sad....why must she appear now...
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hi again pple...hais. hmm for those who know abt my past trouble...esp Yunhaier...eh, remember i once asked wat to do if (A) and his ex patch?? it happened.....but it didnt really happen. lol. okok. lemme explain. its like this....
one day, (A) went online, and saw his ex's photos. he told me he's missing her already. he's having those feelings again. he wanted to sms her for patch. that time we were smsing. so i replied him something like this "ahhah, u funny sia, see her pic only den feel like patching le." and he replied "its not bcos of that, its bcos that i've nvr forget about her before" and my heart went......shattered....its like....he once told me he had forget abt his ex le...and now he's telling me this... so i replied "ohhh..den ask her patch loh..." and he said "eh, i did something silly. i typed a msg askin her to patch, but i didnt send it. i know its 95% impossible for me and her to be back again." and im like "95%....still got 5% can wat...why not try it..." and then he replied "no, its risky. i know i cant." and then i sent him a msg saying "so wat if its risky, 95% cant, still got 5% of chance. don give up. even if she reject, also nvm wat, u and her different sch, also nvr see her everyday. but if u succeed, its ur happiness we're talkin about....think abt it.." just as i guessed, he replied "hmm, not a bad idea. ok, i'll send her that msg later." i cried while replying " =) all the best..."
that night...i cried like....i dunno how, but my pillow was kinda soaked with my tears...i felt the pain in my heart when i cried...
my best fren said im lettin my happiness slip away just right before me. and that im stupid cos im 'giving' him away and am treatin myself cruelly. and the next day...in class, as usual, he was seated just beside me, and we talk normally. except that in my heart...there's this feeling i cant describe...its always there... knowing that he's only seated right beside me, yet i cant have him...all that i've done for him...is nth compared to wat his ex is doing for him ¡X nothing. its been one year since he and his ex break...and he still misses her. i really donno wat to do anymore. he's the only one that can make me forget the one i've been liking for the past 2yrs... is there anything i can do?? make him forget her?? or make myself forget him?? haiss...
and now we seldom talk on the phone...i missed those days when we talked all the way to 4am...sighz. oh ya, i asked him whether his ex got reply anot. he said no. for that day, the suspense's killing me. bcos its only in the morning, and he sent that msg at 11.30pm yesterday night. so that whole day, she can reply anytime.....and then i told him "send again loh, maybe her phone is off." he told me she got 2 phone, so i asked him to send to both, he's like "aiyah, don wan." and then he told me "i got a feeling she doesnt wanna reply loh..aiyah, no hope le" but im not sure whether did they patch anot...perhaps this part is i ownself think too much. but i cant stop thinkin abt it. today he told me he's meeting someone... i donno who he meeting. i dont wish to know either. usually, if its his frens he's meeting, he'll say their name de..but not today..haiss..i know i think alot, i think far too much. but...i reali am going crazy. maybe they patch le..i not sure...but if they really do??..and he doesnt wanna tell me....but why?? wat are his reasons...?? and he doesnt know i like him. haiss....wat should i do now...i know i still like him.. -
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face it and accept it, he's not worth ur time and effort........
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the happiness i forge outside will nvr be true for a broken heart is the hardest to heal.... i faced it, i accepted it. whats next??? his heart aint here...... i still like him alot......i really do...i know that myself...its hard to forget him.....
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Thats sad. My heart goes out to you...
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btw....am i right by encouraging him to patch with his ex....cos i know he still misses her. did i do something wrong?? i tot "seeing the one you love, happy, makes you happy too..." but why am i feeling bery bery bery miserable now instead??? haisss....
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inappropriate topic.
i thought it should be "of all guys, why must i choose him?"
her presence at this state doesnt make much of a diff. -
you'll get over it
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wat if i dont??
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Then damn the consequences.Originally posted by blueberryjam:wat if i dont?? -
u haben try and u oredi give upOriginally posted by blueberryjam:wat if i dont?? -
Hav u let him know your feelings for him?
