3 mths yet time flies.. so slowly?
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hmm wanna share my "story" with everyone here.. here it goes..
my bf and i.. were together for 3mths + le.. things were going well for the 1 1/2 mths.. not really honey moon.. but were sweet real sweet.. but as times past, he changed..
he meet his frens almost every nite.. as both of us are working.. the only chance to communicate is nite... but he spends most of his time outside.. and when he's with frens.. i call him.. he will always say "i'll call u later".. and i will wait n wait.. but then wont call.. till i sms him that i go sleep el... he will call me.. thou i am so tired.. i still chatted with him cos i think sacrifying abit doesnt matters..
as times goes.. i felt really uneasy and i think i shd talk to him about it.. one evening after work i headed to his home.. i told him we need to talk.. we sat down and i told him.. with a v v calm tone my feelings.. the moment he heard it his face turn black.. he became angry. he didnt wan to tok.. i told him.. the reason i say all these is that i think he shd knows how i feel.. and mayb put himself in my shoes.. and he got all angry. he didnt wan to talk at all.. he even told me at nite thru net that he actually wanted to throw me out of his home..
he told me he wans a cool off.. and if i trust him.. i will wait for his call.. my heart broke but i sitll waited.. to my surprise he called the next day.. i tot things will be fine.. yet he bcame colder..
i felt really heart broken and cried like shit.. cos i am lost i dunno what to do.. frens asked me to end the r/s to end the pain.. cos he really don make me feel like he's my bf anymore.. he don tell me whats going and everything jus leave for me to guess.. its terrible.. and he happy he treat me nice n sweet.. when he isnt he heck cares bout me and can don contact me at all.. sometimes i dunno what he wants..
recently.. i got really numb.. i turned cold.. i didnt call nor sms him.. den he will start sms me asking me where did i go how come i nv call him.. it make me tink.. did he take me for granted when i used smsed him and called him everyday in the past weeeks?
sigh... hao tong ku.. v day is coming... and i cant feel any excitement in spending the nite with him.. hope things goes well..
as my topic has said.. thou its 3 mths already.. time flies so slowly.. bcos too many things happened.. i think i will go crazy..
okae.. enuff of my stupid story.. jus wanna hear some comments from you ppl.. thanx.. -
wad i told u in msn i alreadi told u liaoz.. u see wad others will gif u opinion esp yunhaier..
the comments bery gd.. or see other pple see wad dey tell u. -
Hmm.... Hard to say?
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Young relationship are susceptible to all form of problems (not saying young as in your chronological age, but as in the introductary stage of your relationship), but the hardest form of problems to deal is internal crisis - in simple, referring to problems spawn from personality/character conflicts.Originally posted by xIaOzHu^:hmm wanna share my "story" with everyone here.. here it goes..
my bf and i.. were together for 3mths + le.. things were going well for the 1 1/2 mths.. not really honey moon.. but were sweet real sweet.. but as times past, he changed..
he meet his frens almost every nite.. as both of us are working.. the only chance to communicate is nite... but he spends most of his time outside.. and when he's with frens.. i call him.. he will always say "i'll call u later".. and i will wait n wait.. but then wont call.. till i sms him that i go sleep el... he will call me.. thou i am so tired.. i still chatted with him cos i think sacrifying abit doesnt matters..
as times goes.. i felt really uneasy and i think i shd talk to him about it.. one evening after work i headed to his home.. i told him we need to talk.. we sat down and i told him.. with a v v calm tone my feelings.. the moment he heard it his face turn black.. he became angry. he didnt wan to tok.. i told him.. the reason i say all these is that i think he shd knows how i feel.. and mayb put himself in my shoes.. and he got all angry. he didnt wan to talk at all.. he even told me at nite thru net that he actually wanted to throw me out of his home..
he told me he wans a cool off.. and if i trust him.. i will wait for his call.. my heart broke but i sitll waited.. to my surprise he called the next day.. i tot things will be fine.. yet he bcame colder..
i felt really heart broken and cried like shit.. cos i am lost i dunno what to do.. frens asked me to end the r/s to end the pain.. cos he really don make me feel like he's my bf anymore.. he don tell me whats going and everything jus leave for me to guess.. its terrible.. and he happy he treat me nice n sweet.. when he isnt he heck cares bout me and can don contact me at all.. sometimes i dunno what he wants..
recently.. i got really numb.. i turned cold.. i didnt call nor sms him.. den he will start sms me asking me where did i go how come i nv call him.. it make me tink.. did he take me for granted when i used smsed him and called him everyday in the past weeeks?
sigh... hao tong ku.. v day is coming... and i cant feel any excitement in spending the nite with him.. hope things goes well..
as my topic has said.. thou its 3 mths already.. time flies so slowly.. bcos too many things happened.. i think i will go crazy..
okae.. enuff of my stupid story.. jus wanna hear some comments from you ppl.. thanx..
