Parent's invasion of privacy
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Got a big problem now.
Yesterday, my mum told my dad and I that she "saw" a master degree certificate. Well my brother actually did a masters degree on the sly without the family knowing but this is not the point. The main point is that actually my Mum was poking around my brother's personal stuff in his drawer and "spying" on him or just plain kaypoh want to know everything.
Yes, a mother can be concerned about her son but this is already going overboard.
In a family there is this issue of trust; the trust that we place on our family members not to touch our personal and private stuffs when we leave our drawers and rooms unlocked when we are not around. But she has already broken this unwritten and unspoken rule and the climate of trust.
I'm thinking if she can do the same thing to my brother, will it come a day when she'll do the same thing to me and rumage through my personal stuffs when I'm not home?
If I start locking up my drawers and rooms, she'll surely complain that it'll spoil the system of trust in the family. Previously, there was this time that my brother told her something perhaps personal within the family and she went around broadcasting the information to some relatives, like my aunts and my brother was pissed. So he kept everything sort of secret from her and she did the "spying." on him.
Even when going out, she'll ask where we've been to and whom we've been with. If we refuse to answer, she'll start accusing us of "hiding everything from her." And her favorite quote, "Can't your mother know what you're doing?"
Well since she knows we're family, then if she dig our personal stuffs and discover something sensitive or personal which we don't want others to know, then for the rest of our life, itll be very hard to face and live with each other.
Now I don't know how to deal with this situation. -
Same for my mum and sis, poke around my table, even loot the stuff on my table too.
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i established v clearly since young tt i do not like ppl snooping ard my belongings.
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my room is too messy......mom dun even bother to poke around...
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Asian parents, typically, will snoop...
RPOriginally posted by m.c.king:Got a big problem now.
Yesterday, my mum told my dad and I that she "saw" a master degree certificate. Well my brother actually did a masters degree on the sly without the family knowing but this is not the point. The main point is that actually my Mum was poking around my brother's personal stuff in his drawer and "spying" on him or just plain kaypoh want to know everything.
Yes, a mother can be concerned about her son but this is already going overboard.
In a family there is this issue of trust; the trust that we place on our family members not to touch our personal and private stuffs when we leave our drawers and rooms unlocked when we are not around. But she has already broken this unwritten and unspoken rule and the climate of trust.
I'm thinking if she can do the same thing to my brother, will it come a day when she'll do the same thing to me and rumage through my personal stuffs when I'm not home?
If I start locking up my drawers and rooms, she'll surely complain that it'll spoil the system of trust in the family. Previously, there was this time that my brother told her something perhaps personal within the family and she went around broadcasting the information to some relatives, like my aunts and my brother was pissed. So he kept everything sort of secret from her and she did the "spying." on him.
Even when going out, she'll ask where we've been to and whom we've been with. If we refuse to answer, she'll start accusing us of "hiding everything from her." And her favorite quote, "Can't your mother know what you're doing?"
Well since she knows we're family, then if she dig our personal stuffs and discover something sensitive or personal which we don't want others to know, then for the rest of our life, itll be very hard to face and live with each other.
Now I don't know how to deal with this situation. -
x2 same....Originally posted by FireIce:my room is too messy......mom dun even bother to poke around... -
Every mother wants to know what her child is up to. In hope that if she finds something bad, she can be there to help her child whom she has raised.Originally posted by m.c.king:Even when going out, she'll ask where we've been to and whom we've been with. If we refuse to answer, she'll start accusing us of "hiding everything from her." And her favorite quote, "Can't your mother know what you're doing?"
Now I don't know how to deal with this situation.
I think you should just talk to your mom, tell her you're a big boy now and that you know what to do. Then, just leave condoms in your drawer/table and see what she says! It would be a funny reaction... -
x2Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Asian parents, typically, will snoop...
RP
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Try to lay down a bit of transparency among your family members and hence have a certain level of trust and respect for each other... You have to make them trust you with your own things (how old are you?) and let them know the 'going ons' to a certain extent... And in achieving a certain level of respect for each other, it's generally understood that there should be some level of privacy around...Originally posted by m.c.king:Got a big problem now.
Yesterday, my mum told my dad and I that she "saw" a master degree certificate. Well my brother actually did a masters degree on the sly without the family knowing but this is not the point. The main point is that actually my Mum was poking around my brother's personal stuff in his drawer and "spying" on him or just plain kaypoh want to know everything.
Yes, a mother can be concerned about her son but this is already going overboard.
In a family there is this issue of trust; the trust that we place on our family members not to touch our personal and private stuffs when we leave our drawers and rooms unlocked when we are not around. But she has already broken this unwritten and unspoken rule and the climate of trust.
I'm thinking if she can do the same thing to my brother, will it come a day when she'll do the same thing to me and rumage through my personal stuffs when I'm not home?
If I start locking up my drawers and rooms, she'll surely complain that it'll spoil the system of trust in the family. Previously, there was this time that my brother told her something perhaps personal within the family and she went around broadcasting the information to some relatives, like my aunts and my brother was pissed. So he kept everything sort of secret from her and she did the "spying." on him.
Even when going out, she'll ask where we've been to and whom we've been with. If we refuse to answer, she'll start accusing us of "hiding everything from her." And her favorite quote, "Can't your mother know what you're doing?"
Well since she knows we're family, then if she dig our personal stuffs and discover something sensitive or personal which we don't want others to know, then for the rest of our life, itll be very hard to face and live with each other.
Now I don't know how to deal with this situation. -
This generally wld be the case, but sometimes No matter how transparent u r, parents will snoop. This is Asia, & unfortunately, many of their generation do Not understand the concept of privacy...
RPOriginally posted by Devil1976:Try to lay down a bit of transparency among your family members and hence have a certain level of trust and respect for each other... You have to make them trust you with your own things (how old are you?) and let them know the 'going ons' to a certain extent... And in achieving a certain level of respect for each other, it's generally understood that there should be some level of privacy around... -
same same i agree...Originally posted by sam0310:x2 -
haha... remember to rip one out!Originally posted by :Every mother wants to know what her child is up to. In hope that if she finds something bad, she can be there to help her child whom she has raised.
I think you should just talk to your mom, tell her you're a big boy now and that you know what to do. Then, just leave condoms in your drawer/table and see what she says! It would be a funny reaction...