troubled....what should i do...?
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eh hi guys, hope you pple can bear me for being long-winded. heheh..hmm, ok, back last year, i met this guy (A) in my class. well, i thought he was cute, so i started to get close to him, to know him better.
so i took the initiative to talk to him. but he's kinda shy, so he didnt really care abt me. but as time passed by, i managed to get his hp no. and we started sms-ing. and then we started to chat on the phone every single day during the december holidays, until late midnight ard 4am+. and during this period of time, i was really happy. i donno why. i stopped thinking abt my crush(C). i waited two years for (C), and nth happened. so i gave up relationships long ago. until now...
just two weeks ago, that V.day. some other guy(B) in my class asked me out. i rejected. (A) didnt ask me out though. i donno if he likes me, perhaps a lil teensy weeny bit, i hope. two days ago, i was on the phone with (A). then halfway through the conversation, (B) called and confessed he likes me. i felt so awkward suddenly. (A) sensed something and asked me. so i told him abt it. and his reaction wasnt really big...
and then i told him that (B) asked me out that day. and i heard him mumbling something like "aiyah, why didnt i ask her out that day..." the "her" was referring to his ex...and he told me he thought abt his ex the previous day. he sounded happy abt it....and i was heartbroken. i tot he had already forgotten abt her...i wanted to cry, but i cant, we were still chatting...
(A) only got one ex. two months ago i asked him whether does he still likes his ex, and does he still thinks of her. his replied was "i treat her as fren only, nah, i stop thinking abt her le. i've already gotten over her.." when i heard this, i was delighted!! but now...he tells me he's still thinkin abt her. and then when we sms, we always call each other very initimately, eg "dear, darling...etc " i know these are only sweet talks, but im happy...one thing i must mention, I THINK HE IS A REAL RETARD. countless of times i had given him hints that i like him. and up to now, i don think he realised anything.
is there anyway to find out if he likes me or not?? shld i give up on this relationship...?? i sorta think that he's taking me for granted. whenever he's bored, he'll find me. and when he's occupied, busy playing worthless games, no matter how i sms him, he just wouldnt reply. i donno wat is he taking me as, but i just think he's selfish.
and im worried abt him knowing that i like him. bcos 2yrs ago, i confessed to (C) and he's been ignoring me since. i really am scared now. but i want him(A) so badly...yet, i am reali reali scared. wats more, we're in the same class and he's only seated beside me. wat if i confess, and he knows, den wouldnt it be bery paiseh....?? i am a negative thinker. i think of break ups more than getting together...
i've thought abt forgetting him, i tried. but i just cant seem to succeed. everyday in class, we're always playing, snatching each others' stationeries, calling each other up to talk abt schwork.
shld i be happy that we're the best of friends, or shld i be sad that we can only be frens...??
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it beta to b frd than enemines
it gd if u both could be couple in e future
but take thing step by step
dun be too harsh
it takes time to know each other beta -
i always tell people in these situations, just tell the other person how u feel. if he reciprocates your feelings, congratulations... if he doesn't well dun be dismayed. i'm sure u wouldn't want him to ignore u...but the only reason why he'll ignore u is because u give him a reason to do so.
he might ignore u cause u make him feel uncomfy. so if u do profess(its not confess...confession is something bad) your feelings for him and he rejects your advances, i'm sure he won't want to reject you as a friend either. so be open about it. i'm sure u wouldn't want to lose him as a friend so make sure u dun give him a reason to do so(i hope u know what i mean when i say "reasons" if u dun, PM me)
if u play it cool and still treat him like a friend instead of idolising him or worshippin the ground he walks on, and he STILL ignores u, then he's a prick that's not worth your time.. -
if it were me i'd simply ask him how he feels about me and about us as a couple. march straight up to him and ask him face-2-face, tell him u wanna take this freindship 1 step further!