Honeymoon period? CloUdiSm remix III states that the next phrase after honeymoon period is called Growth. Usually, I term it as True Reflection because this is the part where the relationship will still continue to blossom from ample efforts of both side, but the actual love-attitude-cum-self-personality screen will surface. People with little experience in relationship or could be cardinal in love behavior experiences a lack of energy compared to the early beginning.
Like fire, the bigger than flame in the beginning, the faster it will be subdued.
When we were friends, we knew each other superficially. Even if we were close friends and knew about each other's personal problem, it's never the same compared to both together in a relationship. A good example would be: How on earth would you know, through friendship, that he said he would call, but wouldn't do it in relationship? Such behavioral reaction cannot be detected.
He doesn't want to talk because he felt that he has...
I) Either done nothing wrong and he sensed that you may be making a mountain out of a mole-hole.
II) Felt restricted from his usual freedom from the 'captive' net you are assigning him to.
Please realise this by now: Cold War beyond one day damaged and leaves invisible wounds into your relationship. His refusal to communicate, followed by your refusal to talk will going destroy this relationship with both of your bare hands. In fact, this will become a habit and in love cosmic cycle - the dynamic of this relationship will adopt this habit and get used. Without communication, this relationship is likely to be 'killed' without you knowing.
I said this to someone else in this forum before: Lead your relationship right or give them up. Date him out and have a soul talk. Induce him to speak first before you do since he hasn't been doing much talking. Unless he truely keep mum about his feelings and thought, start the ball rolling and say your piece. Don't trash - just reveal the happenings, your preception, your feelings and thoughts about this 3 months. Valentine Day is not just about being happy as a couple - in fact, you could use this day to reduce the barrier and tension between the both of you. Clear misunderstanding and learn empathy.
P.S: When you are in a relationship, lifestyle will change. Young relationship have to adapt to this new changes without expecting to lead the exact same life they have. Their love has to be top of the agenda.
Cheers -
thanx yunhaier for ur reply.. really thanx.
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Originally posted by xIaOzHu^:thanx yunhaier for ur reply.. really thanx. You can always count on Yun?
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Hmm... ur story reminds of me n my ex... after the honeymoon period i like ur bf ji tao become cold towards her... i also dun know y... maybe both of our true colours came out... sometimes very easily be agitated... not long after we broke up... now i know i really hurt her alot tt time...Originally posted by xIaOzHu^:hmm wanna share my "story" with everyone here.. here it goes..
my bf and i.. were together for 3mths + le.. things were going well for the 1 1/2 mths.. not really honey moon.. but were sweet real sweet.. but as times past, he changed..
he meet his frens almost every nite.. as both of us are working.. the only chance to communicate is nite... but he spends most of his time outside.. and when he's with frens.. i call him.. he will always say "i'll call u later".. and i will wait n wait.. but then wont call.. till i sms him that i go sleep el... he will call me.. thou i am so tired.. i still chatted with him cos i think sacrifying abit doesnt matters..
as times goes.. i felt really uneasy and i think i shd talk to him about it.. one evening after work i headed to his home.. i told him we need to talk.. we sat down and i told him.. with a v v calm tone my feelings.. the moment he heard it his face turn black.. he became angry. he didnt wan to tok.. i told him.. the reason i say all these is that i think he shd knows how i feel.. and mayb put himself in my shoes.. and he got all angry. he didnt wan to talk at all.. he even told me at nite thru net that he actually wanted to throw me out of his home..
he told me he wans a cool off.. and if i trust him.. i will wait for his call.. my heart broke but i sitll waited.. to my surprise he called the next day.. i tot things will be fine.. yet he bcame colder..
i felt really heart broken and cried like shit.. cos i am lost i dunno what to do.. frens asked me to end the r/s to end the pain.. cos he really don make me feel like he's my bf anymore.. he don tell me whats going and everything jus leave for me to guess.. its terrible.. and he happy he treat me nice n sweet.. when he isnt he heck cares bout me and can don contact me at all.. sometimes i dunno what he wants..
recently.. i got really numb.. i turned cold.. i didnt call nor sms him.. den he will start sms me asking me where did i go how come i nv call him.. it make me tink.. did he take me for granted when i used smsed him and called him everyday in the past weeeks?
sigh... hao tong ku.. v day is coming... and i cant feel any excitement in spending the nite with him.. hope things goes well..
as my topic has said.. thou its 3 mths already.. time flies so slowly.. bcos too many things happened.. i think i will go crazy..
okae.. enuff of my stupid story.. jus wanna hear some comments from you ppl.. thanx.. -
ya its really hurting..Originally posted by KrU:Hmm... ur story reminds of me n my ex... after the honeymoon period i like ur bf ji tao become cold towards her... i also dun know y... maybe both of our true colours came out... sometimes very easily be agitated... not long after we broke up... now i know i really hurt her alot tt time... -
cheer up..
look on the bright side of life.. 
