FAQ - BGRs and general love...
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Should make a list of problems with standard answers.
First level : Are u a 1)Guy or 2)Girl
(e.g. 1) Second level : Do you have 1)Family, 2)Girl, 3)Sexual, 4)Gay or 5)Friend problems?
(e.g. 2) Third level :Is the girl 1)Pregnant with your child, 2)Pregnant with another guy's child, 3)Underaged, 4)Lesbian, 5)Far from you, 6)Possesive, 7)Loose... blah blah blah and the list goes on -
Originally posted by Lovespirit:
Thanks for the questions... Very interesting.. Though not really all new but got my head thinking...
how do i know he is the right one?
Depending on how you define 'the right one'? You probably won't know for sure till the day you die or he die? People do change sometimes? Even if he is today, he might not be tomorrow...
In life, it's generally about 'belief'... Then you go about finding out if it's for real?
Is this crush or love?
Does it matter? What's important is what follows from there?
i'm afraid that i'm not good enough for him..
What's 'not good enough'? Define it...
my bf feel insecure as i have too many guy frenz..
1st, ask yourself... "Can you be trusted?" If your answer is a FIRM 'yes'. Then ask him, "Do you love me?", "Can you trust me?"
If need to, tell him you can be trusted and he can have your words.
my best friend for years told me he like me, what should i do?
What do you wanna do?
my best friend like my boyfriend?
So what does she intend to do about it? How's your bf feeling for that? Does he know? Does she knows that you know?
what should i do to get his attention?
Subjective.
How do i know whether he want to take a step further into our relationship?
Well... You can ask? Of course, there're many other methods but how effective they are would be very much subjective depending on the guy you're interested in?
Does guy like gals to take initiative?
Subjective.
Yes.. Love itself is probably on quite a simple scheme... But it's the complications of human behaviours and relationship movements which make it all so much more complicated usually....? -
Have thought of something like this before...Originally posted by kopiosatu:Should make a list of problems with standard answers.
First level : Are u a 1)Guy or 2)Girl
(e.g. 1) Second level : Do you have 1)Family, 2)Girl, 3)Sexual, 4)Gay or 5)Friend problems?
(e.g. 2) Third level :Is the girl 1)Pregnant with your child, 2)Pregnant with another guy's child, 3)Underaged, 4)Lesbian, 5)Far from you, 6)Possesive, 7)Loose... blah blah blah and the list goes on
But sadly.. Things usually don't work this way... -
I like her. But I donno if she like me.
We used to be very close, but since I'm enlisted. It seem tat we are hi-bye frds now. -
hahah. u might as well go write a program out.Originally posted by kopiosatu:Should make a list of problems with standard answers.
First level : Are u a 1)Guy or 2)Girl
(e.g. 1) Second level : Do you have 1)Family, 2)Girl, 3)Sexual, 4)Gay or 5)Friend problems?
(e.g. 2) Third level :Is the girl 1)Pregnant with your child, 2)Pregnant with another guy's child, 3)Underaged, 4)Lesbian, 5)Far from you, 6)Possesive, 7)Loose... blah blah blah and the list goes on -
i need to really stop behavin like a lil kid....Originally posted by Devil1976:'grow up' in what sense? Why in your opinion do you think that you're 'resisting' it?
both my friends and myself believe that i'm juz resisting the idea....cos wid growin up, there are a lot more to it than juz that...
includes more responsibilities?
need to grow up mentally? -
wad is true love??
wad e difference between frdship love and love??
wad will u do to show tt u love him??
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If you interested to find out... You should know the minimal requirement..?Originally posted by edLow:I like her. But I donno if she like me.
We used to be very close, but since I'm enlisted. It seem tat we are hi-bye frds now.
Get BACK in 'connection'... -
Well... You can't change the inevitable? You like it or not, time would still fly and you will still grow...?Originally posted by shinta:i need to really stop behavin like a lil kid....
both my friends and myself believe that i'm juz resisting the idea....cos wid growin up, there are a lot more to it than juz that...
includes more responsibilities?
need to grow up mentally? -
Originally posted by jolin80:
wad is true love??
Is it that important? Even if I tell you, it might not be of much help to you? (at least not in its pure context) What's more important is how you see 'love' as defined by you?
wad e difference between frdship love and love??
Different aspect(s) of commitments...
wad will u do to show tt u love him??
Very subjective.
[/b] -
hw long it will take to know some1 beta
hw long it will take to forget some1??
wad will u do if some1 tell u tt she love u but u r not ready for commitment?? (bgr) -
what is love?