He might be shocked but if he's smart he'll take that step with you!
my 2 cents .... -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:eh hi guys, hope you pple can bear me for being long-winded. heheh..hmm, ok, back last year, i met this guy (A) in my class. well, i thought he was cute, so i started to get close to him, to know him better.
so i took the initiative to talk to him. but he's kinda shy, so he didnt really care abt me. but as time passed by, i managed to get his hp no. and we started sms-ing. and then we started to chat on the phone every single day during the december holidays, until late midnight ard 4am+. and during this period of time, i was really happy. i donno why. i stopped thinking abt my crush(C). i waited two years for (C), and nth happened. so i gave up relationships long ago. until now...
just two weeks ago, that V.day. some other guy(B) in my class asked me out. i rejected. (A) didnt ask me out though. i donno if he likes me, perhaps a lil teensy weeny bit, i hope. two days ago, i was on the phone with (A). then halfway through the conversation, (B) called and confessed he likes me. i felt so awkward suddenly. (A) sensed something and asked me. so i told him abt it. and his reaction wasnt really big...
and then i told him that (B) asked me out that day. and i heard him mumbling something like "aiyah, why didnt i ask her out that day..." the "her" was referring to his ex...and he told me he thought abt his ex the previous day. he sounded happy abt it....and i was heartbroken. i tot he had already forgotten abt her...i wanted to cry, but i cant, we were still chatting...
(A) only got one ex. two months ago i asked him whether does he still likes his ex, and does he still thinks of her. his replied was "i treat her as fren only, nah, i stop thinking abt her le. i've already gotten over her.." when i heard this, i was delighted!! but now...he tells me he's still thinkin abt her. and then when we sms, we always call each other very initimately, eg "dear, darling...etc " i know these are only sweet talks, but im happy...one thing i must mention, I THINK HE IS A REAL RETARD. countless of times i had given him hints that i like him. and up to now, i don think he realised anything.
is there anyway to find out if he likes me or not?? shld i give up on this relationship...?? i sorta think that he's taking me for granted. whenever he's bored, he'll find me. and when he's occupied, busy playing worthless games, no matter how i sms him, he just wouldnt reply. i donno wat is he taking me as, but i just think he's selfish.
and im worried abt him knowing that i like him. bcos 2yrs ago, i confessed to (C) and he's been ignoring me since. i really am scared now. but i want him(A) so badly...yet, i am reali reali scared. wats more, we're in the same class and he's only seated beside me. wat if i confess, and he knows, den wouldnt it be bery paiseh....?? i am a negative thinker. i think of break ups more than getting together...
i've thought abt forgetting him, i tried. but i just cant seem to succeed. everyday in class, we're always playing, snatching each others' stationeries, calling each other up to talk abt schwork.
shld i be happy that we're the best of friends, or shld i be sad that we can only be frens...??
Ok, I was thinking that this problem revolves around 3 people (afterall, there are A, B and C), phew not as complicating as it seemed to be. C is completely a character of the past with absolutely little connection. B is merely a passing by character - since he has no major impact in your personal tale - you can leave him out as well.
Then comes A, your ultimate crush, your source of agony. By the way, he is NOT a retard - in fact, there are only two reasons.
I) He knows it, but he refuse to acknowledge anything because he hasn't have any BGR feelings for you. Maybe if you consider 'sisterly love' as his form of affection bah. Anything else, hasn't been considered, yet. In my view, I am quite sure he falls under this category.
II) He truely doesn't know - man's curse. Man can't be hinted; the obvious way out of this is to speak your mind and tell him your exact feelings.
Well, you have a choice: to say or keep mum. To remain everything this way, yes you are right, you could only be good friends at best. You fear to express because you want to succeed, yet if you somehow fail, you dunno how to face him and risk losing this friendship. Why not combine this two components, modify and present them?
What I mean?