Looks like u have not and he is not aware of it. -
Dear Blueberry,
All I can say that, I understand how you feel and many others out there will understand how you feel...I am have almost an identical situation (with some extra complications) as you but with the roles reserved...Every day and very night the same agony...but I have learned to live with it...The feeling of wanting to be someone so much and yet you know that doing so would not result in the happiness he/she seeks...As someone once so aptly mentioned in this forum..."Loving someone it's not about possesing him/her but just to let him/her be happy in whichever way he/she sees fit". In other words, if you love him...just seeing him happy should be more than enough...I know it's not easy doing so..believe me..I have the same experience...you can look through the forum for my posts...Anyway, for my part...we are just the best of friends now...I am slowly trying to curb my feelings for her...it's slow and hard...but it will have to do for the time being...for you...I have no idea which is the 'right' way out...but do what you think it's best...you may yet still stand a chance...I don't know..nothing is certain...Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in such situations...anyway, best of luck girl...if you do wanna have a chat..look me up.. =)
Just my two cents... -
sounds like she is looking for a suggestion she wanna hear, rather than an advice that is logical..Originally posted by FireIce:u haben try and u oredi give up -
hais...i donno he tryin to spite me, make me jealous or is he just out to break my heart?? he just msged me "hais, now i walkin past the hawker centre...two years ago i came here with my ex with a bloody happy mood...hais..." everytime i see this kinda msg, tears just roll down.....like now....im crying.......
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Another sad story for all heart broken ones to dwell on. Another one that is played out and no luck with love. take care, the key is not to think too much. the more u dwell on it , the more it will "grow monsters" in your mind, infesting it till u come out with all sorts of possible bad and worse outcomes. Take heart my friend, the world is more than all this. Open your eyes, dun let this confide you into all those thoughts. Come see the world, there is definitely a better world out there for u.
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sorry to hear your story...
Well, its either you try n create opportunities to make things happen between the two of you, or at least try to slowly have him out of your mind -
no one can help her if she wanna help herself in the 1st place...........Originally posted by www:sounds like she is looking for a suggestion she wanna hear, rather than an advice that is logical.. -
Blueberryjam,
My heart goes out to u... Why din u tell him when u had the chance, u silly girl? *hugz*
I'll share wif u a quote which my fren shared wif me:
"There's only 1 man who's worth ur tears, but he'll never make u cry".
I hope u'll find tt man...
RPOriginally posted by blueberryjam:
[b]the happiness i forge outside will nvr be true for a broken heart is the hardest to heal.... i faced it, i accepted it. whats next??? his heart aint here...... i still like him alot......i really do...i know that myself...its hard to forget him.....[/b] -
i heard a similar one tt goes like thisOriginally posted by RainbowPrincess:I'll share wif u a quote which my fren shared wif me:
"There's only 1 man who's worth ur tears, but he'll never make u cry".
"No man is worth ur tears. The one who is, won't even make you cry."
i posted before donkey years ago.....then someone shot back......if father die i oso wun cry lah?
dUh~ -
Thanks for sharing. This is what i've been looking for.Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Blueberryjam,
My heart goes out to u... Why din u tell him when u had the chance, u silly girl? *hugz*
I'll share wif u a quote which my fren shared wif me:
"There's only 1 man who's worth ur tears, but he'll never make u cry".I hope u'll find tt man...
RP -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:
hi again pple...hais. hmm for those who know abt my past trouble...esp Yunhaier...eh, remember i once asked wat to do if (A) and his ex patch?? it happened.....but it didnt really happen. lol. okok. lemme explain. its like this....
one day, (A) went online, and saw his ex's photos. he told me he's missing her already. he's having those feelings again. he wanted to sms her for patch. that time we were smsing. so i replied him something like this "ahhah, u funny sia, see her pic only den feel like patching le." and he replied "its not bcos of that, its bcos that [b]i've nvr forget about her before" and my heart went......shattered....its like....he once told me he had forget abt his ex le...and now he's telling me this... so i replied "ohhh..den ask her patch loh..." and he said "eh, i did something silly. i typed a msg askin her to patch, but i didnt send it. i know its 95% impossible for me and her to be back again." and im like "95%....still got 5% can wat...why not try it..." and then he replied "no, its risky. i know i cant." and then i sent him a msg saying "so wat if its risky, 95% cant, still got 5% of chance. don give up. even if she reject, also nvm wat, u and her different sch, also nvr see her everyday. but if u succeed, its ur happiness we're talkin about....think abt it.." just as i guessed, he replied "hmm, not a bad idea. ok, i'll send her that msg later." i cried while replying " =) all the best..."
that night...i cried like....i dunno how, but my pillow was kinda soaked with my tears...i felt the pain in my heart when i cried... my best fren said im lettin my happiness slip away just right before me. and that im stupid cos im 'giving' him away and am treatin myself cruelly. and the next day...in class, as usual, he was seated just beside me, and we talk normally. except that in my heart...there's this feeling i cant describe...its always there... knowing that he's only seated right beside me, yet i cant have him...all that i've done for him...is nth compared to wat his ex is doing for him ¡X nothing. its been one year since he and his ex break...and he still misses her. i really donno wat to do anymore. he's the only one that can make me forget the one i've been liking for the past 2yrs... is there anything i can do?? make him forget her?? or make myself forget him?? haiss...
