suicidal
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i just spent 1 hr arguing with my parents anything from computers to how my sch mates are treating me,how ppl screw up in the most impossible ways and yet have to swallow it all down,how i shld shut the fark up when hijack the prac and do everything on my own without any input from lab partner and we get the best results?
it seems i cant communicate with my parents..especially with my dad. i cant see waht he wants me to do things. when i do something and he many times just out of the blue tell me he wants he this way want it that way but he made no mention of it. then he says he wanna train me on it but problem is,when i try to anticipate what he wants and he will tell me not to act smart and follow instructions when it is given. like whatever i do he will change the damn goalpost. he is never happy with whatever i do.
he everytime nvr allows me to talk and he just scolds me or tells me off. then when i interrupt and explain why i did this or did that, he will say he is not scolding me but he is telling me how this world works. i am not aganist his idea of telling me how this world works because i do have to admit because of his job nature he meets up with all kinds of morons at work with more conspiracy plans than hollywood has scripts. but he is always changing his side of story to fit himself. it;s like trying to search for oil when someone tells u it;s in the middle of pacific ocean. u go ard trying to search for a tiny spot in the world's largest ocean.
it;s not just this arguement that is really pressing me.
i am also facing pressure from school to perform and also to handup so many assignments given 1-2 weeks before a week's break and handup so many on day 1. 1 lecturer asks everyone individually whether he/she needs extension or something. some ppl havent even started yet.
then i am also facing problems with some modules because i am really lost in some of them.
and also because i am buying some parts for the com, the vendor i am dealing with is hopelessly unprofessional and confused. revised and revised specs and still CMI.
sigh... -
this is life...
gotta get used to it...
learn how to deal with it...
like listening... i mean listening.. absorb what the person is saying, analyse it.. don't interrupt... and then figure it out...
at work (school for you) you'll meet lots of people like this.. however, learn how to deal with people like that...
perhaps, they look upon you as the one giving them problems, just as you do when you look at them?
everything can be dealt with.. without being suicidal..
if these things are causing suicidal thoughts, you are going to be one depressed soul, no matter where you go, no matter what you do.. coz there are HEAVIER things in store for you as you grow.. and life hits you...
life is never fair.. we just gotta learn how to make the best of things.. by doing our best.. -
Erm...
chill pill.. nothing ever goes your way.
Mind you.. these are just normal obstacles. Have you asked your friends who are in the IT ind what to do bout your pc?
About feeling lost in your modules. Speak to your lecturer. I never did.. but somehow i always made it through. Everyone is different, ask your lecturer or tutor what you are doing wrong etc. That's what they are paid for.
If you want help in the comp parts and stuff. I'll ask someone to give you a call. -
then last night while i was doing my report all the farking way till 2.30am my mum came in and ask me what time my sch starts today so i told her 8am.
then this morning i woke up ard 7.20am because i could barely sleep at all. managed to fall asleep at 3am eventually and woke up at 4+am for food.
then i told my mum i had classes at 8 and she thought 11am. and when i was waiting in the living room for my family to be ready so we can leave together. then my father shouted at me asking me why i said 11am instead of 8am then we had this massive fight that caused by my mum to shout from the downstairs bathroom to tell us not to fight. he said he asked me what time lessons start and he said i told him it was 11am. but fark lah, i know my timetable better than he does. he went on insisting this stupid story and claim so i told him maybe when i was talking in my dreams then he screamed at me saying what what u are talking in yr dreams i cant remember.
so i told him whatever i say in my dreams i cannot remember unless it is a very unique event and it was due to my subconscious mind that 'answered' him. he went on rambling abt " like this also want to argue, dunno what u are arguing abt" after a short pause.
like sibei farked up...early in the morning kanna shouted by him. i wanted to tell him my mum had asked me what time my lessons started today.
do u know how much i wish my parents would disown me ? so that i dun have to bear this shit fucking load of crapshit and nonsense i have to support their uttering foul " fuck you fuck you " mouths ? who cares abt inheritence? i dont want a single cent. i just hope to be totally dissociated from these ppl. from now on i shall call these ppl "genetically-linked individuals" because from the way they treated me i feel the only link is thru my DNA. i feel no identity at home at all. i dont feel at home. i dunno waht u call the place i sleep every night. today after sch i am going to the IT fair..i would staying until my guards throw me out. because going home is worse than having to do so many reports at 1 go.
last night, for the first time in like 2,3 years, i cried. not those sobbing kinds, but tears just flowed. it was when i really felt very stressed out by the discussion and when i tried to defend myself, i got scolded from denying my fault.
i really hate them. sometimes i wish some window will come crashing down on me, or i faint and fall onto the tracks of an oncoming train or some stray car would kill me when i am crossing the road, or victim of some arsenic or cyanide poisoning at sch or waht.