Why is love always so complicated?
Why do one love the other, but still chooses to leave him eventually?
How to keep a long-term r/s going w/o being boring?
When is the right time to get married? How do you he's the right one for u? -
Originally posted by jolin80:
hw long it will take to know some1 beta
For as long as it does... Only then would it makes a relationship interesting enough to be kept alive...
How long do you think it would take for you to know yourself better? Think about it... And you'll probably get your answer...
hw long it will take to forget some1??
When you no longer need to forget that someone.
wad will u do if some1 tell u tt she love u but u r not ready for commitment?? (bgr)
This is quite personal. What I would do personally would be to tell her the truth. -
Originally posted by *genie*:
what is love?
Depends on how you wanna see it? There're a couple of ways in which I can explain it to you... But usually very much relative to a human's context, defining love can be quite irrelevant. It's just like you asking me how a nice juicy streak should taste? Or a nice steamy natural tasting bun? I can explain and describe them to you... And without the 'tasting', does it even matter if I explain them to you? And after you've tasted them, do you think it's all that important for me to explain them to you?
Why is love always so complicated?
Because the nature of this world is complicated. It's at least a 'double layerings'... One through the complications of the nature of this world... The other through the mind of a human... I'm not sure if there could be more factors which might further complicates things... But just these two are enough to blend it much beyond recognition from time to time...
Why do one love the other, but still chooses to leave him eventually?
Sometimes there're little choices in life... Well... At least from the perception of the one who chooses to leave?
How to keep a long-term r/s going w/o being boring?
Haha... This you can ask Yun and perhaps even MCSquare... I'm quite sure they can give you pretty good answers....
When is the right time to get married? How do you he's the right one for u?
'Right time to get married' is very much dependent on the mentality of the 2 people... Usually also relative to how they see 'marriage'...
Define 'right one'?
If he fits into your definition then he could possibly be the one? Then again you might not really know him that well to tell him apart? And also, people do change from time to time...? -
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If married and suddenly met someone u can really click together then how ah?
Love, feelings comes n goes, this time comes in the form of another person, how ah? -
What does marriage means to you?Originally posted by Magnus:If married and suddenly met someone u can really click together then how ah?
Love, feelings comes n goes, this time comes in the form of another person, how ah?
Don't you love the person you've married? -
I do love the person I am married to and knows about the responsiblities and commitment that comes with marriage. But sometimes feelings for another person will well up unexpectedly.Originally posted by Devil1976:What does marriage means to you?
Don't you love the person you've married?
Love can be a strange thing, it will hit u when u less expectedly.
Love cannot be measured or quantified or understood too.
At certain point in your live, u may even feel more for someone than your life partner.
But of course, what's left me in check is stil marriage vows.
Its' just that I do get this kind of feelings (especially when I was on on oversea stints).. -
It would be interesting to attempt to answer your question with the theory I'm coming up with... But as of this instance, I think it's still young and might not be mature enough to handle your question in an appropriate manner? Hence, these are my personal thoughts...Originally posted by Magnus:I do love the person I am married to and knows about the responsiblities and commitment that comes with marriage. But sometimes feelings for another person will well up unexpectedly.
Love can be a strange thing, it will hit u when u less expectedly.
Love cannot be measured or quantified or understood too.
At certain point in your live, u may even feel more for someone than your life partner.
But of course, what's left me in check is stil marriage vows.
Its' just that I do get this kind of feelings (especially when I was on on oversea stints)..
It so very often happens that from time to time, you'll just feel like you've picked up missing pieces from your life... Have you seen the movie 'Lost in Translation'? If you haven't, I would recommend you to watch it...
How old are you now..? As you grow... You age... At some point of your life, you would start to understand that love comes in so many different ways... And the kinda 'love' that you've picked up on your overseas trips.... The 'feelings'.... Are but just some manifest of it....
You can 'enjoy' that 'feeling'... Nourish it... 'Feel' it... And very much 'benefit' from it and grow 'spiritually' from it..... Only if you know how to control yourself...? Control it...?
Anything out of control often spells disaster... That's why you'll need to know what you want out of it in the 1st place... What to do about it... What not to do... Vows of your marriage in check? At points of time, that alone is just not strong enough (depending on the situation and your character).... Ultimately, it's your love for your wife which would guide you back to the path you should be walking.... -
In view of your request... Here is a 2nd attempt...
Have decided to answer your questions again to repay your help in providing some nice questions...Originally posted by M©+square:Why always the wrong girl?