Tell him that about your liking for him WITHOUT expecting him to enter into a relationship with you. He will/will not be stunned/shocked, depending on how 'retarded' he is. Your aim for this confession is merely to let him know - well, if he truely likes you then, he will decide and tell you on a later date. This will not only relieve your emotional burden through sharing this information, but also to answer to your own queries about his thoughts and feelings. And importantly: Pick the right time.
Cheers -
very good idea! sure work wan!Originally posted by Yunhaier:Tell him that about your liking for him WITHOUT expecting him to enter into a relationship with you. He will/will not be stunned/shocked, depending on how 'retarded' he is. Your aim for this confession is merely to let him know - well, if he truely likes you then, he will decide and tell you on a later date. This will not only relieve your emotional burden through sharing this information, but also to answer to your own queries about his thoughts and feelings. And importantly: Pick the right time.
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you have personally experienced and learnt that lesson in red once and let that be the last. the benefits of confessing are non-existant as compared to the risks that follow. if he's interested in you, you don't need to propose nothing. if he ain't, confessing won't help but might even cause him to avoid you. i suggest you take this guy easy first and be aware that he ain't the only nice and good-looking guy around. he just happened to be one of the 1st few to walk into your life.Originally posted by blueberryjam:eh hi guys, hope you pple can bear me for being long-winded. heheh..hmm, ok, back last year, i met this guy (A) in my class. well, i thought he was cute, so i started to get close to him, to know him better.
so i took the initiative to talk to him. but he's kinda shy, so he didnt really care abt me. but as time passed by, i managed to get his hp no. and we started sms-ing. and then we started to chat on the phone every single day during the december holidays, until late midnight ard 4am+. and during this period of time, i was really happy. i donno why. i stopped thinking abt my crush(C). i waited two years for (C), and nth happened. so i gave up relationships long ago. until now...
just two weeks ago, that V.day. some other guy(B) in my class asked me out. i rejected. (A) didnt ask me out though. i donno if he likes me, perhaps a lil teensy weeny bit, i hope. two days ago, i was on the phone with (A). then halfway through the conversation, (B) called and confessed he likes me. i felt so awkward suddenly. (A) sensed something and asked me. so i told him abt it. and his reaction wasnt really big...
and then i told him that (B) asked me out that day. and i heard him mumbling something like "aiyah, why didnt i ask her out that day..." the "her" was referring to his ex...and he told me he thought abt his ex the previous day. he sounded happy abt it....and i was heartbroken. i tot he had already forgotten abt her...i wanted to cry, but i cant, we were still chatting...
(A) only got one ex. two months ago i asked him whether does he still likes his ex, and does he still thinks of her. his replied was "i treat her as fren only, nah, i stop thinking abt her le. i've already gotten over her.." when i heard this, i was delighted!! but now...he tells me he's still thinkin abt her. and then when we sms, we always call each other very initimately, eg "dear, darling...etc " i know these are only sweet talks, but im happy...one thing i must mention, I THINK HE IS A REAL RETARD. countless of times i had given him hints that i like him. and up to now, i don think he realised anything.
is there anyway to find out if he likes me or not?? shld i give up on this relationship...?? i sorta think that he's taking me for granted. whenever he's bored, he'll find me. and when he's occupied, busy playing worthless games, no matter how i sms him, he just wouldnt reply. i donno wat is he taking me as, but i just think he's selfish.
and im worried abt him knowing that i like him. bcos 2yrs ago, i confessed to (C) and he's been ignoring me since. i really am scared now. but i want him(A) so badly...yet, i am reali reali scared. wats more, we're in the same class and he's only seated beside me. wat if i confess, and he knows, den wouldnt it be bery paiseh....?? i am a negative thinker. i think of break ups more than getting together...
i've thought abt forgetting him, i tried. but i just cant seem to succeed. everyday in class, we're always playing, snatching each others' stationeries, calling each other up to talk abt schwork.
shld i be happy that we're the best of friends, or shld i be sad that we can only be frens...?? -
if u don't try, u'll never know, i dun think us humans were built to withstand such self-control lah, follow Yun's advise; ask!
dun live with regrets k? -
mayb he jz wanna take it slow n stay frens first... now jz enjoy the moment wif him as frens first, if he makes a move then gd lor..