i am dying for the day i go NS. why? because i dont have to see them for 6days and when i get back, i just fall asleep. -
like your signature.. you see the problem unsolved.. work at it.. when you have an argument, what's the best solution? run away? listen and reflect on it?
do what you want.. but giving up on living is not the solution..
dealing with people takes effort.. sometimes you give, sometimes you take..
at the end of it, decisions have consequences.. you decide what you want to do
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Bismarck,
Suicide is never the ans to adolescent problems. I can't profess to speak for all the posters, but I noe I've been thru wat u've gone thru, or @ least v. similar to it. Wat u've described is juz how many parents r *smilez*
Abt 6 yrs back, when I was 20, I patched thgs up wif my parents & from there, we've built a v. solid bond between us. That's when they let me in on their side of the story & their feelings.
Parents r human, they err too, & when they tell u wat to do, they're actually trying to suggest ways for u to improve, & to guide u along life's path. Some dun treat u as an adult until a later stage, it's juz how life is.
When u sez ur dad changes his story to suit watever pts he makes/made, it's cosh parents r scared too. They dowan to appear fallible or inadequate in their child's eyes, simply cosh they're afraid u'll lose respect for them, & will turn away from wat they're trying to teach u. Sometimes they dun realise tt this cld instill rebellion & defiance.
Now tt u noe how ur parents feel, try Not to get so upset. Perhaps 1 day, when ur r'ship wif them has improved (like mine has since 6 yrs back), they'll tell u abt their feelings & fears @ this pt in time (which is, NOW).
Ultimately, wat's impt is tt ur parents love u, & tho they may be wrong, & irritatingly insistent tt they're more experienced (true, but tt doesn't mean they're right all the time), bottomline is tt they haf ur interests @ heart : )
RPOriginally posted by bismarck:i just spent 1 hr arguing with my parents anything from computers to how my sch mates are treating me,how ppl screw up in the most impossible ways and yet have to swallow it all down,how i shld shut the fark up when hijack the prac and do everything on my own without any input from lab partner and we get the best results?
it seems i cant communicate with my parents..especially with my dad. i cant see waht he wants me to do things. when i do something and he many times just out of the blue tell me he wants he this way want it that way but he made no mention of it. then he says he wanna train me on it but problem is,when i try to anticipate what he wants and he will tell me not to act smart and follow instructions when it is given. like whatever i do he will change the damn goalpost. he is never happy with whatever i do.
he everytime nvr allows me to talk and he just scolds me or tells me off. then when i interrupt and explain why i did this or did that, he will say he is not scolding me but he is telling me how this world works. i am not aganist his idea of telling me how this world works because i do have to admit because of his job nature he meets up with all kinds of morons at work with more conspiracy plans than hollywood has scripts. but he is always changing his side of story to fit himself. it;s like trying to search for oil when someone tells u it;s in the middle of pacific ocean. u go ard trying to search for a tiny spot in the world's largest ocean.
it;s not just this arguement that is really pressing me.
i am also facing pressure from school to perform and also to handup so many assignments given 1-2 weeks before a week's break and handup so many on day 1. 1 lecturer asks everyone individually whether he/she needs extension or something. some ppl havent even started yet.
then i am also facing problems with some modules because i am really lost in some of them.
and also because i am buying some parts for the com, the vendor i am dealing with is hopelessly unprofessional and confused. revised and revised specs and still CMI.
sigh... -
I believe you're a BIOTECH student... In NP?Originally posted by bismarck:i just spent 1 hr arguing with my parents anything from computers to how my sch mates are treating me,how ppl screw up in the most impossible ways and yet have to swallow it all down,how i shld shut the fark up when hijack the prac and do everything on my own without any input from lab partner and we get the best results?
it seems i cant communicate with my parents..especially with my dad. i cant see waht he wants me to do things. when i do something and he many times just out of the blue tell me he wants he this way want it that way but he made no mention of it. then he says he wanna train me on it but problem is,when i try to anticipate what he wants and he will tell me not to act smart and follow instructions when it is given. like whatever i do he will change the damn goalpost. he is never happy with whatever i do.
he everytime nvr allows me to talk and he just scolds me or tells me off. then when i interrupt and explain why i did this or did that, he will say he is not scolding me but he is telling me how this world works. i am not aganist his idea of telling me how this world works because i do have to admit because of his job nature he meets up with all kinds of morons at work with more conspiracy plans than hollywood has scripts. but he is always changing his side of story to fit himself. it;s like trying to search for oil when someone tells u it;s in the middle of pacific ocean. u go ard trying to search for a tiny spot in the world's largest ocean.
it;s not just this arguement that is really pressing me.
i am also facing pressure from school to perform and also to handup so many assignments given 1-2 weeks before a week's break and handup so many on day 1. 1 lecturer asks everyone individually whether he/she needs extension or something. some ppl havent even started yet.
then i am also facing problems with some modules because i am really lost in some of them.
and also because i am buying some parts for the com, the vendor i am dealing with is hopelessly unprofessional and confused. revised and revised specs and still CMI.
sigh...