By probablity. Is it's not right then it's wrong. This question can go very much in depth. It's a mixture of your mentality of a 'right girl' and what you're prepared to do to make things 'right'.
It's also about your ability and instinct to choose a more appropriate girl.
This is only one of the factors I'm mentioning here.. One might notice that he / she is always attracted to a certain type of person. Instead of going 'I've finally found it!' and EMBRACED the 'love'... Look at the situation more clearly before you decide to 'jump' into a relationship... Don't let the 'feelings' hit the 'stars' out of ya head...
Why the girl not my kind i still like?
This... Can go much into the depths too... Simply put, can say that you're a bit too superficial?
Anyway, refer to example above...
Why i like the girl but after awhile, no more feelings?
Could be UPs and DOWNs tide in a relationship... Could also be that people have changed? Shouldn't be too surprised too?
However, if you find this happening to you too often.. You might not be someone who's suitable for a long term relationship...
Why Girls like me when i look like shit?
Don't quite get your question? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?
Why girls want to get married? Scary.
It's a sense of security and commitment.
To them, what could be so frightening about that if you're really prepared to spend the rest of your life with her?
Why guys cannot settle down?
I've read somewhere that guys are more of 'primitive hunters'... They search and they 'hunt'...
In fact, it's not always true... It depends alot on the mentality of the person.. The lifestyle... Is it routine? Is he contented? Can he be 'confined'...?
It's a plus and minus thing...
Guy wants sex only?
As much as many males are quite hormonally charged creatures, it'll be funny to think that they want sex only? It would alot depends of how they handle their 'needs'. Some females could very much be sexually hungry creatures too?
Can relationships really work at young age?
Yes. Though it's gonna be so difficult. 1st, their parents and seniors are gonna doubt them. It really depends on what kinda life style they wanna adapt and if they can handle the relationship maturely... Though it'll only natural to think that young people would lack the experience enough to cope with a relationship sensibly without affecting their academics and other aspects of their life.... However, I've personally seen young couples who can handle a BGR much better than many other adults out there? Perhaps it's also because of the fact that they lack the 'complications'?
Love and physical contact. How much is too much?
As long as both parties are comfortable with it. And not get into any trouble from it... Otherwise they'll probably have to face the consequences... One way or another...
Break up...If two persons truly loved one another once. What consitutes break up?
They might have changed? Why not? Things do change in this world...
Sometimes reality would leave people with limited options... At least in the eyes of the person who have decided to break up?
Parents Objection. Should we damn the consequences and Love anyway? Or obey and honour our parents?
Heed the advice, but make your own decision. Don't completely damn the consequences... Chances are you'll be fighting a lost battle or at least a difficult one....
Social isolation = True Love?
Nope. It's a selfish kinda love. Perhaps 'true love' in the way one have decided to define it?
My boyfriend/girlfriend have too many friends of opposite gender. I'm worried....
Is your gf / bf worth trusting? If he / she is, when him / her know that you trust him / her but state your fears too...
But ultimately, it's still about TRUST in a relationship...
Would spending lots of time together equate to LOVE?
Of course not. It's quality, not quantity. Would placing a book in front of you while you watch TV and eat tibits contribute to good results for your exams?
Would spending lesser time not be Love?
How much is too much?
It depends on the situation... Usually as defined by the 2 parties...
There is usually a 'range'... The bare minimal amount of time to spend together (subjective to the situational changes of both parties - work, school etc...)... Too long in that state would usually strain the relationship as it's only the bare minimal...
Then there'll be 'top ups'... Where you add in amount of time together... Because of programme(s)... Because of event(s)... Because you miss him / her.... One thing to note is that some couples just do 'top ups' for the sake of doing it... Which might not be healthy... You might end up having nothing to do... And such...
Then you might have this 'delusion' that you're drifting apart.. Have got nothing to share... etc...
It's like eating good food or filling your stomach?
'Bare minimal time requirement' is to fill your stomach so that your relationship won't starve to death...
'Top Ups' are just having good munches...
Throwing rubbish into your tummy (having extra time doing nothing together) is not necessarily a good thing... Though sometimes it might turn out to be a 'good time'. Other times it might not be?
Practise good control over it...
We are in Love but When quarrels and arguements gets rough. How?
Get to the roots of things... But that should be the final stage if necessary.. If it's not important or not appropriate..? Sometimes you should ignore it altogether... Just that there might be quite a chance that the same problem would resurface again...
