love me before he dun want to upset me and not really mean it....
• Devil1976

  6 Feb 04, 13:03

  Originally posted by lushpies:

  thanks everyone..i thought of asking him. but im afraid that he will say he love me before he dun want to upset me and not really mean it....

  TYpo? Bcos?
• Farmer Brown

  6 Feb 04, 18:54

  the real question is WHAT DO YOU WANT. do you want a fling? or a r'ship?
• Devil1976

  6 Feb 04, 18:56

  Originally posted by Farmer Brown:

  the real question is WHAT DO YOU WANT. do you want a fling? or a r'ship?

  10 million dollars....
• Farmer Brown

  6 Feb 04, 22:05

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  10 million dollars....

  .....