The modules you're going through and the sh|t about how your school mates not doing their part... Ya... Been there and through it... And I believe there're many others who have gone through that phase too...
1st thing I would like you to know... If you think you're struggling in your work, rest assured.. You're probably not alone... Just keep up to your toes and try to perform.. Since you've mentioned NS, I would tell you NS's gonna be quite the same... You'll be PUSHED to the MAX probably... Just do your part... Some failures in life are inevitable...
2nd thing about non-cooperative people... They won't be just in your school... The society has lots of them in store for you... Some of them would just be 'sucking on your blood'... Part of life... Unless you really can do something about it, learn to live with it.... -
close but not close enuf....SPOriginally posted by Devil1976:I believe you're a BIOTECH student... In NP?
The modules you're going through and the sh|t about how your school mates not doing their part... Ya... Been there and through it... And I believe there're many others who have gone through that phase too...
1st thing I would like you to know... If you think you're struggling in your work, rest assured.. You're probably not alone... Just keep up to your toes and try to perform.. Since you've mentioned NS, I would tell you NS's gonna be quite the same... You'll be PUSHED to the MAX probably... Just do your part... Some failures in life are inevitable...
2nd thing about non-cooperative people... They won't be just in your school... The society has lots of them in store for you... Some of them would just be 'sucking on your blood'... Part of life... Unless you really can do something about it, learn to live with it....
anyway the only consolation is that there is module i LOVE very much.... -
yep..very true..i'm struggling with my work too..and there are really a lot of non cooperative people in my life as well. as he said, learn to live with itOriginally posted by Devil1976:I believe you're a BIOTECH student... In NP?
The modules you're going through and the sh|t about how your school mates not doing their part... Ya... Been there and through it... And I believe there're many others who have gone through that phase too...
1st thing I would like you to know... If you think you're struggling in your work, rest assured.. You're probably not alone... Just keep up to your toes and try to perform.. Since you've mentioned NS, I would tell you NS's gonna be quite the same... You'll be PUSHED to the MAX probably... Just do your part... Some failures in life are inevitable...
2nd thing about non-cooperative people... They won't be just in your school... The society has lots of them in store for you... Some of them would just be 'sucking on your blood'... Part of life... Unless you really can do something about it, learn to live with it....
Perfect by Simple Plan
Hey dad look at me.
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time...
Doing things I wanna do
But it hurts when you disapprove all along.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect -
One day you wake up, you'll learn that some things in life is just inevitable... Others..? Just depends on how you see them...Originally posted by bismarck:close but not close enuf....SP
anyway the only consolation is that there is module i LOVE very much.... -
at least u stil gt money to study
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No offence Bismarck, I find that you are easily offended.
Because you're high strung and very defensive. You feel that everything other people say is a criticism.
Such as the incidents we had. Hmm.. i hope this doesn't get you all bouncing off the walls.
Maybe you need to chill bro. Justtell yourself.. what they say cannot hurt you. Don't raise your voice because it will be an escalate into a shouting match. Just say.. whatever! i don't care! -
hey ya .......
been reading wat ppl wrote n well, i think almost every adult has
been thru wat u r goin thru now .... it's the high expectations of
some parents n the society 2 ... but nevertheless, u have 2 do ur
very best 2 go thru life coz life itself isn't plain sailing ... u still
have so many years ahead of u n things 2 discover n people 2
meet , so i dun think suicide is a very gd solution, dun even
think about it ... best thing 2 do, learn 2 be patient n listen 2 wat
ppl say ... be it good or bad .. coz good, u can always use it and if
bad, just ignore it .. going 2 NS n not see them for 6 days ?? u
wished u werent in NS !!!
hang tough !!! -
it does depend on how the criticism is given. not by dismissing what one says as utter nonsenseOriginally posted by Lingos:No offence Bismarck, I find that you are easily offended.
Because you're high strung and very defensive. You feel that everything other people say is a criticism.
Such as the incidents we had. Hmm.. i hope this doesn't get you all bouncing off the walls.
Maybe you need to chill bro. Justtell yourself.. what they say cannot hurt you. Don't raise your voice because it will be an escalate into a shouting match. Just say.. whatever! i don't care! -
wah.. u too sensitive la... but i understand cuz i oso quite sensitive.. like v defensive. u must be more positive in life. =)
u are a wonderful person, and u are worth living for,
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the reason why i am so sensitive because all along i have been the receiving end of wahtever my parents and sis lashing from the stresses of their day
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every life is a gift and is worth living.Originally posted by dumbdumb!:wah.. u too sensitive la... but i understand cuz i oso quite sensitive.. like v defensive. u must be more positive in life. =)
u are a wonderful person, and u are worth living for,