Just ask yourself a few questions? Do you love him / her? Do you want the relationship to go on? The rest should come later in a 'love relationship'...
COOL down... Love each... Talk less for now... Cuddle more... Alot of times arguements are because of misunderstandings... And misunderstandings won't be easily handled when both parties are so heated up...
Relationship for years....close to marriage. She/He chose to leave.
What am i suppose to do?!?
Find out what the reason(s)? If there's no external factor affecting... One common reason is a psychological one... Sometimes your partner might just be sort of 'frighten off' by the whole idea....
By all means, shower him / her with your love... If you've not done any wrong to him / her, show him / her that you've won his / her heart over at least ONCE before... And you can do it AGAIN....
I love him/her. But i don't miss him/her, is there something wrong with me?
Not really... UPs and DOWNs of a relationship tide... It'll only be sort of weird if you're thinking of him /her all the time? Probably honeymoon period then...?
When i get into relationship. I fear. Help!
Get to the root of the problem... Why you have this natural fear? Probably a psychological problem...
To be continued....
Thanks! -
Hi Devil,
I have watched 'Lost In Translation' and I think the character protrayed by Bill Murray will cross the line (when he whispers to the girl at the end of the show).
Although I am in my early thirties, mid-life crisis somehow came early.
I brought this issue up b'cos aside from the bonds and shackers of responsiblilies, on a personal level, i do feel something deep inside. It can be very confusing, distracting..the feeling of young love.Originally posted by Devil1976:It would be interesting to attempt to answer your question with the theory I'm coming up with... But as of this instance, I think it's still young and might not be mature enough to handle your question in an appropriate manner? Hence, these are my personal thoughts...
It so very often happens that from time to time, you'll just feel like you've picked up missing pieces from your life... Have you seen the movie 'Lost in Translation'? If you haven't, I would recommend you to watch it...
How old are you now..? As you grow... You age... At some point of your life, you would start to understand that love comes in so many different ways... And the kinda 'love' that you've picked up on your overseas trips.... The 'feelings'.... Are but just some manifest of it....
You can 'enjoy' that 'feeling'... Nourish it... 'Feel' it... And very much 'benefit' from it and grow 'spiritually' from it..... Only if you know how to control yourself...? Control it...?
Anything out of control often spells disaster... That's why you'll need to know what you want out of it in the 1st place... What to do about it... What not to do... Vows of your marriage in check? At points of time, that alone is just not strong enough (depending on the situation and your character).... Ultimately, it's your love for your wife which would guide you back to the path you should be walking.... -
Young love is not bound by the appearance of reality... Have you seen how an old couple can actually behaves so childishly and lovingly like they've just met each other and are in their early 20s?Originally posted by Magnus:Hi Devil,
I have watched 'Lost In Translation' and I think the character protrayed by Bill Murray will cross the line (when he whispers to the girl at the end of the show).
Although I am in my early thirties, mid-life crisis somehow came early.
I brought this issue up b'cos aside from the bonds and shackers of responsiblilies, on a personal level, i do feel something deep inside. It can be very confusing, distracting..the feeling of young love.
'Young love' if you want it to be... Can be 'shaped' by you.. But of course, it'll take the willingness of your wife... Tell her and convince her why you're doing all this and you wanna show her just how much you really love her again.. Ask her to give you a chance to prove yourself... I think she should be very much convinced...? -
Hi Devil,
I will work on it.
Thanks for the nudge.
Originally posted by Devil1976:Young love is not bound by the appearance of reality... Have you seen how an old couple can actually behaves so childishly and lovingly like they've just met each other and are in their early 20s?
'Young love' if you want it to be... Can be 'shaped' by you.. But of course, it'll take the willingness of your wife... Tell her and convince her why you're doing all this and you wanna show her just how much you really love her again.. Ask her to give you a chance to prove yourself... I think she should be very much convinced...? -
Good luck! Never take things for granted.. Happiness happens because you can make them HAPPEN...Originally posted by Magnus:Hi Devil,
I will work on it.
Thanks for the nudge. -
I'm a guy n i'm scared of being love by a gal. I'm not gay either. I'm juz feel kind of scared when a gal express her love to me... I have the same feeling of freeking out when different gal express their love to me. I have this feeling since the failure of my first relationship, its a bitter n sorrow end... I feel its difficult to love someone coz i scared they will end up taking my love for granted n treat me like shit again... I have also keep thinking of my ex until now, i muz say thinking of her everyday... Now my mom keep urging me to find a GF as its been 4 years since my last relationship... i'm feelin a bit of stress.