and now we seldom talk on the phone...i missed those days when we talked all the way to 4am...sighz. oh ya, i asked him whether his ex got reply anot. he said no. for that day, the suspense's killing me. bcos its only in the morning, and he sent that msg at 11.30pm yesterday night. so that whole day, she can reply anytime.....and then i told him "send again loh, maybe her phone is off." he told me she got 2 phone, so i asked him to send to both, he's like "aiyah, don wan." and then he told me "i got a feeling she doesnt wanna reply loh..aiyah, no hope le" but im not sure whether did they patch anot...perhaps this part is i ownself think too much. but i cant stop thinkin abt it. today he told me he's meeting someone... i donno who he meeting. i dont wish to know either. usually, if its his frens he's meeting, he'll say their name de..but not today..haiss..i know i think alot, i think far too much. but...i reali am going crazy. maybe they patch le..i not sure...but if they really do??..and he doesnt wanna tell me....but why?? wat are his reasons...?? and he doesnt know i like him. haiss....wat should i do now...i know i still like him.. [/b]
Did I ever asked you if you are a libra? By the way, must pardon me, I cannot remember every single case by memory, especially when the forum cleared alot of the old posts, then when people update me - I am quite blur.
Still, it wouldn't hinder my thoughts of your post.
Ok the situation goes like this: As a friend, you would want to see him get back to his ex because he seemed so in love with her, but obviously this conflicts heavily with your liking for him. You didn't reach to that phrase where love doesn't have to possessive because most probably if you haven't declare your love for him or if you did, but in a subtle way or it didn't have the impact you thought it would be.
Then if you were to tell him to forget it - it seemed like you are 'scheming' because you liked him and influencing him to lose that difficult competitor.
What you are doing is fueling him with false confidence. His feelings for her may remain and when he sees her photo, everything came back as if nothing had left in the beginning, but is it the same for her? Definitely not. One year change a thousand things - she has probably moved long ago, but not him. (If she has rejected his message, everything else, etc)
There are two options:
I) To wait for your turn. He haven't finished his business with her entirely. You may want to wait patiently for you turn, at your own risk. He may end up with his ex or worst - didn't have any feelings at all in the first place, making you waste the wait and feeling twice as pain as before.
II) Say your piece and forget about it. He haven't finish his business but you don't have to bother. You just want to let him know and when he is ready, he will let you know. When employing this option, totally cease asking who he is meeting, calling, etc (unless he told you himself), cease high expectation, cease past-future comparing, cease everything that you would do/feel/say/etc when you are with him with this liking undeclared. Be normal, be yourself.
Cheers -
*grinz* If pple try to shoot down love & romance cosh they're cynical, it's Not ur loss, it's Not ur fault : )
By sharing, u give hope to those who still wanna haf hope, & tt's always a gd thg : )
RPOriginally posted by FireIce:i heard a similar one tt goes like this
"No man is worth ur tears. The one who is, won't even make you cry."
i posted before donkey years ago.....then someone shot back......if father die i oso wun cry lah?
dUh~ -
Jewel,
There was a time where I almost gave up hope on men, & decided to stay single. It took time, but my guy, was more than worth the wait : )
U're such a prettie girl, I'm sure u'll haf NO problem finding 1 soon : )
RPOriginally posted by JeweL81:Thanks for sharing. This is what i've been looking for. -
As much as you feel for him, you cannot stop the feelings within him. The pain you're experiencing, is largely a partial creation by yourself.... By allowing yourself to experience that...?Originally posted by blueberryjam:hais...i donno he tryin to spite me, make me jealous or is he just out to break my heart?? he just msged me "hais, now i walkin past the hawker centre...two years ago i came here with my ex with a bloody happy mood...hais..." everytime i see this kinda msg, tears just roll down.....like now....im crying.......
Just a simple suggestion here... Whatever you feel for him is one thing. Whatever you're encouraging him to do (go after his ex.) is supposingly what a friend would advise another friend? But obviously you can't handle that position... So spare yourself that agony and stop contributing to things which you don't wish happening... If they're meant to be and he's interested enough, they would be.....
Ask yourself this question? Do you wanna be a friend or someone who's so interested in her? If you can't handle both positions at the same time, then DON'T....?
