overseas relationships. Fantasy or real? views...
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have a little prob... Basically went overseas(OZ) to pursue my studies, fell in love with a great guy and we had a relationship for nearly 2 years. In short, it was a pretty good
Got my citizenship and he wanted to try to get his after graduation. Plans were made ...etc etc But things changed when he returned home after graduation. Initially, he tried to convince his parents to return to OZ etc But as days and later weeks passed, he lost his fightin spirit. on the other hand, i got really paranoid and insecure...as i am never one to believe in long distance relationships. And i mentioned this to him In the end he decided to end the relationship. He said that he loves me but the timing is not right (all these happened in a time span of 1 mth)
i just want some views. Basically i am just confuse coz everything happened too quickly -
hmm... hmmm..
You mean you have your PR.. unless you were already a PR before.
Ok.. that's not the issue.
What on earth happened? Why did he go back before he put in for his PR application.. Hmm.. just realised.. it is not the PR application granting season unless you graduated in June. Anyway.. the point is.. he is.. SO OLD. Why let his parents manipulate him? Unless he needs his money. What makes you think that you can't go home tomorrow? Unless you are in different countries.
Talk to him.. Ask him if it is just his parents butting into your relationship of he genuinely doesn't love you anymore?
Basically long distance relationships are cumbersome.. and OH SO DIFFICULT to maintain. I can give you my exbf's number.. he will tell you all about it! Hehehe.. it was so painful.. so annoying.. such an awful experience. I've heard some people said they survived it.. but i'm not going back to it again. -
helo lingos...erm....
1) he cant apply for his PR becos he doesnt qualify. he needs to further his education but parents control the purse strings, naturally
2) he told me tt he loves me but is under alot of parental pressure to get a job
3) i wanted to move to SG (i m not singaporean)but he noes tt i dun really like SG (no offence) and he is afraid tt i will be making a huge mistake coz well we r too young
basically i guess i am just pissed tt evrything is just thrown away in a flash. too sudden -
helo lingos...erm....
1) he cant apply for his PR becos he doesnt qualify. he needs to further his education but parents control the purse strings, naturally
2) he told me tt he loves me but is under alot of parental pressure to get a job
3) i wanted to move to SG (i m not singaporean)but he noes tt i dun really like SG (no offence) and he is afraid tt i will be making a huge mistake coz well we r too young
basically i guess i am just pissed tt evrything is just thrown away in a flash. too sudden -
no choice, hv to let it go... unless u feel tat both of u can go further then come here n join him lor... u may like it here...Originally posted by shopgirl:helo lingos...erm....
1) he cant apply for his PR becos he doesnt qualify. he needs to further his education but parents control the purse strings, naturally
2) he told me tt he loves me but is under alot of parental pressure to get a job
3) i wanted to move to SG (i m not singaporean)but he noes tt i dun really like SG (no offence) and he is afraid tt i will be making a huge mistake coz well we r too young
basically i guess i am just pissed tt evrything is just thrown away in a flash. too sudden -
Takes quite alot of commitment. I know quite a few frens who have overseas relationships. Either the bf here or gf here kinda thing. Actually i'm a particular case myself and i tell you it ain't easy but its possible. Good luck.
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Originally posted by shopgirl:have a little prob... Basically went overseas(OZ) to pursue my studies, fell in love with a great guy and we had a relationship for nearly 2 years. In short, it was a pretty good
Got my citizenship and he wanted to try to get his after graduation. Plans were made ...etc etc But things changed when he returned home after graduation. Initially, he tried to convince his parents to return to OZ etc But as days and later weeks passed, he lost his fightin spirit. on the other hand, i got really paranoid and insecure...as i am never one to believe in long distance relationships. And i mentioned this to him In the end he decided to end the relationship. He said that he loves me but the timing is not right (all these happened in a time span of 1 mth)
i just want some views. Basically i am just confuse coz everything happened too quickly
These are the few exceptions in love where we chose to give them up not because we lost the spirit of love, rather, because both parties already foresee the hurdle and much difficulty in continuing this relationship and doesn't want to risk souring the relationship due to overwhelming factors that could render friendship impossible in the future if the relationship doesn't work out.
I can tell you, avoid LDR whenever possible.
P.S: You may want to let go and leave everything to fate. Sometimes when our minds are so drained from planning and all that - we need a little rest, so that fate can play it's part (if it has a part to play). If not, at least thank god that the relationship didn't pollute and corrupt - it ended sweetly, or rather nicely.