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Hi Xiaozhu,
RP seldom advises others to give up on the r'ship. But here, it's necessary to take steps in order to protect urself. Pls understand tt I'm Not advising u to give up hope, juz to ensure tt u dun keep crying, okie?
There're some guys who "run outta steam" after awhile. They enjoy the chase, & after tt, they simply lose interest. In this case, i might be cosh u're always there, u're always SMS'g/calling him, & he feels smothered.
There're some guys who simply take their partners for granted too... They're Not willing to make an effort, & when confronted wif their partners' unhappiness, they get defensive. They're too selfish to think for 2, & they only think of themselves.
Tok to him again, & if he's still nasty, make tt decision to live ur own life. Why shd u put ur life on hold for someone who wun even think of ur feelings? Does he care tt he's called u @ an inappropriate time & tt u're gonna sleep? Not likely, from wat u'd described.
Ultimately, we deserve to be loved & cherished. And we deserve the basic respect as women & as partners. If he can't respect u, & treats u like dirt, mebbi u shd think over whether u wanna spend the rest of ur life in this state.
RPOriginally posted by xIaOzHu^:hmm wanna share my "story" with everyone here.. here it goes..
my bf and i.. were together for 3mths + le.. things were going well for the 1 1/2 mths.. not really honey moon.. but were sweet real sweet.. but as times past, he changed..
he meet his frens almost every nite.. as both of us are working.. the only chance to communicate is nite... but he spends most of his time outside.. and when he's with frens.. i call him.. he will always say "i'll call u later".. and i will wait n wait.. but then wont call.. till i sms him that i go sleep el... he will call me.. thou i am so tired.. i still chatted with him cos i think sacrifying abit doesnt matters..
as times goes.. i felt really uneasy and i think i shd talk to him about it.. one evening after work i headed to his home.. i told him we need to talk.. we sat down and i told him.. with a v v calm tone my feelings.. the moment he heard it his face turn black.. he became angry. he didnt wan to tok.. i told him.. the reason i say all these is that i think he shd knows how i feel.. and mayb put himself in my shoes.. and he got all angry. he didnt wan to talk at all.. he even told me at nite thru net that he actually wanted to throw me out of his home..
he told me he wans a cool off.. and if i trust him.. i will wait for his call.. my heart broke but i sitll waited.. to my surprise he called the next day.. i tot things will be fine.. yet he bcame colder..
i felt really heart broken and cried like shit.. cos i am lost i dunno what to do.. frens asked me to end the r/s to end the pain.. cos he really don make me feel like he's my bf anymore.. he don tell me whats going and everything jus leave for me to guess.. its terrible.. and he happy he treat me nice n sweet.. when he isnt he heck cares bout me and can don contact me at all.. sometimes i dunno what he wants..
recently.. i got really numb.. i turned cold.. i didnt call nor sms him.. den he will start sms me asking me where did i go how come i nv call him.. it make me tink.. did he take me for granted when i used smsed him and called him everyday in the past weeeks?
sigh... hao tong ku.. v day is coming... and i cant feel any excitement in spending the nite with him.. hope things goes well..
as my topic has said.. thou its 3 mths already.. time flies so slowly.. bcos too many things happened.. i think i will go crazy..
okae.. enuff of my stupid story.. jus wanna hear some comments from you ppl.. thanx.. -
Ah, that's a mistake - cause lazy devil not posting his stuff.Originally posted by Devil1976: You can always count on Yun?
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devil can reply damn long..
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good adviceOriginally posted by Devil1976:Hmm.... Hard to say? 
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:Ah, that's a mistake - cause lazy devil not posting his stuff.
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thanx sweet... really thanx.. *hugZ* thanx for the advise..Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Hi Xiaozhu,
RP seldom advises others to give up on the r'ship. But here, it's necessary to take steps in order to protect urself. Pls understand tt I'm Not advising u to give up hope, juz to ensure tt u dun keep crying, okie?
There're some guys who "run outta steam" after awhile. They enjoy the chase, & after tt, they simply lose interest. In this case, i might be cosh u're always there, u're always SMS'g/calling him, & he feels smothered.
There're some guys who simply take their partners for granted too... They're Not willing to make an effort, & when confronted wif their partners' unhappiness, they get defensive. They're too selfish to think for 2, & they only think of themselves.
Tok to him again, & if he's still nasty, make tt decision to live ur own life. Why shd u put ur life on hold for someone who wun even think of ur feelings? Does he care tt he's called u @ an inappropriate time & tt u're gonna sleep? Not likely, from wat u'd described.
Ultimately, we deserve to be loved & cherished. And we deserve the basic respect as women & as partners. If he can't respect u, & treats u like dirt, mebbi u shd think over whether u wanna spend the rest of ur life in this state.
RP
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U're most welcome : ) It was my pleasure to help : )
RPOriginally posted by xIaOzHu^:thanx sweet... really thanx.. *hugZ* thanx for the advise..