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thanks alot pple. yeah and eh, Yun, i think i'll try to follow ur advice. it seems nice and it sure makes alot of sense. lol. anyway, im really happy to be such great frens wif (A)...but i still hope i can be with him...i dunno if you guys understand what im talking. its contradicting ya i know..
i wan him to be aware of my feelings, yet im scared. he also quite dumb de.. dumb insensitive animal!!! i just don wan another case like (C)... 
anyway, just wanna say a BIG THANK YOU to you guys, for helping me out. hUgGieS for everyone!! and a big kiss to Yun~ lol
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Welcome. Enjoy your stay here.Originally posted by blueberryjam:thanks alot pple. yeah and eh, Yun, i think i'll try to follow ur advice. it seems nice and it sure makes alot of sense. lol. anyway, im really happy to be such great frens wif (A)...but i still hope i can be with him...i dunno if you guys understand what im talking. its contradicting ya i know..
i wan him to be aware of my feelings, yet im scared. he also quite dumb de.. dumb insensitive animal!!! i just don wan another case like (C)...
anyway, just wanna say a BIG THANK YOU to you guys, for helping me out. hUgGieS for everyone!! and a big kiss to Yun~ lol 
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Gal confessing to a guy. I wonders whos the lucky fart.
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eh eh one more thing i need help with, Yun??
ehhhh wat if....wat if he and his ex patch...wat shld i do? how shld i react.....dat time when he say he miss his ex, i already feel like crying.... now i dunno wat i'll do... i guess he still likes her.... haiss... -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:eh eh one more thing i need help with, Yun??
ehhhh wat if....wat if he and his ex patch...wat shld i do? how shld i react.....dat time when he say he miss his ex, i already feel like crying.... now i dunno wat i'll do... i guess he still likes her.... haiss... If he and his ex patch and on loving grounds - with or without your presence, it doesn't matter to them, because they desired to. Then again, it doesn't matter to you if you just want to tell him about your feelings because with or without the presence of his ex - you still feel the same way isn't it?
When you have done your part and did all you can, the overall decision lies with him - this aspect is beyond your control.
Learn from Mr Hung: 'I already gave my best and I have no regrets.' Or would you rather save your best and have regrets?
P.S: The only people who never fail, are people who never try. Whether you are with him or not does it matter? Do you hope to see the best in him? Treat a possible relationship as a bonus, than a 'right' result. Afterall, your objective of declaring is to ease your emotional burden.
Cheers -
how you should react will probably depend on whether he's willing to give you a fighting chance, ie will he consider trying to go bgr with you. if you think your chances are good, then by all means show him that you wish him to be with you. but... if you think he's heart is still in custody of his ex. then your best bet is to bide your time. and for the time being, be his confidante even to the extent of being his love advisor. which might tear you apart. but at least he will still confide in you rather than avoid you. that is a very useful position to be in. meanwhile don't wait in vain but rather, go find some other guys for back-up purposes. they will prevent you from being occupied only with him.Originally posted by blueberryjam:ehhhh wat if....wat if he and his ex patch...wat shld i do? how shld i react.....dat time when he say he miss his ex, i already feel like crying.... now i dunno wat i'll do... i guess he still likes her.... haiss... -
well...since the (b) can confess to u that he likes u ,y u cannot confess that u likes him also? just go tell him lah...all the best to u bah....
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maybe the hints u gave to guy A is not 'deep' enough for A to get your feeling. Guy A mention his Ex before you is wanted to test your feelings towards him, see wheather u would get jealous anot and not really that he still misses his Ex. Don ever give hints to a guy cause he would get confuse, guys seem to be more retard in relationship mayb. If u really like him, provided u have a moderate outlooks, just confess your feeling to him.