Advise needed.
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since somebody already complain tat pink is hard to read,i shall change to black when writing something impt.
Tis is something happened to one of my best frend(guy).
His gf haf been avoiding him.NOt attending sch.She haf not been returning home for the pass few weeks but she did call him 2 or 3 times for the pass few weeks.But whenever he called or tect her,she wun reply.
N when my frend told her off,she will kick a big fuss out of it n they will both end up quarreling.
Now,the questions is..
Wat is he suppose to do?cuz he cant get hold of her as she is not attending sch n not going home.No point waiting at sch or at her house.
Wat is the msg the girl is trying to get across?
i came up wif a few like..
the higher possibility is tat she does not love him anymore.
or she might b hiding something tat had happened to her family n she is not telling.
Thxs.. -
Yeah, highly possible. Think the guy should give his gf some space 1st. When the gf wants to talk, she'll look for him ASAP.
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Hmm... she might be having some problems at home. Know any of her friends who might know the reason?
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dun think so bahz.. i dunno the ger personally actually bahz.. but from wat i gather from my frend,her family esp her mum abit problemetic..Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hmm... she might be having some problems at home. Know any of her friends who might know the reason?
but i guess nobody really noes wat happened to her bcuz she dun even wanna tell my frend,her bf, dun need to say the rest le bahz.. -
why i said in shoutbox that may be heading for disaster..
she's not turning to the one who is her partner...
and she's avoiding him...
he's trying his best and is at a loss but she's not going home, not going to school, probably mixed up in some things which even her family is not privy to, and her family cannot prevent, much less him..
it may end in tears..
i hope not
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love.. cuzing everyone to haf a headache.. such a touchy thing...
all go b nuns n monks hao le~ -
I suspect the problem is not with ur friend, but her family problem. If she doesn't want to let him knows there is nothing much he can do about it.Originally posted by tia:dun think so bahz.. i dunno the ger personally actually bahz.. but from wat i gather from my frend,her family esp her mum abit problemetic..
but i guess nobody really noes wat happened to her bcuz she dun even wanna tell my frend,her bf, dun need to say the rest le bahz..
But keep the sms going to stay in touch. Just my suggestion. Good luck to ur friend. -
all my frend can do is to wait for her to keep in touch wif him..
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mayb in the wrong company bahz..Originally posted by the Bear:why i said in shoutbox that may be heading for disaster..
she's not turning to the one who is her partner...
and she's avoiding him...
he's trying his best and is at a loss but she's not going home, not going to school, probably mixed up in some things which even her family is not privy to, and her family cannot prevent, much less him..
it may end in tears..
i hope not -
Originally posted by tia:since somebody already complain tat pink is hard to read,i shall change to black when writing something impt.
Tis is something happened to one of my best frend(guy).
His gf haf been avoiding him.NOt attending sch.She haf not been returning home for the pass few weeks but she did call him 2 or 3 times for the pass few weeks.But whenever he called or tect her,she wun reply.
N when my frend told her off,she will kick a big fuss out of it n they will both end up quarreling.
Now,the questions is..
Wat is he suppose to do?cuz he cant get hold of her as she is not attending sch n not going home.No point waiting at sch or at her house.
Wat is the msg the girl is trying to get across?
i came up wif a few like..
the higher possibility is tat she does not love him anymore.
or she might b hiding something tat had happened to her family n she is not telling.
Thxs..
Deception ambush - There are more than meets the eye. With situations like this, it is difficult to gauge the real scene, but I suggest your friend to date his gf out and have this nice talk to her. There are tactics to find out through communication:
She is standing at advantage. Under Beggar Theory, useless to employ pressure. I suggest use emotional wordings and style of communication (especially against Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio). Never start the session with a bout of scolding. She will never talk in this way. Place empathy, hold temper, seek understanding and always show concern. Gradually she will give in and reveal the things that are happening provided situations are revolved around non-love external matters. E.g. family problem, rebellious, etc.
If it is a change of heart, she may not expressed them if the above tactic were to employ. Then, observe a time frame to keep check.
Cheers -
abit chim.. but somehow get wat u trying to say..Originally posted by Yunhaier: Deception ambush - There are more than meets the eye. With situations like this, it is difficult to gauge the real scene, but I suggest your friend to date his gf out and have this nice talk to her. There are tactics to find out through communication:
She is standing at advantage. Under Beggar Theory, useless to employ pressure. I suggest use emotional wordings and style of communication (especially against Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio). Never start the session with a bout of scolding. She will never talk in this way. Place empathy, hold temper, seek understanding and always show concern. Gradually she will give in and reveal the things that are happening provided situations are revolved around non-love external matters. E.g. family problem, rebellious, etc.
If it is a change of heart, she may not expressed them if the above tactic were to employ. Then, observe a time frame to keep check.