Cheers -
thanks all for the advice. i need closure but somehow its hard, i mean its easier if say, he cheated on me.
looking back i can only think of all the things we did together, the good memories. been trying to find a reason to get angry and psyche myself to forget the issue but..... i guess i can only wish him all the best. and i do agree that all the thinking and planning drains one out mentally as well as physically...i forgot how to sleep... i know its a little drastic but i changed my contact number, the out of sight out of mind theory (well in this case not hearing his voice)
came to a point i dun want to know wats going on in his life. not becoz i dun care but i am afraid that he is gettin on better w/o me. believe me, this is sucky -
its hard. basically... thats sort of the reason my last r/s ended.
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sorry duplicate
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it is... im actually... more or less in the same boat as u are in.Originally posted by shopgirl:thanks all for the advice. i need closure but somehow its hard, i mean its easier if say, he cheated on me.
looking back i can only think of all the things we did together, the good memories. been trying to find a reason to get angry and psyche myself to forget the issue but..... i guess i can only wish him all the best. and i do agree that all the thinking and planning drains one out mentally as well as physically...i forgot how to sleep... i know its a little drastic but i changed my contact number, the out of sight out of mind theory (well in this case not hearing his voice)
came to a point i dun want to know wats going on in his life. not becoz i dun care but i am afraid that he is gettin on better w/o me. believe me, this is sucky -
i am a live example
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wah... antoh u also. ^5!
wo men lai he ge tong kuai! -
still remain friends? or give up the friendship? i am a little extreme, i guess. how can you remain frenz w/ your exes.its bull. either way, its going to hurt unless BOTH of us have move on. i am just a little sad that it has to end this wayOriginally posted by HENG@:it is... im actually... more or less in the same boat as u are in.
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It doesn't matter. It's over. Just let go...Originally posted by shopgirl:thanks all for the advice. i need closure but somehow its hard, i mean its easier if say, he cheated on me.
looking back i can only think of all the things we did together, the good memories. been trying to find a reason to get angry and psyche myself to forget the issue but..... i guess i can only wish him all the best. and i do agree that all the thinking and planning drains one out mentally as well as physically...i forgot how to sleep... i know its a little drastic but i changed my contact number, the out of sight out of mind theory (well in this case not hearing his voice)
came to a point i dun want to know wats going on in his life. not becoz i dun care but i am afraid that he is gettin on better w/o me. believe me, this is sucky -
i remain friends with her, even if it means inside of me, im hurting.Originally posted by shopgirl:still remain friends? or give up the friendship? i am a little extreme, i guess. how can you remain frenz w/ your exes.its bull. either way, its going to hurt unless BOTH of us have move on. i am just a little sad that it has to end this way -
Erm.. how do you guys remain friends.. immediately after breaking up? I think you need at least 1 year to recover. I know i can't.. you guys are super duper man.
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well, we agreed on spliting, because it seems the best thing to do. so we.... should i say... didn't exactly split up, rather, we took our r/s back down a level to be friends. yah i know this sort of things is rare, but we simply didn't hate each other and we both really wanted to remain as friends so here we are... friends still.Originally posted by Lingos:Erm.. how do you guys remain friends.. immediately after breaking up? I think you need at least 1 year to recover. I know i can't.. you guys are super duper man. -
how can one bring the relationship down one level...that will be something i need to work on. isn't it weird when you face the person?
you can't go back to holding hands once you kissed... well your actions should be applaud coz i prob can't do that. [/quote] -
well... we somehow managed to.Originally posted by shopgirl:how can one bring the relationship down one level...that will be something i need to work on. isn't it weird when you face the person?
you can't go back to holding hands once you kissed... well your actions should be applaud coz i prob can't do that. [/quote] -
Nah, I wouldn't recommend LDRs at all. I'm stuck in Singapore for a year and my gf's in Oz, and we've decided that it's not going to work this way - so she's decided to quit her job and come over to join me.
Unfortunately, in your case, it seems he doesn't have the freedom of choice that my gf does.
As for having your other half run off with someone overseas, that's a bona fide pain in the arse, so do be careful what you wish for.
Staying friends with exes is entirely possible - I'm still great friends with my last two. In the first case we took three months' time apart and in the second case it was one day. Okay, so we don't hold hands and kiss, but we don't have any problems with hugs.