attached but attracted by someone else
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its okay to be physically attracted, or in other ways.
But if ur attraction is fatal aka having other thoughs such has wanting to two-time, then its bad. Sometimes, being with the same guy/gal for too long we tend to hope to 'hop' to something new.
Trust me, in the end ur heart will guide u to the one u really love & want to be with. -
but how can it guide me when in such a confused situation?
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Originally posted by Itachi:but how can it guide me when in such a confused situation?
You must be very young.
P.S: Are you a Libra, Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
Cheers -
pisces
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BAD move. It's not uncommon that such thoughts might pop up in some of us even in love from time to time (Depending on individuals, their relationship and what they're exposed to?). However, that does not mean that your gf would very well appreciate your FRANKNESS to her... (And very often not many would) Imagine your gf telling you one day that she's interested in another guy but just that she have not taken any action yet and still thinking about it. What would your reaction be?Originally posted by Itachi:i told my stead abt it.. cos i dunch wanna keep her in the dark..
i hurt her =( i oso v sim tia =(
i told her to gimme time to slowly dunch lyk the other girl..
i wish i can make it.. haiz...........
Piece of information is piece of information. When you told her that its probably out of guilt and / or honesty, but she probably won't be seeing things the same way?
Whatever it is, you've just caused a minor(?) crack through your relationship.... Just that what's done cannot be undone. Just make the best use of whatever you've got left.
My personal advice for now is since you've already made such an HONEST approach. It's only idea that you remain this HONEST and make your relationship as transparent as possible. (which is definitely not an easy thing.) Cause she'll probably be watching you to a certain extent? Whatever that's left if hopefully would not be so much affected and can be salvaged, main issue would be that.
Good luck? -
Emotional fishes.Originally posted by Itachi:pisces
I can almost presume you are at but just at the beginning stage of your life's relationship cycle. The first thing you have to know is that being attached doesn't mean forever. The next thing you have to know is that liking someone else while in a relationship is a common scenario. Unless it's karmic or strong magnetic attraction qualities - its nothing actually. Even it could be, in the end, how you handle your situation will determine very much about HOW you see love and the level of your maturity in matters of the heart. You may like the other party - then again, do you think that she is suitable for you? What makes you think that she will like you as well? Even if she does, can you even foresee that you could have a fulfilling relationship with her? How long do you think you can last with her when you MERELY depended and heed your liking emotions. Do you think love relationship can last on just emotions? What do you really seek? Companionship? Soul mate? Or just another teenage-test-out period flings?
Do you think you could answer all those questions, not to me, but to yourself?
To your present gf? Is love still present? Do you think you stayed on because of liability (you can't bear to see her cry; relationship went on very long liao, etc) or because you want to be with her? he feelings you have for her... the same intense ones as you felt since the day you knew her?
P.S: Don't look at others; look at yourself. The consequences are rather simple to predict, it's the self-reflection and self-acknowledgment that makes love a difficult process. Will you humble down and be in touch with heart, mind and soul?
Cheers -
The key points have been covered - just a few things:
1) How long has this attraction been going on?
2) Why have you and your girlfriend stayed together since 2001?
3) What stage of life are you at now? Are you still studying?
Despite the outcome, it may have been a good thing that you talked to your girlfriend about it. However, as Devil noted, it needs to be phrased VERY carefully. She needs to know that you're doing the right thing by being honest about it, and that you're maintaining trust by letting her know exactly what's going on. -
liao...... she went wif another guy liao..
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Oopsie!!!Originally posted by Itachi:liao...... she went wif another guy liao..
Well well.... -
Originally posted by Itachi:liao...... she went wif another guy liao..
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huh?? yr gal friend went with another guy or yr crush when with another guy??Originally posted by Itachi:liao...... she went wif another guy liao.. 