Cheers
but she is tat type tat dun take the hard or the soft.. when she make up her mind of not saying n she means it... -
Originally posted by tia:abit chim.. but somehow get wat u trying to say..
but she is tat type tat dun take the hard or the soft.. when she make up her mind of not saying n she means it... It's a whole package, which involve body language, personality, actual tactics displayed and whole lot of other thingy. The cute thingy about deception is that it cannot stay for long. Truth will be out sooner or later, but of course, it cannot stop us from knowing the truth earlier.
How old is she and him? How long the relationship? Do they have any major problems in their relationship in the past or present?
Cheers -
both of them are 21 tis yr..
ya.. they juz broke off not long ago.. but patch back on the 2nd day.
they both were studying,den my frend's pri sch frend called him n saying tat his frend(ger) is in danger,as in she is staying in the hosp cuz recently meet an accident.
So b4 he rush off,he sent his gf home alone in a cab.
Den his gf got jealous n tot tat both of them having an affair.
So i told my frend to bring her to the hosp to visit tat gal but she refuse.
So she was angry n broke off wif him till 2 days later when she cooled down n accepted my frend's apology. -
Originally posted by tia:both of them are 21 tis yr..
ya.. they juz broke off not long ago.. but patch back on the 2nd day.
they both were studying,den my frend's pri sch frend called him n saying tat his frend(ger) is in danger,as in she is staying in the hosp cuz recently meet an accident.
So b4 he rush off,he sent his gf home alone in a cab.
Den his gf got jealous n tot tat both of them having an affair.
So i told my frend to bring her to the hosp to visit tat gal but she refuse.
So she was angry n broke off wif him till 2 days later when she cooled down n accepted my frend's apology. Foundation of relationship is weak - continuous break-patch cycle will only signify a dead relationship. Usually relationship that undergo two breaks are dead, I yet to come across one that is still alive, kicking, strong and loving after two breaks (especially with a quick patch)
A relationship grows from love and challenge, but dies from exhaustion and will to give it up.
If the girl has strong vengeful-like tendency, she may use the scenario, in this first post, to spite him or make him misery. Looking for trouble and arguments are likely, but not very certain. Date her out, talk and give a time frame to keep check.
Cheers -
i guess tats the only way isnt it?
haiz.. -
Hi Yunhaier, are you a psychologist?
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Yun, good points, but one thing we've yet to look at is the possibility of abuse or trauma. I've come across this pattern of disappearance in such cases before, and this fellow may have to simply put forward the offer of listening when the girl is ready to speak, and then waiting for a good long time for her to be ready to do so.
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the guy who posted below u is one but Yun is a xin li yi sheng haha! Very pro one too!!Originally posted by Hyperion13:Hi Yunhaier, are you a psychologist? -
TX: shhhhhh!
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I am unorthodox.Originally posted by Hyperion13:Hi Yunhaier, are you a psychologist? 
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Wah! Ged... Si jing si jing.Originally posted by True_Xerion:the guy who posted below u is one but Yun is a xin li yi sheng haha! Very pro one too!!
/me landed True_xerion a cheque.
/me whispers 'Here's the reward for advertising mui.... ' -
Yeah. That's why there are more than meets the eye.Originally posted by Gedanken:Yun, good points, but one thing we've yet to look at is the possibility of abuse or trauma. I've come across this pattern of disappearance in such cases before, and this fellow may have to simply put forward the offer of listening when the girl is ready to speak, and then waiting for a good long time for her to be ready to do so.
Cheers -
My gf is like dat sometimes U noe......
But i slowly use to it. I realises when she need me she will call me.
If she dun wanna tok.....i find her for ce her also no use...will end up quarrel.
Dun msg her so much loh..... If after a long time she dun find him....
can 4get it leh..........she's gone.
But if she still love the guy....when she wanna tok she will find him. -
Good one...Originally posted by Yunhaier: Deception ambush - There are more than meets the eye. With situations like this, it is difficult to gauge the real scene, but I suggest your friend to date his gf out and have this nice talk to her. There are tactics to find out through communication:
She is standing at advantage. Under Beggar Theory, useless to employ pressure. I suggest use emotional wordings and style of communication (especially against Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio). Never start the session with a bout of scolding. She will never talk in this way. Place empathy, hold temper, seek understanding and always show concern. Gradually she will give in and reveal the things that are happening provided situations are revolved around non-love external matters. E.g. family problem, rebellious, etc.
If it is a change of heart, she may not expressed them if the above tactic were to employ. Then, observe a time frame to keep check.
Cheers
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Somehow feel that she might be out of his league...? And if they manage to overcome this one...Originally posted by tia:both of them are 21 tis yr..
ya.. they juz broke off not long ago.. but patch back on the 2nd day.
they both were studying,den my frend's pri sch frend called him n saying tat his frend(ger) is in danger,as in she is staying in the hosp cuz recently meet an accident.
So b4 he rush off,he sent his gf home alone in a cab.
Den his gf got jealous n tot tat both of them having an affair.
So i told my frend to bring her to the hosp to visit tat gal but she refuse.
So she was angry n broke off wif him till 2 days later when she cooled down n accepted my frend's apology. ......