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gf la.. sian.. ma de.. 2½yr juz lidat.. liao......... haiz coz my fault.. when she sad.. i nv go truly understand her feeling, assuming she was alrite then nv chup her lidat..... tt was for ard 2 mths.. and this guy appeared..Originally posted by my_name_is_Natasha:huh?? yr gal friend went with another guy or yr crush when with another guy?? -
bao ying ah..... see open abit ba....Originally posted by Itachi:gf la.. sian.. ma de.. 2½yr juz lidat.. liao......... haiz coz my fault.. when she sad.. i nv go truly understand her feeling, assuming she was alrite then nv chup her lidat..... tt was for ard 2 mths.. and this guy appeared.. -
bao ying lo.. sianz.. 1st time understand the feeling of "xing ru dao ge"... somemore they fa zhan damn fast.. c liao = sianzOriginally posted by my_name_is_Natasha:bao ying ah..... see open abit ba.... -
You know when a gal is sad, another guy bery easi to cheng xu er lu.... 2 n haf yrs.... haiz....Originally posted by Itachi:bao ying lo.. sianz.. 1st time understand the feeling of "xing ru dao ge"... somemore they fa zhan damn fast.. c liao = sianz -
haiz.... maybe now then i noe lor.. but too late le la.. ting suo tt guy always target girls at this kinda situation one. wtf.. sian. time to change liao.. hai. everything happened just like a dream...Originally posted by my_name_is_Natasha:You know when a gal is sad, another guy bery easi to cheng xu er lu.... 2 n haf yrs.... haiz.... -
i advise u not to do this again....and you never know how hurtful the other girl feels too when you are confused and sitting on the fence.
i was ever that '3rd party' and felt quite angry when i found out the guy was already attached. so anyway he's married now and now i felt a hell lot of awkwardness.
for him, prob he was feeling stagnant with his gf at then...but i could not understand why he still chose her...so anyway i didnt give him a chance to start a r/ship with me either...so everything just silently end...we are not talking much too.
it still hurts now... -
Such thing is quite common la... When u tell your GF that u like another gal, she is mantally not happy with u or sad le... Suddenly there is a pair of shoulder there for her to lie on, u think she will wait for u or not... Forget it and move on with life... Blame yourself then blame on your EX and her stead instead...
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it's not that i like another girl la.. i just didn't show care and concern for her.. haiz. b'coz i took her for granted.. it has nth gotta do wif the girl.. hai.... ya.. blame myself for treating her this way. she's still hurt..... but happi la.. coz still haf another guy to care for her. me ar.. luckily haf lots of great frenz to hang out wif lo.. when alone.. will anihow tink again.. haiz.........
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the pasture is always greener on the other side...Originally posted by Itachi:what shld one do in such situation?
like what dumbdumb! had said... u will face this again... worse is that u will want to go back to the one u are with now...
so just ask yourself, does the current gf have what u desire as a wife or gf??? if yes why create more troubles and pain to other pple??? -
its how u spice up your relationship...Originally posted by Itachi:issit the feeling kinda turn plain liao after quite sometimes
u will want to bring in colours once in a while when u really treasure it... -
one impt thing... time is not a criteria to decide on...Originally posted by Itachi:but we haf been together since 2001
i still like her and she still likes me.. we still always veri close and we enjoyed spending time wif each other.. but sometimes i still tink of someone else i sark
u nv drag yourself with someone just because u are with hi/her for many years... u wanna go into marriage and then later on divorce???
think abt what u really want in a partner... -
x2!!Originally posted by Imperfect:one impt thing... time is not a criteria to decide on...
u nv drag yourself with someone just because u are with hi/her for many years... u wanna go into marriage and then later on divorce???
think abt what u really want in a partner...
well said!
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I think that's the problem with many SG guys. Maybe its an in-built mentality in their minds. I have alot of emotions on this issue due to what I had gone thru. No doubt ppl tend to take the other partner for granted as time passes, and no doubt there will always be temptations, one has to always think back on why you were with the girl/guy in the 1st place. What attracted you then? Yes, ppl change. That is a factor. What they like then may not be what they prefer now. Relationships are like a game that the-Big-O-Great guy up above designed and likes to play. Relationships become bland with time and when 2 are accustomed to each other. Like what Imperfect had said, spice up the relationship. Give surprises, celebrate monthly anniversaries, go to places both of you had never and usually would not go to before. Girls nowadays may not be acceptable to egoistic perceptions now with the higher educational levels and wider global views. But some things stay the same and that's why the 2 genders can never have equal rights - be sensitive to feelings, be a gentleman. That's, of course, the ideal, and being ideal, will be rare.Originally posted by Itachi:it's not that i like another girl la.. i just didn't show care and concern for her.. haiz. b'coz i took her for granted.. it has nth gotta do wif the girl.. hai.... ya.. blame myself for treating her this way. she's still hurt..... but happi la.. coz still haf another guy to care for her. me ar.. luckily haf lots of great frenz to hang out wif lo.. when alone.. will anihow tink again.. haiz......... -
I am mentally prepared that this comment will generate alot of complaints...